A/N- So here is my first chapter. I don't know how this is going to go, but I hope you guys enjoy the , an important thing as well, just trust me.

Disclaimer- I unfortunately do not own the rights to Castle. Maybe some day.

Kate Beckett stepped out of her Charger and looked across the street. She saw him sitting on the swings, his back to her. Her hands were sweaty, and her body was shaking. Her heart was beating a mile a minute.

Could she really do this?

Before she could second guess herself, she looked both ways then crossed the street to have the toughest conversation in her life.

She walked up to the swing set and sat down opposite the way he was facing. He didn't acknowledge her presence; he didn't make any movement when she approached. He was so hurt; he couldn't even look at her.

Here we go, she thought.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept secrets," she finally spoke.

"It's who you are. You don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch." He still wouldn't look at her. Why wouldn't he just look at her?

No. She didn't think she could finish if his deep, blue eyes held onto hers.

"You're right. I don't let people in. I bury everything inside of me, and it consumes me, just like my mother's case did." She was so close to breaking at every word that came out of her mouth. He heard it in her voice.

"Kate," he started. Still no eye contact.

"Let me finish," she pleaded. He closed his mouth. "I've been doing a lot of thinking. About my life, about you, about us, about what I want, and so much more." She paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and dove in. "I've decided to take the job."

She saw Castle suck in, saw a shift in his features. God, she can't do this.

She continued. "I love you. God, I love you so much, Castle. But this is my shot, and if I don't take it, I'm gonna regret it." By now, the tears were already sliding down her cheeks. "I want you to come with me though. I don't want you to leave me. I know it would be tough, but we can make it work. I know we can. And I know this will take time to get over, but-"

"No." One simple word slammed into her chest. He finally turned to face her. "Do you really think that would work? I have friends and family here, too. Yes, I'm a writer, and I can write from anywhere I want pretty much, but that's not the point here." His voice rose, and she could feel the anger start to pour out of him. "The point is, you chose a job over me. A job." He yelled. "I love you, Kate. I spent 4 years chasing after you, and now that I can finally call you mine, it's all going to be thrown away?" He got off the swing and towered over her now.

"We could make it work," she stammered. She expected to hurt, but not like this. She never imagined she would hurt like this again.

"Like hell we would, Kate! If I went with you, I would still never see you. The job would take over your life, and I'd just be sitting on the sidelines. You know there'd be so many secrets from the job that you would never be able to share with me." He knew he was being selfish. He knew she loved him, but he couldn't accept the secrets she'd have to keep. She'd already kept her feelings from him for who knows how long, and he thought all the secrets would finally be over. Guess not.

He waited for her to say something, but she was speechless. The look on her face broke his heart even more, but he couldn't get past the wall of hurt. "You know, I can't even blame you for your decision because it's your dream. I could never keep you from your dreams, Kate." He shook his head. He can't look at her, couldn't be around her. If he stayed any longer, his hurt from seeing her like this would make him take it all back, but he couldn't do that. Not after this. With nothing else to say, he walked away from the love of his life.

She tried calling out his name, but it got lost in her throat. She buried her face in her hands and her body quivered from the intensity of her sobs. She looked up, praying that he didn't really leave, that he was still here and was waiting to take her in his arms.

But he's nowhere to be seen. "What have I done?" she whispered.

I know the chapter is not long, but I was kind of testing the waters. I hope you guys still enjoyed it. Feel free to leave a review!