Prologue

"Man makes plans . . . and God laughs."

―Michael Chabon

I just want to say thanks Moka-girl. She inspired me to redo this story and helped me with a lot of the kinks. You're awesome!

Harry couldn't help but find it all funny in a way.

How the tables had turned so suddenly- right was now wrong and wrong was right. So many things had changed so quickly, lives ended. Lives created. Harry had learned there was more than one way to die, and there were definitely worse things than death.

Cold. Everything was so cold.

Without...without them it felt as if there was a constant dementor beside him, a chronic black cloud of misery that just didn't stop and didn't get any easier as time passed by.

Nonono. It got worse. And worse.

Harry had thought he felt pain when he grew up as an orphan. Raised underneath the rough fists and uncaring words of the Dursley's. The sharp stabs of wantwantwant that seeing his parents' faces left him with. Thought he knew all about pain. Then he saw Cedric die. And he knew he had known nothing.

Watching another take his last breath-the light's leave his eyes. It was nothing like in the movies. He remembered the fear and the desperation to do something anything to undo what had been done- and he blamed himself. Blamed himself for being selfish.

Selfish enough to not want to steal the Triwizard cup from the real Hogwarts champion. To not be in the spotlight all the time. He remembered the nightmares that summer... they had never been worse, but that might've been helped by that bastard being up and about.

Harry could scarcely remember a time where He hadn't been around, yet those days had never been clearer ever before.

So all the anger, rage, and hatred that he had for himself and his weakness was shoved at the people around him, a way to not only protect himself but to save them. From himself.

But it wasn't to be. The one person he kept, the one person he was selfish with, well...they died. Gone.

Dead.

And Harry remembered-oh he remembered quite clearly- how he had yelled, how he had tried to warn him...and that had cost him. Cost...Sirius. His first and only father-figure. An adult he could actually trust. A blast of green light, light that he remembered in the darkest of nightmares with a cold red stare, snuffed him out. Just like that. And when Harry casted the most evil of spells at the one who had stolen from him, well, the pleasure that ran down his spine was something he dared not even admit to himself.

So the tally chart was gifted with one more mark. Another mark of his failure and weakness. And Harry vowed it would never happen again. That he would be stronger, better than ever before and save those he loved. He would no longer be selfish.

But it's hard to fight the need, the want to have something of your own. So when Malfoy schemed of a way to allow Voldemort's minions into Hogwarts, he didn't try to stop him. He enjoyed his time at Hogwarts and played games, learned new things. Crushed on girls he knew he'd never be with. Joked as if there would be a tomorrow.

And he was happy. For once he felt good.

And then they entered and it was torn away. Forever.

That day still haunted Harry like nothing else. He now knew that things could always be worse and wasn't that such a joke? That he finally realized his mistakes when it was too late to rectify them? That he wanted to do something when that chance had already been stolen from him?

They had come on October 31st. When spirits were high and awareness was low. Harry distinctly remembered that when they came running into the Great Hall he'd been chewing on the last part of his favorite food- treacle tart.

He didn't like treacle tart anymore.

They had slaughtered them. The teachers tried...but against that many highly skilled witches and wizards you just couldn't protect a mass population. They had locked the doors immediately, their eyes gleaming and teeth shining like rabid dogs.

...Surrender now and you shan't be touched. Surrender, and no magical blood need be spilt. Do not force my hand, for Lord Voldemort does not forgive. Or forget...

It had been rather practical the way they dealt with it. No matter how fearsome their expressions, they were dogs. And dogs followed Master's orders. Of course it didn't start out that way...first the teachers attacked. Spells were sent from either side, many students being caught in the crossfire.

Eventually the spells on the doors were broken down and students ran free, tears falling from their fear-filled eyes. Screams echoed throughout the halls...and Harry was afraid. For if they had entered here, where on Earth was safe?

So they ran away, desperately trying to find a way out. Teacher after teacher fell to the hands of the Dark, some quickly and others...slowly. The fight seemed to last forever, but eventually their numbers dwindled until there was no choice.

