Jackson
Hutch heard Starsky thrashing around on the couch – fighting a nightmare that sounded worse than Hutch had ever heard him fight. He heard Starsky call out names in the nightmare: Eddie, Jackson, Tom, Rick…over and over he called them in a voice full of fear and dread and loneliness. Hutch knew this was a nightmare from Starsky's time in Vietnam and his heart ached for his partner. Wanting to console him and drive the fear away, Hutch walked to the couch where Starsky lay. His partner, who could be tough as nails, tossed and turned as if he were running and getting nowhere, tears of fear and pain streaming down his face. Hutch leaned over and gently laid his hand on Starsky's arm, softly calling his name.
"Starsk", he said gently, "I'm here buddy. No one is going to hurt you, no one is going to get you. I'm here and will keep you safe. Shh buddy, shh, I promise, it will be okay."
For the next few minutes, Hutch gently talked to Starsky rubbing his arm, his hand, cradling his face, assuring his friend that all would be ok. Starsky started to calm, the fear in his face ebbing away as the soothing words of Hutch broke through the hell he was fighting. Starsky soon slept peacefully, never waking through the whole process, as if knowing the presence and love of Hutch would make the terror go away. Hutch wondered about the nightmare, knowing the senseless death of Jackson had started this round of terror. He knew so much about his partner, as his partner knew so much about him. They had been together long enough, shared enough tears and joy, that there were practically no more secrets between them. But, Vietnam was something Starsky rarely talked about and Hutch rarely asked about, sensing that this was a subject his partner just could not face. Hutch knew little about Starsky's time in-country, heard only through quick snatches of conversation, or like tonight, in the throes of a nightmare. He watched Starsky for a few minutes more, satisfied that he was sleeping peacefully and then went back to bed. But, Hutch did not sleep he only dozed, wanting to be present and awake in case Starsky needed him again.
Slowly, Starsky woke, the fear of the nightmare from Vietnam slowly moving to the edges of his mind. He knew that Hutch had been the reason the nightmares had run away, even though he had slept through the whole healing process. He quietly walked over to where Hutch was sleeping, offering a silent thanks for his strength and compassion. Starsky thought that he should have gone home earlier in the evening so as not to bother Hutch. But, Starsky wanted to stay because he knew that he would need the nearness of his friend to make it thru the night.
The rest of the night wore on and the sleep that Starsky searched for was elusive and hiding. The few times he did doze off, he would wake with a start – trying to keep the nightmare at bay. Finally, he gave up and walked softly to the kitchen for a glass of water and then headed out to the back deck of Hutch's apartment. He stood there quietly, hoping the sound of the ocean would give him the peace he was looking for. After a few minutes Starsky gave up and headed back inside toward the couch hoping the night would end soon
Starsky felt, rather than heard, the presence of his partner, who was his friend and so much more. It still amazed Starsky how lucky he was to have someone like Hutch in his life, someone who would always be there for him – no matter what. Hutch, who had heard the restless wonderings of his troubled partner, came around the couch and sat on the coffee table facing Starsky. He asked no questions of Starsky, only the look in his eyes that said "I am here for you buddy, no matter what."
They had lost a friend today, gunned down by an overzealous rookie cop. Starsky had known Jackson longer than Hutch, as they had served together in Vietnam. Jackson even still called Starsky "Sarge". Hutch reached up to touch Starsky's shoulder, knowing how hard he was taking this death, the death of a fellow comrade, the death of a father, of a son, of a friend. Hutch knew the next few days and weeks would be hard on them, but especially Starsky as he would try to be the strength that Jackson's family would need. But, tonight, Starsky needed Hutch and he would be there for his best friend.
Hutch looked at Starsky again, saying with his eyes what did not need to be spoken: "I'm here for you my friend, let me be your strength tonight so you can be strong for others tomorrow". Starsky looked back at Hutch and the tears that needed to flow from Starsky's broken heart began. In between the tears, Starsky called the name of his…their friend…..Jackson, Jackson, Jackson…and Hutch held him tight.