Note to readers: the characters in the story aren't always jerks; I just needed to get the girls mad, that's all. Also, in this story, Sheik is biologically a boy. I never played Oot. Live with it.
"Let me go, Bowser!" screamed Peach one day "Why do you always kidnap me anyway?"
"Every Koopa King needs a Koopa Queen." Said the Koopa King.
"Not if I have anything to say about it!" said Mario, saving Peach.
"Well, Princess, you're safe! How about a reward kiss?"
WHAMM-O!!!!!
"You're no better than Bowser!" screamed Peach, storming off, and putting her newly-dented pan away.
Elsewhere…
"Another date, Link? That's the 7th one this week…and it's Tuesday" said Zelda "Can't we take a break, or something?"
"Well, seeing as I'm the BOYfriend and you're the GIRLfriend, you gotta do what I say."
"DID YOU GROW UP IN THE MIDDLE AGES!?!?!?!?!?!"
"yes…"
Elsewhere, again, Samus was overhearing Cpt. Falcon and Snake argue over which one of them would be Samus's boyfriend. She doesn't want a boyfriend. She gets pissed.
Soon, Samus finds the other girls (Zelda, Peach, Nana, and Princess Jigglypuff), and speaks of teaching the "jerks" some manners.
"We could KILL them…"said Nana, who didn't even have a boyfriend (Popo is her brother)
"…Are…are you getting enough air through that hood, Nana?" asked Zelda.
"I have an idea!" said Jigglypuff "I recently acquired a certain potion that we can use on them. Now, my boyfriend isn't giving me problems, but this potion will assure that they'll respect girls, more." (It's worth noting at this point that this is the Princess's first wacky scheme, so none of the characters know the trouble that they'll get into with her)
"So what does it do-" Samus began, but then it dawned on her what the young Princess means. "Ooooooooooooh, no. No. You're not even to think of that anymore. Even in this case, that goes way too far. Who even sold you a gender potion in the first place?!"
"I made it myself just for something to do…"
"Well, don't use it! We'll think of something else to do"
Everyone else walked off, except for the Princess, who had an idea…a rotten idea…a festering road kill ala au gratin idea!