...Ahem. I've been obsessed with Vocaloid lately, and I daydream a lot about my favorite Vocaloids. XD Usually it's too stupid to put on here, but sometimes when I think about humor, I come up with some ideas I think that are good. (Now, remember that I said that I THINK. You don't need to think that my ideas are good at all.)
AHHH! MY DEAR GAKKU-CHAN! I WILL GET YOU! -Sudden burst of hyperness.
But I had an inspiration after watching "Owata!". (Even though this story has nothing to do with it. No distant relations either. I might edit this phrase later on though...lol) So enjoy~
It was a completely normal day at the Vocaloids' home, which the story takes place...
"Excuse me," Miku said into the microphone. "We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. There. Didn't I sound sophisticated?" she said proudly. She was practicing the phrase over and over again.
Gakupo looked up from his shamisen playing. "Sophisticated?" he snorted. "More like stupid, no doubt, especially when we're not experiencing technical difficulties."
Rin and Len ignored Gakupo and both began clapping at the same time. (Must be twin coordination, Luka thought.) "I think it's great," said Rin, grinning widely.
"Yeah," said Len, also grinning widely. "Yeah."
Usually Len didn't grin that widely. He only did it when...well, when he and Rin got into some mischief. Luka felt herself get suspicious. What were the twins up to this time? She recalled last time, when Len dumped a potful of seriously hot peppers into her cooking when she wasn't looking, which, of course, was the first time she'd perfected a new recipe for tuna. Well, only into her dish anyway. And then when she ate it, it was so spicy that she couldn't taste the spiciness at first. Then the devilish spiciness blasted out of her eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. How mean is that? And only because she'd innocently cooked tuna for seven days in a row!
And then there was this other time when Luka had just perfected a tuna cake. She was just going to feed an eyeball to Gakupo. Len had obeyed to hold Gakupo's mouth open—such sweet meanness—and then do you know what happened? Gakupo hadn't wanted to taste the cake in the first place, but just when Luka got the spoon—and her finger—into Gakupo's mouth, Len let go. And Gakupo's teeth chomped—hard—on her finger. Luka was lucky that it didn't come off. She still had the marks.
"…buy some tuna, Luka?" Rin was saying to her.
Luka perked up. "What?"
"I SAID, DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME TUNA, LUKA?" Rin hollered into her face.
Tuna? Of course! Whatever was related to tuna, as long as it wasn't beating tuna into bloody pulp (Len and Rin antics again), Luka was game!
"Then let's go!" Rin said, linking her arm through Luka's. Luka happily followed her. If she had looked back, she would have noticed Len's devilish grin and Rin turn back slightly to wink at her brother.
"So what do you think of this tuna cake?" Rin asked Luka. Luka admired the round shape of it. It seemed firm, and not crumbly. Luka hated crumbly cakes—that is, the ones that didn't contain tuna. And that happened quite often. Oh, why can't there be more tuna cakes?
"I'll buy it," Luka decided. "I want to go back now." She wanted to taste the cake.
"Oh—" Rin said quickly. "Oh, um, I felt like looking at oranges…see if they're good enough to buy…" Rin grabbed Luka by the wrist and led her to the glistening orange fruit. It was as if she thought that if she didn't hold Luka, Luka would run away.
"But don't we have a big stock of oranges already?" Luka asked, confused. Why was Rin this energetic all of a sudden?
"Yeah, but—but I felt like getting some more," Rin stammered. "And what about eggplants? Y'know, Gakupo loves eggplants and I think you and Gacky are considered an item now…and anyway, aren't they purple? Purple's such a fashionable color. Of course, I'd prefer yellow any day, but purple is second! Oh, and pink of course," she added, rushing her voice a bit. "Eggplants are so good when they're cooked with tuna, don't you think? And Meiko needs sake to keep her system going! Sake's really hard to find nowadays! And ice cream is on our list too! And bananas…they are just so heavenly! Don't you think Luka?" She waltzed over to some bananas. "And look at this cluster! Isn't it just…" Rin stopped short when she realized that she was rambling.
