-Chapter 1-

It had been a month since I banished the Darkness from Albion, sending the Crawler along with it. The path to the crown was not an easy one, nor did it spare me any heartache. I tried to remind myself each time I looked back with feelings of sadness or regret, that everything I'd been through had shaped me in some way for the better. Though, I wasn't fooling myself. I'd made so many sacrifices for the greater good, but now I was left feeling little more than…hollow. The people of Albion may not have been able to see through the facade of togetherness and confidence I projected, but I knew that deep down I was still broken inside despite the smile I wore like a mask.

I sat up straight and took a deep breath, trying to shrug off the unsavory feelings of dread. As I looked at myself in the mirror on my vanity, I saw the faintest smudge of kohl near the corner of my eye. I leaned forward and raised my hand swiftly to dab it away, realizing quickly that my thoughts had been getting the better of me, provoking a tear before I could catch it.

"Your Majesty, your necklace," Helena offered as she crossed the room toward me with the finishing touch to my attire. When she saw me blotting my eye, she looked at me with concern through the reflection in the mirror, silently questioning me.

"Thank you, Helena," I said, lifting my long chestnut locks in order for her to place the necklace around my neck. I looked back up and offered her a warm, reassuring smile. She'd been my most loyal and trusted lady-in-waiting since before I had taken the throne, however, and I supposed that by now she could very well have seen through my act.

I promptly dismissed her and rose to my feet, pacing back and forth in my chambers. Perhaps I was waiting for some twist of fate to intervene, to relieve me from my obligations. My hands wrung together nervously and I stopped as my fingers grazed over my jade ring. I'd worn it for so long it may as well have been a part of the finger it encircled. I gulped down the growing lump in my throat.

Get it together, Evelyn. It's just a wedding.

I had selected one of my most beautiful gowns and adorned myself with my finest jewels for a wedding that was not even mine, no matter how much I wished it was. I was merely a guest, so why was I putting this much effort into making myself look so desirable? It wasn't as if it would change his mind. The day I left the castle, we were separated. Then, as fate would have it, I rescued him during my quest to rally more allies for the rebellion. I suppose I had known that in my absence, there was always a chance he would find someone to bide his time with. I just never thought he'd move on so fast…so permanently.

I looked back down to my most cherished ring—the very same one he'd slid onto my finger as a teenager when we first kissed. I shook my head, almost laughing at myself, knowing how pathetic and sad it was to hold on to such a sentimental thing when it clearly no longer meant anything to him. Letting out a sigh, I slowly pulled the ring off, placing it on my vanity and rubbing the indentation it left behind on my finger.

My heart ached inside my chest in a way I never thought possible. The feeling spread through me as I drew in a deep breath. I had always thought that there was one true soul mate for everyone. I thought he was mine. The fact that he had chosen to marry another not only broke my heart, it shattered my dreams of a life with him. But I had to be there today. Linda had been so grateful for my rescue of her husband-to-be that she had insisted that I attend as a guest of honor; yet she still had no knowledge of my former relationship with him. This all felt like some cruel, sick joke, but I had to bury these feelings quickly. My carriage was pulling up outside.

"Your Majesty, are you decent?" Ben Finn asked as he gently tapped at the door. I was grateful that he had decided to stay and accept a promotion after the Battle for Albion. Without Walter or Major Swift, I was overwhelmed. When it came to strategic plans for the royal guard and matters of defense, he was the only one I could trust.

"Yes, of course, Ben." I said, bidding him to enter as I quickly took one last glance at myself in my full length mirror.

My hands moved down to smooth the exquisite satin of my dress. Ben walked in and his eyes surveyed me, flitting up and down. His mouth turned up into a crooked smirk. "Evie, you look amazing…that boy is either a bloody loon or he needs his eyes examined," he said with a chuckle, offering his arm to escort me away.

I smiled. The sentiment of his remarks and the way he'd call me 'Evie' in private instantly left me feeling more at ease. I was so thankful we'd become such good friends. After Page decided to let my rulings in court come between us, I became less inclined to get close to anyone. I feared that any time I put my trust in someone, I would only get betrayed or left behind.

I hooked my arm under his and nodded, "Thank you, Ben. Now, let's get this over with, shall we?"

