Unspoken Rules (For Being a Marauder)
ie. The Marauder's Code
by bel_unleashed
They weren't really decided upon by anyone in particular, and it wasn't like they were discussed or confirmed – but they didn't need to be. They all knew them anyway. That's what made them Unspoken. Like how Lily belonged to James – in the least objectifying, derogatory way, of course. Even Sirius, who maintained his aloof-but-charming act for the majority of Hogwarts, made an exception for Lily – which, incidentally, was probably why she never understood what girls saw in him, and instead wound up rolling her eyes and tutting every time they swooned. And you never point out how many times he had been rejected, even if it was some ridiculous number like, say, 537... But that's just an example.
You can never let anyone but a Marauder call you by your nickname. That's just blasphemy. And if a teacher – or Lily, in one of her nosy moods (which don't exist, according to James) – wants to know what the nicknames mean, or why James bought Sirius flea shampoo for his birthday, or why Snape is tied up in a cupboard on the third floor, then you have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER. (And you never will, so there's no point asking later.)
If you're about to say anything about pureblood families, dark creatures or differing sexuality... DON'T.
Barring children, someone will only be accepted as an Honorary Marauder when they understand the Unspoken Rules without being told about them, because that would completely defeat The Point (whatever that is).
Never touch James' collection of Lily Lovenotes (which don't exist). Same goes for Sirius' eyeliner... Which does exist, but is too sacred for lesser beauties than himself to be in contact with. Ever.
You must loyally support any (reasonably brilliant) scheme thought up by a fellow Marauder, particularly if it ends with one (or all) getting laid. Loyalty is important, you know.
If the word "accessory" means anything to you, don't ask where Sirius got his Muggle record collection. However throwing them out the window when he's wailing Misfits lyricsat 3am at the top of his lungs is acceptable.
Peter has his talents. Appreciate them.
When Remus is pissed off on full moon days, don't start humming "Hungry like the Wolf" in his ear. Sirius learnt that one the hard way. Also avoid "time of the month" jokes. It's not worth it.
And when Sirius tears back your curtains in the middle of the night, rambling about killer frogs or jealous conspiracies involving his wondrous hair getting lopped off, you just let him get into bed with you, no matter how rainbows-and-hotpants it may seem; and you certainly don't tell him that you know what he really screams about in his sleep.
You don't talk about the Incident. That topic is out of bounds. So too is everything that ended that night. Remus and Sirius, or RemusandSirius... It didn't matter what they had beenanymore. Not better than friends, necessarily – and they were friends – but something else too, something which went on under covers and in closets, away from James and Peter... But, as mentioned, it didn't matter. It didn't matter how many times Sirius apologised, or how devastated he was at what he had done. The trust was gone. They rebuilt their friendship, but they couldn't be what they were.
Sometimes James wondered whether – no, but it wouldn't matter. They were the Marauders. And Marauders stick together.
Because Unspoken Rule Number One?
– You never, under any circumstances, betray a fellow Marauder.