AUTHOR'S NOTES: YAY! Another MeiLi fanfic. From ME!!! Yep, me: cardcaptor girl. Ok, this fic is very special to me, because...I dunno...it's just special. I know that you'll love it. It might contain the tiny S+S themes, but its pure MeiLi and MeiLi only! By the way, I am using "Syaoran" name here, instead of "Li" and I do not own any of the characters, or CCS. (^_^) For all of you MeiLi fans out there. May the fate play gently with you.
I want to dedicate this story to ~*Cristyl Li*~. Thank you for inspiring me and hosting with me our wonderful new MeiLi shrine! The shrine is going to be huge with lots of fanfic and pictures and polls! So visit us at: www.meilinsyaoran.cjb.net ! Okie-tokie! Here I come with my dearest MeiLi fanfic:
Syaoran: "cardcaptor girl, may I just say that you are a very wonderful and talented writer?"
cardcaptor girl: "Syaoran, dear, no matter what you say to me, I'll still make you French kiss with Meilin."
Syaoran: "But-but..."
cardcaptor girl: "No but's. You will do as I say, talk as I say and think as I say. Mwahahahahaha!"
Syaoran: "But..."
cardcaptor girl: "What? You want to say that you don't love Meilin?!!! HA???"
Syaoran: "No, God no! I never wanted to say that! I love her dearly, but...only as a cousin."
cardcaptor girl: "Awwwe! Isn't it sweet? They all say that before they come to ME! Mwahahaha!"
Syaoran: "I don't really think that I could love Meilin it that way. Ever."
cardcaptor girl *a la Eriol with that evil grin*: "We'll see about that..."
Meilin: "cardcaptor girl, you are the best!"
cardcaptor girl *a la Monica Geller*: "I KNOW!!!"
Fate's Play
Chapter 1:
"When?" was the only thing she said after a long five minute pause.
"When what?" he knew perfectly well what she meant and tried his hardest to ignore the topic she started.
"When did you...find...s-someone else?" she could hardly say those words: *someone else*. They hurt so much. He paused for a moment.
"It has been some time." he said gulping and hoping that she wouldn't figure out his little secret. But she already did. It could only be *her*.
"Is it...HER?" the girl still managed to make out her sentence, because her heart was breaking down with little explosions as each moment passed by.
"Who?" The amber-eyed boy tried to play dumb, but he couldn't keep it for long after he met her face expression, full of obvious knowledge. He dropped his gaze to the floor. "...Yes, it her." he replied quietly.
"Well, what about us?" she knew what was about *us*. The raven-haired girl just needed to hear the answer from him.
"There was never *us*, Meilin. There is *you* and there's *me*; but no *us*." He said patiently.
"What?" she said shocked. She did not expect *this* from him. "How can you say such a thing? Don't I mean anything to you at all?"
"You DO Meilin, just not in *that* way." The boy said, and another little explosion burst inside her heart. *That way*; she hated this expression so much! Now it was her time to gulp.
"But-but this is, this is just temporary, right? You'll get over her; we can work this out." the girl smiled weakly, having a false hope.
"Meilin, would you just listen to me? *WE* are never gonna happen!" he yelled at her in annoyance, but then he remembered that it must hurt her very much, so he apologetically looked at the girl. She was all shaking like a lone little flower in the harsh wind; any minute the flower was ready to break. "Listen Meilin, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but it's just the way it is: you are not the one for me. But I want you to know that no matter what, I will always..." The phone ringing interrupted their conversation. The ruby-eyed girl slowly came over and picked it up:
"Moshi-moshi, Li's residence." Then after a few moments she brought the phone to Syaoran. "Its her." the girl simply said and left the room.
"Hello...Oh Hi Sakura..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three weeks later.
"Mistress Li! The dinner is getting cold, come down here!" Wei called out for me from downstairs.
"I'm coming! Just give me a sec!"
"Hurry up, dear!"
