Disclaimer: These characters are not mine (but oh how I wish they were…). They are the property of J. K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.
For: duniazade for the sshgexchange on LiveJournal
Author's Notes: Thanks to miniluv68 and abeesbuzz for the betas!! This was initially plotted as a three chapter story but was cut largely due to time. I will probably write chapter three sometime this fall. No DH spoilers because it was written pre-DH. There was a bit more to the note, but formatting won't allow it. If you want to see the first version, head to my LiveJournal.
Prompt: Postwar, a quiet evening. Hermione and Severus in bed, reading the new edition of Hogwarts, A History and chuckling over the inaccuracies or deliberate omissions; Severus explains to Hermione some episodes she didn't know about, including perhaps a few racier ones, which could lead to more. Alternative: same thing but with The Daily Prophet.
Severus swept into his bedroom and came to a sudden stop as he saw the chilly expression on his wife's face. His eyes flicked to the box set in front of her on her side of their bed. He knew exactly what that box was and cursed himself as he realized that he had completely forgot to move it to a better hiding place. Actually, he should have incinerated it upon receipt. Instead, he tried to conceal it from the woman known as 'the cleverest witch of her age.' Severus belatedly surmised that perhaps that had not been the best plan. Now he was going to have to deal with Hermione thinking he was hiding it purposely (which he was, of course, but there was no need for her to be aware of that) in addition to dealing with whatever was actually IN that box.
He scowled.
He drew her attention by clearing his throat, while arching his eyebrow in an unspoken question. Better to just let her have it out at him and then deal with the consequences. He'd discovered her temper was much like that of a Howler -- it only got worse if you avoided it.
Hermione was perched on their bed, her lips clenched into a line that would rival McGonagall's on a particularly irritated day. Her eyes flicked back and forth from the box to Severus. She was clearly waiting for an explanation, but when none was forthcoming she broke the silence. "So, husband, look what I found when I was doing my spring cleaning today. It was in one of the downstairs cupboards. Would you care to explain how it came to be there?"
His mind whirled. He knew that lying to her was out of the question; the dilemma was exactly how much of the truth to give her. He finally settled on the evasive answer, "It came to be there because I placed it there." With a further arched brow he challenged her to push the argument.
She flicked her eyebrow up to mirror his and she fixed him with a cold, hard glare. "I ask because this box appears to be a wedding present. A wedding present to us from one of my best friends. A wedding present that I never knew existed." She paused, clearly hoping he would explain why he had hidden away a gift meant for them both. When he did not, she continued, "I specifically recall Ron continuing to pepper me with questions about how I liked his gift. This was after I wrote him a thank you note for the decanter I thought was his only gift to us. I found it strange at the time. In fact, I remember mentioning it to you and asking if you knew any reason why he would do that. This is very clearly his handwriting on the tag. What possible reason could you have to hide this from me?"
"Have you opened it yet?"
"No, as I did with the others, I'm waiting for you. It is our gift; you should share in opening it. But I am much more interested in how and why you managed to separate it from the other gifts. And why you would hide it from me? Do you know what is in here? Why wouldn't you want me to see what my friend gave us?" With that, Severus saw her eyes change from angry to upset and hurt. He immediately moved over to the other side of the bed, sitting opposite her, on his side of the bed, with the offending package in between them. He used to upset her quite regularly, but she had become used to his moods and knew his harsh words were not to be taken seriously. It had been a long time since she had looked like that for good reason. Knowing that he needed to be honest with her, he lowered his head, as if to make a confession.
He spoke softly. "I did not remove it from the other gifts. Ron gave it to me, personally, on the day of the wedding. I hid it because…" His eyes flicked up to her; seeing her staring at him intently did not help his nervousness. He gestured frustratedly at the box. "He smirked when he gave it to me. SMIRKED!"
Severus watched as her eyebrow shot up higher than he thought was possible. But at the same time, she was carefully controlling her face, trying to hide her laughter. "Let me see if I understand this correctly. You hid a wedding present that was given to us by Ron…. because he smirked when he gave it to you?"
"Yes, well, yes. A smirking Weasley is never a good thing and he stated that he thought we would enjoy whatever is in that box. Quite frankly, I can think of nothing that he would think I would enjoy that would not bring profound irritation and horror to my life. So I stashed the box before you saw it. I now realize that I was distracted and forgot to go back and give the box a better hiding place. I will not allow you to distract me so easily the next time." Severus finished seductively, his eyes darkening, hoping that perhaps he would be able to distract her from the box.
