Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.
Just a short oneshot inspired by Clare's need to go see that art film or whatever. Thank you to alspancakeworldnews for beta-ing.
Review, review, review!
Eli slowly walked into the newly restored place wasn't very full, but he sat towards the back anyway. Fiona was supposed to come to the movie with him, and translate it…it was pure French, but Holly J needed her for some prom dress emergency. He'd let her go with the promise of seeing this movie again so he could understand.
He'd consideredjust ditching the movie but ultimately decided against it. He'd paid for his ticket already and he thought it'd be funny to see just how much French had actually stuck with him from last semester.
He leaned back in his seat and waited for the movie to start.
xXx
Clare pushed past the crowd of people as she walked through downtown Toronto.
She was beyond pissed. Jake had ditched her to go fishing with his friends from back home, again. He had promised that they would go see this foreign film together. Clare had even purchased the tickets online in advance, andshe had been really excited to go too. Sure, she wouldn't understand a word of what was said, but she'd be entertained just watching the scenes unfold.
Clare had called him around noon to ask what time he'd be picking her up. Much to her chagrin though, Jake had simply said that his friends invited him up to the cabin for the weekend.
"You can go next weekend," Clare whined into the phone.
Jake laughed on the other side, "Clare, I'm already here."
"What about the movie?"
"Oh Clarebear, you'll have much more fun at it without me, I didn't want to go anyway. Invite Alli or Jenna, they'll probably love that girly movie stuff."
Clare rolled her eyes and scoffed, he didn't even remember that it was a French romance, not some chick flick.
"You're right Jake, I'll have a lot more fun without you. We're done," Clare said. She clicked "End" on her phone and dropped it into her bag, peeved.
She offered the extra ticket to her mom, but she was too busy getting ready for a date with Glen.
She called Alli, but she was still too heartbroken over what happened with Dave to come out.
Jenna was busy trying to catch up on work she'd missed while she'd had Tyson, but thanked her for the invite anyway. And Adam had all but laughed in her face over the phone. "Call me when you want to go see a movie based on comic books Clare," he said teasingly.
The theater had just been restored to its former glory, but even though it looked great it didn't make her feel any better. Clare groaned and pushed through the theatre's entrance, the theater had just been restored to its former glory. She decided to go alone. She had been waiting to see this film for a long time, not having anyone to go with wasn't going to stop her from seeing the movie.
Clare handed her ticket to the nice man at the door and he directed her to the correct room.
She slipped in slowly; the movie was already a few minutes in. She'd missed the beginning and was slightly irritated by the fact.
Although she usually satto the front, Clare knew it would be rude to walk in front of people's views. Instead, she sat in one of the back rows and tried to pay attention.
A snort of laughter from the person a few seats away from her broke her concentration. Clare looked over and felt short of breath.
Eli was shaking his head at the scene that had just unfolded on the screen before them. He was smiling and snickering at whatever they must have been saying. He looked so…happy. So carefree, something she hadn't seen in a long time.
xXx
Eli could feel someone looking at him. He turned to his left and saw nothing. He turned to his right and saw Clare staring right at him.
He swallowed nervously and waved at her. Much to his surprise, she waved back with a smile that hadn't been directed at him since before he crashed Morty. He groaned internally. She was probably here with LumberJake (as Adam and he had so affectionately nicknamed him) and although he wasn't going after Clare anymore, he still loved her. Eli didn't want to witness one of their datesfirsthand. The movie they were seeing was a two part, three and a half hour movie.
He decided that he would leave after intermission. In the meantime, he was very determined not to move a muscle in her direction.
xXx
Clare noticed Eli's demeanor change after they saw each other. He sat still and didn't laugh or snicker like he had been before. She frowned, recognizing that she had really hurt him with the things she had said to him after their breakup.
She made up her mind to talk to him during the intermission.
Half an hour later, the lights came on and people slowly began to trickle out into the lobby to use the bathroom or buy more food.
Clare turned to see Eli exiting into the lobby. She jumped from her seat, grabbed her bag, and took off after him.
She walked into the lobby and looked around, searching for him. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. Clare began pushing past other filmgoers. When she brushed past a particularly stocky older man she finally spotted him.
He was walking towards the exit.
