Eavesdrop

Based on the song "eavesdrop" by The civil wars.

In collaboration with "Dark Hours"

don't own Castle.

"Where's Esposito?" Kate asked as she signs her name in the file Ryan handed to her.

"Take a wild guess," Ryan says and both she and castle say "Lanie."

"Can you believe they still think that none of us know?"

"Let's let them keep thinking it a while longer. The bubble'll burst soon enough."

"Not if you're in it with the right person," she said to Castle. "Thanks."

That's when Castle gets a phone call and instantly she knows who it is before he even excuses himself. Why does it bother her? She knows why but just chooses to ignore it.

As he's walking away she can only imagine what he's going to say to Gina. Although she does have an inkling. But she shouldn't care.

Kate walks past Castle to go into the break room. She doesn't watch where he goes but she can hear what's going on. They're fighting again and as wrong as it is she finds herself drawn to him. She's tethered to this spot in the break room and her ears are perked up.

They're still arguing she's not sure about what though because Castle's talking in one worded answers. This is wrong she should leave but just as she's about to turn something he says catches her attention.

"Why do you always have to bring up Beckett? This has nothing to do with her."

Kate can't help but wonder why Gina even feels the need to mention her. She notes the defensiveness in Castle's voice.

"I like working with her." Pause. "I'm not saying that I don't like working with you."

Why can't she leave? Why is she still listening to this intimate conversation? This is absolutely none of her business.

"There's no more magic in us Gina."

Gina's yelling in Castle's ear now. She can tell by how he holds it away from his ear for a second.

"It's been gone for a long time." She can tell what's going to happen based on the melancholy tone he's using.

Gina gets so loud that Kate can hear her yell "admit it!"

"You know what? Who gives a damn if I have feelings for her? She isn't what this is about. I know you've noticed a change since I've developed feelings for her but Kate didn't tear us apart."

Oh goodness. Did she really just hear that? Her heart is racing and she swears she'll never forgive herself for eavesdropping on him.

"No no what I'm saying is...it's over." When he hung up his phone she quickly walked out of there and back to her desk.

Castle just said he had feelings for her. And if she really thinks about it this is nothing new because she knew. But it was always just a guess, there was never any confirmation. But now she knows. She knows. She heard him say it herself and now it's got her thinking of things she shouldn't especially because she has a boyfriend. She can't help it though.

No she won't think about it now. It's still too early, too fresh in her mind to analyze.

As she's putting on her coat and gloves Castle appears and asks her if she's heading out.

"Yeah, it's late."

"Motorcycle boy?"

"I'd really wish you'd stop calling him that." She can't seem to keep a smile off her face and she wonders if it's because she knows. When she looks at him it's all she can think about.

"Dr. Motorcycle boy?"

"He's on shift tonight." She turned to walk towards the elevator. "I was gonna see if I could catch the comfort food truck." She stopped in her tracks then turned toward Castle again. "You wanna come?" The man just broke up with his girlfriend because he has feelings for her and she was listening in The least she could do is offer some comfort and a nice night out.

"Macaroni and cheese? Warm biscuits? Hot chocolate? How could I say no?" He exclaimed despite the fact that he just broke up with girlfriend. "Hey, I wanted to say thanks for um not mentioning that article or asking what was going on."

They reached the elevator and inside she pulled out a bouquet of flowers from her sleeve. One of the first tricks her grandfather taught her. "Not a problem."

And again the smile just won't leave her face. His either.

All last night Kate couldn't stop thinking about how she eavesdropped on Castle's break up. She feels so guilty that she needs to make it up to him somehow. Last night was only just the beginning.

When she looks at him now all she can think of is how he has feelings for. She knows. It's confirmed and he doesn't know that she knows. She's walking around with his secret and she feels so dirty. She has no right to have this knowledge.

He likes her. He has feelings for her and he broke up with his girlfriend. And he admitted, very loudly that he likes her. Oh god, what has she done?

It all makes sense now. The moments, the coffee, the lingering caresses he thinks she doesn't notice, the staring. And she knew but she didn't know. But now she does and a part of her feels so exhilarated and the other so dirty. Does this count as cheating? She's emotionally cheating on Josh because she likes Castle too.

