Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or any of the characters, and this is one of the few stories where I don't add OC's, lol.
Description: Shagotte leaves a journal in Pantherlily's room soon after the Exceeds move from Edolas to Earthland. It's filled with her poetry and true feelings for him, as well as a letter telling Pantherlily the truth about Charlotte being his daughter.
Rating: I'm gonna' say K+. I don't think there's any Teen themes in this one either. There may be like a couple of blotted out curse slips and vague suggestions (not really specific enough where one can tell exactly), but other than that, I don't think it's mature enough for a T rating, lol.
A/N: Okay, Dark Savior 1, I know this isn't exactly what you requested, but I hope it's okay; this story just popped up in my head and I'm like, "Wow. I really like this" so I really hope you enjoy the read. And to all the readers of "Of Straus Siblings and Thunder Bodyguards", don't worry, I haven't abandoned it, just filling out a little ShagottexPantherlily oneshot.
LETTERS TO LILY
Pantherlily stretched and flexed his muscles after a long bout of sword fighting with Erza. Such sparring was good to develop his muscles and keeping his instincts sharp. He was beginning to hold his form for longer, as well.
"Yo, Lily." Pantherlily looked over at Gajeel, who was sprawled out on his bed, hands behind his mess of raven spikes. "Your girlfriend dropped some book off." Gajeel pointed to the table.
"Girlfriend?" Pantherlily inquired, picking up the book. Shagotte, 96th Monarch of the Exceeds.
"Yeah, Queen what's-her-face."
"Queen Shagotte. It's not that hard to remember." Rolling his eyes, Pantherlily opened the cover.
Dear Lily,
I cannot express how sorry I am to have banished you. But seeing as I am not even allowed to lay eyes on you ever again, I cannot tell you anyway. Just know that I love you still, even though you must feel deep pain and betrayal at my despicable actions. Believe me, my dear Lily, I will never forgive myself for casting you out just because you came to a human's aid. If I could reverse my decision, I would in a heartbeat.
I have left this book in your possession so that I can somehow let you know the pain that I felt when I had to let you go. I am also leaving this book in your possession to inform you that you are Charle's father.
Quite truthfully, I would understand if you burned this book because of what I've done to you. I just...I suppose I just hoped that you still love me as I love you.
Your one and only,
Shagotte
Pantherlily read in silence, sighing just as silently. I always suspected Charlotte was my daughter. Though...I don't know how Shagotte doesn't realize I'd never stopped loving her. I tried to make that fact clear when I saved her... "Despite what you've done to me in the past...you'll always be my queen"...
Pantherlily turned the page, his eyes falling on a poem. He smiled. Shagotte had always loved poetry; and she knew that he always loved reading the poems that she wrote. He flipped through the pages, seeing that every poem she'd ever written (to his knowledge) were present. The fact made his smile grow even broader.
A Nuisance
He's aggravating,
And yet he still finds a way
To bring forth my smile.
He's always prying
And poking his nose into
Things that he shouldn't.
But he's not even
Fazed when I chastise him
Harshly for his childish ways.
True, he is quite the
Nuisance, and yet I find I
Enjoy his presence.
I try to study
To take on my duties for
My much-loved kingdom.
Yes, he is quite the
nuisance, but he is purely my
Very own nuisance.
Pantherlily chuckled, remembering the first time that he and Shagotte had met. He was looking up types of blades and weapons for his training when he'd found her hidden behind stacks and stacks of books on history, battle strategies, ancient kings and queens, myths and legends, literature, and so many other academic subjects; much like Gajeel's Levy McGarden. He remembered how high Shagotte had jumped when he'd said hello, and how hard she'd smacked him when he called her d*** sexy.
I Will Not
I will not fall for him,
I will not fall for him,
I will not fall for him!
I will not sacrifice my focus on ruling my kingdom
I will not indulge in any distractions
I will not fail to perform my duty as queen over the Exceeds
I will not fail to protect my people from the humans
I will not fall for him,
I will not fall for him,
I will not fall for him!
True, he is my most trusted warrior
And my best friend
And in truth I am very much in love with him,
But despite all this!
I will not, must not fall into this...this affair!
I will not, I will not...
Again, Pantherlily remembered the times he and Shagotte spent together, how much he loved her. How she had been so adamant about them not being together. How he'd been equally adamant that they were meant for each other, despite what the stuffy old elders thought.
Falling Apart
I'm falling apart
But I can't say that's a bad thing.
This light feeling in my heart,
The joy that it brings...
I tell him yes,
That he is the one I love.
Such a beautiful mess
Is this, raining down from above.
I'm falling apart
My composure, my dignity,
But he has my heart,
And he loves me.
What more do I need
Than his comforting arms
With every breath I breathe,
I know I am far from the dark.
I'm falling apart,
But that doesn't matter now
The thing that matters is our hearts
Will never let their lights fade out.
Though I fall apart,
He's putting me back together and making me new,
Pantherlily, you have my heart,
And I'm glad that I have yours, too.
