She had been planning this for months. Hermione Granger was not a woman who took risks, yet here she was. She had booked the restaurant, bought the champagne, lined up the candles; and he was late. Hermione paced up and down, glancing at the clock every two seconds, and finally after an hour of pacing, she heard the click of a key turning in the door. She stopped and smiled. Her boyfriend of three months, Sam Myer, walked through the door. He looked rumpled. "Hi, did you get held up at work?" she said.
"What? Oh, yeah." He replied, and set down his briefcase and flicked on the television. Hermione sat down next to him. "Guess what I have planned for tomorrow?"
"What?"
"Dinner at Chez Maurice, then dancing at the starlight room."
"Why?"
Hermione blinked. "It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Our first Valentine's as a couple."
"Yeah, about that... It's been great fun, Hermione. But, I think you're getting a bit too serious."
"What do you mean?"
"This was never supposed to be a permanent thing, and I don't think we should see each other anymore."
"What?"
"I think we should break up."
Suddenly, Hermione's confusion was replaced by anger. "YOU COMPLETE ARSEHOLE!" she screamed. "I'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS, AND YOU'RE LEAVING ME DATELESS ON VALENTINE'S DAY?!"
"Hey, calm down."
"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
"But, I-"
"NOW!!!"
Sam scrambled to his feet and ran through the door. Hermione grabbed his briefcase and threw it out the window. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" she screamed after him, and then she sank down to the floor and sobbed.
The next day, she was surrounded by friends, used tissues and an extra large tub of chocolate ice cream. Ginny was patting her hair and Luna was holding the nearly empty box of tissues.
"He's not worth it." Ginny soothed.
"You're far too good for him." Luna added.
"Easy for you to say." Hermione mumbled as she spooned another mouthful of ice cream.
"He's not worth you committing carbicide" Ginny gently took the ice cream tub away. "I've got an idea! Let's go out tonight, just us girls."
Hermione sniffled. "You don't need to ruin your own valentine's day just because mine went pear shaped."
"I'm hardly ruining it; I don't have a date either."
"Me neither." Luna put in. "Well, not one I can't cancel. I wasn't that bothered."
"You two are the best friends ever, but I really don't want to go out and see happy couples." Hermione sighed.
"We're not taking no for an answer," Ginny said "And we're going to go somewhere with no couples."
"Where's that on Valentine's day?"
"Where do you think?" Ginny and Luna exchanged grins, then in unison said: "Strip club!"
Draco Malfoy was bored. He'd been given about a thousand valentine's cards and some hideous gifts, including a singing teddy bear from Pansy Parkinson, which refused to stop singing until he flicked his wand and it burst into a million pieces of stuffing. He rolled his eyes. It was Valentine's Day, and he, Draco Malfoy, didn't have a date. It wasn't as if he couldn't get one, it was just that they were all foolish little sluts. Not that he had a problem with them being sluts; he was just bored of shagging brainless bimbos. No, he wanted to conquer uncovered ground, a girl with looks and a brain. If such creatures existed. Well, he knew where to find desperate singles on the day before Valentine's Day. A strip club.
Hermione's mouth popped open when Ginny and Luna dragged her inside the club. There were female and male strippers, a bar, a dance floor, a curtained off area she presumed was the VIP section, and a whole lot of poles. It was hell. "Guys, I really don't think-"
But, Ginny and Luna dragged her over to the stage and started hooting at a stripper dressed as a policeman. Hermione rolled her eyes. "I need a drink." She muttered and headed over to the bar. She got a few leers as she headed over. She knew Ginny's choice of dress and Luna's choice of shoes were going to be a mistake. The dress was low cut, short and red, with high heeled, red come-fuck-me shoes. Luna had artfully teased her curls into some wild style that was apparently sexy, but Hermione thought she looked like some low-rent hooker that had just been for a quickie in an alley. This was probably the point.
She settled down on a bar stool and the bar man came over. "Scotch," Hermione said. "Make it a double." She glanced over at Ginny and Luna just in time to see Ginny dancing with some leather-clad man whore, and Luna slipping a ten pound note into the police stripper's shorts. 'It's going to be a long night.' Hermione thought and swigged back her drink.
Draco Malfoy was seriously bored. He'd been at this club for all of five minutes, and he'd already been approached by at least four women. One of which took his rejection as a turn on, and wouldn't leave until he said he'd killed his ex for breathing too loud. That got her running. God, the woman actually believed him.
