Sipulichu: "So, here it is."

Da: "What?"

Sipuli: "The story, the first chapter. Duh!"

Da: "Oh, that."

Sipuli: "And now I was whiz-kid enough to put a small prologue into it. Well, a prologue and a prologue… Just a little word from the writer."

Da: "Us."

maestro Kynsilaukka: "I would like to read some reviews, thank you. No matter did you like or not."

Lucius Hip: "HEHEHEE!"

maestro: "What is with the chipmunk again?"

Da: "He's just hysterical, like always."

Sipuli: "Lucius being hysterical? No way, honestly, never."

Da: "Isn't he the muse of hysteria? So, it wouldn't make sense if he…"

Sipuli: "Remember that I'm the muse of sarcasm, platinum!"

Da: "Oh, of course, oopsie-doopsie!"

maestro: "Now, should we tell them that we haven't written this in our national language?"

Da: "I guess so."

Sipuli: "Should we tell them that we all four are one person, Squirrel-under-a-bus?"

maestro: "I suppose they realise it anyway."

Lucius: "Yeah, whatever, has anyone got any almonds..?"

1. Undressing & Recommending

The rain kept pouring down, as it had done for a week without stopping, except that short break in the afternoon two days ago. Streets weren't as crowded as usually; all the pedestrians were either drunken or then helplessly in love, finding the cold and grey monster monsoon rather romantic (and afterwards a good excuse to take the clothes off). But there was one who didn't fit: wrapped in an indigo cloak reaching from nose to ankles, only showing sapphire eyes under a heavy – and soaking wet – hood, this man cursed every single waterproof material in the word, and promised to never use "Pobsy's Clothing" again. Wondering why the fortune had decided to situate the body of water above the city just as he was coming to town, he was swearing without a break inside his garb. His foot splashed into a deep puddle, but as it wasn't the first time, his waterproof – and soaking wet – shoes didn't complain. His toes were wrinkled and itching of the moisture within the shoes, and the cloak felt heavier on his shoulders than the whole world had, but – notwithstanding he was a man of principle – he wasn't gonna drop the useless garment. It could end up useful someday. It was a good camouflage in the end, or it would be if someone had remembered to make sleeves into it. He tasted blood on his lips and promised himself to be more careful while shaving next time, and he certainly wasn't feeling any better because of two screaming voices in his head; the older one telling him he made a terrible mistake and should turn back, go home, fuck and make up. The younger one was shouting at the older one, telling what kind of a fool he was and that the one who carries us made a good choice, for once. 'The one who carried' didn't know was his decision good or bad. He already missed her, but in the end it was better this way. Was it?

"AAARGH!" he tumbled and hit his elbows to the paving.

"See?" a dark voice said in his head in an insulting tone, "now pick up your bones, order a flight, and get the hell out of this dead town."

"It's not a dead town, it's mine… no, OUR home!"

"I live in your head, any place is fine", the dark voice continued, "yet I enjoyed the sunshine, I enjoyed the warmth, I enjoyed the soft summer breeze blowing from the dunes carrying silk smooth sand under it's silent wings. And she got good breast you know!"

"Dark!" the one in a puddle roared, "shut up!"

"I'd recommend you to hold to mind speech - in the end people tend to think that people talking to themselves are softheaded in a way or another", the younger voice said, "apropos of nothing, I'd recommend you to pick up your bones, too, before you get a gangrene into your toes. You might deal with eco, but you certainly do not deal well with heat, cold, sun and humidity."

"Shit…" the one with puckered toes uttered and rose up, not being helped by the cloak. Not so sure if this was a good idea…

"Believe me, it wasn't", the dark voice pointed out.

After pouring the h2o out of his boots, the stranger entered the saloon. Nobody paid attention, as everybody was either busy ordering more drinking or hollering and cheering for three girls dancing on three podia. Yep, dancing. Nothing so naughty. Except the undressing-part and so on, but in the end it was dancing. On caged podia. Spinning round a pole. Wearing very little. Oh well… The one wet from the rain instead of sweat fought his way to the counter – which wasn't very hard as everyone twitched away from the cold, drenched and strange creature.

"Hi, Tess", he said taking off his hood.

A blonde and busty ottsel turned over and blinked her eyes. "Jak? What are you doing here?"

"Getting cozy", Jak said, "nice to see you."

"Nice to see you, too – want a beer after these?", Tess laughed and served three mugs of beer without giving them an eye, "what's happened to your hair?"

"Oh, it's just…" Jak scratched his occiput, "I just didn't dye it. And for the beer, no thanks."