Unfortunately she had more experience with Severus than that and was not sidetracked so easily. "Well then, I think we should see what Ron gave us." She moved closer to him, simultaneously starting to pull on the ribbon surrounding the now-more-eggshell-than-white wrapping paper.
Severus moved quickly to still her hands, staring at the package as if it was about to self-combust. "Wait. Wait. If you insist on opening that box, then at least let me cast some diagnostic spells on it. Merlin only knows what could be in there." He plucked his wand from on top of his stack of journals before waving the ebony stick intricately while chanting incantations under his breath. Finally he replaced his wand carefully and motioned toward the box, "Very well, if you must, it does not appear that Weasley has anything too overtly harmful in there."
Severus watched as Hermione resumed her efforts to open the box in the precise manner in which she always opened gifts, bow first, then carefully loosening the tape, then reaching for the card, which she would open before finishing extracting the gift. As she opened the card, she automatically began reading out loud for him:
Hermione and
Hermione did not pause as she heard a snort erupt out of her husband, who was still intently watching the box.
I hope both of our marriages this year will not cause us to grow apart in any way. And Snape Severus, whatever our differences, even I can see that you make Hermione very happy. See that you continue to put a smile on her face for years to come
Enjoy!
Severus, who had been reading the card over Hermione's shoulder, looked up and realized she was very close to tears. Of course the time that he hid the gift had to be the one time Weasley had been thoughtful! What else could that boy do to ruin him! Severus wiped the distaste off his expression by the time Hermione glanced away from the card and at him. He nodded at her and she leaned over the gift to finish unwrapping it. Suddenly she gasped and looked up at him. "Severus!" Tears really did start to escape from her now. She quickened her movements - removing tissue paper and extracting -- books? She handed him one of the two similar volumes. His was covered in soft green dragonhide, hers in equally supple looking red dragonhide. He looked down in amazement at the volume in his hands. There in silver it read Hogwarts: A History, along with an exquisite imprint of the Hogwarts Crest. He glanced at her copy, which read the same in gold lettering.
She now was quite emotional, but still reverently examining the cover of her tome. He caught her eye as she glanced up at him. "His and Hers copies of Hogwarts: A History. How…surprisingly appropriate." It was his tone of voice that caused her to smirk at him herself. She reached out and swatted at his arm. "Severus, this is the most thoughtful gift I could have imagined. I used to bore Harry and Ron quoting from this book all the time! They must have thought I was just terrible! But it was a brilliant way to learn about the Magical world -- The Magical Realm for Dummies had not come out yet."
Her eyes shone with excitement as she suddenly stopped talking. She was going to continue, but she let the next words die in her throat at seeing the amused look on his face.
Severus simply smiled. "It was not only Harry and Ron to whom you quoted this book. I recall it being mentioned in my presence on several occasions. And the past tense might not be needed. You still quote from it more than you might realize."
Her eyes still gleaming with joyful tears, Hermione flipped open her volume and then suddenly got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Severus asked, alarmed. Now that he knew the gift was not going to harm either of them, he hoped to have a nice evening with his wife.
"I have to write Ron a Thank You Owl. I'll go over in the morning, of course. But I have to let him know that we finally opened his gift - one that I never knew about." She glared at him again while ending her statement.
"Really, Hermione. Ronald can wait until the morning. Merlin knows that you will be awake in plenty of time to send him an owl before he manages to arise. It won't make a difference if you send it this instant or when you wake." He motioned to her side of the bed. "Now, why don't you just get back in here and we can enjoy a pleasant evening reading our new gifts? I believe this is actually the revised version and I am quite looking forward to seeing what has been changed."
Hermione looked like she was considering his words. "It is true that he won't get up until late. Maybe I can take him breakfast as thanks and show up in the morning. Oh! Severus! I just can't believe he did something this nice for us. He was still relatively hostile to the idea of our marriage, but he picked out such a thoughtful gift!"
Severus motioned for Hermione to return to bed. "It was surprisingly thoughtful and I am quite certain that food would be welcomed by Weasley in the morning. Until then, come, read with me." Severus Summoned his reading spectacles and placed his wand on the stack of journals beside their bed.