Prologue
Most people assume angels are pure, free from humane flaws and imperfections. That they are faultless, and never drawn to human temptations. Most people are stupid. Angels are beings of light, yes, but that does not make them yearn for things any less than a mortal would.
My name is Patch Cipriano. I am a fallen angel. What does that mean? It means I was stupid, I lusted too much, tried to become a human, and fell from Grace instead. My wings wrenched from my back and my name made infamous in heaven. I have a plan though, oh yes did I have a plan. For Chauncey had a descendant, a child. One I would make sacrifice herself to me, so I could attain my one and only goal in life: to become human. Because that's all I cared about.
"and then I gutted the guy like a fish. No one never gon' try to steal my girl again." A crooked old man who reeked of whiskey and bourbon bent over the pool table at Bo's and made his move, while telling a very uninteresting story of how he "stabbed a guy who hit on his lady". I knew the truth of course. The sleaze bag's girlfriend actually hit on him, and the old man tried to stab him, but got beaten; severely. These thoughts were running through his mind as he straightened his body and grunted my direction; indicating it was my turn.
Sighing, I walked over and placed my stick on the table. Normally I'd be all over that guys ass, making him spill his guts and be rightfully embarrassed. But I wasn't in the mood. Honestly, all I wanted to do was win a few bucks off this guy and then sleep. As my luck would go though, of course it didn't happen like that.
Rixon had convinced me to play a couple hands of cards with him, as poker was his game and he "had a feelin about tonight." I had a five, an ace, and a nine left in my hand when the cashier came up to me. "Someone wants a word with you." He said; the smell of cigar coming out of his mouth. I raised my eyebrows; who could be coming to see me? The only person I talked to was sitting at the table right beside me. "She wouldn't give her name," he continued and I really wished he'd step back, as the smell was overpowering. "I asked a couple of times. I told her you were in a private game, but she wouldn't leave. I can throw her out if you want." Well now I was curious. A girl, asking for me by name?
"No. Send her down." While saying that, I played the rest of my cards, then gathered my chips and stood. Pocketing them, I walked over to my side of Bo's – the pool tables – and awaited my visitor.
I smelled her before I saw her. At first I thought my senses were acting up, because the fake rose and floral scent didn't make any sense. It was impossible, unbelievable and yet the fragrance was there. And then she stepped down the stairwell-out of the shadows, an angel with tight clothes, sucking a lollipop provocatively. An angel I detested.
"Dabria?" I said, some of the shock I felt spilling into my words, making it more of a question then a declaration. I quickly recovered from my surprise, and felt my usual stoic mask slide over my features. Dabria walked over to the trash and discarded her lollipop – hopefully assuming she wasn't going be able to seduce me. Lord knew those days were over. No seriously; all of heaven knew me and Dabria would never be a thing again.
"How have you been?" Dabria teased, knowing full well the last few years on Earth had been hell for me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked instead of answering. I regarded her carefully; I knew full well what Dabria was capable of, her wings still attached.
"I sneaked out." Dabria's smile turned into one of mischief, and I again wondered how she could be considered 'pure'. "I had to see you again. I've been trying for a long time, but security-well you know," and I did know. I knew how horrible the angels could be, and I knew Dabria was once again mocking me. "It's not exactly lax. Your kind and my kind – we aren't supposed to mix. But you knew that."
Double checking to make sure my voice remained gruff and indifferent, I replied, "Coming here was a bad idea."
Dabria's mouth turned down into what I supposed to be a sexy pout and she said, "I know it's been a while, but I was hoping for a slightly more friendly reaction." I inwardly gawffed; did she really expect us to go back to the way we were, when the angels stripped me of my wings? Was she that vain? Deciding not to even answer that, I just stared.
Dabria sauntered forward and lowered her voice into what I supposed was her 'bedroom voice'. "I haven't stopped thinking about you. It wasn't easy getting down here. Lucianna is making excuses for why I'm absent. I'm risking her future as well as my own. Don't you want to at least her what I have to say?"
No. I didn't. But she did risk coming down here for me; and I guessed it wasn't just so she could sex talk to me. Probably. But that didn't mean for one second I trusted her, or any of the words that came out of her mouth. "Talk."
"I haven't given up on you. This whole time-"she stopped talking suddenly and I was surprised to see moisture filling her eyes. Real or fake? True tears, or were they another fallacy? Her voice faltered as she spoke again, "I know how you can get your wings back."