Luka had gotten suspicious. "Rin…you don't do that kind of talking often…"
"Oh!" Rin's knees knocked together and she shook slightly. She leaned against a counter to make sure that she wouldn't collapse on the spot. Geez, why'd Len make me go do this? she thought irritably. He knows I'm terrible at stalling… "Um, I just got an energy burst! Sorry about that—"
"Rin…Kagamine…you…better…be…telling…the…truth," Luka thundered.
Rin's teeth chattered. "I am! I am!" I won't be able to keep her here often. Hurry the hell up Len, hurryhurryhurryhurry…
Suddenly Rin's iOrange rang with her favorite Annoying Orange tune. She took her orange-shaped cell phone out of her pocket after moments of feeling around in her back pockets, panic, and Luka's gaze boring into her. "Hello? Hello? Oh! Len! Oh, okay then! click"
"Len needs us back at the home!" Rin said brightly, as her teeth flashed in a huge grin that nearly blinded Luka, all fears forgotten. "Come on, let's go!"
By the time they got back to the house, Luka heard a racket going on in there. There was the sound of glass shattering, windchimes tinkling, heavy metal guitar sounds, and stuff like that.
"Are they practicing a new song or something?" Luka asked, bewildered. "Sounds like a concert in there."
"Oh, no worry~" Rin answered breezily. "They'll be fine~"
Suddenly Gakupo's voice rang out of there. "FUCK THE SHAMISEN! I wanna play..." His words were slurred, and there was the sound of heavy boots thudding on the floor. The house seemed to vibrate with the noise.
"What the—?" Luka said. "Rin, are you sure the roof won't come off?"
"Of course I'm sure~"
"How do I know you're sure?" Luka demanded. "I need the utmost conformation."
Rin raised her right hand and placed it over her heart. "I pledge allegiance to the to the United Provinces of Japan, and to the republic of which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all…LUKA I AM ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THE ROOF WON'T COME OFF! LEN JUST MADE NEW TILES FOR IT!"
Luka raised an eyebrow. "When?"
Oh.
"Uh—sometime when you weren't here," Rin stammered. "Anyway, just open the door."
The moment Luka stepped forward to turn the doorknob, the door flew open, and off its hinges. It went flying away to somewhere distant. And there was Meiko, her leg poised in a side-kick. Saliva was dripping out of her mouth, and Len was standing behind her with an apologetic look on his face.
"ARG, WHAT HAPPENED LEN?" Rin exclaimed.
"I put a little too much…" Len said sheepishly.
Luka happened to hear this, and veins immediately bulged in her neck, hands, and forehead. "THIS IS ANOTHER OF YOU GUYS' GODDAMN TRICKS? YOU DRUGGED THEM?" she screamed at Len, who was dodging a sluggish punch by Kaito, who had joined Meiko, who was still poised with her leg to the sky. Okay, this has got to be the intensest trick they ever made dreamt up…
"Er…well…not quite," Len said. "A-anyway, I feel like driving over to Neru's to see if she has some extra bananas…(everyone knew that Neru loved Len. and that her house was far away.)"
"I-I'm sure it'll be lonely on the trip," Rin added quickly. "I…I'll accompany you, Len."
"Perfect! I have the car keys right here."
"Wait, so you're ditching me to clean up this mess?" Luka yelled. Len and Rin had already gotten into the car and Len was starting the engine. Chasing after them, Luka knew, was pointless. Len drove pretty fast, and he was pretty deft at avoiding the police when he was speeding, so Luka didn't stand a chance.
The car pulled out of the driveway, and dust pillowed after it. Luka coughed as she swallowed some dust particles. Then she looked back at the mess in the house. Gakupo was staring at her blankly. He was holding a guitar with 5 out of its 6 strings broken. Miku threw a half-eaten leek at her. They were acting…rabid, and even worse? THEY WERE SALIVATING. On the brand-new, fresh carpet she had just bought yesterday. Luka could tell this would be a long night.
Damn you, Rin. Damn you, Len.
And then she saw the mess of the house from a crack between Meiko's and Kaito's heads. Even through that little crack, she could see the clutter. She could feel the words, the regret of ever leaving this house when Len and Rin were plotting, and the repulse bubbling up inside her.
Oh, fuck.