"Eli," she called after him. It was only then that she realized that she didn't know what to say after that. For a moment, she regretted having said anything at all.
xXx
Eli was hastily walking toward the exit when he heard his name being called. He sighed and turned towards the sound of her voice.
Clare carefully walked in his direction.
"Hi Clare," he greeted when she finally reached him.
"Why are you leaving?" She asked confusedly.
Eli came up with the best excuse he could, "I was supposed to come here with Fiona so she could translate, but she was needed by Holly J elsewhere. I came to see it anyway to test my French from last semester. I can't make out much, so I'm just going to go."
"But you were laughing and snickering," Clare pointed out.
Eli raised an eyebrow. "From what little I could understand, it was very bad dialogue."
"Oh."
"Um…yeah, so I'll see you around, better get back to your date," Eli said as nicely as he could.
"Jake's not here," Clare said. "He's at some cabin with friends. I'm here alone."
Eli nodded, "Okay…um…I'll let you get back to it then. Intermission is about to end."
"You could stay with me," Clare blurted out, "if you wanted to." She finished meekly.
Eli scratched the back of his head and fought himself from saying yes, "Clare…um…I don't think Lumb- I mean Jake, would like that very much."
Clare's face distorted into one of indifference. "I broke up with him this morning."
"Oh," Eli said. "Are you sure?"
Clare nodded, "That's why I came after you. I was hoping we could finish watching it together."
"Neither of us understands the language though," Eli smirked.
"So?" Clare asked. "You can tell me what you think is going on, we'll make it funny."
"It's supposed to be a romance."
"Funny love," Clare sighed. "I could use some of that."
Eli shifted awkwardly at her words. "Okay," he said finally.
Clare's face brightened and a smile appeared. Her eyes sparkled and Eli felt his stomach churning in a very good way.
They walked back to the theater and sat in the back. Eli whispered funny things he could sort of translate into her ear and she had to fight off giggling too loudly throughout the rest of the movie.
xXx
By the time the movie was done, it had started to get dark outside. Eli offered to walk Clare home after she told him that her mom was with her boyfriend and her dad was out of town.
They walked slowly, comfortable with each other's presence and not wanting to part ways in a few minutes.
"You're lying, she did not say that," Clare laughed. They were playfully arguing over lines in the movie.
"She did, or…at least I think so…I didn't get much studying done for any French exams last semester. A certain someone kept distracting me," Eli teased.
Clare blushed, remembering the many times she had interrupted Eli's studying for a French exam of a different kind.
"Like you minded," Clare replied mischievously. She shivered at the chill in the air that was teasing her skin through the light sweater she'd worn.
Eli noticed and immediately handed her his jacket.
"Thank you," Clare said. She wrapped the jacket around herself and basked in the warmness of his body heat that was trapped in it. She inhaled the scent of his cologne that was caught on the collar and smiled at the familiarity of it all.
Sudden memories of past dates plagued them both. They smiled sadly at the old memories and silently wondered if there was ever a chance that they could go back to that.
"So how have you been lately?" Clare asked gently.
Eli turned to her. "Um…well…they finally labeled my crazy, I'm bipolar."
Clare felt the wind knocked out of her for the second time that night.
"But I'm doing a lot better," Eli amended quickly, noticing the change in her expression. He couldn't read it. Was she terrified? Angry?
Clare turned to him and placed a hand on his arm. "I know Eli, that's good. That's really, really good."
The words struck a chord in him and he involuntarily flinched. Clare remembered the conversation they had had on her couch. Her hand dropped from his arm.
"I'm very happy for you Eli. I'm proud and…," Clare trailed off, "I just wish I could have been there to help like I should have been. Like I had promised I would be."
Eli sighed, "That wasn't your job Clare. Therapy helped me realize that. You had to leave my toxicity, before I brought you down with me."
Clare stepped in front him, stopping their walk. "You weren't…aren't a toxic person Eli. You were sick. You couldn't control everything that was going on inside of your mind."
Eli looked down shamefully. Clare put her hand on his chest and felt his heart beat rhythmically. He placed his hand over her and squeezed gently.
"Please, don't feel guilty over what you had to do," Eli said to her. "You helped me a lot. If it were not for you, I probably would have snapped a lot sooner. You kept me normal…or as normal as I could ever be, for a long time."
How could seeing one film together bring them to the moment they were at now?
