Well, this is the first fan fiction I have ever written and I would appreciate if you were to give a review on my writing style and whatnot.
(Note: Since I tend to use smaller font sizes when writing a whisper instead of stating it outright. I will just enclose the whisper with parentheses here.)
A youthful teenage boy lied down on his bed and shut his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes again and sat down on his bed. He stroked his black hair and afterwards looked into the mirror. He stared at his hazel brown eyes and then shifted his gaze towards his scrawny body. He sighed and grabbed a small book from the desk and proceeded to read it. After a while, he closed the book and put it down. He closed his eyes and instantly fell asleep.
After a few hours, a loud bang echoed in his ears and he raised his upper body in shock. He was shocked to find himself in a forest and he immediately looked around. While analyzing his situation, he had realized that strapped to the belt wrapped around his waist was a scabbard and inside was a black broadsword. He stood up and he then realized that his senses were heightened as he could hear a flowing river that was kilometers away past a thicket. He headed towards it but after taking a few steps, he suddenly stopped and turned around to find an odd-looking tiger.
His mind panicked but as if his body was acting on its own, he grabbed the broadsword and readied himself. Despite the broadsword being quite heavy, his scrawny body was able to carry it with one-hand effortlessly.
He said in confusion, "Huh? What's happening?"
Without his control, his body dashed forward towards the half-creature, half-mechanical tiger and the tiger, in response, prepared to swipe him with its claws. He suddenly rolled on the ground to dodge the claws and afterwards slashed at the hind leg of the tiger. The tiger screamed in agony as it felt the pain of the cut. He continued his attack and this time he cut the stomach and afterwards he stabbed the neck but it had a tough hide, enough for it to survive the attacks. It swung its club-like tail but luckily he was able to block it with his sword though he was sent flying to a nearby tree.
"Arghh!" he screamed in pain.
He regained his composure and jumped above the tiger and after he got behind the tiger, he did a sidekick to the already weakened hind leg and it lost balance as its hind leg went limp. He used this chance to cut the tail and he followed up with a slash to its rear. The tiger then went down on the ground and disappeared, leaving behind pixel-like diamonds that floated upwards before disappearing as well.
"That was strange; my body isn't capable of doing such a thing and yet I was able to do it. What or where is this?" he said as he continued towards the river.
When he arrived near the riverbank, he saw on the opposite bank a beautiful girl. She had raven black waist-length hair that was tied into two pigtails with blue and black ribbons. She had a pale-white complexion, noticeable red eyes, and cherry-colored lips and to him, she had the perfect body. She was wearing a dark blue, red and white frilled dress with gold linings and buttons. A blue ribbon with gold linings was on her chest attached to a black and white collar and a similar but larger one was on the back of her skirt. She was wearing thigh-high boots of a similar color to her dress and under was what seemed like white thigh-high stockings with garter belt.
"Who are you? What are you doing here? It's dangerous out here," she said in a strict tone.
"Uh, eh, my name is Hector. If you say it is dangerous, then why are you here?" he said in reply.
"It's my job; I have to hunt down a tiger-like monster that started attacking people a day ago," she said as she drew her rapier and crossed the river by skipping on the rocks.
The boy named Hector, on the other hand, turned around and drew his broadsword. He had quickly adapted to his body's new capabilities and he could sense the incoming threat.
As soon as the girl arrived beside him, he quickly stopped her and said, "Stop. There are about ten tigers coming our way. Tch, they must have followed me after I killed one of them."
"You killed one? Then you shouldn't trouble yourself any further. I can handle this on my own," she said with pride.
Hector, however, remained silent and jumped on to a tree branch. She was puzzled with his actions and continued to stay where she was. Then loud growls came from the forest and then ten half-creature, half-mechanical tigers came out from the forest and charged at the girl. As soon as they appeared, Hector jumped down and did a two hundred forty degree slash in front of him while in midair which cut down three of the tigers. The girl didn't scream for help like a damsel in distress and instead lunged at the leftmost tiger killing it with a single blow, afterwards, she did a short sidestep to her left and did another lunge towards a nearby tiger. However, the tiger prepared to counter her attack with its tail. It was too late for her to stop and she braced herself for the impact.
A loud clang erupted before her and she saw the boy blocking the tail with his sword, while stopping her with a second sword, and started pushing it back while stopping her movements with another blade that was twice as big as his first sword.
"Be careful, we wouldn't want your beauty to be marred by a scar, now would we?" he said as he parried the tail away and cut it from the tiger and slammed the other sword with full force towards the body of the tiger, crushing it thoroughly.
She had a small blush on her face but it quickly disappeared and she responded, "Hmph! I could've killed it by myself."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, princess," he said as he sheathed his broadsword and took out a phone-like device from his pocket.
"Princess? Where did that nickname come from?" she said in a somewhat polite tone though it was obvious that she was starting to get angry.
"Well, you act like one, only a princess would be that overconfident with her own abilities," Hector said nonchalantly.
She stomped the ground and said, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. (Nicknaming someone you don't even know, how rude.) Hmph!"
She started walking back to a nearby town when, Hector stopped her and said, "Where is this?"
"Are you stupid or something? This is Lastation," she said as polite as possible, which was not polite at all.
"Wait, Lastation? The same Lastation in Gamindustri?" he said in confusion.
"Where else would it be?" she said now completely expressing her utter annoyance.
He let go his second sword and it suddenly disappeared in small blast of blue light.
