Four Days of Life, a gakuen alice fanfic

Gakuen Alice Request: 1#
Requester: EnaRie
Date published: 29.05.10
Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

-MIKAN SAKURA

First Day: Rejection.

Rejection.

Funny how I'd thought I would rarely ever experience this terrifying feeling that can eat up a person's hope of acceptance. But now, I feel them beating through my veins as I watch my best friend walk away, not sparing a single, tiny glance back at me. I always remind myself, 'Don't worry Mikan. Hotaru doesn't mean it. Rejecting me is like saying 'I love you' for her. It's okay. She's still your best friend, no matter what!'

But no matter how many times I remind myself constantly, I feel a stab pierce going through my heart.

Rip. Tear. Rip.

Second Day: Loneliness.

Loneliness.

That word eats me up every day as I think of how Hotaru doesn't mean to take our friendship for granted. She's my best friend, of course. But even if I try to console myself with little things, they never work like before. Before, it had worked miraculously. I distracted myself from problems was like my drug.

"Mikan, get off me." Hotaru sighed, agitated.

"Hotaru! We never spend time together anymore!" I whined and looked up at her with a pouting expression with crystal clear eyes.

"I'm busy, idiot. Now get off, or I'll make you get off. I won't go easy on you just because you're my best friend." As Hotaru had promised, I was flying out of my chair from her baka-gun. But, that didn't matter. It was what Hotaru had said. Best friend. Of course, I was back to normal, but that didn't last for long.

Rip. Tear. Rip. Tear.

Third Day: Neglect.

Neglect.

"Hello my sweet rice buns! Today, we're going to do a pair activity! And since I'm in such a good mood-"

Narumi was interrupted by the rude, sarcastic remark Natsume had pointed out. "That's a first."

Nevertheless, Narumi continued as if he hadn't heard him. "Everyone is allowed to choose their own pairs!"

I grinned wildly, staring at Hotaru meaningfully. As soon as our eyes met, she averted her lavender eyes to our school president, Yuu. "E-eh, but H-hotaru-san, don't y-you want t-to be partners with Mikan-chan?"

"You sit next to me. Therefore, we don't have to move," that was all that she had replied. Yuu glanced at me, sending an apologetic look.

I murmured and shook my head, "It's okay." So instead on finding a partner, I stalked out of the classroom, feeling neglected and left out.

Riiiiiiip. Teeeeaaar. Riiiiiip.

Fourth Day: Break up.

Break up.

That was all I wanted right now. So I was going to get it. I'm sick and tired of all these obstacles Hotaru has put up for me for being her best friend. My conclusion was: she had taken our friendship for granted. And this time – undoubtedly – I was going to put a stop to all of this and rip our already-broken friendship to pieces. It was the only solution.

"Hotaru." No reply.

"Hotaru!" Once again, no reply.

"HOTARU!" Finally.

"Idiot! What do you want now?" She looked obviously annoyed and tired.

"I'm sorry. We can't be best friends anymore." I looked away from her lifeless eyes, feeling tears burst out.

"Mikan-"

"No! Please, don't say anything that could ruin me even more. Please. I'm sick and tired of you neglecting me. I'm always so lonely, Hotaru! I thought you were my best friend. Best friends are supposed to be there for each other no matter what happens, even if you have an igloo as your best friend!" I was crying. The tears wouldn't stop flowing even if I tried wiping them away. With all the pain I had kept and pushed inside, it finally came out. As I stared for the last time at her hurt, regretful, confused face, I ran for it.

No more, will I shed a single tear for Hotaru Imai.

Riiiiiip. You ripped my heart into pieces, Hotaru.

-HOTARU IMAI

First Day: Regret.

Regret.

I'm stupid. She didn't deserve this, but I was too tired and annoyed to spare a glance at my best friend who I could feel staring holes at the back of my head in despair. 'Sorry', I thought, frowning inwardly. I was sure she felt rejected, but I wasn't bothered involving myself with her bothersome plans. We're best friends, anyways. She'd understand. But at the back of my mind, I had a bad feeling her understanding wouldn't last long. Pushing away the thought carelessly, I continued walking towards my lab without a care in the world.

Rip. Tear. Rip.

Second Day: Limit.

Limit.

That was the only word that dominated my mind. Mikan was too annoying right now, and she had pushed her luck by clinging onto me while I was busy working on making money. Sure I thought cruel, but it was part of who I was. And, Imai Hotaru has her flaws too. But Mikan sure stubbornly pushed her way onto the top of my 'Annoying People' list. And now, she was reaching my limit. So naturally, I swiftly aimed my infamous baka-gun at her and pressed the trigger button. Crash. Checking to see she was unharmed, I continued onto my work. I felt a tingle at the back of my throat. I had directly reminded her whose best friend she was, and I knew I put her hopes up.

