"A Small Sort of Peace"

By: Kacie
(xenobart on the R/Hr yahoo group)


Notes: well, well, it's a R/Hr piece written by a H/Hr shipper. I have to confess that for that reason, this isn't my most inspired work (also, I'm not all that good at angst- humor and parody is my specialty). However, I've grown to love the R/Hr yahoo group despite their, errr, heh heh, "annoying" ship preference, and I enjoyed participating in this holiday fic exchange. Sometimes, I think it's good to expand your horizons and write a 'ship you wouldn't normally write.

Zi's criteria for this fic:
Premise: I'm pretty flexible on the fic, as long as it's pretty. =) I'd
like it to be at Hogwarts, sixth or seventh year... and romance would be nice. A little angst wouldn't hurt, as long as it has a happy ending. ;)
About herself: Hmm, if I were going to show up in the fic, I'd probably have to be a teacher. ^^; How scary is that? New DADA professor, maybe? I guess it'd be fun to kind of make a cameo appearance, although the story wouldn't have to be about me or anything. Traits... um... petite, thick dark hair, green eyes, freckles all over,
pretty quiet, calm and easygoing (read: pushover)... I don't know what
else. Name her whatever you want; I'm curious to see. =)

*****

"Hermione? What's wrong?"

Hermione sighed and looked up to see Harry. "Bad timing," she said a bit grumpily.

Harry walked over to her and sat down. "Now come on, if you were that upset, you'd be in your room crying, not in the common room." He smiled warmly. "I'm your friend, Hermione. Just tell me and I'll help you work out whatever's bothering you." He paused. "Say, where's Ron?"

She froze. A moment passed, and Hermione glared at him. "Wrong question."

"Oh man," Harry said with realization. "Not again."

"If you really must know, Mr. Insensitive Jerk is up in his room."

"What happened?" asked Harry.

Hermione groaned. "Another day. Another fight. Don't even ask what it was about. It was stupid. He ran up to his room at the end, furious."

"Hey, stop speaking in monotone!" Harry said, teasing. More seriously, he said "I'm really sorry, Hermione. I hate your fights just as much as you guys do. I mean, my two best friends- bickering! Every day, practically!"

"Oh, I know," Hermione moaned. "Interpersonal relationships aren't exactly my strength, either." An awkward moment passed. "I mean, we're stuck in the middle of this war against Voldemort! That's awful enough. And then, on top of it, I can't even get along with my friends..."

"But you always get along with me, Hermione," Harry said, laughing. "Okay, I know that wasn't the point. It's our last year at Hogwarts. And who knows if we'll live through this war?"

"Exactly!" Hermione exclaimed. "If I'm going to make amends with Ron, I have to do it now." She moaned. "Unfortunately, I don't know how. I- I don't even know what I feel about him...."

Harry let her trail off, a knowing smile trying to surface from his serious demeanor. "You know Hermione, I might have an idea. Is it okay if- ?"

"Please do."

"Right, okay." Harry cleared his throat. "See, there's a psychologist at Hogwarts. She's not very well known, but I've seen her a few times to deal with, well, being Harry Potter, I guess," he said sheepishly.

Hermione looked at him strangely. "You're saying I should see a psychologist to sort out my fights with Ron? Ugh. I don't even believe in that psychotherapy crap."

Harry laughed. "Just give it try, Hermione."

Hermione thought for a minute. "Well,.......I guess I am desperate," she said, allowing herself to chuckle. "When can I talk to this woman?"

"She's free pretty much all the time, since so few people see her," Harry replied. "Why don't you let me owl her? Is tomorrow at 11 good?"

"That sounds fine," said Hermione.

"I guess I'd better do that before it gets too late." Harry squeezed Hermione's hand before standing up. "I really think this'll work itself out. I won't let it not work. The last thing I want is my too friends ripping each others eyes out!"

Hermione laughed a bit. "I hope so."

*****

Geez, this office is out of the way, Hermione thought as she wound through the gazillionth twisty hallway. "Ugh, finally. The door." She opened it a bit apprehensively.

