This Pain You Gave to Me, a csi fanfic

Title: This Pain You Gave to Me

Author: Viggorrah

Disclaimer: The song belongs to Puddle of Mudd and the characters belong to CBS.

Setting: Post-Series, after the show ends

A/N: There's a Main Character Death in here. Don't like, don't read.

Also, I recently updated this story; had to change the dog's name to Hank.

Everything's so blurry

And everyone's so fake

And everybody's empty

And everything is so messed up

She sat on the edge of her bed, hugging a pillow against her body. Her eyes were red and swollen; tears were running down her face. Sobs had racked her body for the last few hours.

Pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

She had been sitting there ever since she had gotten home from the Lab that morning. It was hard going to work for her that day: it was the one-year anniversary of the most tragic event of her adult life.

You could be my someone

You could be my scene

It shouldn't have happened.

The suspect had drawn a knife on them while they were at his house, collecting evidence from him. He had attacked him first, throwing him off to the side. Then, he had been coming towards her and she had closed her eyes to prepare herself for the pain that was about to assault her body.

You know that I'll protect you

From all of the obscene

It never came.

I wonder what you're doing

Imagine where you are

The pillow she was holding still emanated his scent, even after he had been gone this long. She longed for him to be lying by her side again, to be gently kissing her and caressing her cheek.

There's oceans in between us

But that's not very far

Tears started falling one after the other. She squeezed his pillow even more and brought her face down into it, covering it in the wetness of her tears.

Can you take it all away?

'Why did it have to be you?'

Well, ya shoved it in my face

This pain you gave to me

'Why couldn't have been me?'

Can you take it all away?

'Why did you have to save me?'

Well, ya shoved it in my face

"Why did you have to die?" She whispered. She shut her eyes as the memories came back to her.

Everyone is changing

There's no one left that's real

She opened her eyes when she heard his pained gasp. She came face to face with him; he had protected her from the attack. She slowly looked down and saw the tip of the knife sticking out of his stomach. The attacker took his knife out of his stomach, and another gasp escaped his lips. Blood slowly flowed out of his mouth and, after for what seemed like an eternity, he collapsed to the hardwood floor.

So make up your own ending

And let me know just how you feel

"NOO!" She screamed and fell to her knees beside him.

'Cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

The attacker dropped the bloody knife, and took a few steps back from the two criminalists. He hadn't meant for this to happen.

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

His eyes were tightly shut; blood was seeping out of his stomach and through his fingers.

You could be my someone

You could be my scene

"Look at me," She placed her hand on his cheek. "Grissom, look at me."

"Sara.." He choked out.

You know that I will save you

From all of the unclean

"You're gonna be okay, Grissom." She said frantically. "You're gonna be okay."

"I-I'm not going t-to-"

"Yes, you are! Just hang on...please..."

I wonder what you're doing

I wonder where you are

Hank, their dog, wandered into the room and over next to her. Sara looked at him with glassy eyes. She knew he couldn't possibly know why she was crying the way she was…

There's oceans in between us

But that's not very far

…but she knew missed he missed his master just as much as she did.

Can you take it all away?

She slowly swung her arm out, and Hank jumped onto the bed and sat beside her.

Well, ya shoved it in my face

This pain you gave to me

Sara wrapped her arm around the dog, who whimpered in response.

Can you take it all away?

"I know, Boy," She coughed once as a result of crying for such a long time.

Well, ya shoved it in my face

This pain you gave to me

"I miss him too."

Nobody told me what you thought

No one told me what to say

"I…love you…Sara." She looked at him through her tearing eyes.

"I know, Gil." She kissed him lightly on his lips. "I know."

Everyone showed you where to turn

Told you where to run away

She felt so helpless.

Even though his and her hands were on the wound, the blood was still flowing. She couldn't stop it.

Nobody told you where to hide

Nobody told you what to say

"Sara, I'm sorry…" He coughed up some blood before he reached out and caressed her cheek.

"Gil, don't-" She grabbed his hand on her cheek with both of hers. "Don't leave me. Please…"

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "I'm not going to make it..."

Everyone showed you where to turn

Showed you when to run away

"Don't talk like that!" She tried to reason with him as she gazed into his cloudy eyes. He gave her a tired, but weak smile.

"As long as I know you're safe, Sara..." She squeezed his hand.

"No. Gil.." She said in a wobbly warning tone. "D-don't."

"I love you…"

Can you take it all away?

By this time, Sara had lain down on her side on his side of the bed.

Well, ya shoved it in my face

This pain you gave to me

Large sobs racked her body and Hank was lying right next to her, not knowing what else to do.

Can you take it all away?

She continued to cry until she fell asleep, curled up in the fetal position and still holding his pillow. Stray tears fell down her cheek.

Well, ya shoved it in my face

This pain you gave to me

His eyes closed, and she was to never see those beautiful blue orbs ever again. She cried into his chest, and listened to his fading heartbeat…

This pain you gave to me…

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

You take it all

Slower…

You take it all away...

Thump…Thump…Thump…

This pain you gave to me

Slower…

You take it all away

Thump…Thump…

This pain you gave to me

Silence.

You take it all away

She rose up to look up to his face: eyes were closed; head was turned away from her; blood had stopped flowing out the corner of his mouth.

He was gone.

This pain you gave to me…

"I love you…Gil…"

A/N: I am SO sorry for killing Grissom! Usually I wouldn't do that, but I just felt as though I needed to for the song to work better. Bad Vigg!