Song: All We'd Ever Need
Artist: Lady Antebellum
Couple: Max/Fang
Disclaimer: Seriously? I am not a balding old guy. No, I don't own Maximum Ride, but thanks for reminding me.
Max POV
Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me
I sit alone in my room in the middle of the night. Nothing but the sounds of my flock breathing in behind the doors down the hallway breaking the silence.
Four months; that's how long he's been gone. The flock thinks I've moved on, but the truth is I can't even think his name without the wounds opening all over again. I, the invincible Maximum Ride, am broken. Broken because of a stupid jerk who left.
I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me
Everyday I wipe my tears away I should've been chasing you
So many nights I've prayed for you to say
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
The memories he left me with were my best, but I lock them away. Everything that reminds me of him is under a high security vault in the back of my mind. But every night I open that vault, and the memories come flooding back, stronger than ever.
His smell; dark and earthy, and almost unreachable. His eyes; so dark that a single glance left you drowning. His smile, and those rare moments when he would light up and my heart would skip a beat. His voice. His lips. His wings. How he knew me more than I knew myself. Him.
I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need
I should've said something. I should've reassured him that I loved him. That Dylan wasn't an option to me. That I only wanted him. But it's too late now, he left and he's not coming back.
And he already replaced me. With my clone, Maya. I'm expendable to him, there was always two Maxes, and I was never good enough to be his choice. I was never good enough for Fang.
Fang POV
My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me
I look around the room at my sleeping gang. My eyes wander on Maya, a small smile was on her lips as her chest gently rose and fell in slumber.
My head was leaning against the wall behind me as I sat up in my cot, computer in my lap as I finished a blog post. As it uploaded I clicked on my 'pictures' folder.
I only open this folder late at night, when no one will see me. When they can't see how vulnerable I am; because they all think I've moved on. That I don't care about my old flock. They think I don't care about Max—my throat caught as I thought her name, because the truth is that I haven't moved on. I'm not strong enough I guess.
And I've kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me
The first image showed up on the screen of my laptop. Subconsciously I smiled. This picture was taken when we were nine, right before Jeb left. It was just Max and I, looking at the camera and laughing, arms slung around each other's shoulders, the summer light hitting us from behind.
I clicked through a few more pictures, my heart lifting more at each one.
When I got to one particular image I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Max was standing in the kitchen (which was a disaster) holding a pot of what was once mac and cheese. Her hair was out of line, and she looked exhausted. Angel was standing next to her, looking at the brown eyed girl with a sympathetic expression, Gazzy was outright disgusted, I had my hand on the shoulder, suppressing a smirk; and Iggy was full out laughing. I think the picture was taken by Nudge, because she wasn't in the image.
But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out
Smiling I clicked to the picture, and it was one I hadn't seen before.
Max. And I. Kissing. On the beach.
I squeezed my eyes shut to block the tears that had snuck up on me. Tears. From a picture. I am weak, I am broken.
Slowly I opened my eyes and looked at the picture again, my heart aching. It was hard to breathe.
Quickly I shut the laptop and shook my head to clear it. No, I thought to myself she doesn't want you. She has Dylan, she's better off. She's happy. I guess if she's happy then I can live with myself for running away from my feelings. It's true, they were a distraction for both of us, but honestly I was scared too. I didn't know where they were going, and I was opening up to her; even more than usual. I couldn't let my walls down, so I ran.
My eyes slowly went back to Maya. I feel bad for her; feeling like she has to live up to Max. No one could even come close to being as amazing as Maximum Ride. At first glance Maya is exactly the same as Max (aside from her streak of pink in her hair) but she's not Max. And I don't love Maya. At some point I thought I could replace Max with her, that maybe I could use her to move on and fill that Max shaped hole in my heart. But it didn't work. Because she's not Max.
I should've been chasing you
You should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
Oh you should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe you could've made me believe
That what we had girl
Oh that what we had, what we had
It was all we'd ever need
I should've told her how much I loved her, how I couldn't live without her. But I lost my chance, she has Dylan. He was made for her.
Maybe someday I'll get a second chance. Maybe in twenty years we'll meet on the cliffs with the hawks. Maybe then I'll gather up my courage and tell her. I'll tell her how much I love her. Because no matter what I tell myself, no matter what mask I put on, Max will always be all I'll even need.
It was all we'd ever need
What do you think? This is my first story, but I've been wanting to write it for a long time. Constructive criticism greatly appreciated! :-)
Fly on