Tess cracked in a laughter and shook her hair while making a vodka-cola. "Well, I'm real, and you must be sick. I'm ready to give you a mug for free, and you don't wan tit."

"I just don't feel like having a drink right now, believe me, this won't become a pattern", Jak laughed, "okay, where's Daxter, by the way?"

"There", Tess nodded to the podia.

The three girls had stopped the dancing and stood on the platforms. Daxter climbed on theone in the middleand began talking to a microphone. "Boy is it hot, I'm sweating – and I have a fur, so girls… Great job! Let's give them an enormous hollo!" The crowd shouted and the light one in Jak's head recommended him to protect his hearing while the dark one recommended him to go and squeeze some boobsie.

"Okay, you know what to do!" Daxter continued, "when I call out a girl, you call out as loud as you can! Is the queen tonight… Lisa!"

A blonde girl blew a kiss to the crowd and Light recommended earplugs.

"They like you and I must admit I do, too", Daxter laughed and Tess rolled her eyes, "but I also like this sweetie here. Shout for Mazzé now!"

People got loud over a coquetting girl with a black hair and bigger breasts than what was legal. Jak didn't really want to listen to what Dark was recommending to him this time.

"I think that was a teeny weeny bit louder than what Lisa got. Sorry, Lisa, that was a wonderful routine, but, not this time!"

The blonde girl curtsied and smiled, but her eyes screamed of how frustrated she was.

"And now, how loud can you get on Luda?"

The crowd got crazy and Jak covered his ears to Light's delight. A girl with a massive, bright orange afro shouted at the crowd urging it to scream even more.

"Okay then!" Daxter shouted over the chaos, "I think this is clear. Luda, we'll see you again next week, in the final! Now, c'mon, let's give a big woah for all the girls!"

"So this is a…" Jak turned back to Tess as crowd continued roaring.

"Only once a week", Tess explained, "tomorrow here's a fighting club, the day after that here's speed dating, then a romantic evening and then karaoke singing. On weekend's this is a normal bar, but we have a band as often as we can."

"JAK! Buddy!" a voice of an ottsel shrieked, and soon the owner of the voice (which Jak had heard maybe more often than he deserved but which he was so happy to hear after almost a full year) jumped on the counter, "Jak? Whatcha doin' here?"

"He's getting cozy", Tess explained before Jak had started.

"Ya like… Ya like getting back to Haven?"

"Me like yes", Jak laughed, "good to see you Dax."

"I love seeing myself, too", Daxter explained, "like, my fur is so smooth and healthy, and my body is so fit and perfect, and so on…"

The three laughed – yet Tess still didn't spill any beer from any of the four mugs she was holding.

"Rainy out there?" Daxter asked picking Jak's cloak, "what is this thing tryin' to be?"

"A waterproof piece of clothe", Jak replied and Tess giggled again.

"You can take it off in the upstairs", she explained, "this door here, past the deepfreezes and…"

"I know Tess, thanks", Jak smiled, "or has Daxter revamped this place again?"

"Actually yes, we got a new corridor which leads out from the upstairs, so you don't have to get in from here. Also, there's a new bathroom."

"Bathroom?" Jak asked, "where does it need that?"

"Well, an apartment needs a toilet, and a shower is preferred", Daxter explained, "we put in on rent, you see. Now I'll gotta go to sign with Luda, see ya, partner, welcome back!" the orange furball touched his hand and then disappeared into the crowd. Jak ducked under the counter and went from the door, suddenly stopping.

"Well… Tess?"

"What?" the ottsel didn't turn to look at him, instead mixed together different liquids, "the code of the armour door is the same, still. I really should change it as it's more of a public secret than a secret secret."

"Ehm… Okay, but… If it's on rent, does somebody live there?"

"Torn."

"Torn?" Jak twitched in surprise and let the door shut. He stared at it, before slowly turning and walking past the freezers.

"A beautiful boy came to LioDapah, riding on a turquoise yakow, there was a girl he always thought, would let him get some…"

Jak knew the song. It was a traditional song and it got very rude actually, telling what the pretty boy's turquoise yakow made for the girl. Jak chuckled and shook his head slightly, before stepping in front of an open door: "Knock knock", he said.

Torn uttered a surprised squeak and dropped his pencil, "Jak!" he roared and bounced up.

"Torn", Jak had secretly wished that his old boss would be at least a little delighted of seeing him again, just for the sake of old times, but Torn's icy blue eyes were just empty, his face reflecting inner anger.