He leant against the wall and looked around the club. There were heaps of women absolutely gagging for it, but none of them did anything for him. Suddenly, he spied a brunette sitting at the bar. 'She looks good enough from the back.' He thought, raking his eyes appreciatively over her backside.
He walked over and sat next to her. She was much more beautiful from the front, but there was something familiar about her...
"Gah! Granger!" he said out loud. Hermione turned to face him, and groaned when she saw who it was.
"Oh, god. How much worse can this evening get?" She rested her head on the bar.
"Jeez, what's up with you?" Draco asked. The bartender came over and placed a double scotch in front of Hermione. Draco signalled for another one for himself.
"Why do you care?" Hermione snapped. Then all the anger drained from her eyes. "Whatever, I'm just not having the Valentine's I planned tomorrow."
"Dateless?"
"I did have a date, until he dumped me earlier today."
"The day before Valentine's day? Harsh."
"Tell me about it." She propped herself up on one elbow. "So, how come you're here? Shouldn't you be off with some bimbo?"
"I'm offended, Granger." He swigged back the drink the barman had placed in front of him. "I'm actually dateless as well."
Hermione laughed. "You dateless? I find that hard to believe."
"It's not as if I haven't had offers, just none that took my fancy." He glanced down at Hermione's dress. Was it meant to be that low cut? Not that he was complaining.
"Yeah, well at least you didn't get dumped." Hermione's eyes flickered towards the door as it opened, and her face became pale. "Speak of the devil." She mumbled, and slid off her bar stool.
Draco grabbed her arm and sat her back down. "What is it?"
"My ex just walked in. I can't let him see me here!"
"Why not?"
"He'll think I'm some sad single after he dumped me!"
"Aren't you?"
Hermione thumped his chest. "No, I'm here 'cos Ginny and Luna dragged me."
"Why not give him something to be jealous about?"
"How?" Hermione blinked.
"And here I thought you were the 'cleverest witch of our age.' Pretend you're on a date with me. He's dateless; he obviously didn't think the dumping thing through."
"I can't ask you to pretend to be my date-"
'Who's pretending?' Draco thought, then shook his head to dispel those thoughts. "Come on, he's coming this way. He'll see us in a minute." He shuffled closer to her and put one hand on top of hers.
Hermione's ex wandered over to them. 'That's her ex?' Draco thought. 'She could do so much better.'
"Hi, Hermione." The ex said.
Hermione turned and flashed him a smile. "Oh, hi Sam. How are you?"
"Not too good, I didn't really think our break up through. I've been miserable since you kicked me out. Even if it was only this afternoon."
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." Hermione said, sounding completely insincere. She inched closer to Draco.
"Oh, who's your friend?" Sam said.
"Silly me, I forgot introductions! Sam, this is Draco Malfoy. Draco, this is Sam Myer."
The men nodded to each other. "So, why are you here?" Hermione asked Sam.
"Harry said Ginny and Luna carted you off here."
"Oh, Harry and his mix ups! I was originally here with Ginny and Luna, and then Draco gave me a call, asked if I was free for a date tonight. I told him to meet me here."
Draco placed an arm around Hermione's shoulders possessively. "You sure don't waste time." Sam muttered.
"You'll be polite in Hermione's company, or I'll be forced to make certain you are." Draco said calmly.
Sam backed away and held his hands up. "Hey, I don't want any trouble."
"Good. Leave."
Sam walked quickly out of the door, casting a wishful glance in Hermione's direction as he left. The second he was out of the door, Hermione burst out laughing. "Oh, god! His face!"
Draco's mouth twitched, then he burst into loud laughter as well. They received some odd looks from a bunch of girls in neon polyester, which only made them laugh harder.
When they'd both calmed down, there was an awkward silence. Hermione cleared her throat. "So...."
Draco nodded. "Yeah....."
"I think we need a couple more shots here." Hermione quickly swivelled around and gestured for two more shots.
"Weren't we drinking scotch?" Draco cocked an eyebrow.
"These go down faster." Hermione gulped hers back and gestured for another.
"Slow down there, Granger. I don't think you're a lightweight, but I don't think you can hold that much liquor."
"You shurrup." Hermione slurred slightly and swigged back another. As she twisted around to get another, he noticed her dress slide up a couple of inches, revealing a lace garter.
He whistled under his breath. "Shit, Granger. What's with the slut outfit anyway?"
