Smexy Championship
Other title: Mr. Smexy Universe
GO ME!
Intro: OK… this story is somewhat, kinda, sortof co-written by my good (NOT Bwahaha) friend JC! No, she doesn't share an account with me, we just thought of the idea together! (at 12 pm on a school night!) P-E-C-U-L-I-E-R?
Real intro: so, this is the Smexy Championship! Smexy men from all over the world (Japan) come to compete for the title of most smexiest man ever! No, it's not a card game… It's a model-off! Hooray! Who will Win! Who will compete? Who will lose? Who will die? But most importantly, who… will… be… proclaimed… the… most… smexiest… man… EVER!
I know……… Bwahahahahahaha!
WARNING: THE BEGINNING PAGES ARE EXTREMALY GAY BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO START THIS STORY…SO, TO BAD!
Chapter 1: Welcome to the Smexy Championship!
"If you think you are worthy enough to compete in the Smexy Championship, than please, write your name down on a piece of paper, with all other emergency information, and through it into the goblet of fire! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahha!"
(O.O) from crowd
Men from all over the world wanted to be proclaimed the most sexiest man alive, and now, their chance was here! Every 10 years, a grand tournament was held, worldwide, to seek out the most smexiest man.
This tournament was called… "the Smexy Championship!"
Dun dun duhhhhhh
Only 7 men made it into the tournament, out of the 27 billion other men in the world. So making it in, was a big deal.
But who would make it this year, who would the goblet chose (for the goblet chooses the contestants, basically a rip off of Harry Potter)
Who will be proclaimed the most smexiest man alive?
Only a months wait will tell…
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One month later:
"GATHER ROUND! GATHER ROUND! THE GOBLET WILL BE CHOSING IT'S CONTETESTANTS SOON!"
It was time for the goblet to choose the seven winners who will compete for a chance to win. As far as anybody knew, everybody out there had put there name in.
The king of the world stepped up to his place beside the goblet. He would read the official names of the lucky winners.
He explained to everyone that when and if he called your name, you were to get up on the platform, take a bow, and inter the backstage door.
The goblets green flame a glowed a bloody red.
"Silence!" The king of the world yelled over the buzz of the crowd. "The first name is about to be given!"
Everyone fell silent.
"Now, I want you to all act in a respectable manor when the names are called. No bad behavior or rough housing. If any of this is spotted at all, I'll- OWWW HOLY MOTHER F'IN COW CRUDDY POOH!"
(O.O)
The goblet had flung a piece of paper at the king of the world, unfortunately, it was still burning!
"What the hell is wrong with you? You don't through burning pieces of filthy paper at kings! Commoners, yes, BUT KINGS? U'RE FIRED!"
(o.o)
"You can't fire the goblet, sir king." A youngest brunette had just entered the stage. She was quite pretty. Her name was Tea gardener. (duh)
"I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! I'M THE BLOODY KING! YOUR NOTHING BUT A JUDGE!"
"WHAT WAS THAT!"
"Ummm… nothing!" (T.T) The king took to cowering in a corner.
"Now, I suggest you read the GOD DAMN BLOODY NAME, before the crowd over there goes into a riot! Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes'm!"
The king stood up and brushed off his coat. "Now, the first name is…
JOEY WHEELER!
Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"ah shut up! Your just jealous! Now move your fat buts as I make my way up to the stage!"
pause, as a single figure moved through the crowd.
Joey hopped up on stage.
(O.O)
"What?"
"This can't be right."
"what can't be right?"
"This is supposed to be a tournament for the most smexiest men, but your"-
"But I'm what!"
"Uhhh…" (the king looked at Joey's raised fist and twitching eyebrow.) "N-Nothing, nothing at all! Please go through the back door!"
"Dat's what I thought!"
Before Joey entered the back door, he turned to the giant crowd. He still had to take his bow, or did he?
Joey put his hands bent by his side, and made a gesture, suggesting he was humping the air,…a lot!
"Oh yeah! Who's the man?"
(O.O)
"Dear God!" Shouted the crowd.
10 minutes later:
Joey still hadn't stopped doing his crude hump gesture.
"Ummm… you can stop now!"
"I-I can't!"
"WHAT?"
"Something has possessed my hands and hips, so the only thing I can do is hump air!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
random person from crowd. "MY EYES! THEY BURN!"
"Ok, that's it! Guards, please remove this man to the back room, so we can continue the draw, and so we may see again!"
Hut Hut Hut
Three overly muscled men come in (without shirts), and drag the ever-so-freaky-wiggling Joey to the back stage door. There, they open the door, and literally through him in the room. (him still humping air)
"O……K……! Let's continue!"
"Hooray!"
The goblet glowed blood red again.
"And the next contestant is… HOLYMOTHERF'INCOWBALONEY!"
(o.o)
"my fingers! MY FINGERS!"
"What happened this time?"
"The paper burned my fingers!"
"… are you physically retarded?"