"What are you doing here?" Torn asked trying to get a light tone into his voice and forcing his cheek muscles into a fake smile, "come in."

"Trying to find a coat rack", the tension from Torn's direction affected him, and he found himself as the normal moody and angst-ful himself.

"And why's that."

"Because I want this wet cloak off from me."

"And you want to hang it up in a closet, which is by the way around the corner. Or actually behind that wall behind you, but the door is… round the corner", Torn was now standing next to his table.

"Thanks", Jak felt unsure. Should he go and find the door, but Torn's sentence had started out like a question and also departing would either look anxious and stupid or then include turning back to Torn, and Jak felt almost sure that that would include some using of a knife. So, he switched his weight on his legs, slightly tiptoeing and looking nervous.

"You drip water on my carpet."

"Oh, sorry, but like…"

"You should really hang it up in the bathroom. You know, there's an outlet."

"Oh well, okay…" Jak rouse his other leg when Torn interrupted.

"And you think that I would let you do that?" instead Torn started walking and ended up between Jak and the door, which made the younger faery even more nervous.

"Well, I- Well… You just said…"

"You think I'd let you walk back into my life again", Torn sounded both bitter and amused, which was a strange combination, "no, the answer is no!"

"But I-i…" Suddenly Torn pulled a small gun from his belt and pointed straight into Jak. Jak had never learned to use or like them, they weren't effective enough, but he knew that a bullet from it would surely kill him if hit in right places, "Torn?"

"No", Torn hissed from between his teeth, "you think our lives would meet again in any circumstances? There's one too many in this room, and it's not me", he said, making Jak back against the table, almost falling on it backwards.

"T-t-t-torn…"

"No!" Torn hollered in a frustrated tone, "I had been drawing that almost for an hour, and now you go and drip water on it."

Jak looked behind him and saw a very talented picture of a Metal Head. Unfortunately, it was made by black lead, which started to blur by the water drops. "I-i'm very sorry, if I just could do something…"

"RUN!" Light screamed, "duck, kick, hit and run, go go go go!"

"Release me, release me!" Dark roared, "I will tear that bustard in pieces!"

"Run!"

"Release!"

"Run!"

Jak didn't want to admit it, but he was panicking, his eyes searching for an exit. A bathroom door? No, he'd shot me there. Then he started looking at the barrel, before his eyes wandered into Torn's ones.

Torn enjoyed the situation. For the first time, he had completely surprised the younger faery – and even better than that, Jak was panicking! He looked so stupid all wet in front of his table, looking like a guinea pig unready to get a vaccine. Then when Jak looked into his eyes, Torn couldn't held back anymore; he burst into a laughter.

Jak dropped his jaw and probably sprained his eyelids, as Torn was laughing the hell out of himself. That wasn't an evil laughter, that wasn't a psychopathically satisfied laughter. Torn threw the gun to the corridor, and actually dried a tear from his eye.

"Eee. Orhn?" Jak mumbled forgetting to return his jaw back in its place.

Torn cracked again, leaning against the frame. "You shoulda seen yourself, and should see now."

Jak regained the control over his facial muscles: "Torn? What… What's going on?"

"What's happened to your hair?"

"There wasn't –" Jak scratched the back of his head, but stopped as he realised he did it always somebody asked him about his hair colour, "hey, what was that thing?"

"A welcome joke", Torn smiled, "perhaps not the most enjoyable for you, but I enjoyed it a lot."

"A joke?"

"Emotional ventilation", Torn explained, "I guess I used at least half of my – no Mar-damn, at least 90 percent – of my negative energy towards you, so now I can welcome you truly."

Jak was just blinking.

"So, what's with your hair?"

"There wasn't anyone capable of dyeing it in Spargus."

"It's nice though. At least it doesn't make me think that you're a dumb platinum."

"I guess that was a compliment."

"You should be flattered", Torn suddenly stopped leaning and opened his arms, "now, c'mon, give an ol' boss a reunion hug."

"Hug you? …But I'm wet."

"No excuses!" Torn snapped and they hugged, Jak finding it very odd, yet nice. In the end, Torn never was that a friend of his, although he would have liked him to be. "Good to have you back, here, YET…" Torn disengaged himself, "yet not everyone will be as merciful as I am."

"Whatcha mean?"

"Well, I'm not furious about you-and-Ashelin –thing –"

"We broke up", Jak spat it out, surprised by himself.

"You did WHAT!" Dark roared, "NO NO NO, you just went to visit in Haven, then you'll go back and you two…"

"Shut up!" Jak roared back, startling Torn, "no, sorry, it wasn't for you", Jak tapped his head, "it was for someone who doesn't quite agree."

