Never say never

by jemster23

Entry for The Cherry Exchange 2010 contest.For as long as she can remember, Bella has secretly been in love with her best friend,Edward. Convinced that he would never return her feelings, she kept quiet, but as the saying goes, you can never say never.

1. Chapter 1

Entry for "The Cherry Exchange 2010"

Title: Never say never
Penname: Jemster23
Rating: M
Word Count:14962

Summary: For as long as she can remember, Bella has secretly been in love with her best friend, Edward. Convinced that he would never return her feelings, she kept quiet, but as the saying goes, you can never say never.

Everyone knew Edward Cullen; he was the type of guy that stood out in any crowd. What with his heart breaking good looks, amazing athletic physique, and the most mesmerising green eyes you could ever come across, he was pretty much your stereotypical, gorgeous senior. However, that wasn't even the half of it, because aside from those gorgeous eyes—which were framed by the kind of long lashes that made girls melt—he was absolutely dreamy; and don't even get me started on that luscious reddish- brown hair, or his chiselled jaw-line that put all those Abercrombie models to shame.

Everything about him screamed perfection, whereas I had never been anything more than ordinary and if you were to ask anyone, they would tell you the same thing. I was shy and gawky, with dull, brown hair and matching boring, brown eyes; everything about me screamed 'dork'. I wasn't a talented musician, nor was I athletic, and I most definitely didn't have any artistic flare like my best friend, Alice. Truthfully, there was simply nothing special about me. So you'd be forgiven for thinking that this was another story of a painfully shy girl pining for a classmate who basically didn't know I was even alive. We've all been there, right?

Except this wasn't that story.

Edward and I were friends, best friends, in fact. We had been since the first day of kindergarten, when he befriended me after Mike Newton pulled my pigtails and made me cry. At the time, I had been both baffled and amused when the little boy who was sitting beside me sent a shy smile my way, while his sister, Alice, chased Mike around the classroom armed with a pencil. That smiling little boy was Edward Cullen.

Looking at Edward now, you would be forgiven for thinking that he had always been this insanely handsome dreamboat. Except that hadn't always been the case. In fact, in his early teens you would have hardly recognised him. You see, long before he was the star quarterback, Mr. Popular and all-round nice guy, Edward was actually a painfully shy kid who was too afraid to even approach anyone outside of his siblings and our small circle of friends.

Oh, how times had changed.

However, regardless of how ordinary, and dare I say it, how geeky he had been back then, there had always been something about Edward that put me at ease whenever I was with him. He was always there for me; he was the friend who made me laugh and wiped my tears when I stumbled; he was the friend who hugged me, watched me succeed and cheered me up when I was down. So it was unsurprising really, that I had developed a crush on him. Of course, that harmless crush soon turned into something a whole lot more serious.

I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when I realised I was in love with Edward, but I think it was when I was 14 years old. That year, we shared a kiss in an innocent game of Truth or Dare at Jessica Stanley's birthday party, after Edward's elder brother, Emmett, dared him to 'tongue me'.

Jessica had been desperate to kiss Edward herself and she had been so devastated and distraught that she threw a hissy fit and ran off crying hysterically and didn't speak to me for a whole month after that, and when she did talk to me again, it was only to taunt or belittle me. She still hadn't forgiven me, but I couldn't care less; the feel of Edward's lips against mine was more than worth her wrath.

Even though there were no tongues involved after all, that kiss was magical. The moment Edward's lips met mine I felt something warm and tingly run through my entire body. I never told Edward that he had been my first, and rather pathetically, only kiss. In fact, we hadn't spoken of it since, which was probably just as well really, since that kiss resulted in the first ever awkward stage in our friendship. At the time, I was devastated and still to this day I didn't understand why, for a whole month, he would suddenly leave the room whenever I went round to visit him and Alice. Had the kiss really been so bad that he'd had to hide away until I'd gone home? I didn't want to think about that possibility, but thankfully after a few months we eventually got back to normal. However, I had been bottling up my feelings for him ever since.

Not long after Jessica's party, Edward grew out of his awkward stage, but even his newfound popularity didn't change him in the slightest. He remained one of the nicest, smartest and most charming guys you could ever meet and not once did he make me feel inferior to him because of his popularity. On the contrary, he always made me feel worthy of his time. It was actually quite amusing how grateful he was after I agreed to help tutor him in English, because I was surprised he needed to ask for my help in the first place.

You see, as well as being gorgeous, Edward was ridiculously clever in all subjects. All subjects that was, except English, where surprisingly he struggled. English was my favourite subject by far, so I was more than willing to help him out. After all, I more than owed him for the numerous times he had come to my rescue in the past.

Aside from the whole Mike Newton incident, he was there for me on the first, but unfortunately not the last, time I broke my arm. On that occasion I had fallen off my bike in front of all my friends, just minutes after my dad, Charlie, had removed the training wheels. While everyone else struggled to contain their amusement, Edward, being the adorable guy that he was, deliberately fell off his bike and landed straight in a bush of stinging nettles to ease my embarrassment.

His heroics continued throughout high school and just last year he stepped in when Jessica and her best friend, Tanya, started taunting me for being 'quiet and bumbling Bella'. Needless to say, their teasing stopped when Mr. 'Dreamboat' Cullen called them out on it.

If it weren't enough that Edward always looked out for me, his twin sister, my best friend, Alice, was just as protective. She was really tiny—one of the shortest girls in school—and slim, but despite appearances she was very fierce and, for a short person, she packed a substantial punch. Plus their elder brother, Emmett, treated me like a little sister too. He loved to taunt me and though he took great pleasure in making me blush at any opportunity possible, he was a teddy bear underneath his tough guy exterior. He went away to college last year, but he sometimes came home to visit at weekends.

However, regardless of how close we were as a group, there was always something about Edward that made him seem untouchable. On a few occasions, I had debated opening up to him about how I truly felt, but I could never work up the courage to actually go through with it. Instead, I cherished moments like our study sessions, because, for one night a week, I got to spend some one-on-one time with him, during which I found myself imagining the time we spent together was like our own special date night.

Pathetic, I know, but in my defence, it was the closest I'd ever come to actually going out on a real date, because, trust me, guys weren't exactly lining up outside my door to take me out. I wouldn't have gone anyway; Edward was the only one for me.

Not that it mattered though; a long time ago, I accepted the fact that regardless of how much I loved him, all I was ever going to be to Edward was a friend.

There were the Lauren's and Tanya's of this world and then there was me: plain, ordinary, nothing special Bella. Edward was way too gorgeous to be interested in a nobody like me.

Not that he would ever stand for a bad word to be said against me. He was fiercely protective of all his friends, and me in particular for some reason; no doubt because he saw me as some fragile person that needed protecting. Though I was pretty clumsy so he would be right about that.

}*{

I pulled up to the school in my old, noisy Jeep and stepped out into the cool air. Despite summer being just around the corner, it was breezy and damp; the cloud was grey and heavy overhead and a fine drizzle was beginning to fall. It was sure to start raining properly soon, and so I quickly made my way into the large school building, eager to get inside where it was warm and dry. The corridor was heaving with people and I put my head down as I made my way through the crowd to my locker.

I had just gotten to my locker and retrieved my gym bag when I spotted Edward effortlessly gliding down the corridor towards me, looking like a model coming down the runway. Maybe it was a Cullen thing, because Alice had perfected that same air of grace too. She'd tried to teach me once, but let's just say it didn't exactly end well and she admitted defeat very early on into her challenge.

"Hey, Bella," said Edward when he reached me.

"Hi," I replied, smiling widely when his fingers threaded with mine the way I loved, as we walked towards the gym.

Gym class was the bane of my existence; I was so clumsy that I was always falling over and hurting myself, and it was so embarrassing because Edward was in the same class and so he saw the full extent of my clumsiness first-hand.

Thankfully though, his kindness still shone through and he always offered to help me up when I fell. Honestly, I don't know how I would ever survive the class if he weren't there too.

"You skipping today?" I asked, eyeing him curiously when I noticed he had no gym kit with him.

"Not skipping," he replied, a teasing grin overtaking his face. "We have a friendly with La Push this afternoon."

"Lucky you," I sighed, disappointed at the thought of the disaster ahead, because without Edward around I was sure to injure myself again.

