Better Than Me inspired by Hinder
One of many songfics to come...
Feedback is never necessary but always appreciated.
1. Intro
--
I think you can do much
better than me. After all the lies
I made you believe
--
Sitting in his ancient armchair Luke took a swig of his Heineken. Lorelai's beer, in it's ridiculous green bottle that made him sick, with the taste that made him cringe, he drank it anyway. Every last drop of the repulsive liquid. Simply because it reminded him of her.
There wasn't a lot Luke Danes regretted in his life. Everything he'd done over the years had been for a reason and 98 of the time, it was a good one. He rarely did anything for himself, though, he always put the ones he loved before him. Track, in high school was to make his father proud. Cooking, was to make his mother happy when she was sick. The outcome of those things, though, eventually benefited him. Not this time, though. Luke thought he did it for her, to protect her. Instead he broke her already fragile heart. He tore her delicate, big, loving heart, took a hammer out of Bert and smashed it to pieces. His best friend, his fiance, his life. Gone. From love to loss in 3.5. Lying to her for two months and pushing her away after she'd found out the truth—keeping his daughter, a twelve year old, from her when she could have helped him figure things out... It was wrong. All wrong. Keeping April from her was the biggest mistake Luke Danes had ever mad. Oh the tangled web he wove. Slowly driving away the only thing worth living for, farther and farther away. He was better than that, and she deserved more.
--
Guilt kicks in and I start
to see, the edge of the bed
where you nightgown
used to be.
--
Finishing off his beer he set the crazy green bottle on the edge of the coffee table she bought for him. On the woodwork was a picture of the two of them taken by Rachel a few years ago at some crazy town festival. In the photo he and Lorelai were looking deep into each other's gorgeous blue eyes, Lorelai wearing a brilliant, vibrant smile and Luke grinning back. The love that wouldn't be uncovered by the two of them for another three years was truly apparent in the photo. Rachel captured it at just the right moment.
Luke looked up from the old photo and moved his gaze to his bed. In front of it, the television she insisted he buy two years ago, which of course he did instantly. She was more than pleased. He could still clearly remember the night she noticed it. The utter astonishment in her voice as she pointed to the TV and whispered, "What... is that!?". It amazed him. Like she honestly thought that if she even hinted at him to jump he wouldn't ask "how high?".
The now painful memory made his numb mind ache. Switching his view back to his bed he realized the time. Nearly 3:00AM. Contemplating the need to go to sleep, something on the floor caught his eye. He focused his vision on something green on the floor. Her nightgown. The same silk nightgown she'd worn when they'd agreed to plan an elopement on Martha's Vineyard. Crumpled and forgotten it lie, just like their relationship. Neglected.
--
I told myself i won't
miss you, but i remembered
what it feels like beside you.
--
The first few days were easy. It was not any different then the past week, since she'd been avoiding him anyway. So, he thought it wouldn't be quite as hard as the last time. He was wrong. By the end of the third day, after he'd closed the diner and locked up he'd find himself quietly crying himself to sleep, clutching the pillow that still smelled strongly of her apple-cinnamon-blend shampoo, which he started to use. Her "crazy" cinnamon toothpaste also became part of his daily grooming habits, just to remind him of her.
And now, three weeks since he let her walk away that night and he sits in his old recliner drinking her beer, staring at her nightgown and wishing he was with her.
--
TBC?
I have the WHOLE fic done, minus the epilogue which I'm doing very soon.
Reviews are always loved and replied to.
-Alaina