And last night started a whole new flurry of fantasies about him.

He brought her coffee and now it makes sense. "I like you." That's what he's been trying to tell her, to show her and the sad part is she knew. She always had a feeling but never let herself think about it to long. Since Castle got back together with Gina last summer she's been holding him at arms length, she wasn't about to allow herself to get hurt a second time. So this discovery literally blows her mind.

And she likes it. She likes knowing but hates knowing at the same time if that makes the slightest bit of sense. Everything he does she relates it back to him having feelings for her. Maybe he's just being nice? Maybe he's being nice because he likes her?

Since she found out she's been allowing herself to hold moments and to flirt a little harder. It's wrong, she knows but she can't help it. It's like she's asking for him to do something or to tell her how he feels. She can't seem to control herself around him anymore. She's slowly losing her resolve.

A few weeks later and life comes back to punch her in the face. John Raglan contacted her to tell her what she needed to know about her mothers case. But as he was explaining he was killed by a sniper that shot from the roof of the opposite building.

Castle's been helping out and keeping her comfort through the whole situation. She's drawn to him more now with everything he's done. But a question keeps running through her head. Is he helping her because he has feelings for her and he wants her to have them for him? Or he is helping her purely because he cares for her after they have been working together for so long? Or are they the same thing? Does liking someone and caring for them go hand in hand? And if not what is Castle?

Maybe she's being over perceptive or paranoid or whatever. These things keep coming to her.

They're officially partners now and she feels a great sense of security and accomplishment. There's no doubt that he really does care for her and these things that he does he does simply so she'll know she always will have him. Not to get her to like him.

They almost have Lockwood but they have to get past the security guard to rescue Ryan and Esposito and to arrest him. She has no idea how to approach the situation but of course Castle does and she doesn't have a better idea so she goes along with it.

She tries not to think about how warm his arm is around her or how perfectly she fits there. It's just ammo to distract her and she has to stay focused. The boys lives are at stake.

As they laugh and continue walking down the path to the guard she notices that he isn't buying their act. She tells castle and goes to reach for her gun and thinks about where the best place to hit him will be. But that's when Castle grabs her hand and places his on the back of her neck. And not a second later he was pressing his lips to hers.

She's so shocked that it takes her four seconds to actually realize what was happening. She pulls away and finds herself dazed until it hits her. Like a title wave in the ocean. She looks back down at his mouth for all of a second before she dives back into him.

She has to stay focused though. She can't allow herself to get lost in him, although she finds it difficult. Lives are at stake and as much as she would love to stand here and make out with Castle she can't. Kate only allows herself a moment, one very brief moment to relish in the feel of his mouth on hers before she grabs her gun and bashes the guard on the back of his head, effectively knocking him unconscious.

"That was amazing." Did he really? "The way you knocked him out I mean..."

"Let's go. Yeah."

For once she can agree with something Castle says. As she's walking away she can feel the tingle of him left on her lips.

He saved her life again. By repeatedly punching Lockwood in the face.

It makes her feel worse about harboring his secret.

1.) because it's wrong.

2.) because she falls for him more everyday.

This kiss has been playing over and over on repeat in her head since that night. She keeps trying to tell herself that it meant nothing and that he only kissed her to get passed the guard. But it's not working. She wants to do it again, over again a thousand times. It's like she longs for his lips to be on hers or maybe it's just him she longs for.

She's been allowing herself to divulge into her feelings for him since she eavesdropped on his break up with Gina. Okay not necessarily allowing but she hasn't been fighting the thoughts anymore. She lets herself think about what it would be like to be with Castle. When she lets her imagination run free it always turns out good but of course she has to ruin every story with her logic. What if they don't work out? Being together could ruin their partnership and this friendship they've developed over the years.

He's been trying to figure what she would do if she won the lottery. She isn't not telling him because she doesn't want him to know but because she wants to see if he can figure it out. It's quite entertaining actually. He's determined to find out as if it's some huge secret that no one can know. In all honesty she never really thought about it until Castle brought it up.

"Money doesn't change you, it just magnifies your personality."

This has been on replay in her head since he said it.