As if he had sensed my anxiety, he gave my hand a gentle squeeze and said, "Don't worry, Jasper will look after you."

I smiled in gratitude and when the bell rang I wished him good luck in the game, before heading towards the changing rooms, however, just as I was about to enter Edward called me back.

"Hey, Bella?"

I turned back to look at him and noticed he was running his hand through his hair, making it even more messy than it was before. God I loved his hair; I often dreamed about running my own fingers through it.

"Are you still coming round for film night tonight?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

I managed to refrain from rolling my eyes at him, as I shook my head lightly at his silly question and scoffed, "Of course."

I had only missed film night once in the last three years and even then it was only because I'd had chicken pox, and Charlie had banned me from going. I hadn't spoken to Charlie for the rest of that week because I was so pissed off that I couldn't spend time with Edward.

"I'll see you later, then," he smiled, before taking off down the corridor.

}*{

I hated gym the best of times, but it was sure to be a disaster without Edward around to watch out for me. Thankfully though, Jasper took his place and had it not been for him, I'm sure I would have caused severe damage to my classmates, just like I did that time last year when I rather impressively managed to spike Mike Newton in the face in a 'friendly' game of volleyball. He was taken to hospital and treated for concussion, but I liked to think that it was payback for the pigtail incident.

It probably wasn't a good omen that we were back to volleyball this semester, but whoever said men couldn't multitask was either a big, fat, liar or they hadn't met Jasper Whitlock.

Jasper was a saint and he managed to block any potential contact I might have had with the volleyball, as well as keeping me stable on my feet. He succeeded more times than I'd like to admit, but despite his valiant effort to keep me out of danger, even he couldn't prevent me from falling down.

Halfway through class, I tripped and fell to the floor in a heap and I felt a blush break out in full force when laughter echoed around the packed gymnasium. My mortification aside, my arm took the brunt of the fall and I was temporarily winded before Jasper came over and carefully helped me back on my feet.

"Whitlock, take her to the nurse, " barked Mrs Clearwater, the gym teacher, displeasure written all across her face.

I swear she either thought I injured myself intentionally or that I was faking it, and I really wished I was that good of an actress.

"And to think we almost made it halfway through class without incident," Jasper commented on our way down the corridor.

"Almost," I agreed, as I glanced up to see him smiling.

"What?" I asked, failing to see the funny side.

"You do realise that Edward will kick my ass for letting you get injured?" he chuckled, shaking his head with laughter.

"No he won't," I denied, though I knew that would be the case. It was a running joke between the others about how protective Edward was over me.

"Come on, let's get you checked out," he said, as he guided me towards the nurse's office.

As I'd suspected, it was nothing more than some slight swelling and the beginnings of a particularly nasty bruise on my arm. With my injured arm, there was little point in going back to the gym, only to watch from the sidelines, so I went back to the changing rooms to pick up my belongings before heading out towards the parking lot.

On the way, I spotted Alice, who immediately started walking towards me.

"Why aren't you in class?" I questioned.

"Free period," she answered, looking down at my arm with a frown.

"What happened this time?"

"Just the usual. I fell again." I said with a shrug.

"Oh, Bella, what am I going to do with you?" she wondered, before taking my good arm in hers and insisting that I was going straight over to her house so that she could take care of me. I didn't argue with her; arguing was pointless when she went into Nurse Alice mode.

}*{

When we pulled up outside her house, I was surprised to say the least when I spotted Edward's swanky Volvo parked in the driveway.

"I thought Edward had a game today?" I asked, frowning in confusion.

"He did, but it got cancelled at the last minute," she replied with a hint of disinterest.

"You know how unreliable those La Push guys are like," she replied, as she made her way up the driveway, leaving me to trail behind her a lot less gracefully.

We had just gotten through the front door when Edward's voice called out from above, "Bella?"

I glanced up the staircase to see him standing on the landing above us, smiling, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Who's skipping now?" he said, a teasing grin plastered across his face.

"I'm not skipping," I scowled up at him.

He raised an eyebrow and sent me an unconvinced stare, so I pulled off my coat to expose my arm. He was down the stairs and inspecting my injuries in a flash.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"It's nothing. We both know I've had worse," I joked, trying to shrug it off, but Edward didn't look amused.

"Seriously, the first moment anything like this happens again, I want you to call me," he said seriously, looking worried,

"You were meant to be at a game," I countered. "Besides, who's to say there will be a next time?"

He shook his head and gently placed an arm around my shoulder as he led me towards the living room.

"Bella, this is you we're talking about. You're a walking, talking, danger magnet; of course there will be a next time," he laughed.

Though I huffed in irritation, there was no denying that he was right; it was definitely a case of when, not if, my clumsiness would strike again.

"Come on, let's go set up the movie. I'll even let you pick, how about that?" he asked, flashing me my favourite crooked smile.

"Yay! Girlie flick!" I heard Alice exclaim in the background, but Edward quickly put an end to her excitement.

"I said it was Bella's pick, Alice. Don't you start pressuring her," he sent her a stern look.

"I wouldn't dream of it," she replied innocently, but the second his back was turned, she mouthed 'Dirty Dancing' to me.

Despite Alice's pleas, I couldn't put Edward, Jasper and Emmett through that, so I chose a comedy instead. It was for the best, considering our last less than successful attempt at encouraging the guys to get in touch with their feminine sides. Honestly, I'd never heard moaning and bitching like it and after that day I'd sworn never to watch a chick flick with them again.

While we waited for the others to arrive, I helped Alice and Edward set up film night. Jasper had called to say that he wouldn't be long, and Emmett was sure to be here at any moment with his new girlfriend, Rosalie. We knew very little about Rosalie, other than that Emmett had said she was hot and that they'd been dating since the start of college, which was pretty steady going by his usual standards.

Twenty minutes later, we were watching the film previews when I heard the front door slam, followed by heavy footsteps making their way through the house, it could only mean one thing: Emmett was home.

"Emmy!" Alice screeched, jumping off the sofa to greet him.

After she had finished squeezing him and screaming in his ear about how glad she was to have him home, I went over to join them.

"Hey Bells," Emmett grinned, before wrapping his arms around me and lifting me off the ground.

"Careful, she's injured," Edward warned, much to my annoyance. I scowled across at him but he merely shrugged off my anger.

"Some things never change,"Emmett muttered before carefully placing me back on the ground.

"Nice," he said, almost approvingly when he glanced over my injured arm, before joking, "though not as impressive as the last bruise."

Edward smacked him on the back of the head in response and he yelped.

"Hey! What was that for bro?" he protested, bringing his hand up to rub the spot where Edward had hit him, before focussing his attention on something behind us.

"Come on in, Rosalie," he said encouragingly and I turned around to see a blonde bombshell hovering in the background.

Great, I thought sarcastically, as she entered the room; another supermodel to add to an already perfect group.

Emmett quickly started the introductions, "Everyone, this is Rosalie. Rose, this is my family. My annoying little sister, Alice," he gestured towards her but she ignored his teasing and instead stepped forward to give Rosalie a massive hug.

"Welcome to the family," she announced cheerfully.

Emmett looked extremely uncomfortable and he was quick to divert the attention away from Alice's declaration.

"This is my brother, Edward," he announced, a giant smirk forming on his face. "But he prefers to be known as Eddie."

I stifled a laugh at the angry glare Edward shot Emmett; Eddie was his least favourite nickname.

"Nah, I'm kidding. Only Bella gets away with calling him Eddie without getting a slap."

That was a total exaggeration; I had only ever called him that on a few occasions when we were arguing.

"Rosalie, this is Bella, Edward's..." he paused thoughtfully and I prayed to God that he wouldn't use the word stalker or something equally embarrassing; However, he finally settled for "friend."

I immediately felt my cheeks heat up at the tone in his voice and judging by the laughter that erupting around the room, it was obvious his innuendo didn't go unnoticed. I wanted to kill Emmett, but when I shot daggers across at him, it was he and Edward who were exchanging angry glares.

"Film time," Alice declared then, drawing the attention away from them.

While Emmett made a quick dash for the large sofa on the far side of the room, I settled for the smaller one that was closest to the giant flat-screen. As I perched myself down, I was pleased to see Edward taking a seat next to me. His shoulder brushed against mine and I tried very hard to ignore the bolt of electricity that went through me at the contact. Even years of restraint couldn't control the effect that simple touch had on me.

