Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters.

AN: This story is an AU. It may or may not continue depending on the response. I was considering just doing short stories of important moments in their lives but it's up to you. Let me know what you all think. Thanks.

At 16 years old Sam Winchesters stress levels were through the roof. All he ever wanted was to be normal but that obviously wasn't in the cards for him. Along with the difficulties that every teenager encountered; school, homework, dating, fitting in and over baring parents he had to deal with moving, training and hunting. Not to mention that other thing; the big thing. Well the only thing that was big on it at the moment was its mouth. It's big loud mouth. It obviously didn't care that Sam was nursing a headache and trying to study for mid-terms OR the fact that it was currently 1:30 in the morning. He sat at the small desk in the corner of the small bedroom that he and Dean shared, trying to get some studying done but it was proving to be a very difficult task. He figured that after living with John and Dean for so long he could study through anything but this was just too damn much.

He got up from his desk and walked into the dirty kitchen slamming his bedroom door behind him. He stomped into the room to find Dean sitting hunched over a stack of books with a few plates and cups scattered around him, he was doing research for their fathers next job. John was at a pool hall on the other side of town trying to make some extra cash. Dean was holding a coffee mug in one hand and his other was rocking a small blonde sitting in a car seat at his feet. The baby was the source of all of the current noise.

"Damn it Dean! Shut that thing up! I just can't take it anymore." Sam screamed over the wailing. Dean looked up sharply, he had dark circles under his eyes and exhaustion was written all of his face.

"Excuse me?" Dean replied with venom in his voice.

"Make it stop. I can't deal with it anymore. It's too fucking loud in here, make that thing shut up." Sam reached out a hand and swiped it across the table; a glass went flying and landed on the other side of the room with a loud shatter. The noise only made the baby cry even harder.

"First of all Sammy the baby's name is Lily…Not thing or it or her or anything else. Learn it. Second of all she is not MY responsibility…She's yours! You brought her into this world so why don't you take care of her…for once." Dean was at his wits end. Sam's daughter was 6 months old and Dean was the only one to ever take care of her. Sam went to school and Dean watched her during the day, after he came home from school he ignored her and if Dean had to leave the house he brought Lily with him. In 6 months Sam had only changed 2 diapers and held her a hand full of times. Dean was the one to feed her, bathe her and stay up with her at night and he was exhausted. He could feel his blood boiling when Sam yelled and knew he had to get out of there. Dean pulled on his jacket and headed for the front door. "You need to stop acting like a spoiled brat."

"Wait! Where are you going?!?! You can't just leave it here." The baby was still wailing and Sam panicked at the thought of being alone with her. Dean took one more glance at his niece and walked out the front door shutting it quietly behind him.

Sam looked at the door shocked that his brother had actually left. He looked from the door to the baby and back again twice before stepping over to the car seat and sitting in Deans now empty chair. She was red in the face from all of the screaming. Sam couldn't remember ever hearing noise like that coming from her in the 6 months that she had been alive. He didn't know much about her but he did know that she had been sick for the past week which was probably why she was in such a foul mood. Her fever was almost completely gone but she still had a heart wrenching cough. Every time she coughed it sounded like a seal was barking.

Sam peered over and took a closer look at the child. Green eyes, light blonde hair and a button nose. A cute kid by most standards not that he had much of a base of comparison. She was still screaming and Sam felt his anxiety jump. He ran his hands through his hair and pulled at the ends. He suckered in and picked her up; holding her awkwardly over his shoulder.

" Just be quiet. I don't know what you want. I need you to stop. Please stop. Please." Only that didn't help. Sam walked back and forth while patting her back, something he had seen his brother do so many times before. Only it wasn't working for him. He cradled her in his arms, checked her diaper, even tried to feed her but she kept wailing. All of the patience that Sam had left was gone. He was anxious and angry….very angry. He held her out in front of him and yelled.

"Shut the hell up! I can't take it anymore! Just shut the fuck up!" Sam didn't notice that every time he yelled his arms were involuntarily shaking the baby. The moment he realized that he had given her a slight jerk he felt sick to his stomach. In health class they learned how fragile babies actually were. They saw a demonstration of an egg in a glass jar-shaken baby syndrome. She was still crying so Sam put her into the portable crib, he swiped the back of his hands over his eyes to get rid of the frustrated moisture that had slipped out. He whispered sorry and slipped out the front door.

Sam leaned heavily against the metal railing on the front porch. He could hardly hear the baby with the door shut but knew that she was still screaming. Sam breathed in and out trying to calm down before going back inside for round two.

