All I Want For Christmas is My Babyboy
Sum: After a fight at a party, things go bad to worse for Adam and Tommy Grab tissues!
So Santa gave me an early Xmas gift, an idea for a new Adommy fic, kinda dark and dreary, but that's what I write.
(PS PINK SQUID LITTLE STOCKING STUFFER FOR YOU! The girl who taught me not everything is a happy ending! Thanks girly you been so awesome!)
Okay, maybe it was my fault mostly okay maybe all of it was my fault. If you ask any of the other band members they would say the argument, okay we'll say fight between me and Adam during the party after the last show of the tour was my fault.
See for the past year or so I've been tour with Adam Lambert and his group, meeting him changed my life! Besides the fact I was pretty much almost homeless before I met him, it changed everything about me my whole sex drive became out of whack.
I got so many confusing sexual emotions just by hanging out with Adam, practically living with the man on the bus, sleeping with him in hotels, yeah even sometimes in the same bed, no we didn't have sex the hotels would always mess up our room order, most of them knew us and decided to play a joke on us.
But yeah I ended up questioning my own sexual desires. I even stayed up late once looking up ways to tell if you're gay on the Internet, but that was so fucking confusing as hell!
Fuck I'm still asking myself questions and that's what got me in trouble with Adam, and well the whole band.
* * * * *
It was the night of our last show. We were all pumped, ready to celebrate before we go our separate ways for a long time. One of Adams friends was throwing us a party invited a bunch of people and we were all having a good time, it was people Adam hasn't seen in months, his old crowd before he went on tour, however with all his friends there Adam kept smiling at me through the whole party. I flirted back.
We have this thing, we flirt together on stage, sometimes off, sometimes we even date when go to bars or clubs, but we done nothing sexual together ever. I would be lying if I said I didn't find the man attractive, Adam is very sexy, but I am straight... aren't I? I mean I like women, just because I let Adam kiss me and touch me on stage and God help me I do love it, doesn't mean I don't love women.
I was drinking my third cup of vodka getting a little tipsy already. I was dancing a little with Cammy and Adam's friend Allison, even danced with Taylor through a few songs, I mean it was a party we were all letting loose. We'd been cramped up in the freaking tour bus for months.
Taylor put his arms around me and we started dancing closer.
"Tommy babe you dance divinely" he teased.
"Oh Taylor honey so don't you, but it could be that I'm drunk." I laughed.
"Oh shut up Tommy Joe, I'm being nice here."
Next thing I knew Taylor kissed my lips. I learned to accept it when men kiss me, Taylor Green is also someone I've been touring with, so it wasn't like I just let men kiss me.
"Mmmhmm tasting good babyboy."
Taylor and me danced a few more times, kissed a few more times before I went to have another drink.
I went outside to catch some fresh air, even though it was beginning of winter, a few weeks till Christmas. Soon I'll be home with my mom and my sister and visit family. First time I can say I couldn't wait for Christmas. First time I could say I had money to shop for my family and friends back home. Last few Christmas I didn't have money for that kind of stuff, now, thanks to Adam I did. The only thing I felt bad about was I didn't know what to get him for Christmas. I mean the man has everything.
I was outside for maybe ten or so minutes nursing my cup when Cammy came out.
"Tommy you got to get back in there, Adam seems pretty upset."
"What… what happened?"
"He saw you and Taylor dancing together."
"So what? why would he be upset over that? Ive danced with Taylor before."
"Tommy, he heard you calling him babyboy... I think he got hurt by that… you need to talk to him."
"Shit I did?"
She nodded "I don't even realize... oh god…"
I just pushed my drink away and went into the house. I first went to find Taylor.
"Hey baby, want another dance?"
"Tay. Answer me, please… did I call you babyboy?"
Taylor grinned "yeah, but don't worry I know Adam's your babyboy."
"I just wanted to make sure those were the exact words I used. Taylor, I'm sorry I…"
"He's in the room down the hall."
I just nodded and went down the hall to talk to him. "Adam?" I knocked lightly on the door
"Just go away ok? I'm ok, I just don't feel well, I have a headache, I went to rest a bit"
"Tough shit, you telling me your sick isn't going to get me to go away, now let me in or ill kick the door down."
"God… fine… what…"
I could instantly tell he was crying. "Can we talk, please?"
"Tommy, I don't feel good what do you want?"
"Cam, she told me why your upset, but I don't get why?"
"I'm not upset, just go back to the party ok? Go back to Taylor, your babyboy ok leave me alone.."
"You're mad because I gave him the nick name I use for you?"
"It doesn't matter ok?"
"Damn it, it does matter if you're this fucking upset"
"Why do you need Cam to tell you I'm even upset?"
"Adam, I'm not getting you…"
"That's it right there! You're not!"
"This whole time you tell me your fucking straight bull shit! You just don't want me!"
"What? Adam..."
"Go out with Taylor! At least be fucking truthful about it! At least when you met me I was out and honest about it."
"I don't have any interest in Taylor! Not like that!"
"That's why you were kissing him in front of everyone! And you don't even care.."
"I'm trying to understand why your upset… I danced with him before, kissed him before why are you upset?"
"Because you gave him my nickname"
"So you are upset over that… that's all?"
"You have no idea that I feel special when you call me that do you? Or do you call all your boyfriends that!"
"Ok you know what! I don't have a fucking boyfriend! Any of them! I don't even remember calling him that… so it doesn't mean anything!"