"Hermione Granger?"

Hermione eyed the woman who said her name, her mouth opening in surprise. She was young, very young. She had a cute, freckle-filled face, pretty dark hair, and seemed to be half the size of Hermione.

"Uh- h-hi," Hermione stuttered, shaking her hand.

"Not what you were expecting?" asked the woman.

"Well, no," Hermione admitted. "I thought you'd be kind of old and grumpy and-"

The woman laughed. "No, I'm only 27, actually. I used to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at a Spanish wizard academy, but it didn't really suit me. The kids were always taking advantage of me, and so were the students, and- oh, I won't air all the dirty laundry. Let's just say I love my job as a psychologist."

Hermione laughed in response. This woman seemed like fun. She liked her immediately.

"Anyway, my name's Martina. No need to call me professor. Just Martina."

"All right then, Martina."

"So Harry tells me you're here to discuss your relationship with a young man named Ron." Martina paused. "Redhead, Harry's sidekick, right?"

"Right."

"I've seen him around," Martina mused. "Quite a temperamental fellow, isn't he?"

Hermione snickered. "A bit of an understatement, I'd say."

"Yes, I must say I think your friend Harry is a dear fellow but oh dear if that Ron ever came in for counseling I would feel so lost as to what to do with him and- oh, I'd better stop!"

"He's my friend," Hermione said. "Um, I think he is, at least."

"How long have you been friends with Ron?" asked Martina.

"Since first year," Hermione said, fondly remembering the troll incident. "I really never became friends with Ron. I became friends with Harry, who happened to be Ron's friends, I guess."

"Interesting," Martina said, nodding.

"We've always fought quite a bit, but it seems to have gotten worse every year," Hermione said, sighing unhappily. "I'm not sure why, but we always fight over the stupidest things! I don't know what to do about it!"

"Oh no!" said Martina. "That does sound bad!"

A long silence ensued.

"Well....let me ask this. How do you feel about Ron?" Asked Martina.

Hermione blushed. "I-I don't know, Martina," she admitted. "I know exactly how I feel about Harry. He's my best friend, and I'd take an Aveda Kedavra for him any day. But with Ron- ugh, it's so complicated!"

Martina smiled sympathetically. "Yes, I understand." She paused, considering. "Hermione, forgive me for asking this, but have you ever dated Ron?"

"Dated?" Hermione choked out, in gasps of laughter. "Why would I want to date him?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Martina, a twinkle in her eye.

"Ron's had a Girlfriend Of The Week for the last few years. He's a player! I had a brief relationship with Viktor in my fourth year. Since then, I guess I've been too busy fighting Voldemort and studying to fall in love."

"But Harry's found time to date a nice Ravenclaw girl while fighting Voldemort and doing schoolwork," Martina noted. "Padma Patil. Oh that girl is such a sweetheart and Harry made such a good choice- oops. Off on a tangent again. The point is, are you sure that's not just an excuse?"

"I see you're a psychologist for a reason," Hermione groaned. "Well, I guess the truth is, I just don't feel any love for men. I'm supposed to feel love! Passion! A spark! But- I've never felt it!" "I think I'm frigid," she added a moment later.

Martina patted Hermione on the shoulder. "I don't think you're frigid, dear. Tell me, aren't you passionate when you fight with Ron?"

"I guess," Hermione said. "I mean, yes I do. But what's that got to do with it?"

Martina grinned, her eyes sparkling. "Have you ever heard the phrase, 'they fight like an old married couple,' dear?"

"Yeah....oh my god. You're not implying that-"

"I am."

"No way!" Hermione said, a bit shaken. "Never. Never! I'd rather date Draco Malfoy!"

"Oh yes, I do remember my counseling session with Draco Malfoy," Martina babbled. "A mean, yet deeply troubled man. Something about being in love with a supposed worst enemy. I mean, when it comes to romance, you really never know-"

"Ugh, shut up!" said Hermione. "I don't like this. I, well I guess Ron might have a little crush on me, but I don't like him! You hear that? Not like that! Hell! I don't know what I think of him!"

