Author's Notes: The story of Blake began with a post to a LiveJournal community: create the biggest Mary Sue possible. While originally I hadn't planned to go further than the profile, a few people mentioned to me they wanted to read more. As a result, this story is beginning. To begin, I'm posting the original profile, as to preserve the original joke the community had going:

Name: Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son Valentine
Nicknames: Blake, Bee, Blakie, and any of the aforementioned with the honorific "-chan", even though I have noooooooooo idea what it means…
Age: looks 14 (though she was born in the 17th century)
Sex: Female
Species: Half human, half Tamaraninanian, half Zodiac creature, half Saiyan, three-fifths witch, and 1 Vampire Lemur
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 58Kg
Hair colour: Orange with black tips
Eye colour: Blue orbs (though it changes, depending on her moods)
Identifying features: Cat ears and a tail, and a lightning-shaped scar on her ass. Transforms into a cat when hugged by members of the opp. sex. ie-guys.
Slade's Apprentice: Yes, but when she discovers that she's his illegitimate mother, the two patch things up and Slade turns good. Yaay!

Clothing: Regular form - black tank-top, grey pants, and a denim midriff jacket. She wears her hair in two pigtails, and likes to have jewels in her pigtails. She also likes stiletto heels.
Superhero form - short skirt, with fishnet stockings. Her guns in her belt, her wand in a hip-pocket, and her uuber-ramen stuffed into her cowboy hat.

Abilities: Flight, martial arts, magic, guns, transforming into a cat.
Weaknesses: Being too powerful and pretty for her age! rotflwtfomgbbq!11111
Superhero identity: Sailor StarMaker (I OWN THIS NAME!1111111!)

Items: Magic wand, Guns, superior martial arts, uuber-ramen
Magic wand - assists in performing of spells
Guns - shoot stuff
Martial Arts - 1 K33L j00 50 D34D
Uuber-ramen - I only made it because it was a japn thing. I don't kno what 2 do with it now! Must be a weapon, or summatt…

Likes: Blitzball, anime, manga, dabbling in the Dark Arts (but only to use it for good), reading, bounty-hunting with the BeBop crew (but she takes over the ship lolololololololol), training, her cat ears
Dislikes: Akito (She kicked her ass, though, and returns for regular beatdowns), when Jet drives, Ed (Boy? Girl? She's too weird omgwtf's with that?), Beast Boy, when Robin doesn't want sex

Family: Orphan.
History: Blake was born in the 17th century. She was five years old when the Vampire Lemur's struck her village. Her mother and father tried to save their baby.
First, her father died, and then her mother. The Vampire Lemurs wanted Blake to make a Sue-powered ray gun. Her mother gave her life to protect Blake, but when the Lord Lemur tried to attack Blake, the power of her mother's love protected her. The attack bounced off her and Lord Lemur was defeated, though Blake was left with scars of her own - 1 Vampire Lemur-ism and a scar on her ass! On Blake's birthday Lord Lemur returned in cameo-form, trying to kill her again, but she defeated him every time!1 On her 8th birthday she killed Lord Lemur, and became the Lemur Queen.
Being a Lemur Queen wasn't a very high-paying job, so Blake took work as a chamber maid until she was 9. Then, she awoke one morning to see Hagrid! Hagrid told her "You're a Wizard, Blake-san!" Blake was like "OMGWTF?" and she was taken to Hogwarts. She liked the train ride a lot.
She was sorted into Hufflepuff, but since nobody speshul like her was there, she got transferred into Gryffindor! There, she made millions of friends, and was allowed to keep snakes when she found out that she could speak Parseltongue.
On her 11th birthday she was made Prefect, Quidditch captain, and the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. She was so happy until she had an accident with a Time-Turner, and accidentally ate the Philosopher's Stone.
She was immortalized and sent to another dimension, where she met the Sohma family. It was then that she discovered that she was part Zodiac creature! She married the Cat, called herself Blake Sohma, and had lots of kittens. She grew cat ears and a tail. It was then that she broke the Family curse. It was great for her to see the look on Shigure's face when THAT happened! Everybody except Kyo and Yuki died, and she moved to a country where she could have 2 husbands. Because this alternate dimension was still in the 17th century, and travel was done by months-long boat trips, Kyo and Yuki died from scurvy, and Blake's kittens (having no father now) faded into obscurity. What a shame….

When they arrived in New York, Blake won American Idol 6 times in a row! Everyone bought her CD's, but there were no CD players to listen to them on! Everyone was sad. Everyone except Blake Sohma because she bought a penthouse in the O.C. and married Marissa. She decided to call herself Blake Sohma Sagittarius. Why? Because it's so original.
One day there was a tidal wave, and Blake was swept out to sea. She washed up on a strange beach filled with dinosaurs, and flying people. There were cool fights and stuff, and Blake discovered that her mother had been a Saiyan! Wow!
Goku taught her everything he knew, and Blake learned Bukujutsu, Genki-dama, Kamehame-ha, and lots more stuff. She married Goten, called herself Blake Sohma Sagittarius Son, but had a hot affair with Trunks. That made Pan cry, but Blake didn't care, because Pan's a bitch. For Blake's 10th birthday, everyone let her win the World's Martial Arts Tournament, and Mr. Satan adopted her. She didn't adopt his name, though.

Blake accidentally used Instant Transmission too many times, and wound up back in Hogwarts. She saw Harry Potter. They got married, Ron was so depressed because he wanted to marry Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son (she decided that having three 'S' names in a row was a bit silly - two is okay, but three is ridiculous). He married Hermione, but she cheated on him with Harry. Then with Draco. Then with everybody else in the school. Everybody was heartbroken, until Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son used her Dark Magic to kill Hermione just like on Happy Tree Friends. Everyone was showered with happiness and blood.

Some time after, Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son was propelled to the year 2060. She lived on Mars and was a successful bounty hunter. Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son was the best person for any job, but her unusual methods of commanding her fleets of Cat People (who were her kittens' descendants) earned her a place on the BeBop. She renamed it the Black Pearl for a while, but copyright infringements prevented her from selling the franchise. She grew a beard, and put beads in her hair. She also had a speshul hat that she had been given by her hero for her 11th birthday. It was made of straw. People called her Captain Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son, but she didn't think that was omgkewel enough, so she married Faye. The marriage was short-lived after it was discovered that Captain Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son Valentine was embezzling money in a Swedish bank account. Earth and Mars were at war and Blake discovered that she was Princess of the Moon. Faye was the re-incarnated Prince of Earth, but they couldn't reconcile their differences, and went their separate ways.

Blake spent the next several months dabbling in police work. She was so good that Detective Munch bought her flowers and heart-shaped candies. Even though she was only 12 years old now, she was somehow able to appear on L&O and every spinoff it has each week, and solve the crime in three minutes. Unfortunately, she was later fired, because she was much better than Detective Goren at solving crimes, and the three-minute episodes of SVU were really unpopular. For some reason, the ratings of Trial by Jury skyrocketed!

Former Captain Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son Valentine spent her 13th birthday alone, leaving her with deep, unhealable psychological scars.

Things looked bleak for Blake, when she suddenly found herself in Zanarkand. There she married Tidus, killed Wakka with her Vampire Lemur powers, and imprisoned Yuna in a bottle. On occasions, Yuna was let out of her bottle, but only on the condition that she would grant wishes and call The Former Captain Blake Sohma Sagittarius Potter Son Valentine "Master". Yuna crossed her arms and bowed her head quickly, making speshul magic. Blake was teleported to the world of the Mole People, and now she's the highest-ranking Jedi ever, with all of her amazing abilities!

((To be continued in story-form))