Tony cocked a head to the side as he watched that familiar green swirl that appeared on the video. Soon Loki appeared, staff in hand and a manic smile on his face as always. He was up to no good, as usual and Tony had a front row seat.
The Avengers were becoming used to Loki starting trouble in New York. It seemed he would appear when he missed his brother and rather than being a normal person and calling on Thor, Loki would come and mess with things until the older man appeared to chase him away or apprehend him.
Today, Loki was in the prisoner's quarters of the Towers. At first, Tony thought Loki meant to free them but it seemed he was only there to make fun of them.
He went to Goblin first scratching his staff against the unbreakable glass, making a horrible screeching sound that made Goblin hold his ears and fall to his knees. When Loki seemed bored of him, he went to the next cell that housed Sand Man. With his magic, Loki made rain fall in the cell and laughed as Sand Man started breaking apart cursing Loki's name and Odin's for raising him.
Soon he grew tired of even that and stopped in front of Victor Von Doom. He placed his staff to the side and pressed his face up against the glass and started making faces at Doom.
Doom did not seem please. "Stop it." He said. "Doom does not like this."
That only seemed to spur Loki on as he flipped his eye lids over and stuck out his tongue.
"Doom is not pleased. Doom commands you to stop!"
Tony tried not to laugh but the building frustration was entertaining. He turned up the volume and sat back to watch the show.
"Doom will gut you like a fish." Victor promised.
To this, Loki shapeshifted into a fish and started flopping around on the floor.
"Doom doesn't think you're funny."
Loki shapeshifted back and started licking at the glass.
"Doom doesn't like germs! Stop it!"
"Make me!" Loki finally yelled. "Oh right, you can't, because you are in jail! Ha!"
Loki turned for the door as Doom yelled. "Doom will not be in jail forever and when Doom gets out, you are going to suffer. Bow down to Doom!"
Loki snorted and worked his way upstairs to Thor's room. Without knocking he opened the door and found Thor still sleeping, snoring loudly. Loki took his staff and started poking at him. "Hey," Loki said. "Hey you! Arise and entertain me."
Thor groaned and rolled over before cracking open an eye. Brother please… go bother the prisoners."
"I did already." Poke, poke, poke. "Either you entertain me or I will find Lady Foster."
"Lady Foster stopped being afraid of you when you started bringing her star juice."
"Then I will cease to bring her intergalactic presents and tell her you refuse to allow her to do make any more scientific discoveries as her place is in making your meals and carrying your children." Loki threatened.
That woke him up. Jane was no Asgardian woman and her opinion about how Asgardian women disgusted her. "Why would you do that?"
Loki smiled. "Your argument would amuse me."
Thor threw back the covers. "Fine! We will make breakfast brother."
"I demand something better than Pop Tarts and waffles." Loki informed his brother as Thor pulled on a t-shirt.
"Like what?" Thor asked. "What nourishment would please a man who is never satisfied with anything?"
"Like yogurt and fruit." Loki answered. "And maybe some eggs."
"This is why you are so skinny." Thor poked at Loki's rib as they made their way to the kitchen. "Eat real food. Bacon is most satisfying."
"I eat what I want. And hurry up," Loki ordered as he started poking Thor with his scepter again. "I've a villain meeting to crash at noon."
"Seriously?" Thor questioned as Loki sat at the table. "You weren't invited to the meeting. You can be very villainous."
Loki watched as his brother pulled out eggs from the refrigerator. "No, Red Skull is kind of mad at me. Not that I can blame him. I did, kind of make him and Magneto work together. It amused me to see natural enemies attempting to over throw superheroes."
"That would upset me as well brother. Your desire for constant entertainment will one day get you into trouble you won't be able to talk your way out of."
Tony got up to meet the brothers in the kitchen. There was no way he would miss breakfast with Loki. He loved having a front row seat of the Thor's and Loki's relationship. They were the greatest frienemies, right underneath Professor X and Magneto.
He sat paying attention to every word trying to remember the exact wording and tones to relay it back to Bruce later.
"So what brought you here so early this morning Loki?" Thor questioned as he started bacon for himself.
"I don't know. I started out wanting to go to IHop but then I remembered that I could just come here and get free food." He turned his attention to Tony. "Tony, where is Pepper? Is she off making all the money while you play with robots all day?"
Tony snorted. "Yup. It pays to have a girlfriend. You should get yourself one."
Loki snorted. "What would I do with her?"
"Then get yourself a boyfriend." Tony joked trying to tease Loki.
Loki was unfazed. "What would I do with him?"
It suddenly occurred to Tony that he wasn't sure what Loki's preferences were or even if he had any. Most villains had a significant other somewhere. As far as he knew, Loki only got off on messing with people. "Get yourself someone who can give you money then?" Tony recovered.