As we pulled up to the Bowerstone Industrial canals, I began feeling short of breath. Anxiety was beginning to get the better of me. One hand rose to my chest and the other rested at my stomach, both of which were uncomfortably compressed beneath my corset. I felt as if I would burst under the pressure as a tingling ache spread over me. It was not at all like me to get rattled under any situation or circumstance. I felt ashamed at my lack of composure and a blush crossed my face.

Ben studied me intently as the guard came to open the carriage door. Quickly and rather instinctively, he grabbed the handle, pulling it shut to allow me a few moments to collect myself. His brow furrowed and he tilted his head. With one hand still holding the door to secure my integrity, the other rose to lift my chin. He waited for me to look up at him. "Do you remember the battle at the Fort, love? You took on the whole bleedin' lot of Hollow Men with every odd stacked against you. Even after most of the brigade was taken out of the fight, you rose above it all and kicked every arse that dared oppose you. This is just one arse...and he will never destroy you."

I looked up at him and nodded in understanding, willing a faint smile for him. "What would I do without you?" My arms relaxed into my lap and the panic that coursed through me subsided as my breathing slowed. I heaved one cleansing breath and managed a regal, albeit forced smile. "Would you…come in with me, Ben?"

He scratched his chin and pressed his lips together with a look of contemplation on his face. "Let me think on that. Drinks and dancing with beautiful company, or staying behind to guard an empty carriage with Morris…" He grinned. "I sure hope he brought himself a good book." His smile widened and he opened the door as he nodded, taking my hand to lead me out of the carriage. He tucked my arm under his and turned his head to whisper, close enough that I could feel his breath against the side of my neck, "Looking more radiant than the bride is frowned upon, you know... But not to worry, I won't leave your side."

I shook my head as his words brought a wide, genuine smile and a slight warmth to my face. We made our way toward the bridge where the ceremony was to take place as a herald announced my arrival. The guests rose to their feet and bowed, and I nodded politely with a smile even though I felt out of place receiving such attention at someone else's event.

I still hadn't a clue why Elliot and Linda wanted their ceremony to take place in Industrial. Even with all of the improvements, it was still such a lackluster setting for a wedding. The factory town always appeared foggy even on the nicest of days, and the smell was more of a malodorous assault on the nose. I could easily tolerate the metallic aroma of our budding industry, but the constant stench of old meat from the vendor stalls and the fumes of Bowerstone's sewer system still plagued the air. Perhaps they wanted to draw more attention to their newly restored orphanage, or maybe Elliot truly enjoyed living there and I didn't know him as well as I thought I did.

Ben and I were seated together in a reserved area at the very back of the gathering. Many of the guests turned around to regard me with looks of approval and appreciation. I had sacrificed at the expense of my own heart…for my country. This earned me the affection of the people, but did nothing for the emptiness I felt inside when I was left alone with my thoughts.

I looked up and my gaze fell on Elliot. He briefly glanced at me before turning his attention to Linda as the bard began to play their wedding song. His eyes widened and his face lit up as she approached him. I heard numerous whispers and hushed exchanges about what a beautiful bride she made. It was true…she did look beautiful. A knot twisted in my stomach as I saw him watching her with a look I'd thought once to be reserved only for me.

I let out an involuntary short breath as my heart began to ache heavily. The pressure inside was rebuilding, the familiar pain beginning to spread. Ben took my hand with a gentle squeeze and I struggled to regain control of my emotions. Even with my most trusted friend anchoring and supporting me, I was losing myself…but why? This was, after all, something I should have been prepared for the moment I told Elliot to do the honorable thing and stay with Linda, but I still harbored so much anger for his willingness to move on so quickly...so easily. I would never forgive him for putting me in the position to have such a decision forced upon me.

Stop this now. Let him go. This is madness.

Ben gave my hand another squeeze and my destructive thoughts were thankfully interrupted. I looked over to him and smiled as if everything was okay. But he knew me better than I knew myself, it seemed, because he raised his eyebrows and shook his head as if to say he wasn't buying my charade. Then, before I could look away, he closed his eyes slowly and pretended to nod off for a moment. I had to bite my lower lip to stifle a laugh, hoping no one saw our unbecoming antics.