We had just settled down into our seats and popped in the DVD, when a light knock on the door signalled Jasper's arrival. Alice was up like a shot and bolted for the door to greet him. When she didn't return for a few minutes, Emmett decided to fill the silence by making sloppy kissing noises.

"They really are too much," he grumbled, before turning his attention to Edward, giving him a wicked grin as he teased, "I take it you're not a man yet, little brother?"

Edward turned bright red and looked down as he ordered Emmett to shut up and I felt myself blushing for him. His brother really was insensitive at times. I should know, I'd been on the receiving end of the same joke numerous times.

You see, it was a little-known fact that Edward was a virgin. He was one of the most popular guys in school, yet surprisingly he hadn't even had a girlfriend, though not for a lack of opportunity, I might add. I guessed his crazy schedule of football and basketball practice, as well as maintaining his high grades, left very little time for him to date. Selfishly, though, I was relieved, because I couldn't handle the thought of seeing him with another girl.

"So, what happened this time, Bells?" Emmett asked, gesturing towards my arm.

"That's what I'd like to know," Edward interrupted, levelling a stare at Jasper who finally walked through the doorway with Alice at his side.

"I will be having words with you later, Whitlock."

"I did my best," defended Jasper, holding his hands up in defeat.

I playfully nudged Edward in the ribs. "Hey, it's not his fault I'm a klutz."

"Yes, you leave my Jazzy alone," Alice pouted as she dragged Jasper over to the remaining seats before starting the DVD again.

As the others became engrossed in the film, I found that I wasn't really paying much attention to it; I was too distracted by Edward. I could happily watch him forever and never get bored, but I didn't want to be too obvious and have him notice, so I forced myself to focus on the screen instead.

I sighed longingly as I realised that I would miss nights like these when, in a few months time, we would all be going our separate ways when we went off to college. I was going to Dartmouth while Alice and Jasper were both going to schools on the other side of the country, but I didn't have a clue where Edward was going, and from the sound of things, neither did he.

We'd applied to many of the same schools and although I had settled on Dartmouth, he was still undecided. I didn't understand what the big hold-up was, but whenever I asked him about it, he went all mysterious, saying that he had a few things to sort out before he made his final decision. The selfish part of me hoped that when he made his choice, he would be coming to Dartmouth with me, because I couldn't imagine being away from Edward for so long.

When the first movie finished, the guys thought it would be funny to watch a horror movie next. Alice agreed, though I suspect she was more interested in snuggling up to Jasper than actually watching the film. I hated scary movies and tried to protest, but my objections were soon quashed when Edward glanced across at me.

"Come here, you," he said, holding his arms open for me.

I shuffled across the sofa towards him and nestled myself against him like I usually did, my body snuggled against his, as my head rested on his chest. I forced back a grin when his arms came around me and he pulled me even tighter against him. Though we had cuddled up many times before, I'd never got used to being this close to Edward and at times like this, it was hard to keep my feelings hidden. Even more worryingly, my body betrayed me and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I hoped he wouldn't notice or if he did, that he would put it down to the film.

To be honest though, the film was neither scary nor exciting and after a while I switched off altogether. I closed my eyes and put my head on Edward's shoulder. I could have sworn he leaned in to place a light kiss on my temple a few times, but then I figured it was in my mind. As I started to drift off to sleep, I thought I heard Rosalie say something about being sweet, but I couldn't be sure of that either.

}*{

I slept over at Alice's, so I rode into school with her the next day. We chatted in the corridor for a while before we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I had just gotten to my locker and was in the process of getting out my books for the days classes, when a solid force collided with me; sending me spiralling out on the floor and my books along with me. I looked up and sighed in frustration.

"Oops, sorry, Bella." Jess said with a laugh.

"Yeah sorry, Bella," Tanya echoed, sniggering. "We didn't see you there."

The two of them strutted off down the corridor, leaving me glaring at their backs. This had gone on for a while now: a few offhand remarks in class, several dirty looks here and there, and the occasional incident like this, which usually involved embarrassing me in public. Not that I let them get away with it. I had reacted a few times and shouted back at them, but it did nothing. Besides, they were the ones acting like children, not me: let them get on with it. I cursed under my breath and started picking up my scattered belongings. I was half done when I felt a hand grab hold of my wrist to stop me.

"Allow me," a familiar voice insisted and I looked up to see Edward crouching down beside me collecting my books.

I prayed he hadn't seen what had happened, but I had the unpleasant suspicion that he had. His concern was visible in his expression, but he said nothing, so I quickly turned away and began gathering up the rest of the things that had spilled out of my bag.

"Here," Edward straightened and held a hand down to me.

I placed my hand in his and he helped in back on to my feet.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked, before he could ask me what happened.

He hesitated, seemingly unsure of himself, which wasn't at all like Edward: most of the time he was confident and assured, but I'd noticed a change in him over the last few weeks. It was almost as though he was on the verge of saying something, but he never quite got round to it. It was all very puzzling.

"I was looking for you," he answered, as he shuffled around on the spot.

He looked nervous and I raised an eyebrow to prompt him.

"Have you got time for another study session this week?" he asked, looking frustrated with himself as he fisted a hand in his hair, making it even more unruly.

"I have this paper that's really causing me trouble."

Well, that explained it, I thought to myself; He was embarrassed about asking for help.

"Sure," I replied brightly, "When were you thinking?"

"Is tonight too short notice?" he asked hopefully.

"No, that's fine, I'll have dinner with Charlie and then I'm all yours."

Trust me and my big fat stupid mouth to put my foot in it; 'I'm all yours,'? Really, what was I thinking? I blushed like mad, while Edward's smile just widened.

Later that evening, I was sitting in Edward's bedroom, and while he was busy working away on his assignment, I found myself unable to look away from him. He was wearing the thin, wire-framed glasses, he occasionally wore when he was having a break from contacts, and he looked gorgeous in them. Whereas most people would look like a geek, he looked like a god in those glasses.

"So are you gonna tell me what that was all about in the corridor this morning?" he asked, breaking into my thoughts.

Though his eyes didn't leave the paper in front of him, I could hear the concern in his tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, trying to sound casual, but I didn't think I pulled it off.

My suspicions were confirmed when his eyes finally lifted to meet mine and I immediately saw the irritation there.

"Let me refresh your memory then, shall I? I saw those girls deliberately crash into you, Bella. Are they giving you trouble again?" he asked as he looked at me in concern.

I looked away quickly.

"Really, Edward, it's nothing," I said, trying to avoid the question, because the most annoying thing about Edward was that I couldn't lie to him – not ever.

"Bella, look at me." His voice was strained and when I refused, he leaned over and lifted my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look at him. "I can always ask them if you won't tell me."

Yeah, and make me look like a tell-tale while you're at it!

I shot him a desperate look, but he was unmoving. If anything, he seemed even more angered by my defiance.

I tried to downplay it and shrugged, "It's no big deal; they just think they're being funny."

"Who're they? Just Tanya and Jessica?" his voice was level and his face expressionless, but I knew Edward well enough to know that if he thought anyone was giving me trouble he wouldn't let it drop until he sorted it out.

"Just them," I eventually submitted, "but there was no harm done, and I'm handling it."

Edward didn't respond, he just sat there staring at me.

"Now enough about that, let's see how you're getting on with these questions," I said, reaching for his paper, desperate for a distraction from the tension in the room.

I scrunched my eyebrows up in confusion as I glanced over his answers, "I don't understand how you're struggling. What you have here is pretty good."

}*{

The next day at school, I received a grovelling apology from both Jessica and Tanya, but then that really shouldn't have surprised me.

"That was completely unnecessary," I told Edward when we joined us at our table for lunch.

"I fail to agree, it was completely necessary. They have no right to treat you like that Bella, no right at all!" he exclaimed in outrage.

"But I could have dealt with it," I argued.

I hated the fact that he always thought he had to stick up for me. Sure, I wasn't exactly the most outspoken of people, but I was no shrinking violet either.

"Well, I've saved you the trouble then, haven't I?" he retorted, ruffling his hair up.

