A/N: Okay, okay, okay...so the title may suck...but I think the story's fine, plus the title sorta made sense to me in a way...Review once you're done reading, huh?

Disclaimer: Don't own the X-Men.

Flashbacks of the Present

CHAPTER 1

…Nearly Eight Years Ago…

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart," Marie said, picking up her little boy as he came out of his room in his red pajamas. His dark brown hair was messed up but he laughed with joy as she started to tickle him. They sat onto the couch of the apartment. "Ready for your birthday gift?" she asked him. He nodded excitedly as she walked into the bathroom, and came back with something in her hands that was wiggling to get free and onto the ground. The little boy gasped.

"Mom!" he said happily, taking the object from his hand. It was a golden brown little puppy. A new born Labrador. "You said we couldn't have a dog 'cause we lived in an apartment," he said, remembering clearly what he asked for on his fourth birthday.

His mother smiled at him kindly and said, "Well…everything's going all right…so I…bought a house…" Marie said, starting to fill a bowl with cereal. "We'll still be living in New York," she added, seeing his unhappy face. He put down the puppy and came up to the table, sitting on the chair.

"But how will dad find us?" the boy asked, and Marie sighed at the innocence in his eyes.

She stayed silent to the question, and messed up his hair some more, running her hand through it. He smiled slightly as he looked up. Then his smile disappeared once more.

"Is dad coming today?" he asked, as he asked every birthday.

"Honey," Marie said, sitting down next to him. "I don't think dad's ever gonna come…" she said quietly. The boy held back tears and looked at the bowl of cereal. He started to eat. "I'm sorry…" Marie added, looking at him. He stopped and looked at her.

"You're not ever leaving, right?" he asked.

She smiled and hugged him tightly. "Never," she whispered into his ear. They both heard yapping, and soon the little puppy was at the little boy's heels, playfully running around under the table.

"I keep the dog too, right?" he asked in a five-year-old manner that made her laugh.

"Yeah." Then she stood up and filled in a smaller bowl, a plastic one for pets, with water. The pup made it's way to the water and started drinking thirstily. She looked up at her son. "What're you going to name him?"

…Now…

"Aw!" Jesse D'Ancanto murmured, pushing away the figure licking him. He sat up and squinted as the sun burned his eyes. He grunted as the dog jumped into his arms. "Hey, boy," he said, rubbing his pet's furry back. "How're ya?" he asked. He got up, and smiled at the fact that it was a Saturday. Weekend. No homework. He always left his homework till the end. And his bedroom wasn't that neat either. He walked out the open door, followed closely by the dog.

They walked down the stairs. The dog then ran for a woman who appeared out the kitchen door. She gasped with surprise as the dog jumped onto her in glee. "Okay, okay, okay, Scout, down!" she said. The dog obeyed the command, and ran out into the backyard. Marie turned her attention to her son. "Birthday's in three days, isn't it?" she asked him, already knowing the answer. He grinned slightly. "What do you want?"

"Can't think of anything…" he replied, sitting at the kitchen table and starting to eat his breakfast.

"Well…you try to decide." Marie searched around for her car keys, which she always found herself losing. Jesse watched her.

"Are you still taking me and Trent to the movies?"

"Yeah. And then I'll leave you two at the arcade for an hour."

"Cool," he agreed, finished breakfast quickly and washing his bowl. He put it away, and turned to her. "You're late for work, aren't you?"

"As always," she chuckled, finally finding them. She grabbed her bag and looked up at him. "I'll be home around dinner. Don't do anything bad." Then she paused and looked at him. He mocked the innocence he could easily get away with before. She gave him a stern look. He liked trouble. Just like his dad. Liked pulling pranks. Liked getting on the nerves of various people for no good reason when he was bored. "Logan'll pick you up in say…ten minutes? Get ready, please." She picked up her keys and made it to the door, her heals sounding hard against the wood. She opened it in a rush and stopped instantly as someone stood before her.