The reception was held at a nearby factory building. The entire ground level had been cleared to reveal a dance floor surrounded by tables. The area was lit with beautiful oil lamps that were placed both on the tables and suspended above our heads to create a warm and romantic ambiance. The floral arrangements were modest and tasteful, consisting mainly of white peonies and daisies. A bard stood in the corner nearest the entrance to serenade the guests as they entered. There was also plenty of food beautifully laid out, but even such lovely presentation could not overcome my sickened stomach.

Ben escorted me inside and led us straight to the wine and spirits, thank the gods. He helped himself to a glass of whiskey and poured me a glass of mulled red wine. Before passing me my glass, he took a small sip from it. The gesture was more of a protective instinct he developed after an incident in Aurora when an incapacitating potion was slipped into my drink. I still smiled regardless because I felt genuinely cared about.

As we stood at the far end of the room, people began making their way to greet me. It was awkward to have my own receiving line when I was not even the bride, but this was all part of wearing the crown. I smiled and graciously shook hands with the guests, though frankly I did not enjoy the attention on a day like this. The citizens of Albion smiled upon me because I gave every last ounce of myself to ensure their happiness. These very same people would likely be pelting me with that beautiful arrangement of food had I decided not to pour my life savings into the treasury. I had traded my happiness for theirs, and I was still coming to terms with the losses I had suffered in order to put the people first. But I was their Queen, and I had no illusions about the responsibility that came with that weighty title.

Ben placed his hand gently at the small of my back, knowing I would need the support as Elliot and his new bride approached us. My heart jumped wildly in my chest and I hoped to the gods that my apprehension was not visible to them. I smiled and held out my hand as Elliot came forward to take it and place a gentle kiss on my knuckles, bowing. Linda curtsied, glowing with pleasure. "Your Majesty, it is an honor to have you here. I still can't thank you enough for all that you've done, all you've made possible."

I nodded. "Congratulations, Linda. It was very kind of you to invite me." I tried to keep my words short and to the point, out of fear that I may convey the true feelings that I fought to suppress.

"We wouldn't have it any other way, Your Majesty. I wouldn't be alive were it not for you. You brought me back to her, and for that we're both forever grateful," Elliot said, looking over at Linda and avoiding my direct gaze, as if he knew how much pain it was causing me to be present for this.

I froze. I could not find any words to say to him. This was the man to whom I had entrusted my heart, my first love, my first everything. The overwhelming urge to slap him made my hand twitch. How did you simply erase all of that history and act as if it had never happened? I opened my mouth, but still the words eluded me.

Ben quickly grabbed Elliot's hand in an overly firm handshake, saving me from my silent predicament. "You've done well, mate. I hope you two enjoy your new orphanage. You must both really love chasing those little buggers around in order to take on running that place!" He chuckled, conveying his statement in a funny, non-threatening way even though it was blatantly insulting. It was an art he seemed to have perfected, and I found it rather amusing.

Elliot, now clearly uncomfortable, smiled stiffly and nodded at Ben. He promptly started to usher his new wife away as she paused to chime in with an ecstatic smile, looking back at Ben, "Oh, I should hope so too, General Finn! Our little one should be along this winter!"

The false smile fell from my lips and my heart dropped. Elliot glanced back at me with an apologetic look, but he continued to lead Linda toward the dance floor. I turned away from the crowd, pretending to look out a nearby window. I truly just wanted to hide my face as the hot tears welled up, stinging my eyes as they threatened to fall quickly.

Ben leaned forward to look at my face. My unblinking gaze was impassive, though the shock taking over me was evident. "Evie-" He opened his mouth to speak, but I began speaking over him as if I'd not even heard him.

"He's married. They're having...a baby." I exhaled heavily as these painful truths left my lips, leaving me feeling utterly hollow. Linda had carved my heart from my chest and eaten it without having the slightest idea what she was doing. She could not have known what her words truly meant for me.

"Yes, love. And he's a sodding moron for his choice."

"I-I made the choice for him. I told him to stay with her. What have I done?"

