Summary. She is afraid to tell him she loves him, because she's scared he'll go away. But what if that's just he reason he would go?

01. Fight

It wasn't like we never fought, we did. But this time something was different. It wasn't about the dirty laundry, or which television programme we should watch. No, it was much worse. We were standing in front of each other, with faces red from all the anger and shouting. His dark brown hair was all over the place, because of all the times he ran his hands through it. My head was almost hurting from the way my face was twisted in anger.

'Why can't you just tell me where you go all the time? Whenever Sam calls, you immediately run out of the house. Why?' His voice almost sounded desperate. Angry, but desparate. He wouldn't think-?

'You don't think I'm having a affair with Sam, do you?' I asked to be sure. The way he didn't answer me, was enough to tell me what he was thinking.

'How in the world could you think something like that? You know we broke up years ago! I am with you now, not with him!' Now it was my voice that sounded desperate.

'I don't know what to think anymore. If you could just tell me the-'

'The truth?' I interrupted. 'I can't tell you that. Why can't you just trust me? I'm your girlfriend.' Suddenly, I felt a wave of nausea coming up, but I tried to ignore it.

'And I'm your boyfriend! I try to trust you, but you are making it a bit difficult, with all your little secrets.'

I pushed back the vomit that treated to come out before shouting, 'Well, then maybe it's time for you to go. For us to stop being boyfriend and girlfriend.' I was shaking with anger, my hands tightly balled up in fists.

For a few seconds he closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face, he opened his eyes and looked me right in the eye, I felt like he could see right into my soul. Then he nodded slowly, grabbed his coat and walked out of the door.

The moment I heard the door close, I ran to the bathroom and threw up all the things I had eaten that day.

Never in my whole life had I ever felt so miserable. Not when Sam left me, or when my Dad died, not even when I turned into an enormous beast for the first time, or anytime after. Right now, I was laying on the bathroom floor, my stomach emptied from all its contents. And, although I would never admit it, tears were streaming down my face.

The last time I had been sick, was when I was turning into a werewolf. And now I even felt worse. Oh wait, I didn't even explain that part. Well, here we go! I was already in the middle of a little cry fest, why not make it a bit worse?

I am Leah Clearwater. My life has always been very normal. I lived with my father, mother and (annoying!) little brother Seth in a reserve called La Push. Everybody knew each other, which was kind of nice as a little kid, because you knew you would always be save, but was less fun when we became older, I'm sure you understand.

But, things started to change in the reserve when I was around 18 years old. A few guys, among them my ex-boyfriend Sam, started to grow taller. And not just grow, but grow. It was like they were on steroids. They would disappear for a few weeks, and when they came back, they were huge.

Sam and I met each other at school. I had a huge crush on him for a few months, so when he asked me out, I couldn't wait to say yes! At first we went slow, because we were kind of young, 15. But after a while, we couldn't ignore how much we lo- liked­ the other, and we became more serious. I even let myself think about marriage. And then it happened.

When Sam disappeared, I was sick with worry. Instantly I was searching the whole reserve for him. After two weeks he came back, and I knew somthing had changed. He had grown almost two feet and was mucht more muscled (not that he wasn't before, but it was just not that- obvious). He never told me what happened, and I was almost afraid to ask. For a few weeks everything went, well not fine, but it was okay. We kind of ignored it.

Every holiday I would visit my cousin Emily, or she would came to me. Because I didn't want to leave Sam, I asked her to come to my house this holiday. I was looking forward to seeing Emily again, since we were like sisters. We even looked a bit alike. On the second day of Emily's visit, I asked Sam to join us for supper, so he could meet Emily. The minute he stepped over the threshold, his eyes were drawn to Emily's face. She blushed under his fierce gaze. My heart stopped. The kind of look he used while watching her, was the same I had recieved from him, but then even a little bit intenser.

This was exactly what I was afraid of, why I hadn't introduced them to the other earlier. Even though we looked alike, Emily was a much more beautiful version of me. All the guys wanted to go out with her, not with boring little me. So when Sam, the love of my life- or something- fell for her, it was like I was hit by a train.

At first I pretended that nothing had happend. I put on a smile for the rest of the evening, and was the perfect host to Emily during her stay. But inside I felt like screaming, crying, punching someone.

Sam and Emily didn't meet again, or so I thought. But when I came back from grocerie shopping with my Mum one afternoon, they were there, in our living room, kissing.

My chest hurt so bad, but I could still manage to scream at them to get the –not so nice word- out of my house. They sprang apart, with shocked looks on their faces, but no real regret could be found there. I quickly ran away to my bedroom to cry on my bed, in the living room I could hear my mother tell them that they best go somewhere else.

After I woke up the morning after, with a headache from all the crying, I promised myself to never cry over a man again.

For a few months I lived like a depressed teenager. My family tried to cheer me up, but after a few weeks my parents gave up. Seth, my little brother didn't, and although I would never admit it to him of anyone else, I'm very grateful for that.

When the news came about Emily being mauled by a bear, somewhere deep in my heart, I couldn't help but laugh evilly, karma's a bitch. I heard one side of her face had three scars running down to her arm.

But, next to that place deep down in my heart, another part of me was crying for her. We had shared everything with each other when we were young, we were like sisters. This was something you wouldn't even wish your greatest enemy.

And then something else happened. Both Seth and I hadn't been feeling all that great for a few days. On one day, all of a sudden we became very sick. We had a high fever and our bones ached, like they where growing too fast. I would never have guessed what happened next: we turned into huge wolves. It was a big shock, I can tell you that!