Boom. That was a major bombshell dropped. My wings…given back to me? What made her even think I wanted them back? After all the angels had done to me – she really expected me to come running back into heavens arms? Dabria smiled a hopeful smile, but I had no thought of returning it. I didn't smile – not for her – not for anything. There was no joy in my life; because of the damn angels.
"As soon as you get your wings back, you can come home, everything will be like it was before. Nothing has changed. Not really." At this I scoffed in my mind. Did she really think nothing had changed? Everything had changed. I had become a fallen, a disgrace, someone all the good little angels looked down upon.
"What's the catch?" there always was one with Dabria.
"There is no catch. You have to save a human life. Very judicious, considering the crime that banished you here in the first place." No catch eh? Liar. No way I could've done what I did and by saving a human life, become an archangel again. No way.
To voice my opinion I asked one question, "What rank will I be?" Dabria down casted her eyes and all the hope leaked out of them like air from a balloon.
"I just told you how to get your wings back." Her voice grew superior as she continued," I think I deserve a thank-you…"
"Answer the question." I didn't want to play her silly games, skirting around the important parts but never delving in. I didn't have the energy.
"Fine you'll be a guardian, all right?" This time I couldn't keep the laugh in my head. I quietly snickered at the ridiculousness of it. She wanted me to become a guardian. A puny, insignificant guardian. Hell, a fallen was probably regarded as highly as one.
"What's wrong with being a guardian?!" Dabria commanded. "Why isn't it good enough?" She knew full well why it wasn't good enough. Me, a guardian, I almost laughed again.
"I have something better in the works." I replied to her, my mask once again in place after my little snickering session. And I did have something better in the works. I would become human. And I would be able to feel again.
"Listen to me Patch." Dabria said emotionally, "there's nothing better. You're kidding yourself. Any other fallen angel would jump at the chance to get their wings back and become a guardian. Why can't you?" irritation filled her voice, and, dare I say it, I even think rejection was evident in her tone.
"It was good seeing you again, Dabria. Have a nice trip back." I was about to turn to go find Rixon, to say goodbye and then get the hell outta here, when a crushing force grabbed my chest. A hand knitted itself to my shirt, and the smell of roses invaded my nose as lips crashed into mine. Dabria, back for one final kiss? I instinctively turned toward her, and I could feel the power thrumming through her veins. My hands ghosted up her arms, reveling in the power, knowing I used to feel like this.
Dabria finally pulled away, and it was only after she was away from me that I realized what I had done. I had been making out with an angel. An angel!
"I should go," Dabria said her voice slightly breathless. "I've already stayed too long. I promised Lucianna I'd hurry." DabrIa walked back to where I was standing and hugged me-literally hugged me. "Save one human life and you'll have your wings again. Come back to me." Her voice had taken on a pleading tone and she stepped back. "I have to go. None of the others can find out I've been down here. I love you."
I almost believed her too. She was so believable. But as she turned away, her expression caught in one of the customers glasses, and I saw the expression she was wearing. Smug, and sly, and I knew she had bluffed through our entire conversation. I flicked out my hand and caught her wrist.
"Now tell me why you're really here.' No one threw a fast one at me; no one. I steered her roughly toward a barstool and pushed her into it, perhaps with more force than necessary. I hate being lied too.
Dabria was already trying to cover it up before I had even at down. "What do you mean, what am I here for?" she stammered, obviously trying to think of words to dissuade me. "I told you-"
"You were lying." I emphasized the last word; after all the years spent together she knew how much I detested liars. She widened her eyes, and her mouth dropped open in 'surprise'.
"I can't believe-you think-"
"Tell me the truth, right now."
Dabria seemed to have a miniscule debate in her head, and then, with a glare of hatred, she said, "I know what you're planning to do."
So she did eh? She knew all about the sacrifice, the killing of an innocent? There was a chance, albeit small, she was talking about another one of my plans though. So playing it safe I gave a small chuckle, as if to insinuate Which plan are we talking about here?
"I know you've heard rumors about The Book of Enoch. I also know you think you can do the same thing, but you can't." So she did know about the sacrifice. Shit.
Folding my arms across the bar, considering a drink, I said, "They sent you here to persuade me to choose a different course, didn't they? If I'm a threat, then the rumors must be true." Hope filled my insides. So it was possible for an angel to become human. Otherwise why would the angels have shown such an interest?
Dabria looked worried, but tried to hide it, "No they're not. They're rumors."
"If it happened once, it can happen again." Best to keep Dabria talking; information used to ooze from her lips without her permission.