Hermione frowned. She wasn't quite drunk enough not to care that she was exposing herself; and she tugged her dress over her thighs. "Ginny and Luna dressed me up when they dragged me out here," She shook her head "They think me dressing like some low rent hooker will make a man fall head over heels for me."
"Well, I wouldn't say I was head over heels for you, but I'm not complaining about the dress." It was only after he'd drunk back a shot and seen Hermione looking at him that he realised he'd spoken his thoughts. "Shit." He muttered.
"S'ok."
Hermione was slurring again. She leant back too far when she downed her next shot and fell backwards off the bar stool. She looked comical on the floor, on her back with one leg still on the stool and the shoe coming off her other foot. Her dress had ridden up again and he caught a glimpse of lacy underwear before he realised he wasn't the only man who'd seen it. Several other guys were looking at her on the floor. Some casting glances at some poor girl who'd had one too many and others leaning over to deliberately see up her skirt. The barman was actually in danger of falling over the bar he was leaning so far over.
Draco shot evil glares at them all, and most of them turned away. There were still a few who were leering, seemingly unfazed by his death glare. "You finished mentally undressing my date yet?" He snarled, and this time they all turned away.
Draco glanced back down at Hermione and found her in the same position with a sloppy smile on her face. "Whoopshy." She slurred, and made a move to get to her feet. It was a slow attempt, like a fawn trying to stand for the first time. Draco knelt down and pulled her up. She staggered and fell against his chest. She made no move to pull away, but hugged him instead. "Your chesht ish comfsmy."
Draco smiled and peeled her off him. "Just how many have you had?"
She waved a hand absently. "One, two, shixteen..."
Draco smiled again. "I think I'd better take you home. You can't even count!"
Hermione frowned "Why? Drinking ish gooooood. I ishn't finishhhed yet."
"Well for one thing: You're hardly making sense, and another: if I leave you here, you're going to wind up in a seedy motel with some random guy you've never met."
Hermione waved her hand again. "Pish. Wouldshn't be shome random guy."
"Oh?" Draco raised an eyebrow. "Who would it be then?"
Hermione snuggled into his chest. "You."
Draco was shocked to say the least, but Hermione kind of ruined the romance when she hiccupped. He brought himself back to reality to remember that she was drunk, she didn't mean it. Even if she did, he couldn't take advantage of her while she wasn't aware of what she was doing.
"Ok, let's get you home." He pulled one of her arms around his shoulders, she leant all her weight on him and together they left the bar.
Ginny glanced up from under the table. "Ishn't that Malfoy and Her- Hermia- Hermaninny?"
Luna looked out from under the policeman's hat she was wearing. "Nah. Couldn't shbe. Norrina million yearsh. And you gorra name wrong."
"What'sh her name?"
Luna ducked back under the hat. "Hurmiofrinny."
Hermione and Draco staggered into the street (well, it was more Hermione staggering with Draco trying to support her).
"Lemme walk on my oooown." Hermione moaned.
Draco shrugged and let her go. "All right then."
Hermione took one step and the pavement rushed up to meet her face. Draco quickly caught her and pulled her back up. "Woah. Easy there."
He pulled her arm back around his shoulders and they staggered forward. It was slow progress and eventually he rolled his eyes and simply pulled her into his arms.
Hermione shrieked and Draco shushed her. "Pipe down! I'm not going to kill you!"
Hermione settled for moaning and crushing her head against his chest. She promptly fell asleep in his arms. Draco watched her for a few seconds, then realised his dilemma. He didn't know where she lived. He sighed when he realised he'd have to wake her. He shook her gently in his arms and she jolted awake.
"Hey," he whispered. "Didn't want to wake you, but I don't know where you live." He smiled sheepishly.
Hermione groaned. "Shleepy."
"I know. Just tell me where you live, then you can go back to sleep."
"23 Bradfshmord Shreet. Flat 2B."
Draco rolled his eyes. "23 Bradford Street. Flat 2B." And they apparated away.
They appeared in a hallway outside a simply painted white door with 2B in gold letters. 'Crap.' Draco thought. 'No key.' There was a plain brown welcome mat. It was worth a shot... he crouched carefully, still balancing Hermione, and lifted up the mat. Aha! Spare key! He stood slowly and inserted the key into the lock. It turned with a click and he stepped into Hermione's living room. He snapped the light on and headed over to a door he guessed was her bedroom. He opened it with his elbow, and luckily it was her room. He peeled the cover back and deposited Hermione on the bed. He slid her shoes off and pulled the covers over her. She mumbled and rolled over. Her eyes opened blearily and she grabbed his arm. "Don't leave me." She whispered. She only had a hint of a slur in this sentence.