…Almost thirteen years and nine months ago…

"John!" Marie gasped, jumping as he came in through her window. It was a small apartment. How'd he know? Yet she wasn't scared of him or felt the need to call anybody for help. Something in her was even happy that he was here.

"How'd you know I lived here?" she asked. He looked a little troubled, but smiled at her slightly. "What are you doing here, anyway?" she asked, her voice showing obvious happiness.

"Well…I heard that you and Ice Prick were over…but given the occasion and the girl…I thought that it called for courtesy…and so here I am…two months later…" He sighed. "I don't really talk to people that much, Rogue, especially about personal stuff. I might not even be that honest or truthful. But I need you to know something. I really cared about you. Since day one. And that care turned to like…then rage when you chose Bobby. It turned to love and hate when you decided to take the cure. Then it turned to a weird happiness when I realized that you were available…and touchable." He smiled then. He looked a little out of place and uncomfortable of being in front of her. She was in her nightgown. The same black one from those many, many, many nights ago when Stryker's force attacked. She was gaping at him unbelievably with her mouth slightly open. Then she smiled.

"I would've really appreciated it more if you'd come earlier…" she said, walking to him.

Her arms came around his neck, pulling him down closer, as he smiled, and kissed her deeply, his hands running up and down her back, then finally turning into a lock around her, pulling her closer as his kissed came down to her neck and he heard her breathing hard with satisfaction. He pushed her slowly towards the bed, and they laid down, him on top of her, kneeling over her, unbuttoning his pants quickly as she gave him a blanket of kisses around the neck.

…Now…

Now he found himself looking at her and seeing the same image as way before. Her gaping at him unbelievably with her mouth slightly open. Except this time…this time she didn't smile. She even looked angry.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. He looked uncomfortable once more.

"I came here…'cause I knew that…that my kid's birthday was around the corner. I don't know when it is…or if the kid's a girl or a boy…so I decided to…show up." He stuffed his hands in his jacket's pockets, and took in the sight. Her hair was shorter. But everything else seemed the same. She still looked pale and as beautiful as ever in his eyes. She always did.

"Mom!" he heard someone call, and then footsteps ran towards them. A boy, thirteen-years-old, with dark brown hair and green eyes, came into the scene, holding a phone and in baggy sweatpants and a long, pulled shirt. Much the same way John used to dress when he slept. The kid froze at the sight of him. Marie turned to face him, her expression turning from anger to pain, and he said simply, "Logan called. He can't take me to the Academy today. They're swamped with work. He said sorry."

Marie turned back to John and looked deep in thought of how to handle this. She called over her shoulder. "Get dressed and get your bag. I'll…I'll drop you off at Meg's."

The boy nodded, and slowly backed away out of sight.

John spoke first. "That's…that's him, isn't it?" he asked. The boy had his green eyes after all. Marie sighed and looked hesitant to answer. Then she too spoke.

"Yeah…that's him."

"What's his name?" he asked, looking at the area where his son had just been.

"Why do you care all of the sudden?" she snapped abruptly. "You didn't…not thirteen years ago."

Thirteen years, eight months and two weeks ago.

John woke up early. He hadn't gotten much sleep that night, and now he was up at five. He retracted his arm from Rogue's waist, and went into the bathroom, taking his toothbrush and some toothpaste, and starting to brush his teeth. He backed up from the sink a little, and stopped at the sight of the garbage can. The lid was on it in a wrong, messed up position, and the edge of a small box was sticking out. He pulled off the lid, and picked out three boxes. All were blue, and all were the same. His heart stopped. Early pregnancy tests. He pulled out the result of the first one. Then the second. And somewhat shakily, the third. All of them were the same. Positive. Positive. Positive. He drained the toothpaste from his mouth and everything, then found himself sliding before the curtain to the shower. Pregnant? Rogue was pregnant? And he knew instantly. It was his. It would've always been his anyway. But…his head started spinning and his heart sand deep into his gut. He started to breath deeply, as it started pounding harder and harder. How…well, ofcourse he knew how…but still…he never thought…they were both just eighteen. And he knew deeper. He couldn't be a dad. Just couldn't be. Everything was a blur to him. But somehow he made up the decision, and walked out of the bathroom, returning everything to its order. He looked at her, asleep in the bed, looking so peaceful and rested. Then he pulled out that duffel of his, and started loading in all his things.