"Children, children," Alice, interrupted, looking over at me disapprovingly before her expression relaxed and she continued cheerfully, "Enough about that silliness. Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Do we have to?" I groaned, picturing my least favourite pastime on a Saturday: shopping.

Edward laughed, so I nudged him playfully. My efforts turned out to be pointless because his arm slipped around my shoulder and he drew me against him.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Alice said, sticking her tongue out jokingly. "You're cutting it fine as it is and all the good dresses will be gone by now. It's lucky you have me to hunt out the perfect dress for prom!"

"Speaking of cutting it fine," Lauren interrupted from the table next to ours. Her eyes were locked on Edward.

"Have you decided who you're taking to prom yet, Edward?" she asked, tossing back her hair in the very annoying way she did.

I chanced a glance at Edward, but he remained totally impassive and was quick to brush off Lauren's question. "That's for me to know," he said mysteriously.

}*{

On Saturday morning I drove over to Alice's for our shopping trip. I jumped out of my truck and ran to the door, but was taken completely off guard when Edward opened it before I'd even reached for the doorbell.

"That was quick," I said, stepping through the doorway.

"Bella, I can hear that heap of junk coming from a mile away," he said, smiling my favourite crooked smile.

"Hey don't diss the truck!" I retorted, trying to poke him in the side.

He was too fast and he easily caught my hand in his, gently intertwining our fingers. He led me towards the kitchen and on the way, I heard Alice shouting from upstairs that she was going to be five minutes. It was nothing new; the girl was never on time.

"Morning, Bella," Edward's mother, Esme, greeted me and I sat myself down on the breakfast bar alongside Edward, who still managed to look sexy, even though he was wearing jeans and a plain grey T shirt.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"No, thank you," I replied and while I waited for Alice, I chatted with her about my predicament.

"I hear you haven't got your dress for prom yet," she commented.

"Yeah, Alice is helping me find one," I winced, thinking about today's shopping trip.

I heard Edward chuckle beside me and turned to him accusingly.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. From what I hear, you still need a tux. You'd better watch out or she will be after you next," I declared, which wiped the smile right off his face.

"He just needs to get round to asking the girl," Esme interrupted.

This time, I was the one frowning and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward's discomfort. For once he was actually rivalling me in the blushing stakes. With prom approaching, I couldn't deny that I had been worrying about the very issue of who Edward would be taking to prom. I tried not to spend too much time thinking about it, but my suspicions were that it was between Victoria and Carmen, who were, without doubt, two of the most beautiful girls in our year.

"I'm ready," declared Alice as she waltzed into the kitchen a few minutes later, sounding way too chirpy for first thing in the morning.

"Let's get this over with," I groaned, forcing myself to get up and walk over to join her.

"I'll see you later," Edward said, sending a sympathetic smile my way.

}*{

With the countdown to graduation and prom well under way, speculation was rife over who Edward would be taking to prom. While he showed no intention of putting the rumours to rest, I was beyond curious. In every one of our remaining study sessions, I had tried to work up the courage to ask him about it, but unfortunately, I never had the guts to go through with it and each time I would chicken out at the last minute. Maybe today would be different though. It marked a milestone: it was our last ever study night.

However, by the end of the evening, I was left feeling a little bit disappointed. I don't know what I expected but our evening had been pretty ordinary and a little bit awkward too. I tried to put it down to last-minute nerves about finals, but if I was being honest with myself, I was genuinely concerned.

In the whole time we'd been friends, I'd never known Edward to be so quiet. It was one thing to be concentrating on his test, but it was another thing altogether when he was fidgeting around in his seat, obviously distracted.

Moreover, he'd been acting kind of strange all day. Several times, I'd caught him giving me strange looks in the hallway between classes and I'd felt his eyes on me all the way through lunch. Something was definitely going on. I studied him for a moment, before looking away, but when his silence continued, I finally decided to voice my concerns.

I started hesitantly, "Um...Edward?"

He looked up immediately.

"You seem a little quiet today. Is everything okay?" I asked and for some reason I was afraid of what his answer would be.

"Yeah I uh...yeah, I'm fine," he stammered, quickly returning his gaze back to the paper in front of him.

I didn't mention it again; whatever it was that had him so distracted, it was obvious that he didn't want to discuss it with me.

At the end of the night, I said goodbye to everyone and I was just about to walk away, when a hand caught my wrist.

"Bella, wait. I have a question to ask you."

I turned to face Edward and was slightly nervous to see him bearing down on me with an uneasy look in place.

"Do you want to go to prom with me?" he blurted out suddenly.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Astonished, I stared at him in surprise, for several moments before I finally found my voice.

"What? I don't understand. Why?" I asked, still bewildered.

"Who else would I want to go to prom with but you?"

He looked genuine, but I wasn't convinced. He'd probably left it too late to ask whomever he really wanted to go with and now she'd already got a date lined up.

I felt a flash of exasperation. "Come off it, Edward, you're hardly short of offers!"

"But I want to go with you," he said in a strange voice.

He was probably only asking me because he felt sorry for me. Not one guy had asked me to prom, though it was hardly surprising.

"Please, don't pity me," I pleaded.

"Jesus Christ, Bella, I'm not!" he exclaimed, fisting a hand in his hair. "I want to go with you, but if you don't want to go with me, then fine."

I felt instantly remorseful.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were only asking me because you felt sorry for me or because I was your second choice," I mumbled.

Edward shook his head disapprovingly before he put his arms around me and hugged me for a long time.

"You could never be second best, Bella," he said softly and gave me a gentle squeeze.

I didn't want to let him go, but a little while later, I sighed and pulled away.

"Is that a yes, then?" he asked, with a hopeful smile.

"Yes, I'd like that," I replied, as we stood staring at each other for a few moments.

"I'd better go," I said, trying not to sound too disappointed.

"I will see you tomorrow in gym," he smirked.

"Thanks for reminding me," I groaned and gave him a gentle punch.

"Just think, it's your last ever gym class," he said trying to reassure me, but it had the adverse effect.

You see for all my bitching and moaning about the dreaded gym class, there was something rather enjoyable about having Edward there to catch me when I fell.

I gave him a quick wave before I left. I was smiling to myself like a lunatic the entire journey home, because by some miracle I was going to prom with Edward Cullen!

}*{

Time flew by as I crammed for finals and unfortunately I didn't see Edward nearly as much as I would have liked, but maybe that was a good thing. I was probably reading way too much into the whole invitation to prom thing anyway. I didn't want to get my hopes up by thinking it meant anything more than going as friends.

Besides, he was certainly acting no differently around me than usual. The fact was that we were going as friends- end of story. However, that didn't mean I wasn't ridiculously excited.

Finals came and went, and before I knew it, the big day had finally arrived. Despite my excitement though, I couldn't help feeling a little bit nervous.

Thankfully, Alice came round to help me get ready and after an hour of poking, prodding, detangling and curling, she declared her work complete. She pulled out the mirror for me to have a look.

"Now you're ready," she beamed.

"Oh, wow!" I exclaimed, admiring myself in the mirror.

I barely recognised the person staring back at me; my hair was mostly pinned back with a few loose curls framing my face, and my make up, while minimal, was flawless. Alice had done an incredible job, I thought, before I turned my attention to the dress. It was a royal-blue gown that made my skin look healthy, rather than its usual sickly shade of pale. The bodice hinted at cleavage, but it was nothing too scandalous and the detailing was simple and delicate. It was nothing flamboyant, and that was exactly what I had wanted.

I'd loved it when I'd first tried it on, but now, combined with the hair and make up, I actually felt quite pretty. I wondered what Edward would think when he saw me; I hoped that he would be impressed.

I turned back to look at Alice, with a beam, "Thank you so much."

"Well, I've got to make you perfect for tonight. I have a feeling it's going to be a very special night for you," she said with a wink. "Now I must go and make myself beautiful for Jazzy. I want you to relax. Edward wont be long."

She hurried out of the door but despite her reassurance, it felt like an eternity before Edward eventually pulled up outside my house.

I was grateful when I saw there was no limo. He knew how much I hated being the centre of attention and that I would do anything to avoid it. Besides that, his Volvo was his pride and joy and I couldn't deny him the pleasure of arriving in his precious car. I went to the door to meet him and was relieved that Charlie was working late tonight. I could only imagine the embarrassing talk Edward would have been subjected to had my father been there to greet him.