"I won't leave you." He said softly.
She smiled sleepily and nestled into her pillow. Draco kicked off his shoes and lay on the bed next to her. Luckily, it was a double bed, so there was plenty of room without it being awkward. He flopped back into the pillows and fell into dreams of scotch, garters and red dresses.
Hermione jolted awake the next morning to the sound of pounding drums. 'Ugh,' she thought. 'Who's playing drums at this hour?' Then she realised the pounding was coming from inside her head. 'Owwww, how much did I drink? Oh, evil booze. And why's my bed so warm?' She glanced down next to her and squeaked. What the hell was Draco Malfoy doing in her bed? She did a quick inventory. 'Ok, clothes still on. Shoes off though. He's still got his clothes on, no shoes either. Phew, we didn't do the deed. We just slept next to each other.'
It was then that Draco sat up, his hair all rumpled. He rubbed at his temples, but apparently he only had a slight headache, not crashing waves and thunder inside his head, like she did.
"Hey." He said.
She attempted to say it back but what came out was: "Ow."
Draco grinned. "I thought you'd say that." He rolled off the bed. "Point me towards the kitchen and I'll make you my unfailing hangover cure."
"Through the open doorway." She muttered and ducked under the covers.
She heard the creak of the floorboards and his feet pad across the carpeted living room floor to the kitchen. She snuggled back under the covers, but was rudely awakened a few minutes later by some foul stench. She poked her head out to see Draco sipping out of a mug and holding another out to her. That was where the smell was coming from. She took the mug and peered inside it to discover some form of sludgy liquid.
"What's this?" She groaned, rubbing her head.
"Potion. Awful taste but cures your hangover like that." He snapped his fingers.
Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Why aren't you drinking it?"
"Mine's not so bad. It's so awful I only take it when I binge drink. Like you last night for example. Should've seen yourself stumbling all over the place."
"Shut up," she moaned "What else did I do?"
"Let's see.... your ex came in."
"Oh god."
"Uh huh, then you drank a whole load of shots and fell off your bar stool and drew the attention of a LOT of men. Nice thong by the way."
"Crap. Do I get my memory back if I drink this?"
"Yep. But you can't erase my memory." He grinned. "The image of the Gryffindor princess stumbling around and exposing her knickers to the world will remain in my memory forever."
Hermione swatted at him and he neatly dodged. She rolled her eyes and drank back the potion. She placed the mug on the night stand when she finished it. "Oh god, that's awful."
"I warned you."
"Get out."
"Huh?"
"I need to get changed, idiot. I'm not making breakfast in a mini dress."
"Dashed my hopes there, Granger."
"Funny. Shove off."
Draco stuck his tongue out. "Meanie."
"Child. Now push off, I mean it." She picked up her stiletto lying by the bed and aimed at his head.
He held up his hands. "Ok! Leaving! Don't throw a shoe at my face!"
"It wasn't your face I was going to aim for." She lowered the shoe and aimed at another body part.
"Gah!" Draco clapped his hands over his crotch and did some sort of backwards dance out the room. "I get the idea! Me leave, you change."
"Wow, it can learn."
Draco rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him.
A few minutes later, Hermione exited the bedroom clad in denim shorts and an old vest top with her hair brushed back in a ponytail seeing as how the weather was pleasantly warm.
There was no sign of Malfoy, but a delicious scent wafting from the kitchen. She headed to investigate, and found Draco flipping pancakes. She leant against the counter. "Wow, it can cook too."
He turned and grinned at her. "Shocking isn't it?"
"Seriously though," Hermione hitched herself onto the counter and dangled her legs. "When did you learn to cook?"
Draco didn't respond, but stared at her legs. Hermione had to snap her fingers twice to wake him from his trance. Fortunately for him, she was unobservant today and hadn't noticed where he was staring. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"When did you learn to cook?"
"Oh. I always found it fascinating as a child and got a house elf to teach me when I was eleven." He flipped the pancakes onto a plate and squirted them with maple syrup.
Hermione picked one up and bit into it. "Oh my God, these are amazing!"
Draco hung a tea towel over his shoulder and bit into one himself. "I'm a man of many talents."
Hermione swatted at his shoulder. "Why are you making me breakfast anyway? Did I miss something? Last time I checked, we hated each other and now you're playing my house husband?"
"Well, I couldn't miss seeing Hermione Granger as drunk as a skunk. Besides, we had fun last night didn't we?"