The shock was even so great, that my father suffered from a heart attack, and died. So, in a few days I became a werewolf and did my father die. It wasn't a very good week, and it made me even more depressed and bitter.

One night, the week after Seth and I had turned in to wolves for the first time, Sam and Old Quil, one of the council leaders, came to visit us. They told us all about the legends and other things about werewolves.

One of the points was the pack. And Sam was the Alpha, the leader. God, did I wanted to die right there! My ex, being my boss? Even under normal circumstances I didn't deal well with authority.

Another thing was the mind reading-business. Apparently we could hear each other's thoughts when we were in wolfform. It only got better!

The tribal Elders, couldn't figure out why I had turned in to a wolf. It seemed that I was the first and only wolf in history. Talk about a freak of nature!

At the end of the evening I was seriously considering killing myself. But, I didn't want to be cruel to Mum and Seth, so I decided I shoudn't. Not then anyway.

It turned I loved be a wolf. Well, no, that's not completely true. I loved being free, when being a wolf. All the mind reading, Alpha, infertile- issues, I could do without. Infertile? Yes, when I transformed, I stopped menstruating too (sorry, but while I'm sharing all my dirty little secrets, this can be added to the list too. I don't have much shame of privacy anyways). So, no little puppies for me. That part actually hurt a bit. It wasn't like I couldn't wait to become a mother, but I had envisioned myself with children.

That night, they also told me about Sam and Emily. It was hard to keep my tears form falling down at that point, but I managed to do it. Sam had imprinted on her. When a wolf imprints, he has found his soul mate. Nothing or nobody matters, only his imprint. So even when he loved me, he couldn't help but loving Emily more. And it turned out that he was the one that had attacked her, he had lost his control while she was too close to him. For a short couple of minutes, my heart ached for her.

Luckily I quickly regained my focus, and started hating the happy couple again.

But, back to the situation at hand. The nausea had ebbed away, while the tears couldn't stop. The only thing I could hear were my ragged breath and raw sobs. I had just broken my own promise to never cry about a man. Bugger.

It's actually really weird that I'm sick, because werewolves don't get sick. Ever. We heal fast. If I cut my writs now, tomorrow nobody would see a wound or even a scar.

That's not a bad idea, slitting your wrists, isn't it?

OK, now I'm also talking to myself in an annoying little voice. It's almost like I'm in wolf form and one of my packbrothers is thinking. You have no idea what kind of things teenaged boys think. It's quite disturbing, I can tell you that!

Wait, I think I know why I'm feeling sick. Because I just broke up with my imprint. Yes, my imprint. It wasn't something I ever expected to happen to me, but it did. At this point I'm not even sure I'm happy it happened.

The house a little down the road from ours, had been empty for a few years. It was probably because the old owner had laid there for a couple of days, dead. Everybody was surprised to see a moving van with guys lifting stuff to the house one day in spring. The rumor was that there would be living a young man, only a couple years older than myself. He also was a Native American, like the Quilleutes, but from another tribe. Of course, I wasn't really expecting him to be- well, you know.

And when I went to the bonfire which had been organized to welcome him to our reserve, I had the shock of my life. Then, when I had seen him, my eyes wouldn't leave his face, and I couldn't stop thinking about him. I was fascinated by the way his eyes sparkled, the shininess of his smooth hair, I loved how the fire cast shadows on his dark skin.
Everytime I thought of him, my heart would start beating fast and my breath would come in short gasps.

After that evening, I avoided Christian, which is his name, for the month that followed. If I saw him walking down the street, I would run into the forest and in the grocerie store I hid behind my mother (which didn't really work, obviously). I was praying he hadn't seen me, not just because I was trying to make this imprint-thing to go away, but also because I didn't want to make myself look like a fool in front of him.

Naturally, the pack knew all about me imprinting. When we were in wolf form they would think about their meetings with him, in human form they made kissing noises and stuff. Luckily werewolves heal fast, otherwise all their noses would have looked funny for a long time.

Then there was one moment, where I couldn't ignore him. My mother had invited him to dinner. I tried to come up with all kinds of excuses, but my mother wouldn't have it. I had to be there.

During supper I sat stiffly on my chair, barely eating, which is quite rare for werewolves, seeing as we have super fast metaboslisms. Sometimes I saw his eyes staring at me from the corner of my eye, but when I turned my head in his direction, Christian would look away.

At the end of the evening, my brother disappeard to go patrolling and my mother decided to head to bed early. I could hit myself on the head; they had planned this!

First I was very nervous, very unlike me. Slowly we started talking and in the end it felt kind of... natural. We talked about our families, our dreams (I pretend I still had all the options, while in reality, those had all been thrown away when I had transformed the first time), it felt good. So when he asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him the next day, I eagerly accepted.

It didn't take long for us to become more serious, I even moved in with Christian after a year of dating. There was only one problem, I couldn't tell him about my being a wolf and all the things around it. That caused some fights between us, but next to that, everything had been perfect for over two years.

Oh wait, no, there was another problem too, while he said I love you quite often, I couldn't. I knew I loved him, but I couldn't say it. That also didn't sit well on him.

So lately there had been some tension. And now it was over. God, that made me need to vomit again.

This is my (first) Leah/OC story. I really like Leah and it's sad she wasn't that much in the Twilight series.
English isn't my first language (Dutch is, if you're interested) so there may be a few mistakes. I hope you will forgive of correct me when I'm wrong.
I hope you enjoyed it, and please review!