I gently brushed the raven tails of my hair with my fingers and looked in the mirror. In the mirror I saw the same thing I saw this morning, the same thing I saw yesterday and the day before. The lifeless body, like a zombie. All of my spirit faded a long time ago. People in school noticed that and began to worry about me, but I told them it was nothing. Nothing. That's exactly what I am right now; a big nothing. The Meilin Li is long gone; she's been gone for about three weeks now and I don't really think she's coming back.
I don't care about the school, martial arts or life itself anymore. And it's all because of him. Syaoran. My one true love, which left me, without really even being with me.
I cried a for LONG time, but then I stopped. All emotions have vanished from me. I am trying to be as cheerful as I can be with my friends and Wei... and Syaoran, but it's not enough. I told Syaoran that I am moving on, but let's face it: how can I be moving on if most of the day I spend in my room, staring at the wall with a blank face.
"Mistress Li! Are you coming?" Wei asked as he entered my room.
"Yeah, I am." I said happily and smiled. I am considering on becoming an actress someday.
"Okay, then let's go." we both exited room and went downstairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wei and I came in the dining room. The table was served and everything smelled lame, at least for me. But I needed to let them know opposite.
"Ahh! It smells great! Wei, did you cook everything by yourself?"
"Of course, Mistress Li." Sometimes I hate when he calls me that: *mistress*. It's so...queen like. I asked him once not to call me that, but he said that it is the rule: for him to call me - Mistress and Syaoran - Master.
"I can't wait to eat it." I said as I sat at the table. Syaoran was already there, sitting and reading newspaper. He didn't even bother to take a look at my side.
Syaoran and I didn't talk too much since three weeks ago. I personally think that it's the best for both of us. I need some space for my thoughts and he needs the space without me in it. I still have no idea how I've survived these past couple of weeks: seeing Syaoran everyday, living in the same house with him, knowing that it's all over, (not that there was anything to be over for). And also knowing that Sakura is the one, who's responsible for making Syaoran happy and blushed-faced.
I let out a deep loud sigh. Syaoran took his eyes away from the newspaper he was reading and looked at me.
"Meilin? Are you okay?" He said looking at me across the table.
"Yes, I am." No, I'm not.
"Then what's up with all the sighing?"
"Oh, just you know...school work, homework...," *YOU*... "I am kind of tired today, that's all." I smiled widely at him and he continued reading his newspaper. Syaoran can be such a fool sometimes, and I thank him for that; otherwise he would figure out that I am far from getting over him.
"All right, Master and Mistress Li let us begin our dinner ceremony." Said Wei and the three of us stood up in front of table. Syaoran put down his newspaper. I hate the pre-dinner ceremonies, but I am a Li clan member, so I have to follow them. The three of us started saying our speech:
"Oh the mighty Li clan, the mightiest of all clans, the most powerful clan of magic and wisdom shall be as powerful and strong bonded as it was centuries ago. Li clan, the clan which is free from enemies and sins shall be the ruler of magic on earth as it always was and always will be as so said the mightiest of them all: THE Clow Reed." I wanna die right now. This little speech is really getting on my nerves. The words haven't changed even a bit for the last two hundred years. I have no doubt that most of the Li clan members hate it too, but this speech is a tradition, and the "mighty" Li clan always follows the traditions.
The three of us sat in our chairs and began eating. No one spoke a word, which was very rare at our table. The silence was uncomfortable for all of us. Wei was very worried that something happened between me and Syaoran, but the old man didn't dare to ask us. He still decided to make us speak to each other.
"Master Li, how was your day?" Wei asked cautiously. Syaoran shrugged.
"Nothing much Wei. It was a regular day." Syaoran said and continued eating.
"And Mistress Li, how was your day?"
"Oh, mine was the same as Syaoran's, regular."
"I see..."
"How was your day, Wei?" I inquired.
"Everything went fine for me too. Master Li, has you magic improved yet?"
"I am working on it, but the school work leaves me less concentrated with my training. The new levels of magic are hard to control, so something always goes wrong with my spells." I sighed quietly at his comment. I wish I had magic to control over. It would help me to cast some kind of a spell to get over Syaoran. But I don't have any magic whatsoever and that's a shame.
