"No! I am NOT gay!" Frank Longbottom shouted at the passing sixth year Ravenclaws who only laughed at him.

"Whatever you say!" one of them called over his shoulder.

"Don't listen to them, Frank," Lily said sympathetically. The two of them sat down under a tree near the lake next to Mary and Alice.

"Yeah," Alice agreed, nodding. "They're just shallow jerks."

Frank continued to scowl in the sixth year's direction.

"Just think," Mary added, "you could win a duel with them in your sleep!" Ever since Frank had earned the best grade on the Defense Against the Dark Arts final the previous year, Mary, Lily, and Alice had been making comments about Frank being invincible.

"And James Potter while you're at it!" Lily interjected to general amusement.

"I just….I'm just so sick of people thinking that I'm gay," Frank said angrily.

"What you need," Mary said, "is a girlfriend."

"No, he should be a total player," Lily grinned.

"Why?" Alice asked.

"Because it's Frank and it'd be funny. Come on!" Lily said. "Frank is a total gentlemen and would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone, so it'd be hilarious if he had about fifty girlfriends like Black or someone."

Mary smirked. "Yeah, I guess so. But still," she turned to face Frank, "if you had a super-hot girlfriend, no one would think you're gay."

"That's a great idea, but how many 'super-hot' girls do you know that like me?" Frank asked dryly. Alice looked away at this.

"Well…." Mary said slowly. "She wouldn't actually have to like you…."

"She would just need to pretend to like you when there are other people around," Lily finished.

"Which means, one of us could date you!" Mary said brightly.

"What?" the other three asked.

"Well, not really date you, but just pretend to. You know, hold hands with him in the corridor, give him a kiss on the cheek right before class, things like that," Mary said. "We could take turns dating you so you could be a 'player,'" she said then she snorted. "Sorry, just saying that is funny."

"I don't think that I'd want to pretend to date Frank," Alice said quietly. (Frank's heart sank; he'd been quite looking forward to "going with" Alice, even if it was just pretend.) Alice had liked him since…..she didn't even know when, but even the idea of being used by him to prove that he was straight was painful.

"Me neither," Lily said, though her thoughts against it were for completely different reasons. "I mean, I love you, Frank, you're one of my best friends, but still. That'd be weird. And I just can't think of dating someone that I don't actually like."

"Hey, Evans!" a painfully familiar voice called.

On hearing James's Potter's voice, Lily immediately said, "I'll do it!"

"Great!" Mary clapped. "I'll go first, if you don't mind."

XXX

The fact that Mary Macdonald and Frank Longbottom were dating was the talk of the school. Still, people continued to poke fun at Frank despite his many protests.

Then came faze two. Mary and Frank "decided that it just didn't work out" and that "they were better as friends" and that it "won't be awkward" that he was "dating Lily." However, there were two people in the school who disagreed with the last of these.

"Are you really dating Frank Longbottom?" Severus Snape asked Lily one day as they took a walk by the lake.

"Um, not really," Lily said. "See, everyone's being mean to him and saying that he's gay and…."

"Wait, Frank's gay?" Severus asked.

"No! Why does everybody think that!" Lily shouted.

"I don't," Severus said hurriedly. "The way you talk about him sounds like he likes Alice."

"Oh, he does," Lily replied matter-of-factly. "They may not know it yet, but they were made for each other."

Severus nodded. Once his fears were cleared, the conversation was dropped and they had a much more pleasant walk.

XXX

"So, Frank?" James Potter asked.

"Yeah?" Frank not looking up from his notes. He'd been studying for the OWLs which were approaching more rapidly than any of them would like to think.

James, who'd been lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, stood up and walked over to Frank. "Is it true that you're dating Evans?"

Frank gulped. While normally James was nice to him, he did NOT want to cross James when Lily was involved. "Not exactly…"

"And what does that mean?" James asked, his eyes narrowing.

Frank sighed. "We're pretending that we're dating because everyone thinks that I'm gay and…."

"Wait, you're gay?" James asked, puzzled.

"NO, I AM NOT! Why does everybody always say that!" he shouted.

"Who says that? Everyone knows that you like Alice!"

"No, I don't!" Frank said a bit too quickly.

"Knew it!" James shouted at Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who'd been playing Exploding Snap the entire time.

"And we never disagreed with you, Prongs," Remus said as a card blew up in Peter's face.

"If you tell anyone…" Frank began.

"Would we?" James asked. "No, I've far better things to do than tell anyone what the entire school already knows like….winning Lily from you for example," he grinned and even Frank couldn't help but crack a smile.