Tagline:
There is a phoenix within all of us.

Notes:
Set as a missing scene from the Season 6 premiere "Blind Spot"
Mild Spoilers for "Blind Spot" (6.01)
Not Beta'd

Disclaimer:
No credit was assumed for any of the characters, whether major or minor, from the Law & Order: Criminal Intent television series.
The following story is fictional and does not represent any actual person or event.

Author's Message:
This is a take on a possible missing scene from "Blind Spot" (6.01).
Happy Readings.

Detective Robert Goren knew what it felt like to be lonely. All of the emptiness, the stillness of life and the stagnation of the smog you breath from day to day. He knew fear, the thick kind that blankets your senses until they become numb. He knew relief to a certain, pagan degree, like when he found that he could keep trudging on in life with an invisible chip on your shoulder. Had you asked him about those subjects, he would have slipped out the truth. But a year ago, a month, a day ago he would have lied to you if you dared to ask him if he had ever felt emotional euphoria.

He would have answered, "Yes," nonchalantly and continued on with his previous task or focus.

But that was before.

The partnership between him and Alexandra Eames had slowly begun to degrade, deteriorate, and decay into nothingness. After their rocky engagement alongside Judge Harold Garrett they had begun to waver, their steady foundation cracked deep at the core. She never quite explained but desperately wanted to mend fences, while he never quite attempted to fix it but only wanted to hear her reasoning. Subconsciously they were pushing and pulling against their strong connection. The cases never tested their relationship after the Garrett family went to jail in matching jumpsuits. For a moment they were almost repaired, saved, if you will, by the investigation of the faulty e-mail supposedly sent by their former Captain, James Deakins, but when he sent in his resignation the bond between them began to unravel once more.

Declan Gage's introduction to One Police Plaza had been labeled as an insertion into a territory no one had ever fully explored, and his fatherly affections had irritated old wounds. The moment Eames was out of his sight Goren recognized that the new, grating tension between them was threatening to destroy them. But regardless of what had transpired in the many cases before this one, what amazed him was the fact that he knew something was off kilter after she had left for home.

Then he would have said he had no idea what the creepy, sickening feeling growling in his gut meant, but now he would say, "I knew she was in trouble."

The difference, the change that allowed him to make this distinction, was a single moment on an auspicious day pre-set in times past. He could vaguely remember that day. The sick feeling as he read the text message from his partner's abductor. The wailing of the sirens as he felt himself lose control over his body and attack Gage in the middle of the street. The echoing of his voice as he threatened his mentor for his lack on sensitivity. The emptiness of his unbalance wrecked havoc on him, and it killed him.

It was that fateful day that both poisoned and revived him. He died a painful death from the sudden tearing of his soul snapping in two and burning in a heavy flame of deep red and dark purple. Yet if you were to find the courage to pierce through the dangerous black abyss that remained, you would have found a pile of thin ashes that were the color unpolished silver.

Even the jolt from Captain Daniel Ross informing him that she had been found did not manage to resurrect him from his soulless bereavement.

Parts of his journey, to salvation, perhaps, were slightly more definite blurs on his conscious. His diaphragm pulled under his lungs as he raced past everyone and everything. He slipped on a wet patch in the sidewalk as he tried to turn between buildings and ran into a brick corner, leaving a large bruise. The damp smell of the alley stung his nostrils the moment he regained his footing. Up above the sky was a wan shade of grey. His shoes crunched on the choppy ground as he moved and his shadow was evil against the others around it. He knew his appearance was undoubtedly under par in comparison to those around him. Wrinkled, stretched, stained; he lost his tie at some point in his hollow purgatory.

The instance he saw the small excuse for a window, mere inches from the ground, the second his sight spotted that small hand reaching out, he stopped awkwardly in anticipation and stumbled. He did not feel pain as he collapsed to his hands and knees, tearing his pants, slashing his flesh and leaving cuts in his fingerprints. He reached out to touch the hand but before he could feel the skin it slipped away and into the hell within. Patrol officers were inside, along with firefighters and paramedics, saving her instead of him saving her. Fear struck his senses, sending horrifying sakes through his muscle and the sour taste of death in his stomach. Guilt twisted his chest and dug into his hands as his filthy palms slammed against his eyes. Eyelids burned with the need of tears, his teeth grinded into each other, but he could feel no pain.