Looking at the date, Pantherlily saw that this was just after they'd secretly gotten married behind the elders' backs. He smirked his fingers lightly ghosting across the page in nostalgic awe. Even though this wasn't his first time reading this piece, it still made him swell with pride that he could make Shagotte, the serious and stoic Queen Shagotte, feel such emotions.
With One Glance
With one glance, you make my knees buckle
With one smile, you make my heart somersault
With one touch, you make me beautiful
With one chuckle, you make me wonderful
With one word, you make everything right.
It was a short, but sweet poem, one that touched Pantherlily's heart and brought yet another smile to his lips. He remembered this night that she's indicating; such wonderful moments. He remembered them so clearly.
"You been smilin' a lot over there," Gajeel remarked, munching on some iron.
"It's a very nostalgic book."
"Ah," Gajeel grunted, not pausing in his iron munching. "Just keep it from Levy if I ever bring 'er over. Not that she'd intentionally pry; just that she'll read anything with letters and a cover."
Pantherlily chuckled. "Looking at her and Shagotte, I don't see how they haven't grown up together. They're so similar."
Gajeel grunted again, continuing to munch. Pantherlily returned to the journal, flipping to the next page.
What have I done
I've sent away the one I love the most
Forced to watch him abandon his long loved post
His proud shoulders slumped down
His feeling of betrayal so solid, so sound
I lower my head to hide the tears
To mourn for all the years;
Years that we could've shared
If only life were fair.
Something broke and something hardened in those moments
As I stand in my laments
I will no longer chase after my own happiness
For it has led to something as terrible as this.
I have sent away the only one who could love me for who I am
The only one who would truly stand
By my side
And not behind...
He loved me with all he had, just as I love him...
But as he walks away, dejected as I, I sit here, lost in my sin
When I am alone, I let the tears fall
Having given up it all.
I must sit here, all alone
On the cold, uncaring throne
That holds a responsibility that freezes the light of the sun
And I must ask myself "What have I done"
Pantherlily lowered the book into his lap. It hurt her more than it hurt me... He realized. The impact of what seemed like her betrayal had hit him hard, but it had destroyed her. It had destroyed her to let him go and send him away while keeping her composure, pretending that it didn't affect her any more than if she would've had to send one of the elders away.
Darkness
My Pantherlily
Has long departed on his
Way, while I still remain.
I carry his child,
Wishing he were still here to
Love her beside me.
But he doesn't know
Of her existence because
Of my own mistake.
I lay in darkness
Hoping my child will still grow
To be loved by all.
Perhaps one day she
Will find her father and know
That he loves her too.
Yet these hopes still
Seem in vain because of my
Mistakes; my darkness.
This must have been months later, as Shagotte had apparently forgotten to put the date. But she was far enough along to know that she would hatch a girl.
Hope?
The world is dying
My egg is dying
My hope is dying
But there may be some hope...
If I give my egg half my power, all of my hope,
She will live; she is my hope.
There may be a way, one chance
To save the Exceed children from the fate of this dying world, just one chance.
If I can get them out, then they'll have a chance.
I sent them away, on a fake quest, but they'll be safer there, on the other side
Perhaps, wherever he is, Pantherlily will one day find hope, maybe on the other side
Perhaps he will meet his daughter, somewhere on the other side.
I just hope it's enough, oh please let there be enough hope.
To let them through, this is my plea, my hope.
Each page brought out his emotions. He could feel her fear, pain, depression. He could feel it all. He could feel everything. Once more, Pantherlily wished he'd been by Shagotte's side through this ordeal, instead of training under the prince and Erza Knightwalker. But he could not turn back the sands of time and change the past. He didn't know that he'd be able to do anything different even if he had such an ability.
Again We Meet
Again we meet,
My sweet Pantherlily.
If only it were on better terms,
But I can't blame you; you were so severely burned.
Those words you said to me
As you caught and saved me
Broke my heart all over again
And made me inwardly weep once more because of my sin.
Despite the circumstances, I can't help but feel relieved
That you are alive and well; just as I had wanted to believe.
I never meant to hurt you, My love
I can't express that enough.
Even though I won't
Blame you if you don't
I can't help but hope you'll forgive me
When again we meet.
Pantherlily smiled to himself, a tear pricking his eye. He wiped it away. Before he'd seen her again, he'd hoped for so long, wished with everything he had, that she still loved him. And the proof was right here in his hands. He continued to read through the poetry, even long after Gajeel had fallen asleep.
By the time Pantherlily put the book down, it was nearly dawn. He sighed to himself, holding the book in his lap, before opening it and reading it again. And again. And once more; over and over until he could recite it by memory, letting it heal his heart bit by bit.
A/N: Sorry if the poetry is cheesy. I'm not good at writing poetry on specific, planned out themes; I do better when it's random, spontaneous inspiration, you know? Lol, but I really hope y'all enjoyed it, please R&R. This is also my first oneshot, so I hope I did okay~ (Original note.)
P.S. Sorry it was so grammatically horrible; I wasn't as careful as I usually am and do apologize. I'm fixing all of my stories that were this way, so bear with me until it's done if you please. I'd also like to see some reviews maybe?