I should NOT be doing this!
But meh. The plunnies (aka, plot bunnies, I got that from Araceil) have been attacking me and simply refused to stop until I put this down.
On the other hand, TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY! And I decided to give this to all of you guys.
APPRECIATE ME!
The updates of this story are going to be way tooooooo slow so please, please, PLEASE bear with me. PLEASE DON'T PRESSURE ME!
And please guys, is painfully obvious that this is a Fem Naruto fanfic, so please if you don't like DON'T READ!
Disclaimer: Naruto is not not mine (unfortunately) I just own the plot.
Summary: They say that when you die, everything stops. The pain, the suffering, the happiness, the hope. Everything. So why couldn't it be like that for me? I was ready, ready to give up everything. Why couldn't everything just end? This isn't the story of a fighter. This isn't the story of a believer. This isn't the story of a leader. This is the story of a coward that had to learn to be brave.
Pairing: Mmm, I don't know, I don't know... Maybe there won't be any, it depends XD.
Warnings: AU, Non-Canon, FemNaruto, SI!Naruto, mild Konoha-bashing, Alive!Minato and Alive!Kushina, etc, etc, etc. (More warning will be added in the future). JUST TO BE CLEAR! MOST OF MY KNOWLEDGE COMES FROM FANFICTIONS I HAVE READ AND THE INTERNET!
THIS FANFIC HAS BEEN INSPIRED BY 'Weight of the World' BY Tsume Yuki, AND 'Waking Up' BY TheConstellation.
Published: 04-26-15
Prologue
― これは終わりではない ―
This Is Not The End
Normal PoV
When I was nineteen years old, I killed myself.
I was given the name Lièhuǒ[*] by my grandmother. I had been named after my late great grandmother who died in a fire protecting my uncle, my mother's older brother.
Both of them died.
I was born in China when my mother, Xiān Zhilan, was barely seventeen. My father came from a rich family, but hadn't been married to my mother and ran away at the first change he got. My grandparents, unlike many others, hadn't rejected neither me not my mother and opened their arms and house to them.
I grew up like the child of my grandparents. They took great care of me and made sure I had everything I needed while growing up, making sure to get the best of the best while my mother spent herself away and left me forgotten.
I was six years old when my mother married for the first time. The man she had married, Xīn Yuán, was a very warm and kind person, always looking to help others and make my mother happy, giving her anything she wanted.
But not me.
I was left forgotten by my mother, but that was okay with me. I had grown up to see my grandparents be my parents and the thought of my mother forgetting about me wasn't overly upsetting like it had been once in the past.
My mother eventually became pregnant and she became mother of another child, a little boy named Kāiduān who the Xīn family adored.
But soon, that another child came into the family, and then another. My mother never really cared for children, she always saw them as burdens; their father was often away for work, and their grandparents didn't like my mother because she had been touched by another man before she married their son.
So I was only left.
My mother took me away from my family in order to become the caretaker of my little step-brothers, whom I had never met in my life before. I was ten when I met them. The three little boys were very sweet and obedient. I never had to raise my voice to them and it only took a stern look to made them stop doing mischief, something I was very grateful for.
I was thirteen when I reached my limit.
I wasn't ready to become the mother of my little brothers while my mother and step-father were always busy doing something else. I wasn't even done with middle school and they wanted me to take care of my little siblings full time?
I couldn't.
I sued my mother and her husband three months before my fourteen birthday and I was taken by social services soon after. My mother tried to take me back saying it would break my little sibling's heart if I were to go away, but at that point of my life I simply didn't care anymore.
I stopped caring.
My grandparents also tried to take me in, the same for my aunts, but social services wouldn't allow it, and neither would my mother claiming it was their fault I had even thought of doing what I did. At the end, I was sent back home.
I tried to suicide many times after this, but none of them worked, I was always found in time and taken to the hospital. My grandparents started taking me to a shrink to talk about my feeling but none of it helped.
None of it.
I was fourteen, almost fifteen, when I was presented with the opportunity to leave that house and make a life for me. To keep forward and leave the past where it belonged, the past.
I won't go into details, but I ended up in a bad place, a really, really bad place. My body was trained to do things against my will and I had a psychological leash around my neck at all times, one that just wouldn't go away no matter what I did.
I became the best at what I did. I trained myself day and night, practiced the expressions I should make. Create a false persona that would shield the real me of the atrocities I was committing. Of the atrocities I was allowing myself and others to commit.
In the end, I wasn't strong enough.
I wasn't the brave little girl my mǔqīn thought I was.
I wasn't the strong little girl my fùqīn thought I was.
I was coward.
This isn't the story of a fighter.
This isn't the story of a believer.
This isn't the story of a leader.
This is the story of a coward that had to learn to be brave.
To Kill a Flame,
Does not Mean the End of the Fire
Sooooo... you love it? hate it? I hope you guys liked it! XD
I love you guys don't forget to review! XD
＊烈火: Rekka: Raging fire.
＊これは終わりではない: Kore wa owaride wanai. This is not the end.
[*] Lièhuǒ: Raging fire ― 烈火. Chinese.
*Xiān: Immortal ― 仙. Chinese.
*Zhīlán: Irises and Orchids ― 芝兰. Chinese.
*Xīn: New ― 新. Chinese.
*Yuán: Element ― 元. Chinese.
*Kāiduān: Beginning ― 開端. Chinese.
*Mǔqīn: Mother ― 父親. Chinese.
*Fùqīn: Father ― 母親. Chinese.
And sorry for the mistakes.
Bye bye!
Mia Heartnet.