Written for a kinkmeme prompt where the author requested only good authors. This is my effort. You can also find this at my livejournal (snippy2yourcapt). Sorry I can't really link. is being funky right now. Enjoy!

Jim was so hungry. So Sebastian took him to a buffet. There was so much food! It looked so delicious and Jim really was starving. Maybe he wasn't as starving as real starving people, but he was really hungry and he couldn't stop himself.

He ate all the food! There was shepherds pie and fish and chips and other really british food and it was so delicious that Jim couldn't help himself.

He ate and ate and ate.

Sebby watched Jim eat. He was astonished because his boss/lover had never eaten like that before. But Jim looked ravenous and he knew it was better to let him eat all the food than try to stop him. Jim was like a panther guarding his kill. He would fight to the death for it and Sebb thought some stinky pie wasn't worth dying for.

Pretty soon Jim finished eating all the food ever. Everyone in the restaurant was flabbergasted. They all starred at Jim and Seb, probably because there was no food left to eat. Also, now Jim's belly was really huge! He looked pregnant! Except guys can't be pregnant and they can't be pregnant with food, so Sebby wasn't so worreid about it.

Except all of a sudden, Jim put his arms around his food baby and yelled in pain. Seb just thought he had a tummy ach, he did eat so much food after all! Except then Jim yelled "My water broke!" and Seb thought that was just weird. Did Jim just piss himself?

"I don't get it" he told Jim.

"I'm having a baby you dolt!" shouted Jim back at him.

Oh shit! Now Sebastian was really worried because he knew men can't have babies so Jim must be crazy now! Crazy from too much food. A food delirium!

Except Jim layed down on the floor of the restaurant and undid his trousers. He took them off and his pants and HOLY SHIT THERE WAS A VAGINA DOWN THERE!

Now Sebastian thought that he was the one going crazy because he had fucked Jim a billion times and he had never fucked Jim's vagina before. Because Jim didn't have one. But now he did and a head was kind of showing through down there.

It was scary. Didn't pregnant ladies have to be in pain for hours or DAYS before they gave birth? This was happening to quick. Oh well he should probably help Jim give birth.

So he did. In a few minutes (with Jim sweating and yelling bad words at random people and pushing REALLY hard) he had a baby in his arms.

Except it wasn't like a normal baby. It was BLUE! Also, it kind of looked like a fish, but a bit more human. But it was their baby, so he loved it. Oh yeah, and it was a girl, because he could tell things like that.

"Jim what is her name?" he asked Jim.

"I think we'll call her Dory." said Jim and he was crying because he was so happy to have his food baby out of him!

"Oh Jim that is a perfect name. Lets raise her to speak to whales. I think she has gills so maybe she can breath underwater."

"Wow Sebby that's a great idea!"

Then they left the restaurant with their fish/food-baby. By the time Dory was three, they had taken over the world, especially the underwater fish life. It was awesome!

And everyone was happy, except for the enslaved people!

The end!