I just felt i needed to write this.
i do not own Naruto but those feelings are mine. 100%
She could not stand it. Not anymore. What was wrong she did not know? No she did know. She just did not want to face it. Today/tomorrow everything was the same to her. Cry? No that was what weak did. She did not take into account all the night she spent crying in the toilet. She always preferred to get lost into her books. Music. It was temporary? So what? She did not mind a bit. Her family hated her. No she would never blame them. People blamed them for her. But personally she blamed herself. She was an awful daughter. She knew it. She was not the disgrace for nothing. She knew it was bound to happen. She was taught one thing… she discarded the learning not taking into knowledge it was destructing her family. Her father was ashamed of her. But kept trying to not show his disgust. Little did he know she heard everything.
"Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it Not worth it …"
She knew she was never worth it…that was why all she did was smile. She got hurt easily because she felt but she did nothing to help others. Nor did she help herself. She just continued to walk a smile plastered, heart aching, tears wanting to fall. But she was not weak. Not now never ever. What she loved most about herself was her ability to let people talk, crush her without breaking into tears before them. She would laugh sarcastically, would tell them she knew she was not worth it, so what?
They would tell her about her future, how she was bound to fail. Her father once told her
"Do you even see yourself as a citizen of the future?"
She laughed mentally. What citizen? I am never worth it.
"No father"
"What will you do when I die, how will you survive?"
I don't know, I am afraid of the future, I am afraid but I am not worth anything, I already know happiness, to be happy is not in my destiny and I accept it. I cannot be happy not when I've hurt you so much. I am sorry. Believe me I do not mean anything I've said. I am sorry for hurting you with my harsh words.
"When you will die? I'll manage. It's none of your business"
"I am your father it is my business"
How I wish only my sister was born. She is everything. Talented, strong, capable, outgoing... I am just useless. Never would be worth it. Not for me nor for others.
"I don't care; I'll see when it happens"
"HINATA"
No I am not worth it. I am meant for misery. I don't need to feel love. I only wish my emotions to disappear. No feeling, no hurt. Nothing. Just me.
I'll handle it.
I'll handle me.
Alone.