The moment he stepped out of the car, I was temporarily stunned. He was so handsome in his suit that I was not only speechless, but motionless too. I only became more transfixed the nearer he got. When he reached me, he studied me for a moment and much to my relief, he seemed impressed. In fact, he didn't actually say anything for a few moments.

"You look beautiful," he said eventually.

I smiled, secretly thrilled by the effect I was having on him.

"I don't look like me," I commented and he started shaking his head.

"You've always been beautiful, Bella," he said softly and handed me a beautiful corsage.

"I know it's cheesy, but I thought...well…I wanted to do this properly," he stuttered adorably.

"Thanks, that's really thoughtful of you," I replied, while desperately trying to calm the fluttering in my chest. However, the pounding only increased when he placed his hand on the small of my back and looked down at me encouragingly.

"Shall we go?" he asked softly, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

I nodded and he ushered me towards the car.

As we drove, we didn't speak, but we didn't have to. The moment was already perfect with Edward's hand resting in mine the whole way. When we pulled up outside the venue, he stopped the car and got out and walked round to my door.

"Come on," he encouraged, offering me his hand and guiding me towards the entrance.

When we reached the main doors, I suddenly felt rather self-conscious. Edward noticed and he turned to face me. I blushed when he reached up to stroke my cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

"You have nothing to be worried about, Bella," he soothed. "You look beautiful and I'm incredibly proud to be here with you."

I stared back at him, completely stunned and dazed by his words.

"Ready?" he asked a few moments later.

I nodded, taking a deep breath as I gave him a small smile, and he took my hand in his leading me inside. The hall was beautifully decorated, but I was less focussed on the décor and far more interested in the gorgeous guy at my side. Edward held the admiring stares of every single female present, but not once did he appear distracted by any of the girls lusting after him. In fact, he actually seemed rather embarrassed by all the attention he received. He pulled me tighter against him as he easily manoeuvred us through the crowd.

We bumped into a few people he knew from the football team, but it didn't take us long to locate the others and we spotted Alice and Jasper at the far side of the room talking with Angela and Ben.

Despite my earlier apprehensions, I had a wonderful evening. Edward and I were silent for the most part, though it wasn't an uncomfortable silence; if anything, it was peaceful. He held my hand the entire time and whenever I looked up at him, I got lost in his shining emerald eyes. My only concern was that he seemed a little nervous and unsure, but then again, we all were. It was the end of high school and nothing would be the same after tonight. Most of us were going our own separate ways and I doubted that I would see many of these people after tonight.

I had just finished chatting with Angela from my Math class, when Edward touched my elbow.

"Come with me," he said, taking my arm and drawing me away from the others.

"Where are we going?" I asked confused by his strange behaviour.

He didn't give me an answer, he just took my wrist and steered me toward the dance floor.

I froze.

"Dance with me, Bella," he pleaded but I shook my head adamantly.

Dancing was a sure fire way to ensure disaster to a near perfect night.

"Edward, you know better than anyone else that I can't dance," I protested, but he merely smiled at my defiance.

"I'll show you the correct way to dance now."

He lifted my hand to the back of his neck, where it rested against the hair I'd dreamed about running my fingers through. His hands settled around my waist and I found myself resting my head against his chest. Unfortunately I wasn't exaggerating earlier when I said I couldn't dance. The first few steps were a disaster and I trod on Edward's toes repeatedly. Why couldn't I just be good at one thing?

"Sorry," I muttered against his chest, as I got progressively worse.

I felt Edward's gaze on me throughout, but I didn't dare to look up at him when he was this close.

"I'm sorry. This is useless," I sighed, when I once again trampled all over his feet.

Reluctantly, I started to pull away, but his grip tightened on my waist, keeping me there.

"Try again," he pleaded and brought out the pouting expression that always made me cave.

"Please?"

It was impossible to deny him when he looked so adorable.

"Fine," I sighed in defeat, before muttering under my breath, "But it's your toes that will get crushed,"

He either didn't hear or he chose to ignore me.

Although I continued to stumble my way around the dance-floor, it somehow felt easier to be dancing with Edward, who moved us gracefully around the floor with ease. I let go of my inhibitions and enjoyed the moment.

Miraculously, as the song continued, I made fewer mistakes.

"You're getting good at this," he said encouragingly.

I didn't believe him; no doubt he was only trying to make me feel better. I glanced up at him, unconvinced, but I was instantly distracted by the expression on his face. He was smiling more widely than I'd ever seen him smile before and his mouth was so close to mine that I felt the warmth of his breath tickling my face. I blushed and quickly looked away, hoping he didn't notice the effect he had on me. Strangely enough though, I was disappointed when the song came to an end.

"There," he said. "Was that so difficult?"

I glanced up at him and my heart rate increased when I noticed his eyes were focussed on my lips. They involuntarily twitched in response to his heated gaze and suddenly I was overcome by how good it felt to be in his arms. The moment felt so perfect, so right, like this was where I was meant to be forever. My stomach was going crazy with butterflies and my heart began pounding frantically in my chest.

Oh how I wanted to kiss him! My lips were tingling all over just waiting. The anticipation was killing me, yet I was frozen on the spot, unable to make an advance. Thankfully I didn't have to and after what felt like a lifetime of waiting and hoping, he brought his mouth down towards mine. Just as our lips were about to touch, I heard someone clear their throat behind us.

Disappointment flooded through me and it seemed that Edward felt the same way, as he cursed softly and closed his eyes for a moment in irritation, before we both faced the source of the disruption. Almost instantly I felt Edward move behind me and tighten his grip on my waist

"Jacob? What you doing here?" I asked, completely taken aback.

I had known Jacob Black since we were children, thanks to my dad's close friendship with his dad, Billy.

"Hello to you, too. I'm good, thanks for asking," he said sarcastically.

"Sorry, you just caught me by surprise," I explained. I might have been a little more sociable, had he not interrupted what was sure to be the best moment of my life.

"I can see that," he replied, looking at Edward briefly.

"But that still doesn't explain what your doing here. You don't even go to our school," I went on.

"I'm here with Leah," he explained.

Leah was one of the girls from the reservation, who had started coming to our school late last year. I already knew her from the times I used to visit Jacob and Billy with my dad. You see, a few years ago, Jacob and I had been fairly close. That was, until he decided he wanted more than just friendship between the two of us. Things just hadn't been the same since I turned him down.

It didn't help matters that he was constantly criticising my other friends. Edward in particular always came in for the most slack. And looking between the two of them now, it was clear to see that there was no love lost there.

Hoping to break the intense stare off they were exchanging I turned towards Edward and asked, "Shall we get a drink?"

"Sure," he replied and tightened his grip around my waist.

"Maybe we could share a dance later on?" Jacob asked casually and I felt Edward stiffen beside me.

"Trust me, it's safer for you if we don't," I replied sarcastically.

I quickly said goodbye to Jacob and went with Edward towards the refreshments table. On the way, he turned to face me, his beautiful eyes staring into mine.

"Do you fancy getting out of here? I think we need to talk," he said softly.

I nodded in agreement. I could have been wrong, but I sensed that we were on the verge of something major. Something had definitely been brewing between the two of us all night, and it needed resolving.

Edward let go of one of my hands and stroked my cheek tenderly. "I'll just go find Alice and Jasper to tell them we're off."

He stroked my cheek one last time before he went off in search for them.

While I waited for Edward to return I kept replaying that almost kiss in my mind. Surely, the feelings I'd felt when we had nearly kissed couldn't have been one-sided, could they? He had been affectionate with me all night, always holding on to me and constantly sending me little looks and I definitely hadn't imagined those. For once in my life, I felt strangely upbeat.

I was too distracted thinking about Edward, to notice the figure behind me and I jumped a mile when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to find Jacob looming over me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said right next to my ear, his eyes gleaming as he looked down at me.

"Can I speak to you outside for a moment?" he asked, looking hopeful.

"Actually I was just leaving," I replied, looking around anxiously for Edward. Something about Jacob's persistence alarmed me, but I was probably just being silly.

He looked down at me pleadingly, "Please? It will only take a minute."

