Love is Evol Backwards

By: Hitokiri Musei

Rated: T

Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is a teen with no family but his brother, and has a lot of friends, but has never had a significant other. Can one blond knucklehead change that? Even so, Love is Evol backwards…

Itachi and Sasuke are not fighting each other in this fic (I do love it when they get along like good siblings!) Also, I'm still using the geography of the Naruto cities, so Konoha is a city; Suna is a city, and so forth.

I do not own Naruto, or the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, which I got the title of this story from.

Chapter 1

Hook, Line, and… Sinking?

"Come on teme, get in!"

A sour look flitted across the boy's face. "I'd rather not, dobe."

Naruto Uzumaki, age 17, snorted indignantly, glaring at the other. "You're such a dork sometimes, Sasuke."

Sasuke Uchiha, also 17, rolled his eyes. "And you're a total idiot."

Naruto growled faintly, but opted to return to the water rather than fight with the other boy. He turned and cannonballed off the small cliff face, sending a wave of water over the other teens.

Sasuke sat silent on the banks, clad in dark blue swimming trunks, quietly reading a book. He wasn't a social person by nature, but he did have fun with his friends. However, this trip had left him out because they were at the local lake.

And Sasuke couldn't swim.

When he was a child, his parents had been hit by a drunk driver, sending their car off a bridge. His mother had been killed upon impact with the water, his father having drowned not long after.

Only six, Sasuke would have died instantly from the force if not for his elder brother, Itachi. The 11 year old had unbuckled his belt and thrown himself over the hysterically crying Sasuke, hooking an arm under the seatbelt in an attempt to hold himself down.

He'd taken a nasty hit to the head, but he'd managed to protect the child from too much harm. After struggling out of the half open window he'd hauled them both to safety, adrenaline giving him the strength to save his little brother.

Sasuke had had to be given CPR, but had come around easily enough. He'd had a broken leg from the impact, and Itachi a mild concussion, but they'd survived. Sasuke had developed a fear of water, and they were both now orphans.

They'd been taken in by a long time friend of the family, a rather strange man named Kakashi Hatake. They'd been with him ever since.

The brothers had moved on well, Itachi graduating from high school at 15, now a well known doctor at 23. Sasuke had moved at the normal pace, but he was the smartest in his school, and most likely to be top senior this year.

Not only were they both insanely smart, but incredibly handsome as well. Itachi was one of Konoha's most eligible bachelors, and Sasuke was the love interest of a large chunk of the school's girls.

Sasuke rolled his dark eyes as he watched his friends in the lake. Naruto had just started a splashing war by flinging water at Hyuuga Neji, who had returned fire. Neji was an 18 year old senior who also had a sizable fan club because of his long brunette hair and pale lavender eyes.

There were quite a few people there, really. Neji's younger cousin Hinata, Sasuke addicts Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka, food addict Choji Akimichi, lazy Shikamaru Nara, and Kiba Inuzuka and his dog Akamaru. It was a sizeable group, all seniors, but there were three that intrigued Sasuke.

The Sand Siblings, they were called. They had moved to Konoha last year, the two oldest, Temari and Kankuro, going to the University and their younger brother moving into the high school.

Sabaku no Gaara was a… strange person. He had short brick red hair, pale features, and a rather petite frame. His mint green eyes usually stayed emotionless, lined with black eyeliner. He seemed rather fond of black and various shades of gray, he was the closest thing to a Goth that the school had. The only one that could get emotion out of him was Neji; the older boy had managed to get a smile several times.

Sasuke's eyes traveled to Naruto, the bane of his existence. Naruto was tall, blond, blue-eyed, and broad-shouldered; every inch of him covered with muscle and evenly tanned skin. He reminded Sasuke strongly of a fox, there were whisker-like scars on both cheeks, had a rather strong sense of smell, and had a fox-like grin.

In a nutshell, Naruto was simply god-like.

His only downfall was his loud and annoying nature. His meeting with Sasuke had been a prime example of this. Curious as to why all the girls were in love with him, he'd crouched on Sasuke's desk, face to face with him. Some stroke of bad luck had made the boy in front of Naruto get pushed, stumbling back into Naruto's rear end.

Their lips had met for a brief moment, and then both had jumped back, gagging and disgusted.

Sasuke, however, couldn't get the idiot out of his mind. Naruto was always on the edge of his thoughts. The way he moved, how his foxy smile made those startling blue eyes shine, the sound of his voice; the list could go on.

Sasuke looked up from his book in time to see Naruto get shoved underwater, which made him smile. Naruto may act clueless, but he was actually very intelligent. He was a high honors student, had gotten his CNA (for some reason Sasuke couldn't discern) and was working to go to college for a degree in visual effects and game design. Sasuke admired his goals and determination.

The teen sighed, his eyes moving back to the pages of his book. It was beginning to pick up…

"BANZAI!!!"

Naruto laughed as he flung himself from the rock, hitting the water and sending a wave over his friends. He grinned inwardly as he heard muffled shouts, and then kicked his way to the surface.

He came up only to be shoved back down by Kiba, and he retaliated by pulling the burly teen down with him. Sometime during the following splashing battle he turned his attention to the only teen not participating in the fun.

Sasuke Uchiha was someone that Naruto just didn't understand. He was quiet and tended to keep to himself, yet he had a lot of rather rowdy and loud friends. He rarely laughed, but it was relatively easy to make him smile, though it was usually a smirk.

Naruto scoffed. Sasuke was also the target of nearly every crazed girl in the school, though he seemed to have no interest in them. With his pale white skin, onyx hair and eyes, and slender, petite frame, it was easy enough to see why the girls liked him.

Sasuke was drop-dead gorgeous.

Naruto himself was attracted to the smaller teen, (equal-opportunity man, doubled his chances!) and wondered often if Sasuke was gay. It was a little odd that he had never had a girlfriend, what, with the hordes of girls he had practically falling at his feet screaming 'TAKE ME NOW!!'

The blond grinned mischievously, sneaking out of the water and moving towards the raven-haired teen. Sasuke never joined in at the lake, it was time that he did.

Naruto darted forward, easily scooping Sasuke's thin form into his arms while the teen let out a cry of protest.

"Naruto!"

Naruto laughed, sprinting for the edge. "Come on, Sasuke, live a little! Get wet with us!"

Sasuke began to struggle at those words, but his arms were trapped at his sides by Naruto's strong grip. "No! Naruto, put me down! NARUTO!"

Everyone backed away from the cliff, giving Naruto plenty of room to throw Sasuke into the water. With such a wide range, Naruto put a lot of effort into heaving Sasuke's body off the cliff, Sasuke screaming the whole way. The others were laughing, only Gaara remained quiet.

Sasuke hit the water with a dull smack and sank like a rock, disappearing into the deep water. Even the three girls were giggling now, Hinata hiding her mouth behind her hand and Sakura and Ino giggling madly.

Naruto grinned, just waiting for Sasuke to come back up so he could see the look on the raven-haired teen's face, to hear how mad he would be.

But Sasuke didn't come back up. Naruto's grin faded slowly and he took a step forward. "Sasuke?"

The water grew still once more, but there was no sign of the dark-haired Uchiha.

Naruto swore and then gathered himself to dive. "Sasuke!"

Ah, plotbunnies... gotta love them. This whole thing started out as a want to see Sasuke in some sort of position to drown. Aren't I strange? Well, hope you liked it, please review!