Your name is Conrad Achenleck. You are twenty-seven years old and you are dead.
Well that's only half-true. You've become a vampire, and as Hanna tells you that means you're only undead. Some how this doesn't make you feel better. Your life for the past two months feels like one big acid trip, that someone will turn around and scream "April Fool's!" and you'll wake up from this awful nightmare.
So far that hasn't happened, and you begin to lose hope daily that it will.
You've become reluctant friends with an excitable paranormal investigator, a zombie, a werewolf, a real life Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, someone who specializes in the organ black market, a halfselkie and a "doctor" (you don't really call the last two "friends"). Your quiet life as a mild-mannered graphic designer has been completely flipped on it's head and you're not sure what to do.
You guess you ought to take the punches as they come.
Adjusting to your new life has been difficult. No more of your favorite foods like sushi, no more coffee, no more sunshine and pretty days. And the worst was no more reflections, in mirrors or pictures. Never being able to see your own reflection was the hardest to swallow for some reason. You never picked yourself as the type to be vain.
Today was a good day, or night if you wanted to be technical. Ples had convinced Veser to come stay with him for awhile, which suited you just fine. Veser was obnoxious, loud, always wiping his feet on your furniture, making your teeth grind in ways most unpleasant. You're surprised you still have them left after only one month of Veser in your apartment.
You could almost kiss Ples square on the mouth, but restrain yourself and just offer him your thanks. With Veser out of your hair for the time being, you could relax for once. And you almost do for an hour when there's a knock on your door.
It's Toni, the werewolf Hanna had managed to drag along on his misadventures. You invite her in and make her some tea. You normally don't just automatically make tea when you have company, but pretty women made you nervous and keeping your hands busy took your mind off those nerves.
You're sitting in your kitchen, asking her how school was going. She's an art major thank God, so you have something you can talk to her about without sounding like a jackass. She tells you everything's going well, whips out her sketchbook, showing you everything she's been working on lately. You give her what you hope is helpful critique, nothing overly dickish. Toni thanks you with a smile, nothing in her eyes showed that she was offended or hurt, you inwardly let out a sigh of relief.
But all this talk about school brings her to why she came here in the first place. "Conrad I was wondering if I could ask for a favor. Veser texted me yesterday and told me that he was going to be staying with Ples from now on. Well, summer break is starting soon, and I uh, don't really have anywhere to go, so do you think maybe I could stay here? I clean up after myself and I won't be a pest like Veser I promise!" She pulls a puppydog face.
You consider it for a moment. She's a nice girl, probably twenty times better to have around than Veser. Besides, it's not like that guest room was being used for anything now. "Sure, I don't have a problem with it."
She squeals loudly, darts over to you and pulls you into a back-breaking hug. You notice she smells amazing, but keep that to yourself.
_
Two weeks have passed by. You are sitting with Toni on your apartment complex's roof, swapping stories and just learning about each other. Sort of like a date, but you refuse to let yourself to think about it that way. You're just two people, getting to know each other. What would make it a date?
Besides you doubted she would even consider it the same way. Wait why were you even thinking about it, stop it stop it.
You find out she's half Hispanic, half Japanese. Her father died when she was 15, her mother when she was 17. The only family member she associates herself is with her father's sister whom lives on the other side of the country. Toni asks about you, then you give her the abridged version of your life: your father left you, she remarried and made you move to America, your stepbrother married your ex and now you really don't have anything to do with your family since your grandparents died.
She gives you a sympathetic smile and covers your hand with hers. You return a weak grin, giving her hand a quick squeeze and pray that she wouldn't feel how shaky it was.
You both sit out there for a few more hours, just enjoying each others company. Finally as the sun is rising and you're heading inside, you turn to her and say
"Hey Toni, do you maybe want to go out to a movie or something later?"
Toni gives you a look of surprise, which is replaced with a big smile, "Sounds good to me Conrad."
And that was the best thing you've heard in months.
_
A few months have gone by. You and Toni have developed a relationship, much to the surprise of your circle of friends, especially Veser. She's back in school, sleeping in the dormitories, staying with you during the weekends. You miss her staying with you all the time, but are too afraid to say anything.
Tonight, you are helping her rehearse for tomorrow's audition, and she wants the lead role so bad she can taste it. It's a musical unfortunately, so you can't help with the singing part. Not like she needed much help, Toni has a lovely voice. So you're just reading lines to her, and she does her best without her script. When it comes time for her to sing, you just listen to her as she practices. Her voice made you feel good.
Once she feels satisfied with her progress, she plops down in your lap, kissing you right on the lips. You haven't had sex with her yet, you told her the story of what happened and why you're still a virgin. She didn't get weirded out or repulsed. Toni was understanding and that made you feel incredibly relieved. So the both of you decided to move slowly, though recently you had oral sex performed on you for the first time in forever. You had forgotten how good it felt.
You wrap your arms around her waist and return the kisses. Her touch was the only thing that made you feel human. She cuddles up to you, her head the crook of your neck. You can feel her blood running through her veins. You never wanted the night to end.
Tomorrow she will call you squealing with the news that she did in fact get the lead role. You're so proud of her, you'll take her out later to dinner and tell her that she's the most amazing thing you had ever met. There's only one thing bothering you.
You're falling in love but you don't think you can admit it.
_
A month later, you have your first fight with her, and she runs out of your apartment pissed, with angry tears rolling down her face. You had let your temper get the better of you. You said things that you didn't mean, and would move heaven, God and earth to take them back. But you can't.
It was storming outside, not to mention it was below forty degrees. Toni is terrified of storms. This is the 4th time you've called her in the past hour, scared out of your wits thinking the absolute worst case scenario. That is what you do best though. You leave message after message telling her to call you, to come home, please come home, you're sorry. The rain is picking up and you decide you should go look for her.
You get in your car and zoom around town, calling anybody you can think of that she might be with. You try her again and again, until on the 20th time of calling her she picks up. Her voice was shaky, it is obvious she has been crying. You get her location out of her, but you know it's only because the thunder is scaring her and she just wants someone to find her.
You pull up in front of a condemned building, Toni is outside, completely soaked, shivering uncontrollably. She gets in, and it takes everything in your willpower to keep your rage in check, so you're driving back in silence except for her occasional sniffle.
Finally you're back home. She jumps the shower to get warm, so you make tea and grab some warm pajamas for her to wear. By the time she's done, you're sitting up in your bed, sketching her face. Toni gingerly knocks on your door frame, and you jump like you've been shot. You walk over to her and pull her in your arms. She starts crying again.
You stroke her hair and whisper the words you had been too afraid to say early. The words that started this whole damn argument. The words she wanted to hear.
"I love you."