Super Smash Brothers HQ:
11:23 am

Master Hand calmly sipped a coffee in his office, as Kirby and Link furiously circled the room.

Link walked up to Master Hand's desk, and slammed his fists on the table. "What do you you mean Super Smash Brothers is being SHUT DOWN?!" he screamed.

Link continued to circle the office with Kirby.

"We got shut down by the EPA, the FBI, the Humane Society, …heck, the United Nations!" said Master Hand, "It's not safe anymore! It's not legal! We can't get animals to fight children, and children to fight grown men with swords and guns!"

Kirby jumped up on the desk, grabbed a pencil and snapped it in half.

"Hey!" said Master Hand, "…I liked that pencil!"

"I don't care! I'm filled with rage!" said Kirby, taking Master Hand's tissues and throwing them everywhere. "You can't put us out on the street with no jobs, we are born warriors!"

"Yeah!" said Link, raising his sword.

"…well too bad! We can't run the tournament anymore! And you both have millions, and millions of dollars to spend on whatever you like!" said Master Hand.

"We lost it all!" cried Kirby and Link in unison, hugging each other.

"Well it's not my problem!" said Master Hand angrily, "I'm going on a permanent vacation to Delfino Plaza, while you two will probably have to go on the motivational speaking circuit to make money!"

"I don't WANNA be a role model!" yelled Kirby, hurling a paperclip across the room.

"Yeah! People who need role models are losers!" said Link, taking a mint from a bowl on Master Hand's desk and eating it.

Kirby gasped.

Master Hand turned red.

Kirby gasped again, for dramatic effect.

"THOSE MINTS ARE SACRED!" screamed Master Hand, showing a rare display of emotion. Well rare, if you ignore all those times he angrily tries to kill all of the Smashers throughout the games. "That's the final straw! Get out of my office!"

Master Hand breathed loudly in a deeply disturbed way.

"…so…" said Kirby, "…because Link got a mint… do I get a mint-"

"OUT!" screamed Master Hand.

Kirby and Link scurried out of the office.

Master Hand sobbed, leaning over the bowl of mints. "Crazy Hand! When you died, instead of being cremated, you requested to be turned into a bowl of mints! …and NOW YOU'RE BEING EATEN!" Master Hand took a mint and ate it, "DELICIOUS MINTS!" Master Hand sobbed and enjoyed the sugary taste, while sobbing uncontrollably.

Outside Super Smash Brothers HQ:
11:27 am

Kirby and Link sat in the carpark, dejected.

"So we have no money, no jobs," said Kirby, sitting on the ground.

"We're in millions, and millions of dollars of debt," sulked Link.

"And we have no way to pay for it," said Kirby, a car honking at him because he was blocking the exit to the car park.

"What do we do about it?" said Link, a car honking at him because he too was blocking the exit to the car park.

"Guys…" said Wolf angrily, sitting in the car, honking at the two friends.

"…maybe we try other sports?!" said Kirby.

"GUYS!" said Wolf angrily, honking his horn repeatedly.

"Yeah! Actually, I know of a basketball tournament we could enter!" said Link, "The winner gets a million dollars! All we have to do is throw a team together!"

"MOVE DAMNIT DW(UNIUSANIEFJ WEO" screamed Wolf.

"Brilliant idea! I'm feeling better already!" said Kirby.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" screamed an irate Wolf, "I NEED TO GO HOME TO WATCH CRIMINAL MINDS!"

"Shut up, Wolf!" screamed Link angrily, "Since you got kicked out of the series, the only reason people acknowledge your existence is because you clean our expensive cars for three dollars an hour!"

"IT'S TRUE!" cried Wolf, driving a ninth-hand Prius.

"Next time on Super Smash "We need mo' money" Brothers Jubilee…" narrated Kirby.

"Kirby loses it!" said Link.

"I'M REALLY MAD THIS TIME, MASTER HAND!" screamed Kirby, using Master Hand's public wi-fi without politely asking first.

"MONSTER!" screamed Master Hand.

"And Link finds out a shocking fact about Zelda!" said Kirby.

"You and Pit are a thing?!" said an outraged Link.

"…me, Pit, and Zelda," said Pac Man, putting his arms around the two.

"…are these scenes actually real?!" screamed Link dramatically.

"They're not!" whispered Kirby.

"Way to ruin the suspense!" said Link, annoyed.

"…oh, I mean uh, uh, uh, uh," said Kirby. "uh, uh, uh, uh, uh…"

THE END

Hi, I'm back. Review! If you like pizza / other sugary food here.