Rip. Tear. Rip. Tear.

Third Day: Noisy.

Noisy.

Mikan sure got on my nerves nowadays. Being too noisy was one of the reasons, and that Narumi was also getting on my nerves. Idiots these days, tsk. I was reading a book on mechanics while I caught the words "choose pairs" coming out of the mouth of my idiotic teacher. On cue, I glanced furtively at Mikan. I knew it. She was staring down at me meaningfully with a small pout. Quickly, I avoided her eyes and met Yuu's. "You're my partner," I demanded quietly as I went back to reading

"Huh?" He looked surprised and nervous. I rolled my eyes and continued reading. Secretively, I glanced at Mikan who was busy clenching and unclenching her fists, brown bangs covering her expressionless eyes. I felt a twinge of guilt, but nonetheless ignored the feeling and started talking to Yuu.

But before I could finish my sentence, Mikan briskly walked out the door without a second glance at the class. Silence. Murmurs spread around the room, and I met Hyuuga's confused stare. 'What happened?' He successfully sent the question by his glance. I shrugged in response and continued with what I was doing. What did happen?

Riiiiiiip. Teeeeaaar. Riiiiiip.

Fourth Day: Broken.

Broken.

I was broken. I was a mess. I was dead. Of course not literally, but sure felt like it. As Mikan gushed out her feelings, I could see the tears that fell down silently, one by one. And they were falling down because of me. I never raised my hand to wipe them away. I just cringed as I watched her continue her speech.

"Mikan-" I tried to begin, but she was quick enough to disrupt me. I looked at my feet with guilt running high in my system. Sorry was such a simple word to say. Why couldn't a best friend like me even mutter it? Oh yeah, I'm an igloo with ice cubes as walls. But before I could wipe away her tears, she ran. And this time, I had a feeling she wasn't going to miraculously turn around the round-a-bout and run back with open, forgiving arms.

"Sorry, Mikan." Though I knew this was pointless. She never heard me. And I doubt she ever will.

Riiiiiip. I ripped both our hearts into pieces. Sorry, Mikan.

13 Days Later.

-HOTARU IMAI

First Day: Rejection.

Rejection.

I watched as my 'ex-best friend' walked with Shouda. Mikan was animatedly chatting to her, not minding the subtle upset look on my face. Realisation dawned upon me. I looked up at her in horror, realising she was never going to speak to me again.

"Mikan," I whispered.

She blinked twice and tried to find the source of her name being called out, and was disappointed it was me. Disappointed. Never in my life, would I have thought Mikan felt disappointed towards me. I felt so different. Usually, I would be pestered with her annoying hugs and greetings, but now, I'm beginning to miss them.

Cry.

Second Day: Loneliness.

Loneliness.

I had taken the bus to Central Town, eager to get my problems off my mind even just for a little while. But, no matter how much crab brains I devoured, it never satisfied my hunger and thirst for my best friend. Worse, I sat directly behind her and Shouda and I could hear all the stories she had told me long time ago. Now, those stories were being retold to Shouda. I grimaced inwardly, looking out the window and noticing the dull sky with dark clouds covering nearly everything. Rain. What a nice weather to match my mood.

Cry. Cry.

Third Day: Neglect.

Neglect.

As I was studying, I noticed a few gathering around Mikan. I raised an eyebrow as I realised people were helping her. Taking in a deep breath, I built up the courage and guts to walk up to her with pride. "Need help?" I merely muttered, avoiding her surprised gaze.

"Naah, I've got all the help I need," Mikan said, brushing her hair out of the way.

"Oh." What a lame reply, but this was the first time she had indirectly embarrassed me. I quickly turned around with red tinted cheeks. I guess I sort of deserved it. But I couldn't help the tear that fell unnoticeably on the ground.

Crrrrrrrrrryy.

Fourth Day: Bye.

Bye.

I didn't want to say it, but I had to. It was the only way to stop killing me inside. I regret ignoring her when Mikan never deserved such a horrible thing. I feel loneliness once again ruling my life. My world's empty, my sun's gone, and my life is nothing but pitch black. I feel neglect as I watch her never-turning back walk away silently from me. And what's worse is that that was me before. I'm broken to pieces. No more, can anyone fix me how Mikan had. No one and nothing can ever surpass the wall prepared to meet anymore hurtful obstacles in the way. This is my goodbye to you, Mikan.

No more, will I shed a single tear for Mikan Sakura.

Crrrrrrrrrrrrryy. You're the first and last to make me cry, Mikan. Be strong, for me.

REVISED! still mistakes might be found, tell me about it please!

~Joy.