A/N: This is something I've wanted to do forever I just didn't get around to it. This will be a chapter story. It's about the marauder's weird adventures at Hogwarts, and is a slightly more... crazy version of the boys. I will update a.s.a.p. but I have testing at school right now... I will need lots of reviews to keep me going!

Of Sugar Highs and High Fives

Sirius Black was not what you would call normal, and that's not just because he was a wizard. No, Sirius had some... strange things about him. This of course made it difficult for others to be around him. Only a select few at Hogwarts had the patience to get to know him, one of which was getting ready to kill him.

"PADFOOT! WE DO NOT BREAK THINGS FOR FUN!"

Sirius only laughed at Remus's red features.

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY! IF THIS IS WHAT DOGFOOD DOES TO YOU, DON'T EAT IT!"

This snapped Sirius back in to reality.

"Heyy... I don't eat dog food! Now I have licked a piece before, but that was a dare..."

He trailed off when Remus narrowed his eyes.

Padfoot fell silent, all the wheels in his mind turning. Suddenly, he knew what to do to get out of trouble.

Padfoot trembled his lower lip, and made his eyes big and watery.

He saw Remus's twitch.

He made his face more dramatic, and this time a chuckle escaped Remus's pressed lips.

He now made faux whimpering sounds and put on his" I'm-so-sorry-you-must-hate-me-now" face.

This time Remus spoke, "Oh my god, you are such a kiss-up. I think you beat James."

"What about me?" A third marauder poked his head around the door frame to find his two friends and his broom... his broken broom.

James' features turned from confused to maniacal.

"Somebody's going to die, right here, right now."

Both Sirius and Remus knew he meant it, and they exchanged a glance backing up against the door on the opposite wall from James.

"Ummm, RUN REMY, RUN!" and Sirius was off. "Right behind you!" Remus yelled after him.

As soon as they were through the door, James gave chase.

The three ran up and down corridors, through unsuspecting crowds, and broke a good number of expensive baubles.

Remus and Sirius knew they would soon be caught, for they did not have the Quidditch stamina James did. Right as Sirius was about to give up, they heard a thump at the bottom of the stairs.

Both boys stopped and turned around. Remus gasped when he saw James laying in a daze at the foot of the stairs.

"James!", Sirius cried. He ran over to his friend and stooped down beside him. "Are you hurt?"

"Yes...", he croaked.

"Uh-oh. What hurts?"

"My hand..."

Sirius examined his hand.

"Umm, what's wrong with it?"

James turned his head as if he could not bear to look at it. "The-" he gasped dramatically, then said in a hushed whisper, "Nail".

Sure enough, his nail was broken.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I think he's fine."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" James screeched. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WITH THIS HAND ON A DAILY BASIS?"

"James, cut it out-"

"NO! NO! THIS IS ALLYOUR FAULT! NOW I WILL NEVER PLAY QUIDDITCH AGAIN, I CAN NEVER PICK A FLOWER FOR LILY, HECK I WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO HOLD MY CHILDREN, I CAN NEVER WRITE OR I MIGHT STRAIN MYSELF-"

"James shut up! People are staring!"

"I DON'T CARE! MY LIFE IS RUINED!"

No one could say anything to calm James down, for he was drowning in self-pity, and they were all familiar that when James drowned in self-pity, he was miserable for days.

Remus prepared himself for a horrible week. "Poor stairs." he thought. "You're going to get mauled."

Sirius, Peter, and Remus were worried. They hadn't seen James all morning, and after his latest escapade he couldn't be up to anything good.

"Guys.." Remus whispered. "I'm afraid James is going to do something awful to us. You know, 'cause his broom, then his nail, then his dignity... That's a lot for egotistical James."

"In one week, no less!" Peter chirped in.

Sirius had been about to say something when the Grand Hall doors burst open, and in strode James.

All three marauders' jaws dropped when they saw him.

James was wearing a t-shirt with all house colors on it that said, 'Boycott the Hogwarts Stairs!' and on the back it said, 'Risk no more lives! Refuse the stairs!" He had a red and gold crown on his head with pictures of stairs with x's drawn through them. He had charmed his robes to flash different colors and occasionally scream 'NO MORE STAIRS!'

He walked toward the Marauders with a haughty look on his face.

"Pretty cool, eh?"

"No." said Sirius frankly. He scooted a few seats down. "I don't know you."

James pouted. "Fine. Anyone else?" he turned back to Peter and Remus.

They immediately left for the library.

"Ok, but when this is all the rage, I get to say it was all my idea!"

Sirius just shook his head and headed for the common room.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter had done their best to ignore James. Still, it was hard to avoid the weirdness. Everywhere they looked, people were wearing pins, hats, and stickers that said, "NO STAIRS" It was rather funny because James was just talking about...

Oh no.

Once Remus had taken some aspirin and returned to the dormitory, he went to search for James. He looked everywhere James usually was, the couch, the chair, the bed, the bathroom, and even everywhere James usually wasn't.

On his second time around he finally found James- in a cabinet.

"Umm, may I-"

"Don't ask."

"Just one question?"

"Fine."

"Why are you hiding in a cabinet?"

James glanced around quickly. Then he leaned in and whispered, "Fan-girls."

He smirked. "I told you guys this was going to be huge!"

Just then, Sirius burst in... sporting a Dr. Seuss sized 'stairs' hat.

"Idea-stealer!"

"Nuh-uh! This is totally mine. If I hadn't broke your broom, you wouldn't have chased me and Remy down four flights of stairs, therefore tripping, breaking your nail, losing your dignity, and starting this whole fiasco. Duh, anyone with eyes could see that."

After a pause, someone began:

"First" James started, "It's Remy and I. Second-"

He broke into a grin, which Sirius returned.

"We're going to attend to the fan-girls?" Sirius asked hopefully.

James giggled, then laughed, then went into a fit of hysterical cries, before managing a small sigh

"Idiots!"

"I'm confuzzled..."

"I just did all this to annoy you." He pulled out his wand, and with a swish, all 'no stairs' merchandise was gone.

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances before Remus spoke up.

"You know, I find it quite unhealthy that this does not surprise me."

"I could say anything and it wouldn't surprise you."

"Touche."

a/n: Not my best piece, but there will be more chapters! I couldn't really think of a good plot, so I need some help for next chapter. It can have to do with whatever, I can work with pretty much anything. Thanks! R&R!