"Sweetie, I'm sorry about the Draco bit. But Hermione...I just want you to think about it. I want you to go home and think about your relationship with Ron. You have a tendency to jump to fixed conclusions, don't you? I want you to forget all that. Just think about it."

Hermione stayed silent.

"Promise me."

"Okay, I promise," Hermione said, her voice now completely devoid of emotion.

Martina gave Hermione a hug, with Hermione awkwardly returned. "Um, thanks. I think," said Hermione. "I might try it. All I want is peace. Peace with Ron. Peace with the world. No more Voldemort."

"Owl me if you ever need me!" Martina called, as a frustrated Hermione walked out of the room.

*****

She couldn't help it. Hermione hadn't wanted to listen to that psychologist. She had started out a nice woman- well, she was a nice woman. But her advice was so off! Or was it? Hermione clenched her fists, uncertain what to think.

She must have thought about it for a month. It didn't matter if she was planning ways to defeat Voldemort, doing homework, or having fun. It was always at the surface of her mind. Whenever Harry wondered what was up, Hermione just came him a peculiar smile.

And then one day, it hit her. Hard. All that thinking, and she'd finally come to a conclusion. A conclusion that she wasn't sure would work. A response she hoped would bring peace.

She ran to Ron's dorm, where she knew he would be, for once getting homework done. It was against the rules, but who cared?

"Ron!" Hermione gasped, exhausted from the sprint as she barged into the door.

"Um, Hermione?" Ron said, genuinely shocked. "Don't just sneak up on me like that!" He said angrily.

"No, Ron, we are not going to fight today. And that's final."

"Then what are we going to do?" Asked Ron.

"We're going to talk."

"Uh, okay."

"You see Ron," Hermione began, more confidently than she felt, "I've been doing some thinking. About us."

"We fight. We hit. We're sort of friends. End of story."

"No, no! Don't be so pessimistic! Ron, I finally realized it. Why I've been so jealous of you. Why I've tolerated this fighting for so long."

"Why?"

A smile crossed her face. "You see Ron, I was jealous."

That got Ron's attention. He took his head out of his book and turned to look at her. "What?"

"That's right," Hermione continued, "jealous of your various girlfriends, and I didn't even know it! Fighting with you for reasons I never got. But now I do. It was all my way of channeling passion, the passion I never understood. I thought it was bickering. But maybe, maybe, it was-" she paused nervously. "It was love."

Now Ron was completely shocked. He stood up. "L-love? You love me?"

"Maybe love it too strong a word. It's too early to know. But Ron Weasley, I definitely have feelings for you, and I have for a long time," said Hermione confidently.

"Oh my god." Ron pinched himself on the arm. "I mean, Hermione, why do you think I've had a girlfriend of the week for the past two years? I've liked you like that Hermione, ever since I realized you were a girl. I- I just didn't think you did."

Hermione laughed. With that, she leaned in and gave him a small kiss. When it ended, Ron smiled at her.

"G-geez, Hermione..."

"I can't promise our fights will end, or that we'll live the perfect like with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence in the suburbs," said Hermione. "But this...this, Ron, is a start."

"A start," he replied, a stupid grin on his face. "You know, I'm all alone, and we could go further tonight."

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed, playfully slapping him on the face. "No, too early, too soon. We're still fighting Voldemort, after all. But there's something there."

"There is. I always felt it, Hermione."

"And so did I."

*****

The next day, Hemione penned a letter to Martina. It only had two words on it: Thank you. She knew Martina would understand.

For the first time, Hermione felt something she hadn't felt in years- peace. She had no idealizations of their new romantic relationship; Ron and her were still very young, after all. But as she'd told Ron, it was a beginning.

The war against Voldemort still raged. That part of her remained complicated and twisted, and she knew it would until they won. But Ron- she loved him, she really did. For now, there would be no complications on the home front.

She smiled. Peace. She really liked it this way. She would like it even more after their victory. But for now, although it was small, it was something.

*****

end.