With my entire day being CONTROLLED by the events of Chapter 95 [SPOILERS AHEAD: BEWARE!!!], I couldn't sleep without spitting out this humble narrative that just...pounded in my brain. So, here it is. This is just me, writing about Envy's realization of his..."envy". LOL. Yes, it is written in his memory.
NO! I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Envy, or any other characters. Yes, this is manga!verse, seeing as how I've already mentioned "CHAPTER 95". Please enjoy.
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Living in Envy
"Humans. Ha! Lousy pests."
It was a thought that crossed Envy's mind more than just once in a while, more than just once a day; it was a constant reminder of Envy's place in the hierarchy of the world, and it filled him with an unfathomable glee. He enjoyed his status and mark as a homunculus. Hell, as long as he wasn't human, what was there not to enjoy?
Humans were little more than bugs to Envy; insignificant creatures roaming wildly, struggling for survival. Although, they did pose as a very substantial form of entertainment, ravenously fighting one another in spats, battles, wars, and so on, half of which Envy started himself! He watched them for centuries, laughing at their pitiful attempts at revenge, their laughable displays of "true power". Truly, Envy enjoyed humans as much as he despised them.
What Envy did not find amusing, however, was the creatures' peaceful ways of reconciliation, their kind hand towards "fellowmen" in times of hardship. Such shows of compassion and brotherhood put a fowl taste in Envy's mouth, and a painful scowl across his lips.
"I don't see why you're getting so worked up over this," Lust would commentate occasionally, her curiosity irking Envy more than the strengthening companionships of humans.
"Shut up, Lust," he'd spit back at her, uninterested in her comments. "It just…I don't know, it picks at me. It's just annoying."
The truth was Envy never could figure out why it bothered him so much. Obviously, he would remind himself, it was because it gave his endless form of entertainment an unsatisfying ending. Who wants to see a quarrelling couple resolve their fight with tears and embraces, rekindling a temporarily broken bond, when such a thing could end in hate and bloodshed? It confused him endlessly; he could never grip the concept.
Companionship, brotherly bonds: Envy knew nothing of these things. Sure, he had "brothers", but just like him, they were creations and incarnations of their omnipotent father, living only thanks to that sinister red orb just beneath their flesh. He felt no bonds with these people, nothing keeping them together like love. Nothing. Nothing…
He was a being produced to carry out Father's devious plans, an incarnation of his creator's own "envy". Envy…
Envy's eyes flashed open to the point where he felt the painful strain of his eyelids, trying to shut them close. Such an explanation twisted his stomach in knots, urging him to expel it from his body, from his mind. "No," he whispered to himself, realizing his disgust at the humans' simple answer for ending fights.
Scowling, he looked up at the sky, its twinkling stars almost laughing at Envy's pathetic reasoning. His brow furrowed, his body shook: Envy envied humans? No, that couldn't be. How? He had no need for such things. They were bland, uninteresting, unnecessary!
…but he did. Growling beneath his breath, Envy picked up his pace towards Central, angry with his own thoughts and his own feelings.
A homunculus was incapable of emotions so meager and so trivial. But that was why: because he couldn't portray such feelings. It was impossible.
The sad truth lay deep inside his conscience, writhing like he would in his most humiliating of forms.
He envied humans. What a laugh. What a…
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...SHAME, that such an awesome character had such an ending, or an ending at all, for that matter. LOL. Man, do I love Envy. Thanks you for reading! Please review, if you wouldn't mind. :D
~erbby