A/N: Okay, I wrote this back in 2007 as an assignment, so be nice. :) I apologise if I have spelt any of the characters names wrong since for my Other Realms assignment, it was the first and last time I read The Hobbit. To be honest I didn't even read the entire book.
Anyway, you Hobbit fans or people you understand it, will probably see that this monologue is written when the Dwarves are captured by spiders, cause that's all I can make of it. I forgot to add what chapter it was from when I first wrote it.
KEY: [Actions to be done]
expressed words
Other Realms Monologue Speech: The Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins
Oh, this is terrible and I don't know what to do! Should I leave the Dwarves and find my own way out of the horrible and dangerous forest that has trees that are giants, or should I save the awful, smelly Dwarves? Why do I always have to save them or do things for them? They are mean tome, like how they came to my house unexpected and ordered me around to get my food and my drinks, in my own house! Dori was the only one who tried to save me and stayed with me, until I was safe away from those Wargs, and he nearly got killed by the Wargs saving me. So, I guess he isn't as bad as the others, especially Thorin! I think, if we ever get to the treasure, he might keep it all for himself!
[sigh]
The Dwarves might be mean to me, but I can't just leave them here to be killed by those huge spiders when I can save them! Oh, I wish I stayed in my safe and cosy hobbit-hole, instead of letting Gandalf make me leave it. Speaking of Gandalf, why did he have to leave us, especially here in the forest? What was so important he had to leave us for anyway? If he were here we wouldn't have gone off the path and we might have been out of here by now! What would he say if he saw us now or what would Beorn say? I don't want to think about it or that we might not see them again.
[shake head]
My thoughts keep drifting back to my family. I was once the most respected hobbit, in Hobbiton, like my father and the rest of the Baggins', to, if we survive and go back, a hobbit no one respects! I wonder if my father would respect me? I think he would because he married a Took! Now that I think about it, I think I', starting to take after my mother and the other Took's!
[shakes head]
What am I doing thinking about these things? I should be thinking of a way to save the dwarves! And if we survive I will show those Dwarves that I'm not pathetic like a newborn baby, as they think! I will show them the Bilbo Baggins is someone you shouldn't mess with! Now, how should I save the Dwarves without the spiders seeing me?
[Pause to think]
[Wack head]
How could I be so stupid? I will use the ring that use to belong to that creepy creature who kept saying "my preciousss" all the time to himself!
[Shutter]
It gives me the creeps just thinking about it, but...
[Look at ring]
...I can understand why he was upset about losing it, because it is very magnificent.
[Look at ring for a while]
[Shake head]
Anyway, back to the present. I could just make up a plan as I go but that's to risky.
[Pause to think]
I know, I'll lead them away from the Dwarves and when the spiders are away from them, I'll cut them free. Now, how will I lead them away?
[Think]
I know! I'll make up a song to insult the spiders. The song could go...
[Say it slowly]
"Old fat spider, spinning in a tree!
Old fat spider can't see me!
Attercop! Attercop!
Won't you stop,
Stop your spinning and look for me?
Old Tomnoddy, all big body,
Old Tomnoddy can't see me!
Attercop! Attercop!
Down you drop!
You'll never catch me up your tree!"
Yes that will be perfect! Now, if I need another one, it could go:
"Lazy lob and Crazy cob
Are weaving webs to wind me.
I am far more sweet than other meat,
But still they cannot find me!
Here I am, naughty little fly:
You are fat and lazy.
You cannot trap me, though you try,
In your cobwebs crazy!"
The song might not be good but it is hard for me to do, especially in a short period of time. Now, if the spiders catch me somehow, I will...
[Think for a second]
...kill them with Sting!
[Look fondly at dagger]
[Look up all of a sudden]
I better get a move on to save them, because one of the spiders just bit Bombur on the foot!
Written: Year Nine, Semester One, 2007
Assessment Piece: Monologue [first one I had ever done] for the book, The Hobbit.
Result: A-