"I do. Thor!" Thor placed a plate of scrambled eggs, a cup of yogurt and some blueberries. "Thor have I told you how much I love you?"
"It is not my money brother, it's Jane's." Thor explained.
"Tell Jane I need money." Loki ordered.
Thor sat next to his brother with his own plate of food. "We will not fund your latest attempt to take over the world."
"Oh." Loki sounded disappointed.
"We'll take you food shopping though." Thor told him. "There is a place called BJ's that sells Pop Tarts in large boxes.
"No need." Loki devoured Thor's eggs. "I've Food Stamps."
Tony frowned. "How did you get Food Stamps?"
"I got a social security number. Everyone is eligible." His alarm rang on his phone. Loki pulled it out to silence it before standing up. "Well I must take my leave. I will be here for dinner."
000
As promised Loki returned, scepter in hand and looking for company. He was more than a little surprised to only see the male Avengers eating while Natasha, Jane and Pepper were putting on their coats. "What's going on?" He asked taking a piece of chicken off Thor's plate.
"Girls night." Pepper explained. "We're going to go play while the boys stay."
"I want to play." Loki whined.
"Girls only." Natasha responded.
"I can be a girl." Loki shape shifted into a woman.
"Crap he's hot!" Tony smiled sheepishly when Thor turned to him ready to kill.
He really was attractive though. He was tall, curvy, long black hair and ample breast.
Jane shrugged. "Works for me."
"Wait a minute." Tony stopped them before they could leave. "Seriously Loki what are you? I mean sometimes you're blue, sometimes you're a dude and now all of a sudden you're a chick."
"I am Loki of Asgard and sometimes of Jotunhiem when it suits me. Lately I've been of Midgard." That answered nothing.
Tony looked at Thor who didn't seem surprised at all that his brother was standing before them as a female. "Jotun's have one sex. Some are capable of having children some aren't."
That clarified some things.
Natasha grabbed Loki's hand. "You're hot enough to get us free drinks. Come on."
Natasha was right about that. Loki's attractiveness as a female got them a lot of attention which didn't seem to bother Loki at all. He stayed close to the other females, smelling each drink brought to them to check for drugs.
He seemed to like the attention he got which wasn't surprising. All Loki ever really wanted from anyone was attention.
They ate, drank and danced together before Loki shifted back to a man and escorted the ladies home.
000
Tony smiled as that familiar green swirl appeared in the prisoners ward three days later. Putting everything down, he pulled up a chair and watched.
Loki went straight to Goblin again making that horrible screeching sound laughing as Goblin cried. He bypassed Sand Man though when he saw someone he knew.
"Amora! What are you doing here?" He looked generally surprised. Tony hadn't realized they knew each other.
"Tried to rape Thor." She explained.
It was quite a site too. Tony remembered the day so vividly as Thor was held by magic while Amora tried to rip off his clothes. In the end it was Jane that shocked everyone by slapping Amora unconscious.
"Again?" Loki shook his head. "No means no
"Yeah, you know how it is." Was her explanation as Loki turned to see Doom.
Grinning wildly and placing his scepter down, Loki walked over to Doom's cell.
"Doom does not want to deal with you today."
Tony smiled.
Like that was going to stop Loki who pressed his whole body on the glass making kissing faces.
"Doom can't wait to kill you. Doom will make you pay."
Still undeterred, Loki started blowing breath on the glass and drawing lewd pictures.
"Doom doesn't like your art."
It was funny until the lights flicked, the systems faltering for a moment before coming back on line. When the cameras came back Tony saw Loki on the floor with Doom on top of him choking the life out of him as the other prisoners cheered him on. He jumped up to save Thor's little brother.
000
Loki was still laughing even as Doom was choking him. "Doom is having fun now!"
Loki kneed him hard in the stomach causing Doom to release him momentarily. Doom went to charge at Loki who grabbed his scepter and blasted him to the floor. He was going to blast him again when he heard the sound of Doom's mask hitting the floor and Doom quickly went to cover his face.
It took Loki a moment before he grabbed the mask and walked back over to Doom. He knelt down to Doom, who was doing everything he could to cover his face.
Loki placed a hand on Doom's broad shoulder to calm him. Realizing Loki wasn't going to attack, he stilled. Slowly, Loki lowered Doom's hand and saw the scars that marred him. Loki brought the mask back up to his face, and helped him put it. It snapped in place before Tony rushed in and ushered Doom back in his cell.
Loki watched not sure what to do. Doom was facing the wall, hands balled into fists in obvious anger and probably embarrassment. Loki knew what it was to want to hide himself.
Loki stepped forward. "Hey Doom."
Doom turned around to catch Loki licking the glass. Furious he lifted a hand and shot at him only to have the beam bounce off the glass and hit him in the face.
Loki giggled and vanished.