1:23am – she calls you.
1:30am – she calls you.
2:46am – she calls you – for the last time.
2:47am – she leaves you her last voicemail.
2:49am – she was pronounced dead.
9:02am – you learn her fate.
You wonder, was their anything you could've done?
Flashback: while you were in freshmen year you and your friends are in class and you see her sitting in her desk next to her "friend;" you don't think much of it. Your teacher finishes their lesson, and you are given time to finish your assignment in class. She is sitting behind you, but she couldn't be further away. Her "friend" and she are working – only differently – her "friend" is sitting desk to desk with their real friend, pretending to work, while she is working. She is just the backup friend for emergencies. The teacher walks by, asking you how you're doing, and you say great, even though you've only put your name on the paper. You hear the teacher ask how her "friend" and their BFF are doing, you're not really paying attention until you hear the teacher's surprised voice asking her,
"Hey are you alright?"
After that you have one ear on their short conversation. By short conversation you mean an,
"I'm fine."
Followed by a simple,
"Ok."
You wonder if she is being sincere.
The counselor asks you,
"Are you alright?"
Your response?
"I'm fine."
That night, you dream of her.
You see her as you remember her – so happy and full of life. You wonder? Was this all a lie? Was she always depressed but you never noticed it – only noticed who she showed herself as? What's this? Why is she running from me?
You thought she loved you…
Did she really…
She takes off running, and you follow in hot pursuit. Why is she always running? But every time you feel as though you can catch her, she only speeds up. Will you ever catch her? Did you ever even have her? You add an extra burst of speed, and you finally grab hold of her arm; only to see that you never really had her, and the chase continues. You glance around looking for her – and you find her. She is laying on the grass a little to the left of you looking up to the sky. You come closer, only to freeze when you see her,
Actually see her.
For the first time, perhaps?
Her head is turned up to the sky, and you see her eyes. However, they are different then you've always thought of them as. You used to think of them as doe eyes –
Full of life
With warmth you could always drown in.
But this time –her eyes are
Lifeless
Uncaring and
Cold.
You freeze, being startled by her eyes - they are the cause of her face being drenched in tears. Then you notice her body – and the scars on her wrists, some old scars, and some still bleeding. There is blood surrounding her. Just like her body which you ran to see when you got the news, hoping, praying that it was all a cruel joke. Unfortunately, it wasn't. It is then when you notice her standing next to her body, looking at you with her lost eyes.
You wonder, who is this foreign girl?
You also wonder, who did you know?
Did you know her at all?
At her funeral, she lies in her casket. Makeup on that she never wore, a dress that looked foreign on her, and a dead body due to a cause that you would have never imagined for her. Her long sleeves and gloves hide her arms so you can't see her scars – or her weapon of choice –her slit wrists. You look into her casket; still with lost hope that maybe she is just asleep, and not dead. However, even talking with Luna and Harry didn't prepare you for the sight of her. Just as you had hoped and wished, she was asleep, only it wasn't the sleep you wanted. Your sleep was for her to be able to awaken, but here she was asleep in a never ending eternal sleep that she would never wake from. You hear lighting and thunder in the distance. It reminds you of her.
It was storming outside. Now usually you would just sit back on the couch and complain. Except for today, when you saw her standing in the rain, looking up with that beautiful smile on her face. You run outside to her, skidding to a stop when she turns to you with that smile reserved for you. In one breath, you ask her to be your girlfriend. She looks at you confused.
"Can you repeat that? I didn't catch that."
You stare at her for a moment, until your heart wins over, and you kiss her, you kiss her as you've never kissed anyone else. You pull away to see her astonished face. A second passes when she grabs your face and kisses you with just as much passion and love that you gave her. After that, you became inseparable.
After her funeral, you meet up with Harry, Ginny, and Luna. You all still have tears in your eyes. You stare at you phone that holds your last memory of her living. Ginny sees you looking at it and asks
"Did you get a voicemail from her too? We all got one too, except for Harry."
"She didn't call you?"
"No, she did call me, but I answered the phone. She left her message and hung up, although I think she was confused when she heard me answer."
We didn't, no we couldn't say her name. It was like a taboo. Although, we did talk about her, and we cried about her, heck my whole family came and was crying with us.
"Her message now haunts my dreams, but it isn't the message that gets me, it's the voice that she used. It was so certain and clear, but also so lost sounding." Luna put in. We all agreed.
It's been years, and you still can't forget her, or move on. You haven't even dated anyone after her.
You begin cutting – because it makes you remember her – and to help feel close to her.
You stand at her grave site holding a bouquet of flowers, all ivory roses. You place them over her grave and trace her name on the gravestone.
Hermione Jean Granger
You tear up after just reading her name. You stand there, just standing, hoping, once again, that you will smell her sweet smell, or will hear her voice whispering in the breeze. Or maybe, you might feel the best of all, her presence next to you. Ultimately, you never hear, see, smell, or feel her, just like every other time.
You wander around town, with no set destination in mind. It is her birthday today. You head to the bookstore – she always did love bookstores. You find Harry there, reading a tale about magic – she always did believe in magic, even if everyone else thought she was crazy. You sit next to harry, even though you are not aware of it – your mind isn't functioning today.
"Ron, you should go out tonight. I know it is hard to move on, but its time. Don't let this consume your life."
"I can't Harry, I just miss her much. I can't just forget about her."
"It's been years, she would want you to move on. In fact, everyone has."
"Well then maybe you just didn't love her as much as I did."
"Don't even start with that again."
"But Harry, it's just so hard. I can't just move on with my life – because she was my life."
"That's fine Ron, it's hard for everyone to move on, and I miss her too. But you've got to move on. There is so much left to live for, and it's not like you're never going to see her again. You're not the first and you're not the last one who will deal with something like this."
"But I want her back."
"We all do. Come on, let's go say goodbye to her, and reassure her that we may have moved on, but we will never forget her.
"What?"
"Hey Hermione, I still miss you, but I'm moving on. I'm dating Ginny now, you were right. We do make a happy couple if I do say so myself. And Ron has something to tell you too."
"I miss you, Hermione." Is all he manages until he bursts into sobs once more.