"Well, I'll best be off then. Thank you, Lady Black Heart…" he said as he put on his headphones and leapt away with inhumane speed.
"It seems that he does have manners but…how does he know my true identity?" she said as she wondered.
He leapt from tree to tree and after a while he stopped and said to himself, "How did I get to Gamindustri…I was just sleeping on my bed and now I'm transported to this fictional world. Can I even call it fictional anymore? Dammit I need to go home."
After a few minutes, he arrived in town and realized that he had no place to stay nor did he have money usable to stay in an inn. He was left with no choice but to sit down on a bench and attempt to make himself at home on the simple wooden bench. He sighed and checked any of his pockets for something to eat but there wasn't anything at all. His stomach grumbled and as if life was playing a prank on him all the passersby were eating food and delicious-smelling ones at that.
He decided to sleep; in an attempt to stop himself from feeling the hunger so he lied down on the bench. He was able to enter a light sleep but in less than thirty minutes he was suddenly awoken from someone or something poking his face. He raised his upper body quickly but his forehead collided with someone else's. He pressed his hands on his forehead and started rolling on the bench until he made a mistake and fell on the ground.
Someone flicked his forehead and said, "Idiot…"
He opened his eyes to see the girl from before reaching out her hand, while rubbing her other hand on her forehead, to help him up and as if through coincidence he was hearing the song "Goddess of Victory" through his headphones. He grabbed her hand and as soon as he got up he brushed off the dirt on his clothes.
"Why are you sleeping on a bench?" she asked curiously.
"Isn't it obvious? I am Gamindustri's newest vagabond!" he said mockingly.
"What do you mean newest?" she asked.
"Let me put it simply, I'm not from this world," he said as he frowned.
"Not from this world?" she now said not knowing what he meant.
"I am from a place called Earth; in our world, this world is just the setting of a game. That is why I know of you, Lady Black Heart," he said as he sat back down on the bench and removed his headphones.
"Please don't call me that, even I'm not used to that; Noire is fine," she said in reply.
"Anyways, uh…Noire, that's my story; through unknown circumstances I have been brought here, to this world, without a way to get back and needless to say, I wish to go home," he said then he sighed.
"I could help you find a way back and give you a place to stay if you want," Noire said after a moment.
"Really?" he said immediately but in disbelief.
"Yes, though on one condition, you go down on your knees and beg for my forgiveness for your utter rudeness earlier," she said harshly.
"No," he said immediately.
"Seriously?" she said mockingly.
"Yes, I won't even reconsider," he said in reply.
"Then at least say sorry…" she said.
"No, my pride bows down to no one, not even to a lady as beautiful as you," he said as his face went closer to hers.
Noire's whole face was dyed red as she turned away from him and said, "What are you doing!?"
He laughed and said, "How innocent."
"…Fine, I'll help you even without you fulfilling the condition," she said surrendering.
The two then begun to walk towards the Lastation Basilicom but after a few moments the two suddenly stopped, when they heard a stomach grumbling.
"Hehehe, sorry," Hector said as he rubbed his stomach and did a small burp.
"It can't be helped," Noire said in reply.
The two leave the small countryside restaurant and start walking again. They walked through the serene and peaceful road and Hector breathed in the fresh air heavily. It was quite calm for a landmass that focused so heavily in the manufacturing and business industry. He was left speechless by the beauty of the countryside and this kept him completely silent for a few minutes.
After a while, he said, "I think this is my first time seeing the countryside of well, any country for that matter, I didn't think it would be this beautiful."
"I don't just focus on the cities of course, but lately the work on the cities has been giving me headaches…" she said in reply.
"Well, you are managing a country, so it is expected but if you want, I could help you, my father runs a large company and I am no stranger to such things because of that," he said to her.
"Perhaps…you could be of help," she said in reply.
They continued their walk silently and as they neared the city, Hector looked at Noire from head to toe.
After looking, he then said, "Hmmmmm, Noire, you definitely are perfection."
"What are you saying!?" she said flustered.
"Well, we can't deny the truth, now, can we?" he said in reply.
"Hmph! don't get too cocky just because I am helping you, I didn't help you because I wanted to, I just felt pity for you, got it?" she said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said in reply.
When they entered the city, he was surprised to see an even more modernized version of the city he lived in back in Earth, and to be honest, this city was a lot cleaner despite its modernization. Almost all buildings were gray or black and about two to three stories tall. In the center, stood a grandeur building unlike the rest; it was rather intricate and well-designed as compared to the dull buildings surrounding it.
"So this is the Lastation Basilicom, I presume?" Hector asked to make sure.
"Yes, this is where all political discussions take place, where people worship me and this is also my home," Noire answered.
"I see…"he said.
They both entered with Hector behind Noire and immediately two people greeted Noire.
"Ah, Welcome back!" the first one said.
"Sis! You're back!" the other said.
"Yes, I'm back," she replied earnestly to both.
However the two quickly noticed the extra person, who entered the Basilicom and immediately questioned Noire.
"Ummm, who is this boy with you?" the first person asked.
"Sis, who is he?" the other said.
"Uh, Kei, Uni…"
This is the prologue I came up with when, I first thought of writing a Neptunia fan fiction.
The story will be focusing on Lastation, for now. I have many plans for this story and I will also be taking into account any suggestions you may want to add in your reviews. Thank you.
By the way, this will just be a draft because I'm not satisfied with it and also I published this for the sole reason of people to give comments, suggestions, etc.