"You've done no wrong in this, Evelyn." He used my full name, and I broke my gaze to stare at him, recognizing the seriousness in his tone. "There would have been no choice to make if that nitwit hadn't gone off with someone else before you could return from your duty. He couldn't even begin to understand what you went through to get back here."

I nodded softly, the pain and shock still coursing through my body. "I should go...freshen up a bit. Excuse me." I made my way through the dancing couples: a sea of happy faces, affectionate exchanges, and celebratory exclamations. My eyes moved up to find an ideal place to exit discreetly. I spotted the an exit door tucked behind some crates and then I saw Elliot and Linda in a tight embrace. His arm was around her waist and the other hand caressed the small, scarcely-noticeable bump of her belly as they kissed. The tears were coming quickly now. I felt my breath leave me and my heart raced. I felt so utterly foolish. I had to leave...now.

I walked as calmly as I could to the door and let myself out. Once outside I broke into a run, not caring one bit that the rain had started to fall more heavily. I heaved a great breath but my feet could not carry me away from the spreading pain, because it loomed inside me, where there was no escape. I made my way down an alley and stopped at a gated dead end. I was soaked, sobbing, and undoubtedly pathetic as I slid down the gate to land on my backside. I placed my head in my hands and tried with all my will to regain control. I was the Queen of Albion for Light's sake, and this was just a boy I loved, who had once loved me. Why did this unravel me so? I sobbed louder and harder and the release started to soothe me. It had been building within me all day.

"Evelyn!" I heard Ben rounding the corner, yet I still sat sobbing in my ruined dress.

"Evie, what the bloody hell are you doing?!" Ben sprinted up with a clear look of worry on his face.

"I...I'm sorry Ben. I just couldn't...I had to get out of there." My words turned to whispers as the uncontrollable sobbing returned. My body shook as I cradled my head in my hands, drowning in shame and frustration.

Ben took off his coat and wrapped it around me. He dropped to one knee and placed two fingers under my chin to lift my face toward his. "You can't just run off like that, love." He sighed, shaking his head. "I know right now it feels like hell. It will pass. What happened today, happened because he was never meant for you. There isn't any part of that tosser that deserves you, and after the pain subsides you'll realize it too." His hand moved from under my chin to the side of my face as he gently stroked my cheek with his thumb.

I looked up at him as I replayed his words in my mind. What was he saying? His eyes held a burning quality I'd never before seen and his expression was one of true sincerity. This time he wasn't winking, smirking, or chuckling back at me. By now my sobbing had subsided, my breathing had calmed, and the ache in my chest was diminished to a dull, throbbing sensation.

The rain continued coming down harder, dousing us both. Ben broke our gaze to stand up and hold his hand out. "We'd better get you out of this rain, Evie. I can't bring the Queen back soaked and sick." He lifted me to my feet and chuckled, "Though even soaked through, you look ravishing."

Our eyes met again, and as if by instinct, I reached my hands up to cup his face. I looked into his crystal blue eyes as I stroked the tickly blonde stubble on his jaw with my thumbs.

Have I gone mad? He's my best friend, and he's a soldier. This is crossing the line.

In that moment, I realized that going down this path meant jeopardizing my most cherished friendship. As I began pulling my hands back away from him, he put his hands on mine and returned them to his face. Our eyes locked as I blinked away my tears to see him more clearly. Strands of drenched blonde hair ran down the side of his face and the brilliant blue of his eyes was nothing short of striking against the gloomy gray backdrop around us.

Gods, he is beautiful. Why hadn't I seen it before?

His hands moved slowly to cup my face and he slowly drew me in closer. I took a deep breath and my heart pounded so fiercely I was almost certain he would feel it, beating for him. I closed my eyes as his lips met mine with exquisite tenderness. He kissed me softly at first. I felt something deep inside me reignite with passion, and I wrapped my arms tightly around him, drawing him closer. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me firmly against him. His other hand remained tenderly on the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. My lips parted, inviting him deeper into the kiss as his tongue moved to meet mine. It had been so long since I had been in the embrace of a man, so long since I'd been touched in any way that wasn't formal. I knew this was wrong but I needed this moment so desperately. I could no more stop this than I could stop the world spinning.

