Roxas could still remember the first time he saw Axel.
They were only ten years old. Axel had just been expelled from another school for beating another boy up. Roxas' best friend at the time, Sora, hadn't liked the redhead immediately. In retrospect Roxas could see why. Axel had already had his tattoos and who gave tats to a child that young? It had been the first hint that Axel's family background was very bad.
That hadn't repelled ten year old Roxas at all. Quite the opposite really. He'd thought Axel was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen with his beautiful red hair, flashing green eyes and tattoos on his cheeks. The way the other boy had such a ready smile and was always willing to talk quickly drew Roxas out. Something between them just clicked and they'd become fast friends. The friendship had only deepened over the years and when Roxas finally saw the bruises he insisted Axel come to live with him. His parents hadn't really been happy but had finally folded to their sons' unrelenting pressure. Living together had been a new experience for the two boys and they had become lovers at fifteen. Roxas didn't regret it for a moment. He loved everything about Axel, loved his quick intelligence, his outgoing personality and his warm, calloused hands.
"Have you taken your pills?" Roxas asked Axel and the redhead wrinkled his forehead, struggling to think about it. It was always a struggle for him. Finally he shook his head.
"I don't think so." He said honestly and Roxas smiled sadly, going to check the bill box. Sure enough, the part labeled Tuesday was still unused. He opened the little box and scooped out the pills. "Sorry. I… wasn't sure what day it was." Axel admitted, looking down. Roxas gently touched his cheek for a moment, meeting those green eyes as Axel looked up. They weren't happy and flashing anymore. They were tired and depressed. It made his heart hurt to see.
"It's fine Axel. That's why I check." Roxas said soothingly and Axel managed a weak smile. "Here. I'll get you some water." He handed the redhead his pills and fetched him a glass of water. Soon the pills were gone and Roxas wasn't worried that Axel might try to throw them up later. These pills actually seemed to be working and didn't have the side effects of the last batch. It did come with truly hideous side effects of it's own but they hadn't appeared yet. Hopefully they wouldn't appear at all but Axel was being given regular blood tests to monitor that. If they did, Roxas wasn't sure what they'd do.
"Thanks Roxy." Axel managed another smile and it looked real this time. "I'm going to clean up the garage today. Start another project." That was Axel's 'work'. He couldn't hold down any kind of job, even trying would have been madness but he could do woodwork in the garage. His efforts were selling fairly well on Etsy. It was just a pittance but it helped Roxas a bit. Even with disability and state assistance for Axel's medical treatments, it was hard looking after everything by himself.
"I'm glad you're feeling better." Roxas murmured and gave Axel a kiss. The redhead held him for a moment and Roxas felt the familiar warmth and pleasure of feeling Axel's muscled arms around him, hearing his beating heart. "I'll be back at the usual time." That was six o'clock. Axel nodded. He always tried to have supper ready for when Roxas got home. Sometimes it wasn't that good, especially if Axel lost track of what he was doing, but Roxas had gotten used to that.
Roxas biked to work as he always did and reflected sadly on his lover. He'd first started to notice something was wrong when Axel was seventeen. The redhead had been getting irritable with everyone and complaining about buzzing in his ears. It had gradually gotten worse until Axel was a twitching bundle of nerves. Roxas had come home one day to find him curled into a ball and crying, utterly terrified of the family cat. That was when it had all come out… that the buzzing had turned into voices and Axel was seeing red eyes and demonic possessions everywhere. He'd been quickly diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and Roxas' parents had wanted him out. They didn't want to deal with something that frightening and potentially dangerous. Axel had gone, but Roxas had gone with him.
Why are you sacrificing your life for him?
Because I love him.
It had been a hard road to walk but it helped that Axel was rarely violent in his delusions and hallucinations. He just curled up and tried to hide from the demons and it made Roxas' heart break to see. Axel had been the strong, daring one when they were younger. It seemed so cruel that a defect of his brain chemistry was robbing him of so much.