"Just like it didn't mean anything when you called me that… thanks a fucking lot! Maybe if you didn't drink so much you would remember stuff!"
"Ok… I'm leaving… I'm so glad this tour is over so we don't have to see each every damn day!"
"You must be drunk if your swearing this much"
"So now I'm a drunk too? Good night Mr. Lambert, have a nice party! I'm leaving! Pardon me for coming back to apologize! Oh by the way Merry Fucking Christmas!" I just left the party, knowing I got bunch of stars, I even herd Cammy calling name but I totally ignored it. I was so happy I would not be seeing Adam tomorrow morning. Thank fucking GOD!
I got into my car and went home.
I was still royally pissed off, I turned my radio on wanting the music to heal the anger. Of course my stupid luck first thing I heard was "Sleepwalker"
"Fuck that!" i changed the station. I felt the alcohol taking over my body and my eyes started blinking. I also felt water coming from my eyes, I didn't realize that I was crying. "Fucking asshole" I mumbled.
Why did I let Adam words hit me so hard? Why do I even fucking care?
"Because you fucking love him you idiot!" I heard my voice telling me, ok I must have drank way too much to hear my own mind talking to me. Or to be talking to myself.
I also didn't realize how slippery the streets were getting and with the mixture of alcohol I had I couldn't focus on the wheel very well.
I heard voices around me this time not in my head, which was a good sign, bad sign was I couldn't move, I couldn't wake up, I couldn't do anything! My mind was freaking out because I recognized the voices!
"Why won't he wake up? For me? Why did he do this to himself?" That was Adam… my Adam! MY BABYBOY!
"The Dr. said he his head pretty hard when he crashed. The roads were icy that night baby..." That was Cammy…
WHAT WHERE THEY TAYLKING ABOUT! They knew I hated being talked about if I were in the same room. I'm Right here guys! I can hear you!
Thing that hurt most was I heard Adam crying.
"I love him guys... I'm may never get to tell him myself..."
"don't even think like that Adam!"
CAMMY DONT FUCKING YELL AT HIM!
I'm here babyboy I'm here.. don't cry… but I couldn't open my mouth. I love you Adam...
Soon the voices stopped I didn't hear anyone not even Adam's I realized it was because I was in a different place now. I wasn't in my body anymore and wasn't sure where I was. I was scared I wanted Adam I didn't like it here.
I heard another voice calling me.
"Thomas..?"
Only one person ever called me that… my father "da…dad?"
I turned around and saw him, he's been gone for a while now, but I never got over losing him. I ran over to him and got to hug him tightly.
"I'm sorry dad!"
"Don't be sorry Thomas. It was an accident. You didn't do anything too cause it. SO he's letting you go back and fix things, but you can only go back one day and that's it."
"I don't understand?"
"When I came here I was able to go back for a day and fix things so your mother can still provide for everything now you can go back, however they won't remember you were there but they will know that you're ok and things between you two will be okay."
"Between who?"
"Thomas, come now, don't tease me. I know you have things you need to settle between you and Adam. I've been watching you trying to guide you. Now you need to go and fix things."
I nodded I was still scared of being there but I was glad my dad was there.
"When do I go back?" I asked, still not fully understand things.
"You have to go back soon time is faster up here. Now will be best time its Christmas Eve there."
I just nodded "how do I know when to come home?"
"I'll come get you Thomas… go on."
I was surprised how everything changed within a few weeks when I came back. I found myself in Adam's apartment, or what was apartment. It was messy and totaled, not like Adam to be messy person, always well organized, but not this place. Dishes were on the counter take-out food containers on the floor, clothes everywhere. Something told me to go to his room although I was afraid what to find.
I went into his room, still trashed, CD's everywhere, lights off, just a crack of sunlight peeking through. His pet snake Ebony hasn't looked like he's been fed. He used to have a huge mirror over his table with pictures of his friends, the bands, us on tour, but it was gone.
It was there I found his journal opened up.
Dear life,
You took my Glitter baby away from me! WHY! Now I'm taking my life away from me! I would have fixed things I fucked up again! You never give me another chance! -Adam
I started to cry god... "ADAM!" I raced to his bathroom to find Adam on the floor there was a lot of blood sipping out from his wrist
I felt he wasn't breathing! "noo noo babyboy noo!" i grabbed a towel and quickly, cleaned up gently kissing his lips. As I touched his arm I noticed his scar was healing and felt he was started to breathe again. I was still crying.
"Adam… baby.."
"Tommy? How?"
"Shhhh… Please know I'll always be watching you, don't ever do this to yourself."
"I thought you hated me"
"I could never hate my babyboy"
"But you left me… you said.."
"I'm here now…"
"But your dead? How?"
"I'm here now" I repeated.
"I Love you…"
I held onto his scare for a bit longer till I saw it was completely gone and Adam breathed normally again. I picked him up and carried him to his room and laying him on the bed. I moved the clothes out of the way putting the covers over him.
"Sleep baby…" I ran my hand over Adam's face. I was glad he was there in time to save him.
"When you wake up you won't remember me being here, but you'll be ok, you be the Adam I know and love again, you know I'm always with you. You know I love you so much" I felt sad but I couldn't cry, but my heart broke having to leave him. "Once you're in, you own my heart, never forget that" I smiled. I watched him sleep long as I could before I had to go. I then kissed him gently one more time before I had to go. There we're so much I wanted to say to him, so much I wanted to do with him, to see with him, to explore with him. I never told him I loved him! But I can say I saved his life.