At some point during our kiss the rain let up and the sun peeked out in sporadic streaks through the clouds. It was almost as if the weather was mimicking my emotions. For the first time in so very long I felt warm daylight peeking through my clouded, broken heart.

A brisk wind whistled through the narrow alley and sent a shiver up my spine. Ben pulled away from our tight embrace and looked at me with a devilish smirk as he brushed a few soaked strands of hair from my face. "I'd certainly love to take credit for the shaking, but I reckon we should get you back before you catch a chill."

I looked at Ben and nodded in agreement, unable to find my voice. We began making our way back to the carriage in silence. The rush of passion was still coursing through my veins and I wondered if he felt the same, or if I was alone in my excitement. Perhaps since he had had the pleasurable company of so many ladies before, this was just a regular occurrence to him. Nothing extraordinary, nothing new.

The words bubbled up before I could stop them. "Ben, what does this mean?" Oh balls. I wanted to smack myself. What in the Light was I thinking?

Ben slowed his pace and placed his hand in mine. "It doesn't mean anything you don't want it to, love."

I didn't know quite what to say to him, I felt like such a fool. His response was so vague that I had no idea what to make of it. I told myself to bury the incident, along with my feelings, and try to get past today. I still had so much to do with my time as the Queen. I could not let my heart interfere with my most important work. It would be utterly selfish.

The day had been long and emotionally exhausting. Ben helped me into the carriage and shook his head at Morris before the man could even begin to inquire about my shocking appearance.

My head was spinning and I couldn't bring myself to look directly at Ben. He sat across from me, so I turned my gaze to the window and feigned sleepiness with the hope I could avoid further embarrassment. I rested my chin in my hand and closed my eyes, leaning against the side of the carriage.

To my surprise, Ben moved to sit next to me. Thinking I was asleep, he moved me so that I rested against him, wrapping his arms around me and placing my head in the crook of his neck. I was immediately surrounded by his warmth and strong arms. He felt so good, I didn't dare open my eyes despite the strong urge to steal another kiss from his delicious lips before we returned back to reality.

Time passed all too quickly, and much to my disappointment the carriage halted, signaling we'd arrived home. I lifted my head and looked up at the man who'd held me the whole way home. "Alright, love, let's get you inside before Jasper sees you in such a state. I do believe I would catch some serious shite for bringing you home waterlogged," he chuckled.

I laughed with him and agreed as I took his hand to be led out of the carriage. I had dreaded this day from the moment I received the obligatory invitation. Now that it was over, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my chest, despite the lingering pain of knowing that my relationship with Elliot was both dead and buried. I don't know what I would have done if Ben hadn't been there.

As we reached the door to my chambers, Ben took my hand and kissed my knuckles as he bid me farewell, the touch of his lips conjuring up vivid memories of our kiss. "Rest well, Your Majesty, and cheer up. Our next outing is bound to include significantly more shooting and fighting... though if you really wanted I could always go and teach that little wanker-"

I chuckled softly and interjected, "Not necessary, General, but thank you for the kind offer. Goodnight. ...and Ben?" I said as he started to walk away.

"Yes, love?" he whispered.

"Thank you...for everything." I smiled softly back at him before turning to enter my chambers.

I was an absolute mess, and my beautiful dress was clearly ruined, but I didn't care. I undressed, removed my jewelry, and sat at the basin to wash away what was left of my makeup. I didn't give much regard to the tangled mess that was my hair, nor did I even think to put on a clean dressing gown for bed. My mind was so full and my body was so exhausted, I crawled into my soft and inviting bed in nothing but my smallclothes.

Somewhere Elliot was laying with his bride, the mother of his unborn child. For a moment my heart began to ache again, but as my fingers rose to my lips I was reminded of Ben's kiss. I could still almost feel the flutter of pleasure his lips had sent through me. I smiled gently and rolled onto my side, drifting quickly into slumber for the first time in as long as I could remember.

Author's Note: *Updated with chapter revision on 2/17/2015!* I have been wanting to revisit and refine all of the written chapters of CotC for a long time now, so whether you are a first time or returning reader, I thank you all the same for reading! This was my very first story and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I loved writing (and now rewriting) it!

Reviews and feedback make my day and are much appreciated!