"Yeah, we did." Hermione grinned, but then wagged her finger. "I'm insulted by your 'drunk as a skunk' comment. Make me more pancakes and I'll forgive you."
"You got it." He poured more batter into the pan, and Hermione snagged the tea towel off his shoulder and wandered into the living room, wiping her hands on it.
"Hey, I need that!" He yelled after her, and the tea towel came sailing through the doorway and hit him in the face. "Oh, very mature, Granger."
"It was funny and you know it!" Hermione sang from the living room.
He shook his head, grinning. They were acting like a married couple, and the thought of that didn't disgust him. He flipped the new pancakes onto the plate and headed into the living room.
Hermione was bent over some large silver box with strange black circles.
"What's that thing?" he asked, putting the plate on the coffee table.
"A stereo."
"A whateo?"
"STEREO. It plays music from these speakers." She tapped the black circles. She clicked a few buttons then grinned when a catchy tune came on. "I haven't listened to this in forever." She started dancing round the room, tapping her feet in time with the music. She grabbed Draco's wrist and made him dance with her.
"This song's from the seventies," She said, as Draco spun her round. "But it always reminds me of the fifties for some reason."
Draco grinned and pulled her up so her legs circled his waist, and he dipped her backwards before righting her again.
"Excellent fifties move." Hermione smirked, spinning round some more.
We love to boogie, we love to boogie
Jitterbug boogie, Bolan pretty boogie
We love to boogie on a Saturday night
Belinda Mae Fender's got a Cadillac Bone
Jenny's lost her cherry walking
all the way home
The passions of the Earth blasted it's mind
Now it's neat sweet ready for
the moon based grind
We love to boogie
We love to boogie on a Saturday night
We love to boogie
High school boogie, jitterbug boogie
We love to boogie on a Saturday night
You rattlesnake out with your tail feathers high
Jitterbug left and smile to the sky
With your black velvet cape
and your stovepipe hat
Be-bop baby the dance is where it's at
I love to boogie
Yes I love to boogie on a Saturday night
I said I love to boogie, I love to boogie
Jitterbug boogie, I love to boogie
I love to boogie on a Saturday night
I love to boogie.
Hermione laughed when the song ended. "You're quite the dancer." She giggled some more, but stopped when she realised Draco was staring at her intently. "What's wrong?" she asked.
She felt her eyes pop open when he crushed his lips to hers. It only took her a second to adjust and kiss him back, fisting her hands in his hair.
Unfortunately, two halves of her brain were arguing with each other, which kind of ruined the moment:
'What are you doing? This is Malfoy! The evil little rat from Hogwarts! You despise him remember?'
'Oh, shut up! He's a good kisser!'
'Well of course he is! How many girls has he been with? What makes you think you're not just another notch on his bedpost?'
'He's changed! He's cute, gorgeous, funny, gorgeous, he made me breakfast, he's gorgeous, nice and have I said gorgeous!?!'
'That doesn't make up for the fact that he picked on you mercilessly at school!'
'Yes it does! He's changed; we're both adults, not silly squabbling children.'
'Remember the giant teeth?'
'That was aimed at Harry! It hit me by mistake but I got my teeth perfected at last in the hospital wing!'
'How many times did he call you mudblood? Remember that? How many nights did that word from his lips have you crying into your pillow?'
'Shut up! That's in the past, it's over and he's changed. Now I am going to continue kissing him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!'
'Mudblood.'
Hermione pulled away from Draco. "What are we doing? You hate me remember?"
Draco's pulled her back against his chest. "Would we have kissed like that if I hated you? Would I have made you breakfast if I hated you? Would I have helped you home from a bar if I hated you? No, I think I'm only just realising how much I don't hate you."
"You called me a mudblood so many times. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?"
"I do, and I'm so sorry. I can't ever take back who I used to be, no matter how much I want to. All I can do is move on, beg for forgiveness and try to make up for it. But I can't do that if you won't let me."
Hermione sighed and rested her head on his chest. "To think, just last night I was sobbing because my boyfriend dumped me the day before Valentine's Day. Now I'm with another man," She looked up at him, smiling "And completely ecstatic."
Draco smiled and tugged her over to the coffee table. "Speaking of what today is..." He gestured to the plate of heart shaped pancakes. "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hermione laughed and kissed him again. But this time her brain didn't argue with itself. This time it was perfect.
AN: This is a oneshot, but I'll make a sequel if people want me to :)