I'm limping through the thick forest, my blood trailing behind me, I hear a twig snap and whip around thinking it is one of my many deleterious foes. I fall to the ground once more and land on my back, looking up at the unfamiliar stars, and for a moment, I forget where I am and a snapshot of bliss falls upon me for the first time since I opened up that game. Then I remember where I am and try to get up, to no avail. This time my leg is broken. I reach over and twist my wrists in a familiar motion. A green cloud of (well, I haven't figured out what exactly it is yet, but I'm sure I will! But for the time being, let's call it 'stuff') stuff appears around my leg as I try to stitch the bone back together.
But where are my manners? Let me give you a quick overview of this unfortunately typical situation. Basically, my three friends and I played a game. It was a game from the popular web comic Homestuck. This game destroyed the planet. We beat the seven hundred hour campaign and successfully created a new universe. Now bored because we were all the maximum level, we decided to visit the new universe. This new universe was in a league of its own. The players gave us praise for us having beaten the game, and we were able to provide information about the campaign, but other than that we were no help. The odds of this game were heavily stacked against them and there was a group of condescending trolls constantly contacting the players and destroying their friendship.
Eventually we decided to intervene. The game did not take this well and tried to get rid of us. It gave us everything it had, and it still lost, it wasn't until one of our own players turned against us and killed everyone except for me that we had any trouble at all. I barely got away, teleporting myself to a faraway planet. To be fair, our traitor's sanity was short lived and she has always been very flashy, it was only a matter of time until the Mage of Doom turned.
She has always been a very hedonistic individual and was romantically turned down by a fellow party member. She worked very hard at keeping the murders a secret, but at the end it could only be me or her. I have never been a hard working person, but in this case it was necessary. I had a plan to use the Rouge of Time to go back and stop whoever killed the Bard of Heart, but I told everyone, assuming it to be an enemy. I was so wrong, she reached out and cut off the rouge's head and then looked at me like I was the next one to go. Then I yelled;
"You!"
"Yes me. I'm a little bit surprised it took you so long."
"They were your friend5!"
"And now they're dead, see the mistakes that were made here?"
"I'm going to kill you!"
"Very likely, now let's see what happens next." She ended with a sly smile.
I lunge at her, pulling my uranium keyboard out of thin air. I input a quick code into the keyboard and it turns into a chainsaw. She quickly sidesteps and counters using only her fists. Her blows land and they leave me bruised and backing up, almost tripping over the rouge's head. Seeing this inspires new rage and I come at her again, this time with a sharpened flag pole. I cut off her arm and she simply picks it up off the ground and hits me with it. She knocks my keyboard out of my hand and comes over to finish me off, but we both forgot one crucial detail, one rule that we both forgot about. Don't turn your back on the bodies. As she is walking up to me she suddenly recoils in pain. At this point in my beating I am barely conscious and my head hurts. She shifts, giving me a clear view of the situation. The Rouge did not die a heroic death and therefore did not die at all. This is a rather complicated subject so I will not go into any details, but the only two ways a god tier may die is if he/she dies a heroic death or is brought to justice. This makes us very hard to kill.
Anyway, it turns out the rouge did not die and the Mage and I were too involved in our battle to notice or think about it. The Rouge stabbed her and did not hit any vital organs (unfortunately) so she lived. The Mage then hit the Rouge so hard that her heart stopped, then exploded. This counted as a heroic death for the Rouge because she was trying to save me. I realized she knew this was a futile attempt and that she was trying to provide a distraction so I could escape. I did so, but not before the Mage noticed and almost broke my leg. I teleported to a random planet and have been here for about twenty minutes now.
'I wonder when 5he'll get here.' I think to myself as my leg finishes healing. I hear a large crashing sound in the distance and murmur, "I gue55 that'5 her." I reluctantly get up on my new leg and take one last sad glance at the stars, and to the stars I make a promise, this time I won't go easy.
I fire myself up into the air and look around for her; I see a small village two miles away that is on fire, found her. I teleport over and telepathically put out the flames. The villagers are all dead but there is no Mage to be found. Where could she have gotten to? The answer is suddenly obvious as I feel a strong impact on my back. I turn around and see her standing there. Smug, as always. She thinks she surprised me, but there is predictable, and then there is that.
She, as I mentioned before, has a very smug look on her face, so I decided to smash a tree over her head. I do so, oh so very successfully. I am laughing harder than I have ever laughed. The Mage looks at me with a stare that could kill and the playfully says, "Well, if it is a telepathy fight you want, it's a telepathy fight you'll get." Red and blue lightning rain down from the sky as she raises her hands up in the air. She points at me and the lightning goes into the huts of the village below and grabs various sharp things, with the obvious intention of impaling me. I teleport the objects into the middle of a nearby star and all is well.
"MY TURN!" I yell as the entire world below shakes and I glow a bright green. I sling the green stuff at her with the intention to kill. The Mage realizes that I am serious and tries to protect herself, but she is not quick enough. The green stuff melts the skin off her bones and turns her bones to ash. I let out a sigh of relief as I finally see that this whole thing is behind us and over. But now I am alone, without anyone, sad as I may be, there still may be hope for them in the furthest ring. But that is for next time.
