A/N: (Disclaimer) I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of its characters. Eoin Colfer owns everything. I do not profit from this work. It is purely for entertainment.
Minerva's Diary
Chapter 1: Welcome to My Mind
Have you ever had someone that you love so much, despite all of their flaws and imperfections, return that love? Has that person known the worst sides of you, but still thought you were perfect? That person makes you want to be the great person they see and the idea of failing or letting them down actually hurts. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? I really don't either.
The only person I really love that way is my little brother, Beau. He can really be an evil little twerp, and at times I really can't stand him. He will do something really terrible and I will want to hurt him, but then he will turn around and look at me with wonder and respect in his eyes and I will forget that I hate him. Sometimes he looks at me like I am the most perfect thing in the world and I can see him trying to be like me. It reminds me to be good. The idea of that small little child losing respect for me is enough to make me try to be nicer to everyone. I would give up my soul and life to a stranger before he could see me do a single bad thing.
He was hurt so many times before. He was hit the hardest when our mother left. He blamed himself. I didn't care that she left. I knew she was having an affair with the gardener, I really didn't care. I felt sorry for my dad and sometimes, I wish she would have stayed for him and Beau. She made her decision. She abandoned my family. We are better off without her. She hardly gave us the love and nurturing we needed when she was here. I don't miss her but, I know Beau does. I hate her for hurting the person I love most in my life. I want her to suffer for bringing Beau pain. I was always more of a mother to him than she was, but she filled a place I never could.
Sometimes I wish I have someone to love, the way I love Beau, whom is not my family. I want to feel this love with someone that is more than a friend. I thought I might have found someone like this, but he kind of vanished. I was kind of the reason he vanished, too. His name was Artemis.
It has been almost two years. I was twelve at the time. I was young, and stupid. Okay, I honestly wasn't that stupid. I am a genius. No, I am not boasting. I am actually a genius. That does not mean that I am very wise, though. Two years ago, when I was determined to win a Nobel Prize at any cost, I was extremely foolish.
I hurt creatures and caused people I loved to be at risk. I was driven. I had discovered a new species. I discovered a demon. I hired this despicable man to help me capture it, Billy Kong. This was one of my major mistakes, but at the time I wasn't aware that Mr. Kong held a personal grudge against the magical creatures. Kong attacked my family and kidnapped me to get to the demons. Artemis, at the time, stole the demon away from me, to protect it. Then, he devised a plan to rescue me and save the demon race. In the process though, he disappeared, promising he would be back some day. He passed through time and space, literally. I am long over waiting for him to come back.
I think I am forgetting to tell you something. Oh yeah, in case you didn't know, magic is real. Fairies are real. They live underground and their advanced technology makes our computers, look like a pile of rocks. Are you shocked? I was, too. After Artemis was gone, his bodyguard and best friend, Butler told me everything.
Artemis discovered the People, as they call themselves. He had become sort of their protector. Now he is gone. I feel guilty. I took the great Artemis Fowl the second, away from the People, I took him away from his family, and I took him away from the world.
I don't think I mentioned it, but he is also a genius. He has an IQ that can't be measured by known tests. He could have cured cancer, and developed a civilization for men to live on the moon. He could have done anything, but he never will. He disappeared, while cleaning up my mess and it is entirely my fault.
Of course, this is my darkest secret. I doomed the world to live in darkness because of my own greed and ambition. I could never let anyone find out. I have grown much since that time. I learned to care for others, and to give up my goals for other's happiness. I have worked hard to make up for my past mistakes. I still keep contact with Artemis's family. I keep his body guard distracted and from going insane. I do anything I can to make up for what I have done, but it will never be enought. I could never have my brother know what I use to be like. The old Minerva is gone. I am the new and improved Minerva Paradizo.