I don't even know what this is but I just have a lot of feelings. I'm so happy with the way the episode turned out.
Happy pressed into his arm, face leaned against the leather. Cold to the touch, but all the warmth she needed. Those arms were comforting, they were everything. She needed to feel him, and reassure herself of their stability. After everything they went through today, she just wasn't ready to let go yet.
His clothes were soaked in the smells of his past; cheap liquor, cigarette smoke, moldy carpets, and Amy's disgustingly sweet perfume. All the same as a few years ago. But it wasn't a fixed second skin anymore, clinging to his every move. More like a loose layer he could easily shake off. And she knew, when he got home, it would be showered away. She could erase Amy's mark on him, because it damn well wasn't permanent.
His lips nuzzled softly against her head, finding their preferred place in the strands of her hair. She let the power in that touch, despite being nothing more than a gentle whisper of the love behind it, hold her. The mouth she wanted to punch so badly earlier in the day called her home now, wordlessly drawing her in.
She wanted to feel like this for the rest of her life. Having the security of his promise not to gamble and believing it. Because this couldn't happen again. Gambling needed to stay in the past, with Amy, where they both belonged. The road down that path was closed. If he ever wanted to walk it again, he would walk alone.
Happy wrapped her arms around her husband tighter. Feeling her movement, he adjusted to her closer position.
She was terrified of that. Of his emotional and physical bruises coming back. Of reopening the scars left on her. Of losing him and everything they'd worked so hard for. Just the thought scared her. More than anything ever did before. Even more than being second best to Amy anymore and getting abandoned because she wasn't good enough.
The thing she was most scared of, though? Gambling. And its hold over Toby.
She couldn't lose him to gambling. She knew he had the ability to go the rest of his life without dropping a single dollar on a bet. But the genius part of her recognized it was a possibility. Even a one percent chance was still something. And if he ever became unfixable, she would walk. She would break, but she would walk. She'd never come back.
But she would fight for him before that could ever happen. She would never stop fighting for him. Since the night she decided to let him have a second chance, she'd began giving her heart to him, piece by piece. That marriage ring meant he had all of it. And she had his. The bond stretched deeper than a broken engagement, or the clutches of a bet seemingly too good to resist.
Her belief shook today. But she had faith it wouldn't ever again, and she had faith in him.
Happy buried her face deeper into his chest, practically losing herself there. And she just breathed.
"I really do love you," she mumbled.
"And I love you," he whispered. "I love you so damn much."