"I'm sorry," Clare whimpered before breaking down in tears and burying her face in Eli's shoulder.
Out of habit, Eli's arms wrapped around her, he held her gently and pressed his fingers comfortingly into her back.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be thanking you," Eli said quickly. He pressed a kiss to her head before he could stop himself.
Clare pulled away then and Eli felt his walls building up again. Had he done something wrong?
"I'm sorry," Eli apologized quickly. "I shouldn't have done that."
"Eli, no, you didn't do anything wrong. Everything is okay."
He let out a relived breath. They continued their walk to her house in a comfortable silence. Clare had looped her arm with his and was leaning her head on his shoulder.
They reached her front steps in no time.
"Well," Eli said awkwardly, "have a good night Clare. Thank you for letting me see the movie with you."
She took off his jacket and handed it back to him, feeling the cold immediately overtake her again.
He turned to leave, walking down her walkway slowly. Clare bit her lip. She didn't want him to leave, not yet. Not ever.
"Eli wait," she said loudly.
He turned slowly to see Clare speeding towards him.
"Wha-," he began to ask but was cut off when she pressed her lips to his.
It took him a few seconds to realize what was happening. Her lips were as soft as he remembered them. Full and smooth against his own. It took him a few seconds to recognize that this was not a good idea. He pushed Clare away from himself gently, placing an arms' length of space between them.
"What?" Clare asked, a confused look taking over her face.
"I can't….I can't do this Clare," he said sadly.
"What? Why not?" She asked frantically. "Do you not like me anymore?"
"That's absurd Clare. You know that's not why. I don't like you, I love you. I never stopped."
"Then what?" Clare asked, getting in his space again.
"You just broke up with Jake…I can't be a rebound…or whatever you call it for whenever friends with benefits ends," Eli said coldly.
"You," Clare gulped, "you know about that?"
"Adam accidentally let it slip one night. He didn't notice he said it and I didn't make a big deal out of it."
"I…I…," Clare tried to explain herself but words failed her. "He meant nothing to me Eli; I don't know why I agreed to it. After you…it was so different…Alli, my mom, everyone kept pushing me into it and I just wanted them all to be quiet and stop worrying about me."
"But you did it anyway Clare…and it hurt. But its okay, he's much better for you than I could ever be for anyone," Eli said sadly.
"That's not true," Clare whispered, shivering. "You were everything I wanted, needed and more. I…I love you Eli…I never stopped either."
She pressed herself against him, trying to keep him from leaving.
"Don't say that," Eli's face distorted into a miserable expression, "don't say that if you don't mean it. I can't take you toying with me again."
"I didn't mean to hurt you," Clare whispered, "I was scared, not of you, but of everything that was happening. I didn't know what to do."
"I can't trust you," Eli said honestly, "not yet. I'm afraid that if I let you in again, I'll do something to suffocate or chase you away again."
"You won't because I'm not leaving this time…or ever."
Their now cold lips hovered millimeters away from each other. "I'm scared," he said, "I don't know what I can and can't do with you. I feel like every move I'll make is going to suffocate you. I'm scared that I'm always going to hold onto you too tightly."
"But this time I want you to," Clare whispered, "I want you to love me and hold me. I want us to be there for each other through everything. Good days and bad."
Eli swallowed nervously, "I need you to be honest with me. Whenever, I am hovering too much or being too clingy. I need you to tell me right away. Don't let it boil over again like before."
Clare shed a tear at Eli's vulnerability. She had done this to him. On some level, she had shattered him. She knew she had to be the one to fix that part at least.
"Together, we'll take it one step at a time Eli," Clare said gently. "I promise I'll tell you. I won't…I can't leave you this time. I love you too much."
"I love you too," Eli said, enveloping her in his arms.
Clare welcomed the heat of his body with open arms. She tilted her head towards his and kissed him gently. Their cold lips moved slowly.
Eli pressed back softly, not wanting to push and was surprised when Clare was the one to deepen it.
After a few minutes she pulled away, but not before pressing another kiss on his lips.
"You're warm, but I'm still freezing. Let's go inside," she giggled. She took his hand in hers and pulled him to her front door.
"I love you," Clare said, opening the door.
"I love you too," Eli replied, shutting it behind them.
Thoughts?