"Maybe these drugs will work." Roxas reminded himself. Axel's problem had proven to be drug resistant which wasn't exactly uncommon with schizophrenia. The new drug he was on, Clozapine, was a last resort drug. It was very effective and Axel was already doing much better but the side effects were potentially lethal. When the box for a drug came with huge warnings it was never a good sign. Axel already preferred it though. The earlier drugs he'd been on hadn't worked and had caused him to gain weight on top of it. Roxas still thought pudgy Axel had been endearing but Axel vehemently disagreed. Smiling at the thought, Roxas entered the little bookstore he worked at.
"Roxas! There's a new shipment of books in that need to be put up." The owner immediately greeted him with tasks, but that was fine. Roxas nodded as he set down his backpack behind the counter.
"I'm on it." Roxas knew his parents were very disappointed in him. He'd had the marks to go to college and become a doctor or lawyer if he wanted. But he couldn't go to college and take care of Axel at the same time. Still… if only these new pills worked and Axel didn't develop side-effects, maybe he could even get a job. It would have to be something very low stress though. Axel didn't cope well with stress anymore.
The day passed by quickly. Roxas rather enjoyed his job. He enjoyed working with people and loved the bookstore, especially the bookstore cat. She was named Esmerelda and was sleeping on a pillow in the window, enjoying the sun and enticing people to stop by. Roxas wasn't sure if it was her or just the nature of the bookstore but something was working. The independent bookstore was always very busy. It was unusual in a day and age when chain stores were king. Roxas was idly petting Esmerelda when the front door opened with a tinkle. He looked up with a smile then blinked.
"Axel?" The redhead looked good, smiling and wearing a dark brown bomber jacket. It was old and frayed but kept him warm enough. Roxas' voice sharpened with concern. "Is everything okay?" Axel very rarely came to visit him at work. It was a long walk through the busy part of town and Axel made the owner a bit nervous. She knew all about the days off Roxas needed to take to help Axel with his illness.
"It's fine Roxy." Axel said with a smile and lifted up a brown paper bag. "You forgot your lunch." Roxas checked his bag and realized, to his chagrin, that Axel was right.
"Thank you." Roxas took the bag and their fingers lingered together for a moment. "That was very thoughtful." He murmured, meeting beautiful green eyes. Axel laughed and caught his chin, leaning in for a quick kiss.
"Always so formal Roxy." He gently teased and Roxas blushed in embarrassment and pleasure. Embarrassment because Axel was right, he was too formal. Pleasure because Axel sounded so normal. When his disease was acting up or the meds weren't working Axel could get terribly depressed. Right now you wouldn't have known anything was wrong. "I'm feeling good so I thought I'd head over to the mall and get some food for the cat. You need anything?" Roxas thought about it for a moment. They definitely needed cat food. What else did they need?
"Some sandwich meat, milk and store cola?" Axel made a face and Roxas knew why. The cheap store brands were terrible. "And some bread? Get everything as cheap as you can." Axel sighed and nodded.
"Right, I know." Axel was well aware of the finances. He often balanced the checkbooks when he was feeling well enough. "But I'm not getting bologna. I don't care if it's cheapest." He said firmly. Roxas laughed. Axel had been fed bologna every day as a child and hated it.
"The next up from bologna would be fine." That would probably be ham and that was fine with Roxas. Axel nodded, trying to commit everything to memory. Roxas was sure he'd forget something but that was okay. He could just get it later and this way he wouldn't have to carry as much when he did. "Thanks Axel."
"No problem." Axel smiled, eyes sparkling with pleasure. He liked being useful when he could. Roxas watched him go and hoped wistfully that things stayed this way.
When he got home Roxas breathed in deeply. The smell of good, home cooking was everywhere and it was wonderful. He set down his bag and walked into the kitchen to see Axel humming and cleaning off the counter. There was a pumpkin pie there and Roxas lifted his eyebrows before smiling at the one dollar sticker.