"Light, Dark or both?"

"Dark."

"Guessed that, so… You broke up. Why?"

"We… We talked about things and we realised we didn't give our whole hearts into this and we decided… We should break up when we still are friends."

"And she's in Spargus?"

"I needed a break of it, yet she wanted to stay there. Maybe it's because she isn't pleased by the outcome of the plebiscite."

"She didn´t want Alorah to win."

"How does she get along? Or is she already dethroned?"

"Jak!"

"Well, I wouldn't be that surprised if that happened in Haven."

"Okay, I admit, me neither – hey, let's take off that wet shit, do you have your luggage here?"

"I brought nothing with me, except a peace maker", Jak said and struggled to be freed from the cloak, "ehm… This does disturb my pride a lot actually, but could you help?"

"Aww", Torn said with a straight face, "lil' Jaky doesn't know how to undress himself."

"Shut up, and this one's for you."

"Right, I'll help you", Torn laughed, "anyway, Alorah's doing fine. She has created a thing called File, and every shop, store, saloon and etc must be in File, or otherwise it's considered illegal."

"And what does File do?" Jak asked as he got his head out of the cloak, "a horrible clothe! I'll burn it – or give to Samos as a birthday gift." He didn't notice Torn's face darkening.

"File does nothing, but it keeps record of everything. The popularity of Alorah is about 70 percent or something. Also, lots of things need to be petitioned – like Daxter's striptease nights, and Tess's speed-dating. All new buildings must be given a permission, too, and believe this or not, but Alorah has created a Construction Committee, which has set rules for each house, about like the sewage or groundwork et cetera."

"She's created a committee!"

"Lots of those", Torn replied while hanging up Jak's cloak in the bathroom, "people like committees, and not without a reason – never have as many citizens worked as a part of the 'government'"

"Why did you pronounce government like that?"

"Because Alorah's government is pure democracy. Once in three years, people vote for other people who want to become a part of government. There are a hundred of them, plus Alorah who is the head and holds the quorum. At least fifty percent of every committee must be from the government, and usually the rest is just normal everyday pedestrians. You saw Luda, right?"

"The stripper?"

"She's in Sexual Committee, which shook the city five months ago by legalizing homosexuality, and illegalizing sex between a grown-up and a child. The age limit is 14 years."

"She's in government?"

"Not, but in the Committee. But I bet if she keeps on the good work and the naughty work she does, she'll end up in government in next election."

"Just… How long has here been this new... government?"

"A month after you and Ashelin left. It was the first big thing that Alorah did."

"She must be crazy… You support him?"

"Of course", Torn smiled, "for once in my life time I have a shower which actually serves hot water, thanks for the Waterway Committee. What about you? You never really said which side you were on, Alorah or Hussel?"

"Well… I always supported Alorah, but you know, when Ashelin was so fiercely against her…"

"Yep, I understand", Torn said, "hmm… Taking off this cloak didn't help that much as you're wet as a water yakow. I'll bring some of my clothes so you can change them within closed doors. I guess you don't want my drawers, right?"

"Uhmm… Actually… Never thought about that", Jak smirked, "I guess… Hmm… Okay, I guess I'd want. My ones are completely wet and I think I shouldn't go commando in your pants."

"Okay, a good point", Torn laughed, "you've grown, you're almost as tall as I am."

"Wow!" Jak hollered, "I didn't even notice. Ha ha, you're so small, I'm so tall…"

"Almost as tall as I am", Torn repeated, "okay, clothes."

"Clothes."

Sipuli: "That's it!"

Lucius: "To be continued."

maestro: "Ommm ommm…"

Sipuli: "He just finds meditating necessary at a moment like this?"

Da: "I guess yes."

Lucius: "Well, at least he doesn't mutter simsalabims and wave his stupid magic wand. He's much better as a coma patient." wham "Ouch!"

Sipuli: "What did you say about the magic wand?"

Lucius: "Hey, it can't float in air –" wham

maestro: "First of all, ommm, it is a staff, not a wand, ommm…"

Lucius: "Take it off from me! No, no, no! Ouch! Aah! Eek! Take it off!..."

Da: "Is it that fair to hit small animals?"

maestro: "You rather like me hit you?"

Da: "Erm… Go staff, catch him, woopeeh!"

Sipuli: "Wise talk, platinum."

Da: "Thanks, vege. After all, running Lucius is kind of cute."

Lucius: "Get it off! Aaah! Call it back! Maestro, please! No no no! Eeek!…"