Hogwarts could not be saved.

His...his home had been stolen. Taken from him.

All the happy times...everything decent about his life. Tarnished. Made unclean by a sadistic psychopath.

And for what? War? To win?

There were no winners in war. Just survivors.

And Harry didn't even know if the survivors were the winners anymore.

Not everyone he cared for had died at the battle. No, Hermione and Ron made it out with him, along with Neville and a few other Gryffindors, along with many other children Harry didn't know and didn't care to know.

To be honest, Harry really hadn't lost anyone at the Battle. Except his home of course. But Harry could accept that.

Home was where the heart was and if his heart was with anyone it was with his two best friends, the two most important people in his life. He wasn't the only one who knew that though. Yes, his love was a weakness he knew that, but he couldn't stop it now. No. He just couldn't.

And that was his mistake. Allowing himself to be selfish AGAIN.

He knew it was wrong, wrong to rely on them- to not want to be alone all the time. To not want to face death and destruction without one of their brilliant faces to remind him why this was worth it. Why it was alright to end the lives of those he didn't even know.

They faced so many battles together, learned the most powerful light spells that cut through their dark shields like butter. Together they were unstoppable.

Then Ron died.

It had been pretty anticlimactic actually. It wasn't even mid-battle. No, it was after, after they had one. It had been a routine sweep through Diagon. While Hogsmeade and Hogwarts had been taken long before then, Diagon Alley had remained there's. A refuge for those not wishing to submit under His wrath.

You didn't have to join, just be neutral and you were welcome.

But the Death Eaters had snuck their way in, ambushing them like the cunning snakes they were. But the Light was strong, and they obliterated them. But not all. While cleaning up, a single Death Eater had sent a silent cutting curse at Ron. Straight across his throat- red blood making his ginger locks look dull in comparison.

Harry remembered the feel of the crimson liquid splashing across his face.

Beside him Hermione had screamed utterly horrified at what had occurred. She rushed through all the numerous healing spells they had all learned, whispering many even he didn't know. But he didn't care. Ron...Ron was gone.

He knew the second that blood had splattered and he caught Ron's glance for- for the last time. Those cornflower blue eyes had flickered, and died out immediately after, showing that their light was gone.

Gone forever.

And Harry didn't cry, he didn't shed a tear. No, he strode straight to the vermin responsible and pummeled him until his face was unrecognizable and he began to choke on his own spit and blood.

And then he crunched his neck with his foot, not sparing him a second glance.

He now stood alone. Eyes bright and unfeeling, his face no longer bruised, but dirt and blood covering it still. His soft leather boots made no sound as he crossed the wet sidewalk, rain splattering harshly on himself and the ground. The rain and gloomy atmosphere reflected his inner self too well, and he found himself sneering.

He couldn't even pretend he was happy? That he was just taking a short stroll before making his way home to his family? No, that would be too good for the great Harry Potter.

He kicked a stone in his path half-heartedly, the sneer slipping from his features like the rain from his chin.

What a joke. The Great Harry Potter. Savior of the Wizarding World. Ha bloody ha.

A giggle almost forced it's way from his mouth, but merely came as a soft sigh, betraying what he felt within. He was just so tired. After so many months of constant fighting, constant death- he just needed something else. Somewhere to properly grieve.

So far he had held back...first with-with Ron, he had stayed strong for Herm-her, so she could let it out. Because she deserved it. And it had been fine. They worked well together, both untiring in their dedication to end the Monster who had taken everything from them. Their lives, their happiness, their freedom.

Yes, they worked well together.

They hadn't talked, no not with the obvious hollow space between them. Their missing piece. The loss.

They never talked about what had happened, or even about anything remotely personal. Everything was about the war. And that's how they liked it. But just a few short weeks ago...well. Harry regretted not talking to her now.

But the past was the past and here was now and Harry refused to wallow in the guilt and sadness. Not until his job was done.

