One shot set to season 1 Faith episode
Slight amendments made to match characters' lines from the show.
Disclaimer : No copyright of characters depicted belongs to writer. Property of CW and Wonderland
The heart in pieces, taunting, bleeding, shattered…
Of a dream once iridescent and complete,
now shred to tatters, like the heart,
laying in broken pieces.
It was his heart that was damaged. Thanks to the entire crazy encounter; and the desperate act of defense against the Rawhead. He wouldn't have time to think of the puddle of water on the floor, there was no time. He just needed to get it and he did.
But his heart was in pieces, and there was nothing he can do about it. His brother would look at him with those wistful eyes and deadly determination; and he could do nothing to fix it for him.
Perhaps this would be the one time he wouldn't have to. Not because he didn't want to, but he can't; it was not even in his ability to do so.
At least, this way, he knew he had fulfilled his purpose. In more ways than one, he had already accepted a long time ago that this would be his final purpose. Perhaps this was redemption, or perhaps this was a release. He wasn't sorry… it was what in his heart of heart he believed to be the only outcome possible in his chosen path in life. He knew that.
His brother didn't. And for him, he smiled and gave him that well rehearsed speech of drawing the short strew… there was no need for regrets. His brother would have enough for both of them.
But that broken look on his brother, that he did not want to see… So he tried to fix that…
"You better take care of that car... I swear I will hunt your ass"
"I don't think that's funny." His brother, still serious
"Aw come on, it's a little funny" almost like his usual self; teasing his brother into good humor, to not take himself so seriously
This time, there was a slight smile. It's a start. He could always get a smile out of his serious brother. At least he was fixing some part of the broken pieces for his brother.
All the other pieces, his heart, their life, a dream of a different life once cherished long ago. Broken like so many pieces of his heart. It had never been whole, anyway; as far as he could remember. The only time he even felt close to the pretense of wholeness was when he had his family around him: his dad and his kid brother. These broken pieces, he didn't know how to fix. Someone else will have to do it, for once.
His heart was damaged, he heard his doctor again. It wasn't just his heart was it? It was his entire life, his entire being that was damaged, a long time ago. What is ruin now, is simply the actual organ. Not the person; he was already damaged beyond repair a long time ago. And he could feel the broken pieces all around him, taunting him; like the dream he once hold dear in the secret recess of his mind so long ago… all in pieces. And they are still there taunting him right at this moment; because he will not even have the broken pieces to hold on to for long.
"…and you can't stop it." He looked at his brother with somber, half pleading eyes, willing him to accept the truth and sense of what he is telling him, willing him to understand the harsh reality so that he could move on; by himself.
"Watch me." Steely determination shone in his brother's eyes; so like their dad.
He looked up into those eyes, and he understood. His brother was not giving up on him.
He realized, for that moment at least; he was the most important thing to his brother.
And for that, maybe, just maybe there was still one piece of what was left of his heart he could hold onto.