Title: Snow day
Author: Ceindreadh
Fandom: Torchwood
Genre: Slash, smut
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Rating: T
Summary: Jack and Ianto, a cabin, snow. You do the math.
Word count: 600
Warnings: Gratuitous nudity and mangling of lyrics
Disclaimer - Torchwood belongs to the BBC, 'Oklahoma!' belongs to Rodgers and Hammerstein, Jack's body belongs to Ianto, my brain belongs to me (on account of it being too twisted for anybody else to use) Author's notes - Apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.
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The forest was quiet and still. The snow that had fallen steadily through the night, now smoothly covered every available surface. No animals had wandered by to disturb the blanket of white. Not a single footstep or paw print sullied its pristine surface. The air was crisp and clear, with not a sound to be heard beyond a slight rustling of the tree branches as they bore their frozen burden. As mornings went, this one couldn't have been more peaceful and serene.
The serenity was abruptly disturbed by a loud bang as the cabin door was flung open. A two-legged creature stood in the doorway, breathing in its fill of the pure clean country air. No ordinary creature was this, standing naked in the doorway. Long limbed and lean, sound of body and wind, the creature opened its mouth and sang "Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeeeeeeeling...Ianto is coming my way!"
From inside the cabin, there was a muffled shout, "If you don't shut the bloody door, the only thing 'coming your way' will be my boot aimed at the back of your head! You're freezing the whole cabin."
"Oh come on Ianto, come and join me." Jack Harkness - for it was he standing there displayed in all his glory (and indeed, there was a lot of 'glory' on display) - turned to look back into the building. "It's a beautiful day out there. There's snow everywhere. It's wonderful! Come on!"
"In case you'd forgotten, and I really don't see how you could do *that*," Ianto's voice came in reply, "I'm still naked here, and so are you. I'm not going anywhere near that door until I have at least a dozen layers on me. Some of us don't appreciate catching our death of cold."
"Ah, but I can think of so many wonderful ways to warm you up." A deaf man couldn't have missed the innuendo in those words.
"If you think I'm going to have sex with you, naked sex with you, outside in this weather, you can forget about it, Jack."
"But naked sex is the best kind. And besides, you said before you wouldn't have sex with me outside because people would see. Now we're in the middle of nowhere, there's nobody around to watch."
"What part of 'I don't want to freeze my bollocks off, figuratively or literally' did you not understand? Besides, don't you know that 'things' shrink in the cold?"
Jack made a quick examination of various 'things'. "Don't worry so much Ianto, I've still got plenty to spare!" The grin on his face was wiped off as a projectile hit him square in the mouth. Not however the threatened boot from earlier, but a soft and wet and decidedly *cold* snowball, that Ianto had clearly scooped up from a window ledge. "That's cold!" yelped Jack, through a mouthful of snow.
"Precisely," said Ianto. "Now imagine rolling around in it bollock naked."
"You may perhaps be right," conceded Jack.
"I'm always right," said Ianto. "Now come on, don't just stand there when there's naked sex we could be having right here...but with the door closed."
The door slammed shut as quickly as it had been opened.
Peace descended once more upon the forest...well, except for the sounds that were coming from inside the cabin, but that's another story.
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The End