"Hi Roxy! Guess what we're having for supper?" Axel asked happily and Roxas smiled, going to grab some dishes as Axel pulled something out of the oven.
"I don't know. What?" From the smell some kind of meat was involved but he wasn't sure what. Axel laughed.
"You're no fun. Pork tenderloin with an apricot glaze and roasted veggies and potatoes." Roxas felt his mouth watering already. "And yes dear, the pork was on sale."
"I wasn't going to ask actually." Axel grinned as he let the pork sit. It needed to cool a bit and the let the juices settle. "So how was your day?"
"Great! Although I got caught beside some old bitch trying to use a zillion coupons and most of them were expired. Why do people do that Roxy?" Axel sounded disgruntled and Roxas laughed. He could just imagine Axel whistling and reading a magazine to stay calm as the cashier tried to sort it out.
"They've forgotten how to read? Careful though, you might end up being that person someday." Roxas teased him gently. Axel made a face.
"If I'm ever that person, shoot me. Well, I think this is ready." Axel cut into the pork and Roxas immediately dug in, blinking at the edge of heat in the pork. Axel caught the look on his face and grinned. "I put red pepper flakes and cumin into the glaze."
"Oh. Is that a recipe?" Axel was an okay cook but he generally wouldn't think to do things like that without some kind of prompting. The redhead nodded.
"I got it off Chow. You can make it in a toaster oven." Roxas blinked at that but there were some pretty fancy toaster ovens out there.
"That would make it nice for a dorm student." They chatted a bit longer about Axel's day and Roxas mentioned a few of the more interesting customers that had come to visit the store. Then… "Mom wants to know if we'll be coming over for Sunday brunch." Roxas made the statement as neutral as possible. Axel had been thirteen when he'd come to live with them and in many ways, his parents were a substitute family for the redhead. But they were keenly aware that Axel was not their child and so was he. Axel hesitated then sighed.
"I suppose I should." He didn't sound at all enthusiastic though. Roxas' parents' refusal to help support him with his illness had hurt and so had their negativity about Roxas going with him. Roxas took his hand and gave him a gentle squeeze.
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Roxas understood perfectly why Axel wasn't comfortable around his parents. He felt exactly the same way. The redhead managed a smile.
"No, I should. They didn't have to take me in at all. It's okay Roxy, I can handle it. Besides, your mom makes great waffles." Roxas blinked and laughed.
"You're terrible. All it takes to get you is some sweets." He teased and Axel grinned.
"Hey little boy, want some candy…?" Axel managed a very good pervert impression and Roxas laughed. "You know, maybe we could do some roleplay with that. What do you think?"
"I think you're a pervert. And it sounds great. We could get some of those necklace things from the dollar store and use them to make handcuffs." Of course, it would just be for show unless they used a whole lot. Even then Roxas would probably be able to get out if he really tried. Axel looked highly entertained by the idea.
"Candy handcuffs, hah! And we can eat them afterwards. Oooh, we can get some chocolate syrup too." His voice dropped to a seductive purr. "I'd love to coat your cock in it and then…" Roxas swallowed hard as he imagined the 'and then.' Axel really was feeling good today, although the one thing his illness had never affected much was their sex life.
"Cool it down a bit, or we'll have to do something right now and then I won't finish my supper. And this is really good." The bite of heat in the meat was excellent. Axel grinned but desisted. He wanted to finish his supper too. "And that pumpkin pie looks nice."
"Yeah, it's the kind with real cream on it. I couldn't believe it when I saw it in the clearance rack." Axel said happily and Roxas just hoped there was no mold on it. But he was sure Axel had checked thoroughly. "It was cold when I touched it so it couldn't have been there long."