Ross appeared behind him but he took no notice. "What's the situation?" demanded the captain, "What the hell's taking so damn long?"

"They had to dig through a bricked door, sir," replied a nearby uniform. "They should be bringing her up now."

No sooner had the words left his mouth did a rush of people emerge from the underground prison, amongst their midst a petite woman. Eames tried to break away, assert her independence, but when she pulled her body from their grasps she discovered her weakness without the aid of adrenaline. Goren sensed her condition and responded, pulling his head from his hands as he stood to his full height, moving with a demonic yet angelic grace to catch her frail body. She gripped to his arms as hands tried to pry her away, he defending his hold on her, and it took the wary orders of a new, non-established captain to ward them off for a moment of time.

"Calm down, boys, give them a minute," ordered Ross.

With Eames in his arms, Goren slowly lowered back to the ground in silence. Once they were sitting, he pulling her almost into his lap, she lifted her head and looked into his empty eyes, searching for something to grab on to.

"Bobby?" she choked, praying for a response.

He had no initial reaction, and that scared her more than the fate she was to face before her rescue. Tears clouded her eyes as her body grew cold despite the radical amount of heat he was giving off. She began to tremble in his arms, desperately clinging to a small glimmer of hope that he was still inside, still alive. She did not try to speak, instead forcing herself to pierce deeper into his gaze to find him. Shades of brown from different ends of the spectrum locked as they read into one another, and she found a small, lost voice in his eyes, one that was calling to her for healing. She was not sure she could save him, but she was not one to ever give up on him and was willing to try anyway. Cupping his cheeks, she pulled his face closer to hers until their foreheads were touching, until their eyes were closed

"Come back to me, Bobby…please," she whispered softly. Everything around them seemed to disappear, leaving them alone in their own private light. She took careful, deep breaths, urging him to breathe with her, to regain control on each other amongst the chaos surrounding them.

Within, he could feel a stir, like a begging for a restoration. Something was beginning to rouse underneath the ashes inside of him. It was calming, soothing. The cold of his core began to melt away, cleansing the tarnish from them, and they began to shine brightly as the color of white flashes. They started to rustle until they slowly commenced into swirling into a spiral, a thick column of warmth as the funnel of silver danced in the abyss to an inaudible tune. It was drawn to the very center, where it suddenly expanded into a bright flash of flame and emotion.

It was then that the phoenix within the man who was Robert Goren emerged for the first time.

Immediately the tears found their way into his eyes, spilling over onto his cheeks and down his face where they met his lips and tasted sweet. Ecstasy rushed from head to toe, creating intense rapture. He parted his lips to speak reassurances but could not fight the swelling of rebirth, and he released a sob through his teeth. He could feel her hands shaking as she tried to absorb the pain that seeped from him. Even with her near-death experience she wanted to be strong for him, to protect and save him from darkness that almost consumed him. But he did not want her to carry his burden and suffer any longer, so he resisted her attempts. Pulling his face away from hers, he opened his watery eyes and set them on his savior. He placed his own large hands to cup her small face, sensing the cold of her skin and the fragility of her heart. She had yet to open her eyes.

"Eames…" he said softly. His words compelled her to open her eyes, and he rested his thumbs near them in preparation for what was to follow.

"I'm…I'm here," he smiled.

Her response was instantaneous, her self control practically melting in his hands, allowing the woman behind the veil to emerge. She broke down into tears of relief, his thumbs catching every droplet as they came. Her hands fell from his face and she leaned forward sobbing, and he understood. He pulled her swiftly into his chest protectively, embracing her and soaking her fears and her sorrows, replacing them with the warmth his phoenix gave. She mumbled into his jacket, wrapping her arms around his neck for support as he shushed and rocked her in his arms. He buried his head in her hair to hide his tears as he stroked the back of her head comfortingly. They stayed as such for several moments, filling into each others empty crevasses and restoring their balance and security.

Ross' hand fell on his shoulder, and he knew it was time for her to get to the hospital. As he lifted his head to release her he spotted a perfect circle in the clouds, revealing the soft blue sky directly above the pair. Someone was smiling down upon him from amongst the heavens, and he gave them a slight, almost invisible nod.

"Thank you," he breathed quietly.

Disclaimer:
The previous story was fictional. No actual person or event was depicted.

Author's Message:
Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope your future reading are full of inspiration, wonder, and profundity.