Chapter One
Never Forever
Every existence on the planet wanted to meet their soul mate. People craved a one-of-a-kind connection, a die-for-you love. Hence billions in the dating markets. Hence petty divorces.
Alice Cullen wished everyone would ask one question before wishing on pretty stars for a true love: What would you do if the person your heart was made for, died? In her case, the question would be rephrased. What would you do if the reason for your existing left?
She knew from the beginning, from her first vision that she would be with Jasper, the scarred vampire soldier, but only for a short while. Their relationship, unlike their lives, was not meant to last forever. With that knowledge they made the best out of each others company. Alice loved him like she would never love anyone ever again. In the deepest parts of her, she hoped that her visions were a lie, that something would change.
Every day for the past fifty years, Alice would stand in front of her full-length mirror. It was not in the same way her sister Rosalie did, it was not in vanity. She would merely stare at herself, with no smile.
Since she had met Jasper in that diner lifetimes ago, she had made herself as easy to be with as possible. He was sensitive to emotions to say the least, and in his defense (or offense if he so chose) he could manipulate them. He was the southern gentlemen though, and used his gift carefully. In return, she did everything to be light and happy. That was not to say that she had never been so. A consistent compliment in her life had been her bubbly nature, but sometimes, she did not feel bubbly. She wanted to be whatever she felt like being at the time, but she couldn't do that to him.
Alice couldn't see her life without him, couldn't imagine how to go on without him beside her. She couldn't recall her human life, and his face was the first face she saw when she woke. He was her destiny, but destinies could change, and they did. Nonetheless, she had to make his life better, to show him a different way of living. If she saved one life, then hers was not wasted.
Eventually, Jasper caught on to what she had been doing, and he left for Cambridge University. Yes, she saw it coming. No, it did not make her happy.
She packed his belongings before he had even told her, setting all eight suitcases in the trunk of his black car. Her dead heart was breaking, and when he drove up on his motorcycle, she handed him his plane tickets, his class schedule, and the directions to the new house, all of which was planned two weeks in advance.
Neither of them said a word. They never had to. On the tips of her toes, she stretched to hug him, and he complied, bending to pick her up by the waist. She inhaled the magnolia scent of his battle-marred skin and sunshine hair as he kissed her lips a last time.
Jasper left, and the countless hours passed. Still as a statue carved in sorrow, she stood out there in front of the large house of her adopted family. For once, she felt she didn't belong.
The sun set, the bright colors of orange and pink fading into dark blue. Twilight. Jasper's flight was taking off.
He would have an easier time on the plane. She devised it that way. He was not the most controlled vampire, and an enclosed space with humans spelled trouble. She did right, however, she had seen him stepping off the terminal with no problem, his eyes as vegetarian gold as they were when he boarded. As much comfort as that brought her, it sent her into bitter agony that he had gone at all. She saw his decision, but she wished it had been different. She wished she was wrong.
The stars showed and her hunger grew from twilight's reprieve. The hunger was nothing like the anguish she was feeling. On the outside a person would think she was in shock, but perhaps she was afraid if she did in fact move, she would literally fall apart. There was nothing keeping her together.
Her bear of a brother joined her in the last hour, his large hand on her shoulder. They both peered forward at the trees, the tracks through them; the only proof Jasper had been there.
Without permission, Emmett threw her over his shoulder, a light bounce in his steps, several fast ones as he went up the porch stairs, then a hasty jerk. Her head lolled like a rag doll.
The house was dark, not a light on. The only times they were was when Bella, (Edward's human girlfriend) was there. None of them needed light to see.
"I'll take her," Edward said from the sofa.
She was then passed from one brother to another. Edward cradled her to his chest as he ascended the staircase. Instead of taking her to her room (the one she used to share with Jasper) he carried her to his, lying her on the large bed meant for Bella.
Surrounded in freesia mists, Alice closed her eyes. It wasn't in useless hopes of sleep, but in the closest thing that she could come to solace at that moment. It was a bonus that she rather not see the emptiness that her former mate left behind, not just in their home but in her heart.
Soon, the sonnet that Edward composed for her began playing on his stereo system. The light tinkle of the ivory keys, jumpy and sweet. It soothed her, like he knew it would.
Though she loved her family, Edward was her favorite sibling. Thanks to his mind-reading he shared her visions, and he understood. They had a special relationship that she loved. She wasn't close to anyone the way she was to him. There wasn't much need to be spoken between them and they both loved that.
Against her arm Edward leaned. She looked past his copper hair to the thick medical book he held. He flipped the pages in time to the music. He could have been reading that fast, or he could have been giving her a bit of solitude without leaving the room.
Thank you, she thought gratefully, and he nodded.