I glanced around the room for Edward again, but he was nowhere to be seen; neither were Alice or Jasper for that matter and so I reluctantly found myself agreeing to Jacob's request.

"Okay, but you've only got two minutes before I really need to find Edward."

His smile vanished the second I mentioned Edward's name, but it wasn't long before it returned. He led me towards the main entrance and continued outside to escape the loud music and clutter of the crowd. I followed, thinking that it would be an ideal place to meet Edward as he was bound to come looking for me shortly anyway.

I waited patiently for Jacob to explain what this was all about, but he seemed in no great rush and instead just stood there staring down at me for a while.

"What did you want, Jake?" I asked when my patience started wavering.

He smiled, then planted a hand on my hip and started dragging me towards him. Even when I brushed his hand aside, his cocky smile didn't falter.

"I think you know what I want, Bella," he drawled, his gaze lingering on my body.

Okay, maybe it wasn't such a good idea coming out here after all.

"Look, I haven't got time for this, Jacob. I need to go," I said impatiently.

I tried to brush past him, hoping that he would get the hint, but I was wrong.

Instead, he took hold of my shoulders and spun me round to face him. When I tried to push him off, his fingers bit into my skin.

"Please, Bella. Stop fighting this and give us a chance," he pleaded.

"Us?" I screeched outraged. "There is no 'us'. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"But..."

"You need to get over this," I cut him off before he had chance to finish his sentence. I was angry now and I'd heard his pleading too many times before to let it go this time. "I like you as a friend, Jacob, but if you keep pursuing this then, I don't think we can even be friends anymore!"

When he released my wrist, I thought I had finally gotten through to him, but it was only for a second, and then he took hold of both my shoulders and stared down at me angrily.

"What makes you think you're so special? You're not even that pretty anyway," he spat.

I was temporarily hurt by his remarks before my own anger kicked in.

"What happened to you, Jake? We used to be friends."

His eyes narrowed in obvious anger. "Me? What about you? You and those squeaky clean Cullens!"

"Don't start with all that again," I complained, struggling against his hold but his grip only tightened.

"Can't have a thing said against your precious Cullens, can you?" he sneered, leaning in closely with an angry look on his face. "I see the way you look at him, Bella. You do realize that you'll never be good enough for him, right? The perfect Edward Cullen." His voice was bitter. "What do I care, anyway? You're nothing, Bella, nothing! Cullen can have you."

He dropped my arm suddenly and stomped back towards the party, but before he got back inside, the door burst open and Alice and Edward came rushing towards us.

"I might have known," Jacob muttered sourly when he spotted Edward.

Edward didn't look any happier to see him, and as soon as he saw the expression on my face, he was in Jacob's face in the blink of an eye.

"Edward, no!" Alice warned as the two of them squared up against each other.

I looked at Edward to find him was absolutely fuming. They had just started pushing and shoving when Jasper arrived in the nick of time to hold Edward back from doing any serious damage.

"This isn't over, Cullen," Jacob warned.

"You're right, it isn't," Edward bit back, looking angrier than I'd ever seen him.

Jacob stormed off, towards the parking lot this time, and Edward immediately came up to me and took my face in his hands.

"Are you okay?" he asked, brushing away a few stray tears I didn't realise had leaked from my eyes. I smiled at his tenderness and nodded back.

His hands reached for mine and he gently intertwined our fingers, but when his gaze dropped to our joined hands, his expression turned furious again.

"Where did you get these from?" he asked, pointing toward the red blotches on my skin.

I pulled my hands out of his and tried to hide them behind my back.

"What happened?" Alice whispered, before Edward interrupted her.

"Let me," he said, looking across at her seriously.

Alice instantly admitted defeat and as soon as she and Jasper were back inside, Edward took hold of my hand and held it gently.

"I need to know what happened," he told me in an urgent voice. "I swear to God, if he has hurt you, I will kill him."

"Please it was nothing," I tried to deny it, but his concern was obvious.

"Then why are you crying? Did he..." he paused, then asked through gritted teeth, "did he touch you against your will?"

"No, it's wasn't that," I quickly reassured him.

"Then please tell me what happened. I'm going out of my mind here. You need to talk to me, Bella," he started to fret.

"He didn't hurt me, not physically," I deflected, hoping that I could bypass the fact that Jacob's words hurt a lot more than his physical strength ever could.

But Edward was onto it like a shot, sounding even more panicked now, "What do you mean, not physically?"

"Don't make me say it," I begged, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

Edward squeezed my shoulder gently as he said, "Bella, I need to know, please just tell me."

He had reverted to begging now. I looked into his eyes, which proved my downfall; I couldn't fight any more.

"He said that I was nothing," I paused and took a deep breath, "and that I'd never be good enough for you."

The last words came out as a painful whisper, but seeing the shock on his face, I knew he'd heard me. His expression went from concerned to furious in a matter of seconds and I could see anger in his eyes as his fists clenched at his sides.

"That's it, I've had enough of his shit," he announced before taking off in the direction Jacob had gone.

"Edward, wait. Please don't do anything stupid," I pleaded, desperately trying to catch up with him.

He paused and turned around to face me, his expression softening as he looked at me with such emotion that I thought I would melt.

"You've always been good enough, Bella." he whispered, hesitating for a fraction of a second before rushing off.

Thankfully Jasper and Alice were watching from inside and sprang into action. While Jasper took off after Edward, Alice appeared beside me, giving me a hug and whispering words of comfort.

"Don't worry, Jasper will stop him from doing anything stupid," she soothed as she began guiding me away.

}*{

It was all a bit of a blur after that and I barely remembered the journey back to the house; I was too worried about Edward to think about anything else. When we pulled into the driveway, there was no sign of his Volvo so I knew that he was still out. I just hoped Jasper would talk him out of doing anything reckless. Alice had already arranged it so that I would be sleeping over at hers tonight, so I went straight up to the spare room, where all my stuff was laid out. I quickly changed into my pyjamas and sat down on the bed while I anxiously waited for news.

Alice tried to get me to relax, but I couldn't. I was so worked up thinking about how mad Edward had been when he went after Jacob that I couldn't sit still. I was beyond relieved when we finally received some news from Jasper.

"He's fine," Alice read from a text message on her phone. "Jasper managed to calm him down. They're on their way back now."

She moved to sit next to me on the bed and reached down to take my hand.

"Regardless of whatever happened with Jacob, this thing with you and Edward has gone on for far too long already."

She didn't need to expand; I knew exactly what she was talking about. She had been sending knowing looks between Edward and I all night long.

"Do you think I don't know that? I love him, Alice," I blurted out, feeling a sense of relief wash over me as I finally said the words aloud.

She smiled and gave my hand a gentle squeeze, "You don't have to tell me, silly, but you do need to tell Edward how you feel."

"I want to," I nodded. "I'm just so scared. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he only loves me as a friend? I mean he's never shown any interest in me before."

Alice giggled and I was hurt by her insensitivity until she quickly reassured me.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I don't mean to laugh at you," she apologised. "It's just that you're so clueless, it's hilarious. What do you mean he's never showed any interest in you? Look at the facts, Bella; he's always there for you; when you're together he hangs off your every word; and don't forget those pointless little study sessions." She giggled then. "Plus he asked you to prom. Honestly what more can the guy do to get your attention?"

I sat in silence for a moment, trying to process what she had said. It was a lot to take in. Everything she was saying sounded to good to be true—what if she was wrong?

Of course, being Alice, she read my concerns like a book.

"He's my brother, Bella, I know how he feels about you," she explained gently. "Edward may be confident on the football field, but when it comes to you, he's just as scared as you are, if not more so. Did you know that it took him two whole months to work up the courage to ask you to prom? Two months, Bella! You need to tell him, write him a letter if you have to. Just do something already. I can't stand Edward moping around the house like an emo anymore!"

I stared at her in complete shock. I had been so busy obsessing over my own flaws and inadequacies that I'd never contemplated the possibility of Edward feeling the same way about me. In the past, I'd hidden behind our friendship and fooled myself into thinking that that was enough for me, but the truth was that I'd hated staying silent for so long. It was literally eating away at me and I wasn't going to let it go on anymore. I knew what I needed to do.

"I will try," I promised.

"That's all I ask," she smiled and gave my hands a gentle squeeze. "Now, I'm going over to Jasper's to give you guys some privacy."