"What?- NO! That doesn't make sense! It would make more sense if you called me mentally retarded, emphasizing stupidity, but physically means-HEY! ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY?"
"………no…"
"DAMN STRAIGHT!"
The king of the world started unraveling the next name!
"Duke Devlin!"
Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"HAHUMM" (couple punching sounds)
:'( "I mean… YEAH!"
And so goes on the next names.
Tristan Taylor
Mokuba Kaiba
Yugi Motou
SOLOMON MOTOU?
Seto Kaiba
(all contestants have entered the back stage door)
"HA! I knew I would make it! I win everything!"
"Well, you haven't won a duel against me, Kaiba."
( ) "Do you want to die?"
"Why?"
"because you insulted me."
"Why?"
"Because I was boasting."
"Why?"
"Because I made the tournament."
"Why?"
"Because I bribed- OOPS! I mean, because I'm so smexy!"
(O.O)
"LIAR! You bribed the king of the world!"
"NO!"
"YES! Now, you better tell us how you bribed him, or we'll eat you!"
(O.O) "Eat him Yugi?"
"Ummm… fine, call him only remotely good looking."
"YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"
"Oh yes I would!"
"… FINE! I see I have no choice but to tell you my bribery sceam! Well, I bribed the king of the world with a promise."
"What promise?"
"I promised him he could have a sleepover with Bakura for one night."
(O.O) "BAKURA? How'd you ever get Bakura to agree to that?"
"Well…"
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elsewhere:
"Jolly good! I've finally finished my Berenstein Bear diorama for school on Tuesday! Now I can watch television! Hooray!"
Bakura made his way over to the TV and sat on the couch.
BANG!
"Goodness me! What in the bloody good crumpets was that?"
"Ryou Bakura?"
"Yes?"
"Your coming with us!"
"WHA?"
The guards who had come through the smashed open door, all grabbed Bakura and dragged him outside the door. Never to be seen again. Or was he?
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(O.O) "You are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo screwed!"
"Oh really?"
"yes!"
"Damn!"
…
"By the way Yugi, why the devil is your grandpa here?"
"Oh, I have no pigmy clue!"
(O.O) "…Right! Well, at least I won't have to worry about him as competition. He's way too old to be smexy! And Joey's too ugly (not in my opinion), Tristan's too hobosexual, (yes, hobo), Mokuba's too younge, (but damn cute), Yugi's too shrimpy, fat, sexually challenged, poor, stupid, retarded faggish"-
"I'm standing right here!"
-"So the only real competition I have is Duke!"
"Umm, excuse me! I hope you don't mind me asking, but who the BLOODY HELL are you?"
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"Well, thankyou for trying out this year, but as you can see, the final contestants have all been chosen! The tournament will start tomorrow, so you can all GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN! GO HOME! YOU BUNCH OF LOSERS!"
(O.O) "Hey, that was mean!"
"Let's have another election!"
"Yeah! I want a new king!"
"Bwahahahahahahhahahahahaha! Kings aren't chosen by elections! It's bloodline! The only way for a new king is if I have a son! So… if you want a new king, you better give me all the woman in the world, so a new king can be made! Bwahahahahaha!"
"Sure, sounds reasonable enough! Let's get all the girls!"
"hooray!"
"GREAT! Now, let- HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"
"Well, there is four other kids down there who told us they go a to a wizarding school called Hogwarts. They said they were elected to compete in the triwizard tournament, but the fourth contestant is some guy with a gay name, Harry Potter, and he's the chosen one who defeated some guy named lord Voldemort, and apparently he defeated him at birth, instantly killing him, but now they found out he isn't dead, so they are trying to convince the ministry of magic, but that's another story, anyways, the triwizard tournament"-
"SHUT UP!"
(O.O)
"What?"
"What else?"
"… I'm sooo confused."
"Huff! Did you go into the door on the left or right?"
"Left."
"YOU STUPID RETARDED FIG BUTTERPOOPINGBABBLBERRRY"-
(O.O) "That was mean!"
"SO? WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD HELP YOUR CAUSE WOULD BE TO GIVE ME GIRLS! DO I SEE ANY GIRLS? N-O! SO GO HOME AND BE AT THE NATIONAL FOUNTAIN PARK TOMORROW OR YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED! GOOD DAY!"
(O.O) (X.X)
"O-…K…!"
Everyone goes home for the night, to get a goodnight sleep.
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AC: what an awesome story! You can tell this is gonna turn out good! And funny! I'm tired of writing so I'll type the first thing that comes to mind.
I went shopping today, and I spent 50 dollars on nothing! I'm sooooo upset! I was saving up my money, and I wasted it! GOD!
Things I bought:
20 dollar smexy shirt (long army t-shirt)
smoothie
giant choco bar (HUGE)
bertie bots every flavour beans (no, really)
undies (bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, they were expensive! 9 dollars for one pair!)
Well, whatever, I'm going!