"You said earlier that money doesn't change us it just magnifies who we are. What did your windfall magnify in you?" She asked because she really wants to know.

"My inner child, at first." And she laughs internally because she seen that coming. "One who likes, you know, private jets, five star everything. Then I realized the only luxury I truly care about it freedom. Freedom to write, spend time with Alexis. Having that money just allows me to live life on my terms."

"You grew up."

"I wouldn't go that far. That property on the moon?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"I just bought that last month."

It's so Castle that she finds herself really laughing. Not so much because it was funny but because it's something he would do.

She doesn't know what it is about this case that makes her think of Castle more often. It could be that he's been constantly bothering her about her lottery dreams and how badly she actually wants him to figure it out. She doubts it'll happen though, she keeps telling him she doesn't have any. Eventually he'll give up and she can go on living without false hopes of ever doing what she wants.

Before Castle she loved when a case was over because it gave her time to go home and relax for a couple of days. But now that she has Castle it means that's how long she has to go without seeing him. Castle shines a light on her life and without him it's pretty dull. She misses him already.

Maybe she should call him, ask him to come over and tell what she would do.

No no, that's desperate. She'll see him in a day or two.

"Castle?" She said opening the door.

"I know what you would do if you won the lottery," he announced walking into her apartment.

"Yes by all means please come in." What is he doing here? How did he figure it out? "So what is your big insight into a financial decision that I will never have to make?"

"You would use the money to honor your mothers legacy." He said it so matter-of-factly that she couldn't even argue or deny it if she wanted to. He knows he's right and that must the reason why he's so hypnotized by him right now.

"On the way over here," he continued. "I spoke to the dean of your moms old law school about starting a scholarship in Johanna Beckett's name. One that would provide a full ride for a student planning to dedicate their lives to the legal system. The kind of people your mom championed. And with your blessing I'd like to host a fundraiser to fund it."

"You just can't stay out of my personal life can you?" She can't believe he's doing this. His bright smile left his face and she wanted to bring it back. "Thank you that's really sweet," she said smiling herself.

"We definitely have to invite the mayor..." She followed him to her dining room table and sat down next to him. She's listening as he's going on and on about what needs to happen for the fundraiser but is remaining quiet.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing it's just...I really appreciate this Castle." She smiled up at him an he held her gaze. "Why are you doing this? I never would've asked something like this of you."

"I know. I just wanted...to make you happy."

"Why?" She knows she's pushing and she should stop. She's trying to get him to say it but he can't. This can't happen but she can't help herself.

"I don't know. I like making you smile."

She held his gaze, never wavering. But when she saw him lean in she turned away.

"Kate," he whispered and she can hear it. She can hear the love in his voice. And she wants it.

She stood up and walked back into the living room. He followed right behind her.

"Kate."

"Castle," she whispered. "I know."

"You know what?"

"I was there, when you broke up with Gina. I was there."

"How much did you here?" He asked sounding slightly panicked.

She turned to face him and repeated "I know."

He took a deep breath. "And?"

"Maybe we should talk about this later." What did she do?

"You know I have feelings for you Kate. This isn't something that we can just talk about later."

She pushed him. She pushed him and this is what she gets. Slowly she took more steps away.

"Hey Kate," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. "I can't be more firm than this."

"Just tell me how you feel," he continued.

"I don't wanna talk right now," she said. And when he sighed she continued. "Just...just kiss me."

She only gave him a split second to comprehend what she said before leaning in and capturing his mouth with hers.

She moaned into his mouth and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Kate I want you," he said roughly while letting his hands run down her body.

"Yes," was all she could manage. She just wants him to hold her close.

They shouldn't be doing this. This is so wrong.

"Castle. We need to-"

"No." He backed her up against the wall and pinned her hands above her head.

"Stop. Castle."

Reluctantly he let his hands fall to his sides and backed away from her. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"No no! It's okay it's fine. Trust me." She said a little too seductively.

"Maybe I should go."

She doesn't want him to leave but it is probably the best thing for them. But she wants him.

Fuck it.

She walked over to him slowly and placed a chaste kiss upon his lips. "I don't wanna talk right now. Just-"

"Kiss you?" He laughed.

"Hold me." She took his hand and led him to her bedroom.