She gave me a hug and told me that everything would be all right before she hurried out the door.

After she'd gone I sat there for a while not really knowing what to do with myself. It was a massive step for me to open up about my feelings, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that Alice was right. I knew with absolute certainty that I would never be able to tell him exactly how I felt when he was standing in front of me, so writing a letter seemed to be the best option. I grabbed the nearest pen and paper and quickly started writing before I lost my nerve.

Edward,

There's something I need to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for ages, but I've been too much of a coward to do it.
The thing is, I love you. Actually, I think I've loved you since kindergarten, but I didn't think you could ever love me back so I never said anything to you about it. The truth is, I'm just not happy being your friend any more, I need more than that and I really hope that you feel the same way (if not, then maybe you could just pretend you never saw this letter?).

Love,

Bella.

When I was finished, I dropped the note off in Edward's room before I hurried back and nervously waited for him to return.

Not long after, I heard the front door slam shut and footsteps making their way upstairs. I waited and waited for what felt like hours, but was likely only a few minutes for Edward to come and find me. I slowly started driving myself insane with all the questions running through my head. Had he seen it? Was he reading it now? What was his reaction?

When I couldn't wait any longer, I got to my feet and started walking down the hallway until I was outside his bedroom. I took a deep breath, but just as I was about to knock, the door swung wide open and I was face to face with a rather surprised Edward. He had removed his jacket and was down to just his pants and shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons undone, but he still looked incredible.

My eyes returned to his but I couldn't read his expression.

When I didn't move he stepped closer towards me and took my hand as he guided me through the doorway and into his room. We just stood there staring at each other, neither of us really knowing what to say or do. There was a long silence and I wondered if he was going to say anything or just keep staring at me. This was certainly not how I imagined this going and for a horrible moment, I thought he was going to reject me with the good old, 'I love you, but only as a friend' line.

Finally I opened my mouth to speak, to say something, anything, that would break the awkward silence that had descended between the two of us.

"Look I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything," I apologised.

Edward stepped in closer and his hands immediately went to my face.

"No," he said. "Don't apologise, but please, let me go first. I won't be able to get this out if you talk." He paused and I prepared myself for the worst. He took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this. But here goes... I have come close to telling you how I feel so many times, but I never knew what to say. You're always telling me that I dazzle people, but the truth is that you dazzle me all the time without even realising it. It's your laugh, your blush, even your clumsiness," he laughed lightly. "I can tell you the exact moment I fell in love with you, Bella; it was the first time we kissed."

"But you avoided me afterwards," I cut in.

"You've got to understand that it was a big thing for me. You were my best friend and I didn't know how to deal with what I was feeling," he admitted. "I only avoided you to keep from blurting out my feelings. I didn't know how to act around you, but when I finally found a way of being near you, I hoped you would realise how I felt. I tried to give you some space, but in the meantime it didn't stop me from giving you hints. The others saw it straight away, but you," he laughed, "you really can be quite dense sometimes, Bella."

I was left speechless for a while, thoroughly dazzled. I couldn't believe that Edward had liked me for so long and I never noticed it before. Still, I couldn't allow myself to believe it.

"What are you saying Edward?"

"Surely by now you must know how I feel about you?" he asked, then shook his head when I continued to stare up at him in shock and said softly, "I love you, Bella,"

I couldn't say anything in reply because suddenly he was kissing me and any doubts I'd had about his feelings disappeared the second his lips touched mine. He kissed me so softly, so reverently, that it was as if all the kisses he'd never given me were concentrated in that one kiss. It started off soft and gentle but quickly turned more desperate. His hands found my back, crushing me even closer to him and when he ran his tongue against my lower lip, begging for entrance, I accepted immediately, getting lost in the taste and smell of him. I heard myself moan, but I was too overcome with desire to be embarrassed.

The kiss went on and on, and we stopped only to breathe, before we eventually parted.

"I never knew," I whispered, feeling like the stupidest person on the planet.

How had I been so blind? How had I doubted him or his feelings for me?

"I love you, Edward. I've loved you for so long," I said, feeling close to tears at all the emotion running through me.

He grabbed my hand and brought it to rest over his heart, while his other hand slid around my waist. He pulled me hard against him again, as lips captured mine in a hungry kiss that robbed me of my breath.

Then suddenly his mouth left mine.

"Bella," he said huskily. "We need to stop. Otherwise..."

"I want you," I declared in a voice I barely recognised as my own, as I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to my lips.

"Tell me to stop and I will," he said in between kisses.

I nodded my head, unwilling to break the kiss, not even for a second. I wanted him so desperately and knew he felt exactly the same. Even though we were moving fast, I knew in my gut that this was what I wanted more than anything else in the whole world.

Everything seemed to happen so fast after that.

One minute we were kissing, the next I found myself on the bed, trapped beneath his hard body. The feel of him on top of me was indescribably exciting, and I could feel the heat of his body through our combined layers of clothing. Soon we were a mass of hands, both desperately trying to get even closer to each other. We pulled apart momentarily to tug at the layers of clothing that were standing in our way.

Edward pulled off my PJ bottoms and drew my T shirt over my head, quickly tossing it to the other side of the room. In turn, I undid his shirt buttons and with shaking hands, I eventually managed to pull the damn thing off, revealing his beautiful chest.

God he was gorgeous.

I was too mesmerized by his hard lean body to continue working on getting his pants off and his body left mine temporarily to finish the job. He was back seconds later, leaning over me and supporting himself with his arms as he gazed down at me passionately.

Moments later, I felt Edward's hands find the clasp of my bra, unhooking it and tugging gently. I heard his low moan of approval as the garment fell away from my skin, but I was nervous and feeling extremely self-conscious. I was about to grab the comforter to cover myself when he reached out to stop me.

"Please don't hide from me, Bella. You're beautiful," he said, resting his forehead against mine.

The sight of his expression alone told me that I was desired, and when he looked at me like I was his everything, just as he was mine, all my fears melted away. I would never be a supermodel, but I was beautiful to Edward and that was all that mattered.

"You make me feel beautiful," I replied, not caring how corny it sounded.

I reached up and threaded my fingers in his hair, bringing his face down to mine, capturing his lips in a slow burning kiss. A few seconds later, his tongue met mine and his fingers started to drift lower towards my breasts. However, he seemed to realise what we were doing, he pulled away slightly, but kept hold of my body.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?" he asked, concern written across his face as he blushed. "I want your first time to be special for you. I want you to have everything." He then gestured around his messy room. "This is hardly very romantic though."

I wanted to reach out and give him a big hug. His consideration was so sweet, but I knew what I wanted and I told him as much.

"You being my first is all that matters to me, not some stupid materialistic things that mean absolutely nothing," I said, looking him straight in the eye so he would see that I meant every word I said.

Despite my assurance, he hesitated just a second too long for my liking, so I swallowed my nerves and took hold of his hands and placed them on my breasts. My boldness seemed to make his mind up and once again his lips captured mine more fiercely this time. I met his tongue eagerly and we both fought for dominance for a while, before his mouth eventually left mine.

He left a trail of kisses from my jaw, my neck, and across my collarbone, as he slowly ran his palm across my chest.

His touch caused butterflies to start fluttering deep in my stomach and I gasped when his mouth drifted down and found one of my hardened nipples. He started off slow, with light kisses and touches, and I felt the moisture forming in my panties when he took one into his mouth and sucked gently.

As his touches grew bolder I arched myself against his stroking hand. He groaned thickly in response and looked up at me with blazing eyes as his fingers trailed down painfully slowly towards the hem of my underwear, to where I needed him most. He paused and looked at me for approval. I nodded, feeling like I would die if he didn't touch me soon.

"I'm not sure what to do," he shyly admitted, and I found that I was a little relieved that he was just as nervous as I was.

"We can learn together," I said, feeling confident.

He leaned forward to kiss me softly, before he slid his fingers into my panties, caressing me intimately.

At first I was embarrassed that he was touching me, but I quickly got lost in the sensations he created with those talented fingers of his. For all his inexperience, he certainly knew all the right buttons to press and in seconds I was panting and witheringly beneath him. My breathing quickened and my moans became louder and louder. But still I needed more.