"Ah, that's good." Soon they were finished the pork and were each eating a piece of pie. It wasn't nearly as good as Roxas' mother's home cooking, the crust was a bit hard and heavy but the pie itself was nice enough. And the cream helped a lot. "Want some coffee?" Roxas thought that would go perfectly with the pie and there was still a half-pot from the morning. Axel nodded.
"Sure." Roxas microwaved the coffee and pulled out the two steaming mugs with a smile. "Want to watch curling while we eat?" The rule was that they ate supper at the table, but desserts and snacks were fine in front of the TV. It was a rule his parents had enforced strictly but Roxas and Axel had both rather enjoyed it. Axel nodded.
"Sure." He had no particular interest in curling but Roxas liked it and Axel found it rather soothing. Like chess on ice. They watched the curling until the end of the match then went to bed.
What happened there didn't involve candy loops or chocolate syrup, but it was wonderful just the same.
Roxas smiled sleepily as he felt Axel shift beside him. It was Saturday and they could both sleep in as long as they pleased. He felt the redhead sit up then bend over him, felt the warm of him as Axel gave him a gentle kiss. Roxas whimpered faintly as Axel slid off the bed, missing his warmth. But then there was the smell of coffee and the blonde relaxed back into a doze. It felt so good to just be lazy on a Saturday morning –
There was a change in the sound from the other room and Roxas wrinkled his nose. The door had slammed, Axel going to get the paper? But he was moving too quickly now. Roxas didn't want to wake up but the disruption in the usual routine was tugging at his consciousness. Then the bed dipped as Axel sat down beside him and Roxas stirred as the redhead shook his shoulder.
"Roxas, wake up. I think you need to call the hospital." Axel's tone was even and steady but Roxas woke up fully at that. He could hear the tension underneath the redhead's voice. "The sky looks wrong." The sky? That was new. Roxas woke up fully and sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"I'll call them right away." He got out of bed, ignoring his nakedness and grabbed the phone. Axel usually knew when he was slipping and the sky being wrong was a very strange development – Roxas blinked. "There's no dial tone." Frowning, he set down the receiver and glanced around. "Is the power out?" Axel blinked and glanced at the kitchen.
"Uh…" He went to check as Roxas got dressed. "Yes, it is. I didn't notice because that silly coffee pot has batteries." Roxas smiled at that. His friend Sora had gotten it for him when he'd mentioned he and Axel could only afford to go camping for vacation. "The lights aren't working."
"Hmm. Maybe there's a power failure." Although that shouldn't affect the phone. Should it? "Let's go over to Mary's and see if she can give us a ride." That was an elderly neighbor who was still a good driver and usually had time on her hands. Hopefully she'd help them for a few dollars. Axel nodded, expression serious and Roxas gently hugged him. "Don't worry. The doctor's will help."
"I hope so." Axel sounded so discouraged though. They'd really hoped this drug would be the one. It was said to have a very good success rate if the side-effects didn't show up. Roxas smiled bravely and took his hand. They walked out the door –
"Glargh?!?" Axel stared at Roxas as he stared at the sky. It was an odd, slightly greenish shade and the sun above them was a brilliant white. Roxas gripped Axel's arm tightly as he gazed around. Axel had only mentioned the sky but it was far more than that.
The town was gone. Their little rental house was sitting beside a dirt road in the middle of a forest. The trees were strange, with smooth grey bark and odd little black patterns. The leaves were big and shaped vaguely like an oak tree. Roxas was no connoisseur of trees but he'd never seen anything like them before. On the ground there was a thick carpet of bushes, fungi and the occasional flower. Roxas recognized dandelions but the miniature roses fighting them for space were quite unfamiliar.
"Wait, you see it too?" Axel asked, suddenly excited. Roxas nodded, speechless. "I'm not crazy? That's great!" Roxas stared at him and Axel's smile faded. "No, wait. That's terrible. What happened?"
"I don't know. But I need some coffee." Roxas dragged Axel back inside, desperate for coffee spiked with something stronger.
He had no idea what to do.