He knew that no damage had been caused by the light shake but he was mostly just surprised that he lost control so quickly. He had no idea how Dean did it.

Now that Dean was over 18 it was easier for their family to stay in one place longer without CPS sniffing around. Dean, as a legal adult, could be responsible for his younger brother. They stayed in Smyrna, GA long enough for Sam to get his girlfriend pregnant. After the first few weeks he told John and Dean about the accident and its consequences, he also informed them that they were keeping the baby. Rachel, the baby's mother had been the one to convince Sam to keep the child but as her due date grew closer she changed her mind and after giving birth legally signed all of her parental rights of the child over to Sam.

Aside from wanting to keep the child Sam wanted nothing to do with her.

After standing outside for a few moments Sam felt himself relax and he walked back into the apartment. Lily was still in the crib crying. Her throat sounded raw and painful, Sam picked her up and brought her into their cramped bathroom and shut the door behind him. He opened the shower curtain and turned the hot water on full blast instantly steaming the confined space.

He cradled her around his chest and swung his hips back and forth while patting a hand on her back to help clear up the congestion, he remembered his brother doing this for him years earlier when he had bronchitis. It only took a few minutes for her to settle down and he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. She was finally calm and in the process of falling asleep so he leaned his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting. The shower was still running and he was sweating but he only cared that she was asleep.

Sam sat on the bathroom thinking about how crazy this night had been when he heard the bathroom door click open. He looked up expecting Dean but was surprised to find John slip inside. He left the door open and turned off the shower. Sam noticed that John looked worse for the wear; it had been a long night for everyone.

Sam shifted his daughter so she was facing John, waiting to hand her off but his father surprised him by sliding down the wall next to him. Sam pulled the baby back into his chest and she squirmed a moment before settling back into him. He rested his own head against his father's shoulder. They sat in silence for a few moments with John stroking a hand lightly over Sam's head while gazing at his granddaughter.

"What happened?" John whispered quietly.

"I made a mistake, dad. I can't do this. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't be a dad." His voice was so defeated John worried about his boy. He feared this was all too much for him.

"Tell me what happened, son."

Sam recapped the events that had transpired that evening. He only questioned Sam's decision to bring her into the bathroom. How did his son know that was a good idea?

"She was just coughing so badly. It helped. She stopped crying a little while ago. "

"You did good Sammy." His father pulled his shoulder and hugged him tightly. Sam actually laughed out loud.

"I was so mad, I could have killed her. I've ruined everything. I keep pulling everyone apart. I've got a baby that I can't take care of; you have to work alone because Dean is too busy looking after her. She's supposed to be my responsibility but I can't do this. Dad, I have to give her back." He said with his voice cracking.

"Give her back to who Sam?"

"I don't know. Rachel."

"You can't do that Sam. Rachel gave her up. She doesn't have the right to take care of her, legally. You have to either give her up for adoption or keep her. This isn't something that you should jump into. You need to think about this long and hard. It's the biggest decision that you'll ever have to make." John knew that Sam needed to take responsibility and this was the time to make that decision.

"Someone will adopt her?" He said with tears falling down his cheeks. He kept looking from his daughter to his father.

"Maybe. She'll become a ward of the state. She'll either get adopted or go to live in foster care until she's 18. Sam, if you decide to give her up then you will never see her again. Are you prepared for that? Would you be able to live with that decision for the rest of your life?" Sam thought about it for a moment. Lily let out a big yawn and Sam smiled down at her.

"She looks like you. Same dimples." John said.

"I never meant to do this to us. I never thought about the consequences."

"Everybody makes mistakes. You just have to live with the consequences for the rest of your life. But this could be the best mistake you ever made in your life. I love you boys more than anything but it was never easy, especially doing it alone after your mother died. But it was worth it."

"Did you ever think about giving us away? Or letting the state take us away?"

"Nope. There were times when they wanted to take you because they didn't believe that I was a good father but I would never let them. I love you boys more than anything. You guys are my world. Sam, you may not realize this yet but your children are the most important things in the world and I think that if you gave it a try. An honest to god hard try that you would understand that. You might still be a teenager but I think you can do this."

At that moment they both turned their heads when they heard the front door open and close again. Dean was home. He called out to Sam feeling guilty about leaving him at the worst moment possible.

"We're in here!" John called out from the bathroom floor. When Dean walked in he raised an eyebrow at the scene before him. John shook his head indicating not to ask so instead he leaned down to pick up the baby still asleep in her fathers' arms.

"Here Sammy. I'll put her to bed."

Sam looked down and kissed his baby's forehead and smiled up at his dad. "That's ok. I'll put her to bed tonight."

*The End*