"Edward, please," I begged, not really knowing what I was asking for.

Thankfully he seemed to understand what I needed and his fingers sped up their efforts, bringing with it the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced.

When it was over, I lay there panting and gazing up at Edward and the proud little smile that was tugging at the corners of his lips. As I came down from my high, it was only then that I realised he still had his underwear on.

Feeling brave, I tugged his boxers down, but as soon as I had done so, insecurity sprang up in my mind. This was the first time I had seen a guy naked and suddenly I wasn't sure I could go through with it. What if he didn't fit? What if it hurt too much? I could feel my cheeks heating up with embarrassment at the thought, but I still couldn't look away from his naked body.

"Please don't be embarrassed love," Edward said softly, reaching out to caress my face, easing my fears with his gentle tone. "I know you're scared, I am too, but we'll do this together, okay? I'll be as gentle as I can, and if at any time you want to stop, we will."

I smiled at his thoughtfulness and slid my hands into his hair as I brought his mouth down on mine. I could have quite happily stayed there kissing Edward forever but from the feel of the erection that was rubbing against me, I knew he needed his release just as much as I had.

I reached up to run my hands across his glorious chest. This time it was my turn to be nervous.

"You'll have to tell me what to do," I said shyly as I ran my fingers down his six-pack, slowly heading south. I felt him shiver beneath me and I smiled, but he captured my wrist and withdrew my hand before I had the chance to return the favour.

"This is all about you, Bella."

"But you haven't..." I started, before he cut me off and shook his head adamantly.

"Let me look after you," he said, leaning over to kiss me sweetly.

We spent a few minutes kissing before he pulled back and reached over to retrieve something from his bedside drawer. It was a condom.

He ripped open the packet and after he put it on he lowered himself down onto the bed and pulled me close. I raised an eyebrow at him teasingly.

"So you were planning on getting laid, huh?" I said, trying to keep a straight face.

He panicked, "God no! I swear to you..."

I placed a finger on his lips to silence him, "I'm kidding, Edward. I'm just glad that you're prepared, because although I love you I certainly don't want a baby at 18."

"But someday, maybe?" he said quietly.

The emotion in his eyes was so powerful, that I couldn't speak. I knew that if I tried I'd burst into tears. Instead I clutched at his shoulders and drew him on top of me.

"I love you Edward," I smiled dreamily.

"I love you, too, Bella. So much."

We took our time, kissing, tasting and exploring each other's bodies, before he spread my legs wider and settled himself between them.

He pulled away slightly and studied me for a moment. I tried to remain calm, but my body shifted nervously and he noticed.

"Are you sure this is what you want? I can wait as long as you like," he assured me and I knew he meant it.

"I fine, just nervous," I admitted.

He studied me again and for a panic-stricken moment, I thought he was having second thoughts.

Maybe this wasn't what he wanted.

"I mean we don't have to, if you don't want to," I said, biting my bottom lip.

"No, Bella, it's not that; I'm only holding back because I'm afraid I'll hurt you," he said softly.

I smiled, touched by his concern and raised my hand to his cheek.

"That's really sweet of you, Edward, but I trust you and I'm ready," I told him, my voice thick with lust.

I knew from the look in his eyes that he was beyond ready. The swollen shaft against me spoke of just how ready he was, but instead of plunging in straight away, he took his time trying to ease the tension out of my body with gentle, unhurried kisses. Slowly, he inched his way inside me and I was distracted by his tongue gently stroking mine when he thrust forward slowly. I gasped against his mouth and my whole body stiffened in reaction.

I had prepared myself for the worst, but I honestly never thought it would be that painful. There were no fireworks; just a sharp pain and a lot of discomfort. Edward was wonderful throughout; he kissed away my tears and whispered loving things to me, while he peppered kisses across my face and neck. He was so careful with me and he remained perfectly still above me while he waited for me to adjust to his size. I could see from the strain in his arms and the sweat that was forming on his forehead that he was in just as much discomfort as I was. When he pulled back a little and ran his fingers down my cheek, his concern was written all over his face.

"I'm okay now," I tried to reassure him.

"You sure?" he asked through gritted teeth.

I nodded, "Just go slow."

He kissed me again, before he finally started moving within me. I'm not going to lie and say it was enjoyable from the start. We were both young, overeager and awkward, so it was bound to take a bit of time for us to get into a rhythm that suited us both. But, Edward, bless him, was trying really hard by being gentle and taking it slowly and trying to make it special for us both. It took a little time to get there, but we managed to work out what we were meant to be doing. It was over very quickly after that and it left me wondering what all the big fuss was about.

After he rode out his orgasm, Edward collapsed on top of me, and lay there gasping for a moment, calming down from his high. Although I didn't experience the same release, I wasn't too disappointed and I wasn't naïve enough to expect fireworks the first time. That didn't matter though, it was wonderful just lying with him his arms around me

"Thank you." He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry you didn't…" his sentence drifted off, as he looked adorably nervous. "You aren't too disappointed are you?"

"You've got to be kidding me, Edward. That was amazing," I said, as I brought my face closer to his and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Yeah, it was a little uncomfortable to start with, but it was wonderful."

I mean, let's be honest, no one expects their first time to be perfect, which is why it's all about trust and being comfortable with the person you're with. And there was no one I trusted or loved more that Edward.

"Besides," I said, while running my hand down his chest, "I'm sure it will get better with practice."

}*{

The next morning, I woke up in the best possible way; Edward was nuzzling the side of my neck as he gently stroked my hair. I rolled onto my side and gazed up at him; it was difficult not to feel smug with him looking so gorgeous besides me. His eyes sparkled with mischief and his hair was the perfect example of sex hair. I couldn't contain my smirk. I propped my head up to look at him properly before something suddenly dawned on me.

"Edward..."

"Yes, love?" he answered huskily and I smiled like a lunatic on day release from the asylum.

"What did Alice mean when she called our study sessions pointless?" I asked.

"She said that, huh?" he responded, as he continued stroking my hair.

"Yes, she did. What was she talking about?" I wondered. Something about the way Alice had looked when she said that confused me.

"I had to trick you into tutoring me," Edward said with a smirk.

"You what?" I asked, thinking I must have misheard him.

He laughed, the vibrations against his chest shaking me slightly.

"Bella, I've been getting straight A's for the past two years now."

I furrowed my eyebrow slightly before it suddenly hit me, "You didn't need my help!"

He laughed heartedly. "Bella, I'm insulted that you're so surprised. The only reason I asked for your help was so that I could spend time with you."

He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss before I settled back on top of him.

Despite last night being the best night of my life, I couldn't help feeling worried.

It was all very well confessing our love to one another, but where did that leave us now, when Edward was potentially moving to the other side of the country at the end of summer? It was all very disconcerting.

"What are you worrying about now, love?" he asked, as his hand settled over my worried brow.

I looked at him wearily, asking hesitantly, "What happens now, with college, I mean?"

"What do you think happens?" he asked, dodging the question.

I shrugged, unsure how to respond.

"Bella, now that I've finally got you, I'm not letting you go. Not for anything," he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Dartmouth?" I whispered, daring to believe.

He leaned down to kiss me softly. When he pulled away a smile formed on his lips.

"My decision about Dartmouth was made a long time ago. There were just a few deciding factors to sort out. Like whether or not you would mind me tagging along."

"I'd love you to," I declared as I claimed his mouth in a hungry, demanding kiss. His tongue immediately sought mine and the lingering, luscious strokes made me want him again. As if he read my mind, Edward rolled over and took me with him. He nestled between my legs again.

"Are you not sore?" he asked as his lips went down to my neck.

I was a definitely little sore, but nothing could stop me from wanting Edward. He was gorgeous and irresistible, and best of all he was all mine.

"Never," I told him as I tilted my head back and his lips descended on mine.

Much later, I eventually fell asleep in his arms, knowing this was where I was always going to stay forever.

Authors note; Well that was a long one! Thanks for making it to the end.

That was my first and last lemon. So sorry if it wasn't that great. I just ran out of words by the end and I had to cut a lot out, including an epilogue.

Thanks to Jo, my pre reader for encouraging me not to scrap the whole thing off completely, and my incredible beta Kirsten, who made this readable.

I'd love to know what you think. So please review and make me smile:)