"Do not worry, Master Li. I'm sure you'll improve shortly." Li nodded thankfully to Wei. The silence filled the room once more. I almost finished with my dinner and the torture of seeing Syaoran today, when Wei decided to continue the conversation. To my bad luck it had to be- "If I may ask, Master Li, how is you relationship with the Card Mistress going?"
Oh no.
Syaoran definitely did not expect this from Wei. His face turned deep crimson color and he gulped loudly.
"Well...I...we...I..." It was very uncomfortable for Syaoran to talk about him and Sakura with Wei and in front of – whom else, but me! I could tell he was getting nervous.
But the old man Wei didn't mean to ask "Master Li" about his love life. Wei only meant to ask Syaoran about his friendship with Sakura, because they weren't really good friends as a result of the Clow Cards quest's rivalry. It has been a while since The Final Judgment and Syaoran/Sakura friendship was progressing REALLY fast. They didn't have a reason to be rivals anymore. Syaoran however, took Wei's question differently: it might be because his dear "cherry blossom" is the only thing that's on his mind lately. Most likely it is.
"I...well...she...we are..." Syaoran mumbled quietly, still trying to make out the sentence and blushing furiously. Wei waited for him patiently.
That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit around here and listen about Syaoran's love life with Kinomoto! I have to find the way to get out of here. I suddenly got up from my chair startling them, and practically ran to the other side of our gigantic kitchen. What am I doing? I could feel Syaoran running after me. I don't really know what Wei did at that time.
"Meilin wait, I didn't mean to...-would you stop running?" I felt his hand pressed gently against my shoulder. I stopped and he turned me around looking me right into the eyes. I felt myself melting under his gaze, but kept it under control...just like I did a minute ago? Huh? What am I going to say to him? I can't let him think that I am a helpless little creature with strong feelings of never ending crush! "I'm sorry. I must have hurt your feelings," yeah, you MUST have. I kept myself silent. "I promise that I won't do it again. You're probably not over me yet, right? I'm so very sorry...Would you please return to the dining table?" he looked at me pleadingly. I still didn't say a word. I can't let him think that I'm weak, that I am a little...hey! I know what to do.
"Of course I will return to the table Syaoran," I heard him let out a relieved sigh. "right after I will wipe away that pool of water, which is dripping from the sink." I said in a *cool* voice.
"What?" he was surprised.
"That." I pointed my finger at the huge water puddle, which formed right beneath the kitchen sink. "I ran over there, because I wanted to quickly wipe up the water, that's all." I explained happily and smiled at him. Luck is on my side today. God bless this wonderful leaking sink! I am saved.
"Oh," he said "I thought that you got mad..."
"Syaoran," I interrupted him. "I thought I already told you that I am totally and completely over it." I am such a good liar! Applause to me!
"Oh," he said again "I'm sorry."
"No need for that, now would you help me with that huge pool of water?" Syaoran nodded.
"Master and Mistress Li, is everything ok?!" Wei called out for us from the other part of kitchen room. The kitchen was a double room. One half of it was meant for cooking and the other for eating.
"Yes!" we both answered back loudly enough so he could hear us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It has been a couple of hours after the dinner and I was in my room, sitting and staring at the wall in front of me with a blank face. Again. Gloomy me. I have nothing to do for the rest of the day anymore and it's too early to go to sleep.
Normally, I would practice martial arts with Syaoran at this time, but I haven't done this with him since he told me about Kinomoto and his "never-ending-love" towards her. It's better for me though, because I have to face him less than usual, which means I have less acting to do. It's been easy for me to act in front of him, like I'm crazy-happy all the time, but sometimes he can detect a sad note in my voice. Up until now I was able to hide my depression from him, and kill his suspicion with some cheesy comments, but I don't think it will last long. However, it might go either way. I'll get over him soon and my depression will fade away; either it will get worse and worse, until I will break down with tears right in front of him. Two ways, and to be honest, I fear it will be the second one.
