"Goodnight Daddy I love you." I said after he finished reading me a book that I was not really paying attention to. He was acting funny. Usually my Daddy is fun and laughing and joking around but this weekend he has been serious and just being weird.
Mommy dropped me off last night after football practice and Daddy had not shaved and was wearing sweatpants. Daddy always shaves and only wears sweatpants if he is going to bed but it was still early, not even my bedtime yet and I go to bed way before he does. After he tucked me in last night I waited up to see what he would do but he went to bed. Usually I can sneak out and watch football or basketball or something for a little bit before he catches me and puts me back to bed. Not last night though, last night he went into his room.
I watched as my Daddy got down on his knees and prayed but it wasn't the usual bedtime prayer it was Daddy talking to God on his own. I was worried he would get mad at me if he knew I was watching but I couldn't go; there was something wrong with Daddy. He kept talking about the horrible anniversary and missing his friends. I finally went back to my room and put myself to bed when he crawled under the covers.
All day today he was quiet and didn't play very much. We went to the park like we always do but he just watched me on the playground instead of teaching me new football moves or chasing me around. I snuck out again and hid in the living room watching Daddy when he thought I was in bed. He sat down on the couch in front of the TV but he didn't ever turn it on.
A few minutes later Daddy's phone rang and I had to run and hide so he wouldn't see me but I stayed where I could hear what he said.
"Hey Bones….Is everything okay?" He smiled for the first time all weekend when he answered for her. He always smiled when he was talking about Dr. Bones.
"Ya, Parker is in bed….No Bones I'm fine…Really Bones I am." He lied to her but she didn't believe him. She knew my Daddy too well.
"I don't know if I am going to go to the memorial services or not. I haven't gone before…I will think about it Bones….okay, Talk to you later then. Goodnight." he said getting off the phone.
I watched as he pulled a picture down from the top shelf that I didn't know was up there. I think it was a picture of his friends from the Army because it was just a bunch of camo with a few faces. He stared at it for a really long time before putting it back on the shelf and going into his room. I thought for sure I would get caught when he walked to his room but if he saw me he didn't say anything. Daddy was really upset about something. I watched him go into the bathroom and heard him take his medicine and then he went into his bedroom but he didn't turn off his lamp.
I went back into my room but left the door open so I could hear Daddy. I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I remember is hearing Daddy have a nightmare. I could hear him moving around in bed and it sounded like he was crying. I went quietly into Daddy's room and watched him for a minute before I crawled into bed with him. I gave him a hug like he does to me when I am having a bad dream and I held him. I held my Daddy. He stopped moving around so much but his dream didn't stop he was still crying saying he wanted to help somebody and he should have been able to stop something from happening but I didn't know what he was talking about so I didn't know what to say to help my Daddy. His medicine made him sleep a long time so I knew he wouldn't wake up until the morning but I was scared he would have more bad dreams. I didn't know what else to do. I had to call Dr. Bones, she would know what to do to help my Daddy.