"It never happened. Did you even bother to read The Book of Enoch before you fell? Do you know exactly what it says, word for holy word?" Anger and fear were evident in her tone, and I knew I was getting closer to the truth.
"Maybe you could loan me your copy." I snarled back, knowing full well this would get a rise out of her.
"That's blasphemous! You're forbidden to read it! You betrayed ever angel in heaven when you fell!" Ah yes, there was that. How silly of me to forgotten I'd been BANISHED to hell-on-Earth. Keeping myself from retorting, I asked,
"How many of them know what I'm after? How big of a threat am I?"
Dabria shook her head, and her long blonde hair shimmered in the dim lighting. "I can't tell you that. I've already told you more than I should have." A grim satisfaction filled me. If Dabria wasn't willing to tell me, it must be uproar up there.
"Are you going to stop me?" My voice was calm and uninterested; while in my mind I was considering the possibility of if her feelings for me were enough to keep her from ratting me out.
"The avenging angels will." So she still cares for me enough to not tell herself, but she will do nothing if others come for me. Good to know.
"Unless they think you talked me out of it." I locked my eyes with her and turned on my pleading face.
"Don't look at me like that." Dabria was breaking, I could tell. Her voice cracked, and I knew I needed to push only a little farther to get her help. "I won't lie to protect you. What you're trying to do is wrong. It's not natural." Rich, considering the fact ripping off an angels wings could be considered wrong and unnatural too.
"Dabria." I wrapped my voice around her name, caressing each syllable.
"I can't help you," She resolutely said. "Not that way. Put it out of your mind. Become a guardian angel. Focus on that and forget The Book of Enoch."
Making up my mind, I ground my elbows deeper into the countertop and turned to look at her once more. "Tell them we talked, and I showed interest in becoming a guardian."
Hope filled Dabria's eyes and she replied, "Interest?"
"Interest," I repeated. "Tell them I asked for a name. If I'm going to save a life, I need to know who's at the top of your departing list. I know you're privy to that information as an angel of death."
Dabria's eyes narrowed, and she responded almost immediately. "That information is sacred and private, and not predictable. The events in the world shift from moment to moment depending on human choices-"I knew Dabria could do it though. She was making excuses, trying to cover her sorry ass in case I didn't agree to it.
"One name, Dabria." All I needed was one name. One name, to decide my fate. My fate – and theirs.
"Promise me you'll forget about The Book of Enoch first. Give me your word." I couldn't do that. I wanted to be human. More than anything. Instead of voicing that however, I said,
"You'd trust my word?"
"No," she said, "I wouldn't." of course she wouldn't. Because I was a lowly fallen, and she was an angel. Standing up, I grabbed a toothpick out of habit, and began to walk out, knowing she would call me back.
3…2…1…
"Patch wait-"she began, but I continued walking. "Patch, please wait!" I stopped and looked over my shoulder at the desperate girl.
"Nora Grey." She immediately clamped her hands over her lips, but it was too late.
It's funny how ironic the world is. Really. Irony. Nora Grey, the one girl who I would have to kill to become human is next in line to die. "How is she going to die?"
"Someone wants to kill her."
"Who?" my voice free of emotion.
"I don't know," she said and covered her ears. A tiny speck of pity for her blossomed in my heart – I had been down to Earth multiple times as an angel. It was obnoxious, and completely opposite to the serene silence of heaven. "There's so much noise and commotion down here. All the images blur together, they come too fast, I can't see clearly. I need to go home. I need peace and calm."
I needed Dabria to do this one last for me though, so I tucked hair that was in her eyes behind her ear, and looked straight into her eyes, urging her to try harder.
She shut her eyes obediently and I mentally cheered. "I can't see...I don't see anything…it's useless."
I pressed on. I needed to know. "Who wants to kill Nora Grey?"
Dabria closed her eyes once more and searched through her mind, looking for anything that could help me. "Wait, I see her." My heart pulse sped up a little bit at the good news, and Dabria's voice turned anxious as she said, "There's a shadow behind her. It's him. She doesn't see him…but he's right there. Why doesn't she see them? Why isn't she running? I can't see his face; it's in the shadow…"
All of sudden Dabria's eyes flew open and she gulped air, avoiding my eyes.
"Who?"
Dabria covered her mouth with her hands, and her words came out muffled as she whispered one word.
"You."
Hours later, when I lay thinking in my bed, I realized there was only one option. I would follow Nora Grey, make her trust me, and then I would kill Nora Grey, I would become human. Because that is the only thing I wanted.