I think Wei suspects that something isn't quite right with me, but I just talk to him once in a while and make him believe that everything couldn't be much better for me as it is. I hope he believes me; at least he looks like he does. I will try my hardest to keep up the "Happy-Meilin-Rae" spirit. It's better for everyone not to know. If I would act broken-hearted with Syaoran, then he and everybody else would worry about me all the time, and worse: they would all pity me until the end of my days. No, I don't want that.
I heard a quiet knock on my door. Oh no. I just know it's him, Syaoran. Even if Wei comes to my room more often than him, I can just feel that it's Syaoran. I can't explain it, but I know it.
"Meilin, can I come in?" double *oh no*. See? It's him – Syaoran. If he sees me staring at the wall like that, then I'm toast. Okay, okay, I will play the *I-have-a-life* game again.
I took a book, a pen and went to open the door. Click of the door and I see Syaoran staring at me with his killer amber eyes, which are starting to melt me down again.
"Yes?" I say, while pretending to be very interested in the book I'm carrying.
"Oh...I didn't know you were busy... sorry." Syaoran looked at me apologetically.
"Oh, don't worry; I'm not that busy. Come in." I waved him to come in and we both sat on the couch near my desk. "So...what did you...why did you..." I felt running out of words. I desperately wanted just to ask why did he come here, but that would be kind of rude, so I just silenced myself.
"Oh, I well...I came here to talk." *sit down kiddies, its time for THE TALK* I want to kill myself right now. The last thing I need is to talk to him at this very time.
"So...about what?" An innocent question usually brings to the execution itself.
"I'm not really sure about what, I just wanted to talk to you; do you mind?" Yes I do.
"No, not at all. Let's talk."
"Don't you think we haven't been talking a lot lately since you know...that day?" Oh, here it comes.
"Yes, we sure haven't..." I nodded furiously.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kill me, kill me now.
"I-uh, well...maybe; I don't know, do you?" How long can I keep this up? He shrugged his shoulders. HE SHRUGGED! I'm saved; maybe we don't have to talk about it! I'm saved!
"Well, actually," ...maybe not... "I wanted to discuss something with you about our engagement."
"What about it?"
"Well...since you know..." Syaoran paused for a moment, as if he was getting ready to give me the worst news of my life. "we need to break it off." he finally made out. That's when usually mountains collide.
"What?" ok, I am feeling dizzy now and my eyes beginning to mist – not a good sign. That is so very disturbing. Oh, Meilin, please don't start crying. When he'll leave you will cry as much as you want, but not now. Please not now.
"Meilin, are you ok?" DO I LOOK LIKE I'M OKAY? Hold it in, Meilin, hold it in.
"Sure, I am."
"Well, you don't look like you're okay." YA THINK?
"No, I mean yes, I am all right, I mean I was expecting this. Totally. I mean if we broke up that would mean...not that we were involved or anything...I h-have to go to the bathroom now, I think the dinner upset my stomach."...did I just do this? I quickly walked out of my room towards the bathroom. Syaoran was soundless. He kept still on the couch. Thank God he didn't go after me, or otherwise he would see me with lots of tears running down my face. He wants to break off our engagement? How pathetic was I thinking he wouldn't do that? And my reaction could have been better; at least in front if him. Now I will have to fully explain this act to him and to myself.
TO BE CONTINUED...
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So? How was it? I know, I usually like to leave you readers on a cliffhanger, but it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I'm thinking...5-7 chapters for this story. Dear pnkngrn3, thank you for dedicating a fanfic to me, I'm very honored. The next fic I'll write, it will be fully dedicated to you! People, please READ and REVIEW! So I would know if anybody read my story! This story won't be a lame one, I promise, because I don't do a "Soap Opera" type of fanfics. It will be intriguing and sweet. The whole idea of the story didn't even start yet. But it will in the next chapter. My dearest S+S fans! By the request of someone I know, I will write an S+S story too. But it will be later. Much later. So long everybody! BYE! READ & REVIEW!
Sincerely yours, cardcaptor girl!