So he continued walking, his sudden determination quickening his stride and tightening his hands into fists within his coat. He banished such thoughts from his mind, dark eyes ever moving ever watching for the dangers around him. He had left without words to his fellow fighters, not wanting to face their desperate eyes, begging him to save them.

Snake-face had realized their plan to destroy all his horcruxes long beforehand, destroying their main plan, their only salvation, as if it was just a mildly annoying fly, easily dispatched of. He collected his remaining ones and put them in Hogwarts. Making them completely untouchable.

They had spies though...and Harry knew exactly where the arrogant bastard would keep them. A place he believed impenetrable. And of course he would leave them all in one place. Idiot.

So Harry had sent one of the spies with a recording of his voice while he continued with his own mission. He was confident that they would succeed in either destroying it with fiendfyre, or at least bringing them all back to the base. Yes, his plan would be successful. It was only the after he was worried about.

His thoughts were swept to the side without effort though at the sight before him.

Godric's Hollow.

Harry's eyes blinked tiredly, his inner awe not able to trudge its way through the months of sadness, guilt, and utter tiredness that lay upon him like bars on a jail cell. His sudden stop abruptly returned to a quick walk, but even he could not ignore the sight of his parent's gravestones for the first time. No matter how he felt.

His knees gave out from beneath him, his eyes apathetic but his insides a storm of sadness and utter regret.

I'm sorry Mum. And Dad. I'm sorry we couldn't be together.

And he was. Sorry that they had never been able to live full lives. Lives that they deserved. And for once he didn't regret the tears he shed, because they deserved them. The wonderful people who gave him life and then saved him from death, they deserved his recognition.

And with one last touch of the gravestone and a single lily conjured and lain on the ground with delicate care, he took his leave, promising to himself to make them -everyone- proud.

It had been some time since Albus Dumbledore had fallen. And unlike some believed, he didn't die in a battle. No, he died from natural causes. It had been a sad day when their leader died, but at least it had been before the ones closest to Harry had passed. However, he also died a martyr, to the public anyhow, and the Light used this.

Dumbledore had been a powerful man, and he continued to be in his death by memory.

"Go to where it all began. That is where you will change the world."

They had been some of the last words whispered by Albus Dumbledore, and they had been to Harry alone. Immediately after his death they seemed important, but with Voldemort to fight, they soon faded from his memory. He had bigger and more important things to worry about than the old musings of a man on his deathbed. No, he hadn't given them a second thought.

But after her death...well, suddenly they seemed more important than ever before. This was his last chance, the last thing he could count on, hope for, before his willpower would come to an end. Before he gave up.

So he pushed onward, ignoring the hopeful thoughts and guilt constricting his heart as he entered Godric's Hollow and made his way up to where it all began, where it all started. And when he saw the black scorch marks and crib he froze.

There's nothing here.

And oh he wanted to sob because how stupid had he been? Like he would find a saving grace in the ramblings of an old man, an old man who lived to tell riddles and empty nothings to inspire a hope that didn't exist.

Next great adventure my arse.

But suddenly he saw a golden light, a light that he could have sworn wasn't there before. And when he saw the pensieve swirl with a single memory, he didn't hesitate in diving head first.

What did he have to lose anyway?

Hey everyone! This is actually a rewrite to Bloody Love and a Sad Destiny. I am COMPLETELY redoing it, because I cannot STAND how I have it before. Ugh. Tom is completely OOC and why on EARTH did I make Harry that attractive? Damn. I was awful. ANYway :D I know I said on my profile..maybe on Malicious Intentions? that I wasn't going to update this until I was done with Malicious, but I've hit a bit of a snag. I really want to end the chapter where I am right now, but I need to add more. Anyway, I should update soon! Okay, summary and warnings like always will be on chapter 2. Hope you like the new and improved Bloody Love and a Sad Destiny! Reviews are always appreciated...and for those who reviewed on Bloody Love before, know that I love and appreciate every single one even though I didn't reply back.