This was a good decision. This was definitely a good decision.

…Now…

He looked somewhat annoyed. "I came to see my kid," he said. "Why won't you let me do that?"

"Why now, John? Why now? Why not last year? Or the year before? Or maybe…maybe when he was five? When he'd ask me every birthday if you were going to come." Her eyes slowly started to fill up with tears. "Where were you then?"

"I'm sorry okay. I'm here now, Rogue. I'm gonna try and fix things."

"He's the son you never wanted!" she screamed at him. "You left. You left knowing I was pregnant!"

"That was a mistake I made and I'm trying to turn it around!" he yelled back.

…Some thirteen years ago, and seven months after John left…

Rogue ran for the phone the second she heard it ringing. She picked it up and answered it with a direct "Hello" And it was him. She had been waiting for months for him to call. To maybe say and explain why he had left. To say he was sorry and that he was coming back. Throughout the past seven months and two weeks, she found herself crying at sudden times, and always wishing he was there. She was eight months pregnant, and what she considered huge.

"Hey, baby," he said on the other end. She found herself nearly crying out of happiness at the sound of his voice.

"John!" she said joyfully. "Johnny…"

"I'm sorry I left," he said quickly. "But…but Rogue, baby…I'm not coming back."

Everything in her seemed to stop still for a few seconds and her heart seemed to burn. She felt tears fall down uncontrollably, and her free hand reaching instantly for the baby which had kicked. Her hand continued to rest on her stomach as he continued to talk.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "But this is the best thing. I can't be a dad. I don't want to be a dad. Not now. I know at this point I'm refusing my own child…and I'm sorry. I knew you were pregnant. I left. I'm sorry. But I can't. I just can't. I'm sorry. I…I'm not going to call anymore. Just…take care. Good luck. I…I love you. Take care…both of you." Then she heard the dial-tone as he hung up, and she sank into the couch, dropping the phone, and starting to cry into her arms. She was going to do this alone. He had just officially left her. Left her to raise their child alone.

…Now…

Footsteps were heard as Jesse came back down, and stood far behind his parents. He knew. He knew that this guy at the door was his father. He'd seen pictures. But something in him was indifferent to guy he had always wished to be there when he was younger. He walked past his parents, looking at his father, feeling hate and anger rise inside of him. He turned back to his mother, who smiled painfully at him.

"Honey, go wait in the car. I'll be right there." Jess backtracked slowly, keeping his eyes on his parents. Once he was in the car, both of them returned to their conversation, having been watching him. "John…I'm late for work. I have to go." Marie said, as she shut the door and locked it, then headed for the car. He grabbed her by the wrist.

"I want to talk to him," he said, looking as pained as her. "Please. Tonight." He paused. "Please." He understood. She was shocked because of his sudden words and expressions of true emotions. But unfortunately, it was misunderstood by another.

"HEY!" someone called out loud. There was a loud sound as the car door was slammed shut, and Jesse ran up to his parents. He snatched his mom's hand free, and stood in between her and his dad. "Don't EVER touch my mom like that again!" he screamed into his face. "I don't WANT to see you. She doesn't want to see you!" Then he fought inside to block away the tears, to not show emotion. Not show pain. "Just go away, dad…" he then added quietly. Marie pulled him away. She had to half-force him back to the car as he looked over his shoulder at his dad.

His mother started the car instantly, and drove them away, as John watched then, quite stunned. He knew it wasn't unexpected. But…still. He then turned away, and started to walk to his own car.

A/N: Sorry for my possibly screwed up time line…this apology is for now and future flashbacks and present scenes i do and so on…so…what do you think? good?bad?great?horrible?hehe...