A/N: Pre-ROTF. Excerpt from a longer work in progress. Just a moment in which our OC Elena O'Connor (see profile for brief character summary) has to work out just how/ where one has conferences with an Autobot. Mild language.

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~~ Epsilon Pax & Bumbee

This isn't working.

Huffing out a sigh of relief as the hanger at last came into view, Elena tried to gracefully limp towards it in her three inch heels, all the while balancing an armful of file folders and alternating between watching where she was stepping and craning her neck as she looked up at the towering being besides her.

She was rapidly approaching her two-month mark at NEST, and though she was beginning to truly enjoy working with both Autobots and soldiers alike, there were some aspects of her job that she continually struggled to adapt to. These conferences with Optimus were one example. Not that she disliked the leader of the Autobots, not in the least, for she found that at times he could be the most understanding and patient being on the base. But the constant problem was finding a proper, and convenient, location where they could actually have their often-tedious interchanges, and thanks to Galloway who kept Elena constantly accosted with paperwork, their discussions always seemed to be tedious. At first they had tried the debriefing hanger, which lent itself as the natural choice, but both quickly realized that the constant flurry of activity was more than disadvantageous, it was detrimental; after all, it never struck Elena as a good idea discussing classified information where so many could overhear them.

So they tried the Autobot hanger. But that too proved to be a failure, as whenever Optimus lingered in the hanger for any amount of time, no matter how insubstantial, there always seemed to be an issue that another Autobot wished to either bring to his attention or needed to be resolved. With all the interruptions, they never really got anything done. That's when Optimus suggested they wander beyond the confines of the base, and instead look to find a reclusive spot around the atoll. But that too presented problems. Elena felt guilty, and not a little lazy, when he had to constantly revert to his terrestrial guise to convey her to and from the hanger. Combined with the fact that she always found it disconcerting that she didn't have a particular direction to look in when she spoke to him, it was little surprise that she was quick to put an end to him driving her around; instead insisting that there was no reason she couldn't walk.

But as her ankles and aching feet protested in her stylish, and far from practical, heels as they approached the base, Elena began to seriously reconsider her choice to do so. If they didn't find another solution, Elena felt confident that she would be resigned to limp around the base permanently. As the edge of the concrete at last materialized before them, she slowed, trying to discreetly ease the pain in her feet. Noticing her change of pace, her companion slowed as well.

"Something the matter?" He asked carefully, the deep tone of his voice always seemed to rattle her bones.

"No," She answered too quickly. Suspicious of her tone and change of pace, he paused to study her. Feeling the weight of his gaze, Elena looked up at Optimus after a long moment, "Oh, don't you give me that look."

"The data my processor is receiving from my sensors informs me that you are in pain."

Elena swallowed a snappish reply, knowing that he wouldn't understand it, and she just wanted to whine, "Yeah well, it comes with the territory" she managed at last, motioning to her heels.

Optical lenses narrowed, as his sensors focused, "Is such artificial elevation necessary?"

Elena just blinked, "Yeah, alright I'm not going to discuss my shoes with you."

Servos hissed as gears shifted; keeping his movements slow and steady, Optimus held out a massive hand to his human companion, "I would like to repeat my previous offer to carry you—"

Elena was already shaking her head; "We've been over this already, I can't concentrate efficiently when my attention is divided between the files and balancing on your palm." That and she couldn't sit in his hand while she was wearing a skirt, but she wasn't about to tell him that, not because she was embarrassed, but because, again, it was a nuance he wouldn't understand.

He didn't wavier, "I believe I have computed an alternate solution."

"But—"

He moved his hand closer to her, "Up you get."

Stubborn, snarly Autobot, "Hey, no need to be pushy." Making sure to sigh loudly enough so even he could hear her, Elena tucked the folders under her arm and clambered up onto his palm, wobbling slightly in her heels.

"Is your respiration system malfunctioning again?" He asked mildly as he held her at his eye level.

"I know you're not trying too, but you're being a smart ass."

"I assume you do not mean such a physical impossibility literally and will interpret your colorful phrasing as a common human colloquialism used to express…frustration?'

With an answer like that, Elena didn't even try to keep a straight face, "So what is this alternate solution you've computed?"

"It is quite simple, given the options we have already tried and with a rudimentary process of elimination—"

"Optimus, no excess data. What solution did you come up with?"

"If you find it to be acceptable, my suggestion would be for you to sit on my shoulder, that way you need not endure unproductive pain from your…artificial elevation, and you need not divide your concentration."

"Oh…"She paused for the briefest of minutes as she considered his suggestion, "Alright…let's try it." Under his watchful gaze, Elena had a moment in which to realize that it was a task easier said than done, especially in a skirt, before she actually attempted to clamber onto his shoulder.

"This could actually work…" She mused allowed as she settled herself on his shoulder. But scarcely had she done so, a moment after she rested her legs against one of the panels on his chest, the thought occurred to her that he was made of metal—and metal retained heat. Especially when it had been in the sun. All. Day. Long.

"Sonfabitch!" She yelped as her calves were seared from what felt like molten metal. Between one breath and the next, Elena was snatched from her perch, and long minutes later the pain in her legs receded as she found herself once again balanced on Optimus' palm.

"I'm sorry, Elena. Are you alright?"

Elena nodded as she glared over at the offending panel: a panel that was covered with flame decals. She paused as she processed what she was looking at, before a smile bloomed on her features and she realized how ironic it was that she had been burned by a plate of metal that had flames painted on it.

"It is my fault. I failed to factor in—"

"Optimus, it's alright, I didn't think of it either." She managed a smile, "It's a great idea…just not when you've been walking in the sun all day long." She swatted the flame pattern with her stack of files, "It's kinda funny actually, well now that it doesn't hurt so bad. But I got burned by a flame design…" She grinned as he blinked back at her.

"How is your pain amusing?"

"Remind me to teach you what a joke is."

"A story with a humorous ending?"

It never ceased to amaze Elena, that for all their technological advancements, intel that the human race was still generations away from developing, to say nothing of understanding, but there were still things that the Autobots couldn't understand. Maybe, that was a good thing.

The smile she gave him in reply was genuine. "Almost."